Retreating

Ok, so today was better in some ways, but not in others - I didn't throw up at all today. I did however have stomach cramps all day - and the got progressively worse as the day went on... but thank goodness they're done now. I've also had some seriously LOUD gurgling going on in there - it's embarassing, but it could be a lot worse.

I didn't hear from the doctor today, but I do have a follow up with the gastrointerologist on Monday the 11th. I talked to the girl at his office, and my file was on his desk - she said he'd call or have her call me if they saw anything on the ultrasound. I guess no news is good news, but am I the only one that thinks they should go ahead and call you with good or bad news - just so you don't worry about it for days?!

On a totally unrelated topic: A new show (Women's Murder Club) started last fall, and I fell in love with it for several reasons...

1. I love Angie Harmon
2. I love television crime shows
3. I love flawed characters that I can really care about...

Now, due to the writer's strike - there isn't much left on television these days worth watching... other than the few episodes of the things that didn't show in the fall. What this means for me is that it's time to form those exercise habits, and do some serious reading. Well, the Women's Murder Club is based on a series of books written by James Patterson.

I started reading the first one "1st to Die" last night and I absolutely love it! One really cool feature is that the chapters are all between 3 and 4 pages long - so they are really easy to read, and for someone that has a mild case of OCD - I don't have to finish reading in the middle of a chapter. I guess it makes me feel like I've completed a thought. It's a little after 8 here, and I'm pretty beat - so I'm off to read a few chapters and then drift off into dreamland... thank goodness tomorrow is Friday, but Saturday is a study day... John will be working on his new workbench that he's building for the garage, and I'll be studying for my test. I'll be sure to post pictures of John and his creation at the end of the weekend.

Whew...what a day...

Lets see... we started off the day going to get blood drawn for SEVERAL tests - I ended up having to give 6 of the large vials, and 6 of the smaller ones... and should hear back on all of those in about a week.

From there we went and checked into the hospital. It's amazing to me the amount of paperwork you have to fill out for a proceedure that it supposed to take all of 15 minutes! It always cracks me up too when they ask you if you feel safe at home... with your husband standing right there... if you didn't feel safe at home - I certainly don't think you'd feel safe to say it at that moment either. John and I always get a laugh about that - and tease each other all the time about it... if he accidentally nudges me - I'll be "I'm not safe at home!!" and we laugh.

Anyway, they took me back to the area where they do the tests, and I filled out some more paperwork and got all set up with the IV and machines needed to monitor my vital signs during the proceedure. They wheeled me to another room and we waited for the doctor to arrive. From there I got my instructions and "happy drugs" (that didn't really work) - I don't really remember them putting the scope in or anything like that, but I do remember a few times where I'd sort of cough or gag a little - and they'd just tell me to relax and breathe.

They took me back to the prep area where I had to wait for 30 minutes in "recovery" so that the drugs could wear off a little more so you can walk out. John came in and talked to the doctor, and come to find out - they didn't see any ulcers or strictures while they were in there. It all looked great, and I have the nasty pictures to prove it.

They told John to go get the car and I got dressed - I was ready to walk out the door, and the doctor called back to tell them to send me over for an ultrasound of my abdomen. I walked right in and got that done - then we were able to come home.

Basically, for now I'm back a couple of steps in my diet plan - eating the protein shakes again, and staying away from meats. I'll hopefully hear something from the docs on my ultrasound in the next day or so - and from there I go back to the gastrointerologist in two weeks for an update.

For now, I'm still groggy and don't feel great - but I'm trying to function. It's back to work tomorrow which hopefully will be uneventful, but we all know that it probably will stink...as it normally does.

Here we go...

Hi everyone,

I'm still having nausea today - so I decided I'd better go ahead and push up my visit with my doctor. I saw him at 2PM today, and he immedately called my surgeon - and a friend of his that is a gastrointerologist.

So he sent me down to see Dr. Azad straight from his office, and they've basically decided that it could be one of three things:

• A stricture - the food isn't passing through because of scar tissue
• An ulcer
• Gallbladder that possibly needs to be removed

So tomorrow morning - I'll be in outpatient surgery having a scope done down my throat - thank goodness for good drugs!! From there - Dr. Azad will be able to see if there is an ulcer anywhere, or if there is a stricture. If it is a stricture - he'll be able to stretch it with a baloon, but it will take three scopes to get it completely stretched to where it should be.

He said that 80% of the time though, it looks completely normal - which means they'll have to start looking at the gallbladder option.

Since I can't match the problem to any trigger food - they're having to be aggressive to figure out what it is - in the mean time though - I'm only to have my protein shakes. It's sort of like going back to week 1 out of surgery. (only I can tollerate 4 ounces at a time instead of 2)

I won't be able to go to work tomorrow - I'll have to come home and rest because of the drugs. So that means another day off, but I'd rather that than feel bad, right?!

I hate throwing up

Ok, the title should clue you in on what this post is about... meaning DAD... you might not want to read this one...

Ever since I was released for eating solid foods - I've had this happen a couple or three times a week... but today - I spent the entire day throwing up! Once was so hard that I saw stars and was dizzy for a few minutes. Of course when I needed to have the bathroom at the office alone - was just about the time that everyone on my floor needed to use the facilities... so I had to get creative.

Anyway - the last time was on my way home from work (thank God I had a cup in the car), and that was about 3 and 1/2 hours ago. I'm now really weak and dehydrated, but I've gotten in two thirds of a protein shake this evening... which at least means I've gotten some nurishment into my system - which hadn't happened since around noon.

I was so scared to tell John - poor thing - I know that he always means well... but I just saw myself being wisked off to the ER tonight. He's been great - when I got home though - I accidentally scared him to death. Here is about how it went:

John: "What's with the milk?"
Me: "I don't want to tell you..."
John: "Tell me"
Me: "Ok, but promise me that you'll let me handle it my way..."
John: "What is it?!"
Me: "I've been throwing up all day"
John: "What do you mean?"
Me: "Well, I got in two meals this morning but ever since I've been throwing up about once every hour or so. Let me try to drink some shake tonight, and if I can't keep it down - we'll call the doctor tonight"
John: "Okay, but don't ever scare me like that again"
Then there is a big hug...

I'm headed to bed right now - I've been dozing in between my two meals tonight... sounds like I'll probably have to call my doctor tomorrow, and stop for some gatorade on my way to work in the morning.

I'm starting to become convinced that something is wrong here... but I'm giving it another day or so to see how things go.

Where does it go?

Ok, seriously - I feel like I just got home and it's still Friday night... but with a deep breath - I realize that it's all about to start over again tomorrow.

Church was great this morning, and I'm really embrassing the difference in the new pastor. Don't get me wrong - I loved Pastor James (our old pastor) but the new one is the polar opposite of him. Sometimes change is good - and I'm learning that in several different areas of my life right now... there was always a safety in the way that things are when you're obese. You sort of live to blend in and not get noticed... you do everything you can to not draw any attention to yourself. (Or at least that's how I've always been)

Well, when my home church disolved right after my surgery - that forced me to break out of my comfort zones in several areas of my life. I could no longer drown my life in food, and I could no longer sit back and play a passive role in my walk with God.

I believe that Pastor Kevin is so different from James - that it's going to really shake up my Christian walk. You see - until I met Pastor James at Fellowship of Houston - I had only prayed for salvation, but never tried to grow my faith and learn more about what it means to be a Christ follower. Well, this morning Kevin said something that spoke to me... he said something about people contacting him if they wanted to learn more about what it means to be a Christian, and he will personally work with you to help you grow in your faith and understanding of the Bible.

I think that the two churches are in vastly different places - in terms of overhead and I think that by the time John and I found Fellowship of Houston... they were already struggling financially and that took most of James' concentration and effort to keep moving... Cypress Family Fellowship is in a different place because they don't have the same type of overhead - and Kevin can focus more on people.

I watch him on Sunday mornings, and it's just so neat to watch the Pastor walk around to each couple and talk to them before the service. Even during the worship service - he is making sure that everyone knows how much he appreciates them being there. Poor James, he was always so wrapped up in the service that he couldn't or didn't do that at FOH - it wasn't until the stress of running his own church was lifted from him that I started to see him be able to do that at the new facility.

So all of that to tell you guys that I'm going to contact Pastor Kevin and move forward with my faith. I still haven't been baptised, and I'd like to do that at some point in the near future - we'll see what their process is for this. FOH did them very spur of the moment at someone in the congregation's pool... and there was never a time that I could do it when my family could come and witness the ceremony. (That is really important to me) I've got a little farther to go working on my extreme shyness or social anxiety... but I'm going to try to get there.

Cooking Marathon

We started the day with one of the best gifts John has ever given me - a cleaning lady coming to take care of the house once a month. She gets here at about 7AM and finishes shortly before 1PM, and I mean it when I tell you that her services are the best money we ever spend. It saves me so much time and grief trying to do it myself... I should have taken the opportunity to study then, but I instead did some cleaning of my own - just a few things that I don't want her to worry about.

Today was another Saturday full of cooking - we made chicken spaghetti, beef stroganoff (with ground meat), and a stuffed bell pepper filling that my Mom made when I was a kid (again with ground meat)... tomorrow I'm going to make a stir-fry dish with chicken, mushrooms and zucchini.

The sun came out for a little while today, and it was a nice change from all the crazy rain. I didn't get the chance to sit outside and study today, but there is always tomorrow. I've got to get cracking on that tomorrow because the test is only about 3 weeks away.

After an afternoon of nothing but cooking - I set out to relax and watch a movie - so we've been watching Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, which is every bit as good as the book. I have enjoyed reading every one of the seven books in the series, and the movies are just as I imagined everything in my head while I was reading it. (Sometimes even better) The special effects and cinematography in all the movies have been amazing. Unfortunately though - I think I wore myself completely out today because I've been nodding off frequently. As I sit here and type - John has nodded off behind me and is sleeping.

I don't think we're far from hitting the pillow for the night, and I can't wait!!

Brrrrr...it's cold!

Ok - I know that some of my blog friends live in really cold places... but for Houston it's miserable right now... and truly - you'll get your revenge on the temp thing this summer because Michigan and places like that are mild in the summers compared to the unbearably humid days when it's over 100 degrees outside.

Anyway - it's been rainy and cold since Monday - I'm really in need of a little sunshine just to brighten my spirits... but that's not on tap for us for a few more days. There might be a small break tomorrow - so I will hopefully be able to sit outside and do some studying for my test.

Tonight, we had some mexican food and are relaxing by a fire... watching Spiderman 3. It's a nice change to the rest of the weekly grind... so I'm totally digging the warmth and mindless movie. I didn't even eat badly - I had a tostada which was like a very small taco salad without the shell. I ate about half of it and John finished it for me... but it was tasty!

The movie is just okay... I don't really remember being very into the first two either, but John likes this action stuff - so occasionally I suffer through for him... tomorrow I'll make him watch The Waitress or Harry Potter with me. We've still got a stack of movies from Christmas to get through...

We watched Shrek the Third last week, and it was pretty cute - I absolutely love that the studios are now adding adult jokes to cartoons - at least if we have to sit through them - we can get a laugh too, right? I watched the first 15 minutes when my little brother and sister were here, and it was such an interesting experience - because they laughed at the same parts as me, but for different reasons. It's like they make Shrek burp at the same time they have a character say something whitty and funny... so everyone is happy. I looooove good writing like that.

Just one more thing

I haven't blogged about it before, but my grandmother has been having some trouble lately with her iron levels. The doctors would transfuse her, but within a months time - her levels would be back to alarmingly low levels again. About a week ago - they did a bone marrow biopsy to try to get some real answers about what's going on with her. They found out that her diagnosis is something called Myelodysplasia - it's a mild form of leukemia - where her body makes the iron, but it doesn't get distributed to her cells.

It's basically the same thing as type II diabetes - just with a different outcome - or at least you can make a good analogy with it. When you're diabetic - your body makes the insulin, but it is not absorbed - thus causing there to be too much sugar in the blood. There is an injectable drug (I was on it for a while) that basically forces the pancreas to make the correct amount of insulin, and actually forces the body to use it. Thus helping regulate your sugar levels without having to use synthetic insulin.

ANYWAY - all of that to say that they are putting Meme on bi-weekly injections that will help force her body to use the iron that is made in her own system. We are praying that this works for her, and gives her a better quality of life than she has been living with for the last few months. She's been really run down and anemic - which is not my grandmother's typical lifestyle or personality...

Now, despite the obvious worries that I have for my grandmother and her health - I'm concerned for other reasons as well - mainly if this is a hereditary disease... because I've just gone through surgery that is going to have me extremely susseptable to vitamin defeciencies - with iron being one of the major ones that tends to get low. So should I now be worried that I'm depriving myself of iron through this malabsorptive intestinal system that I've had created for myself... and also that at some point my body is going to stop absorbing what little bit is there?!

Thank goodness I go back to see my doctor next Thursday. Not my surgeon - but my real doctor that is, Dr. Weinstein... the best doctor in the world. His specialty is bariatrics, but he's an internal medicine doctor - so I feel sure that he'll be able to handle this worry and help me figure out a plan. I'm also planning on talking to him about getting a bone density scan as well - at our first support group meeting after my surgery he was the speaker and talked about how important this is for us as WLS patients. It is vitally important for us to track the changes in our bone density every year so that we'll know how we're doing with our calcium. I haven't had this yet - so I'm at least going to ask him what our plan of action is on it for the future.

No more whining

Ok, I promise I'll stop talking about work... but it is therapeutic to get it out in the open - to some degree.

I found myself today wishing that I could drown my problems with something edible... and of course I can't do that anymore... so I was at a loss for a stress reliever. They tell you when you have this surgery that your relationship with food will change - sort of like "murdering your best friend." Well, I missed that best friend today... not because of hunger - still not feeling that - but just for the shear emotional need to put something self-destructive in my mouth. I'm pretty proud of myself because I was able to resist for the most part - I did break down and eat one small little mini-peanut butter cup... somehow I didn't end up with the "dumping" syndrome that most gastric by-pass patients end up with... which is good and bad. It's great because I don't ever have those crazy symptoms, but bad because I don't scare myself away from the bad foods by the symptoms. I just have to practice self control... and I am doing well at that.

I've got to figure out a way to snap out of this - I wonder if it's just the gloomy weather and lack of sunshine... but something has definently got me in a funk. Part of it is not feeling great, but part of it is emotional too... but I'm not good at articulating those things.

Maybe it is all of that, plus the fact that I added the certification test onto the rest of my worries... I am such a "nervous nelly" when it comes to big tests, and especially ones that have a very huge role to play in my personal future. It always seems to go well, but I certainly am relieved when they are over!

All of this, and I really do have to say that I'm doing alright over all - but I needed a place to vent, and what better place than your own blog - where you control the content! HA - that comment reminds me of my sister, Cindy's rehersal dinner for her wedding... my brother-in-law, Robert was paying for it, and his speech that night was really long... and at one point he said "I'm paying - so I'm going to say everything I want to" or something to that effect. So funny!!

Random Rambling

Today didn't start off well - I woke up with a migraine, and decided to stay home for the day. I ended up doing work for a few hours from here (which will go unappreciated) and as usual there were problems at the office.

I wish I was a person that could put it all behind me and leave it at the office, but I'm just not. I feel so much like everyday is a lesson in humility...and while I am great at making them think that they've won... it eats at me. I can't even relax sometimes when I come home and take a bath or veg in front of the television... because I sit there and stew about it in my mind. I am so ready to quit!! That will be a truly beautiful day!

I signed up for my certification exam today - it will be on February 14th at 6PM. I will end up taking that day and the day after off - I have an appointment with my surgeon on the 15th anyway. My studies for the exam will begin either tonight or tomorrow - as I now need to learn a lot about english, reading, math, social studies, science, health, music, and physical education for kindergarden through 4th grade. It's been a long time! I've got lots to brush up on!

I did get some scrapbooking done today - in hopes that it would take my mind off of my headache... as if the mind over matter stuff works, but I had to try. I ended up getting the beginning of the book completed... so I'm pretty excited about that!

This page is basically a journal entry about all of the hurdles I had to jump over before the surgery.

This page is about the pre-thanksgiving that John set up for me when we found out that my surgery would be the week before the official Thanksgiving.

This page talks about the actual surgery and shows the photo of my insicions from right after I got home. I wish I would have gotten John to take a picture or two of me at the hospital - he had the camera...but it never occured to me.

This photo is just a collection of cards that were given to me in the hospital - mostly from the flower arrangements that were sent to me, but one from a friend at work.

That pretty much sums up my day... we're still waiting to hear how Meghan's surgery went - her sister is supposed to update her blog today. I'm sure that it went great, but it will be good to hear how she's officially doing from her family.

Prayers for Meghan

Another one of my blog friends is having her gastric bypass surgery this morning, and I wanted to send up a special prayer for her. Meghan is a very special lady, and I know that her surgery is going to go well... then she'll be on the losing side right here with me!

God, you created Meghan, and your care and love have sustained and nourished her all these years of her life. You know the very fabric of her being. Be with her now, she needs you very much, very much. Grant that she may feel your presence as she prepares to undergo this operation. Help her to realize that she is never alone, no matter how deeply she may feel alone. Give knowledge and skill to her doctors and to the nursess who care for her. Be with Meghan in the coming hours as you have been with her since her life first began. I ask in the name of Jesus, who touched and healed those who needed and believed in him. Amen

I also wanted to give you guys an update on my other blog friend, Lacy, who I prayed for a week ago - she's doing well in her recovery. She's had some ups and downs along the way, but with time and God's help - she'll be much better in the near future.

I am so excited for both of these girls as they join me in this journey - and I know that all three of us will achieve our goals in time. It's not always easy to have patience and see the big picture, but we are supporting each other - and we'll get there when the time is right!

Also want to give a shout out to, "the other" Kim, she's still waiting to get her insurance approval - but she's not to far behind, and we'll be here cheering her on when her surgery date comes!

Craziness Ensues

Well, it's another cold & wet day in paradise... or whatever you want to call it. One of those days that you just want to stay in bed and pull the covers over your head - and sleep it away. What a blissful way to get through a Monday, right?

Nothing much is going on here today - just more of the same at work, although no one has bothered me to much today. There is this one girl who offices not to far from me though - she drives us all crazy. She's getting married in April, and asks 100 questions of every married woman in the office... and she spends the whole day on the phone dealing with her wedding stuff. I guess today I'm particularly discusted with her because I heard her on the phone earlier complaining that one of her shower's isn't being held at a nice enough restaurant. Call me crazy, but isn't it normal and gracious to just be happy with whatever your friends are willing and able to provide for you? I just can't imagine...

So let me leave you with a funny story from last night: As it was a cold day - John built a fire and kept it going for me pretty much all afternoon. (Since the surgery - I can't seem to get warm enough!!) I went to bed around 9:30 or so (don't judge me - we get up at 5!!) and John stayed up to let the fire die down some more before going to sleep. Well, he must have come to bed at about 10... and at about 10:30 - I hear him scream and jump out of the bed...running for the living room. I'm really groggy...but I roll over and see the whole living room is lit up with this orange glow. Missy (one of our dogs) takes off running and barking after John, and I'm still in bed trying to unravel myself from the covers and call her back out of the way... I make it into the living room, and the last log that was in the fireplace was completely ablaze... but enclosed in within the fireplace and glass doors. After a huge sigh of relief - we go back to bed and the conversation goes something like this:

Kim: "You okay?"
John: "Yeah"
Kim: "Did you forget that you closed the glass doors?"
John: "No"
Kim: "What did you think could have happened"
John: "I don't know"

And thus, we close another weekend at the Hawkins' house... with a semi-heart attack.

Church Home?

As most of you know - our church (Fellowship of Houston) was absorbed into a large "mega" church in the area called The Met - this happened about the time of my surgery, but I was able to attend our last service on December 2nd. John and tried going to the new church, but it just didn't feel like it would ever be the place that we'd call home... after going to somewhere as special as FOH was - you just can't get excited about becoming one in 5,000 people in a single worship service. We are used to being one in about 200 (or less) and loved the feeling of family that the smaller setting provided... not to mention the accountability of being noticed when there or not there.

All of that being said - we might have found a new church home this morning. We attended a church plant that is currently meeting at a local YMCA campus, but has a solid plan for when they'll decide to buy land or build their own buildings... it seems that they have a great foundation. The church's current name is Church of the Bridgelands, but they are in the process of changing their name to Cypress Family Fellowship. The pastor, Kevin was funny and engaging... not to mention he spent the time to talk to us both before and after the service to get our story and to find out what we thought of the service. He also came over to talk to us briefly during the music just to tell us that he was glad we were there. If that doesn't make you feel welcome and special - I don't know what would.

His message today was both practical, but also full of scripture - and he was hilarious when making his point. It was a great message that I enjoyed listening to - which I haven't felt in a while. Certainly not when I was visiting The Met - I just couldn't get engaged there by their pastor, and I really need that - I need someone that keeps me engaged and entertained or I will lose focus and not catch the message for the day.

They are starting a new series right now talking about money - which they are accompanying with Financial Peace University as a small group program. We've already taken FPU, but it's never bad to hear the principals of the course again...

I think it was a very successful day for us spiritually, and I am actually excited about going back next week. They are in the process of registering for their Women's Retreat, and it actually sounds like fun... if only I didn't have this crazy issue with social anxiety!! I would really love to go, but I wonder if I know anyone that would want to go with me - just so that I'm not quite as uncomfortable as I would be going alone... that just makes me more shy!!

Good Saturday Fun

Today has been nice - I did some grocery shopping, read a magazine, did some scrapbooking, and rested. Tomorrow will bring much of the same - although I'm trying out a new church in the morning, and will absolutely soak in a long leisurely bath at some point before the end of tomorrow.

This is my before picture next to my 2 month post-op pic. The weight remains at 36 pounds as of this morning, but John swears that there are noticable changes.

This is my Mom's page in the scrapbook - it turned out nice... I'm really happy with it.

This is my Dad's page... I think it turned out really well too.

I'm working on a few other pages that aren't related to the letters as well - sort of a journal page explaining what all we went through to get approved for the surgery from the insurance... and a little about the fact that it didn't happen. Then I'm going to make a page for every month showing my before pics, and each month after with my weight at the end of that month and my measurements for that month.

Just for Fun

These videos were taken at least 3 1/2 years ago when Taylor was about 2 years old... and she loves going back to see them... as we all do - but it's just so hard to imagine her this small. They were taken on our digital camera - so the quality isn't very good...

The first one is Taylor shakin her booty...

The second is Taylor singing "These Boots Are Made for Walking"

Grumpy

It's a cold and rainy day here in Houston today... and that doesn't even begin to be a part of the reason that I'm in one of the most foul moods I've seen in a very long time.

Lets see - I woke up regularly today, and actually might have felt a little better than I have recently. I decided to go to work early today so that I could leave at 3:30... I suffered through another day of doing two jobs, but at about 3:30 things turned bad... my boss's boss decided that instead of letting us go home and enjoy our weekend - he'd turn into a monster and belittle us in a way that only he can.

Somehow he has a way of making you feel like you're a complete idiot, and you'll sit there and agree with him... then go back to your desk and get so upset for letting someone talk to you in that manner - I mean I wouldn't let my parents or husband talk to me like that - so why should he be allowed to do that?! It's very much a pride swallowing lesson in humility... and is one of the single biggest reasons that I start having anxiety attacks about going back to work on Sunday afternoons... I know it's silly, but just thinking about the week that lays ahead makes me want to crawl in a hole!

At any rate - instead of being able to leave at 3:30 and come home to get a jump start on the weekend with John... I ended up working until 5:30 and then sitting in traffic for 2 hours. I feel like a total baby because I'm complaining about work again - I don't think I've done in a long time - and promise to not do it again for several more months... but as I finally sit down in my chair in front of a lovely fire my husband built to keep me warm... all I can think is CALGON...take me away!!

Work Stinks

I've always been one of those people that needs to be inspired to enjoy what I'm doing - or I get bored. I think that's partially because I fell into my current career path by accident - not by choosing. Don't get me wrong though - I have got a GREAT work ethic instilled in me by my parents (who did an amazing job raising me... if I do say so myself)... so that's not the problem.

I've been feeling very overwhelmed at work this week because one of my co-workers is on a cruise (lucky dog!) and I'm having to cover her job and mine right now. I know that it's payback for me going out for surgery, BUT I was able to get the people I support self sufficient before I left so that there wouldn't be much burden on anyone else. ANYWAY, things here have been nuts this week without her - and all this extra work is getting in the way of my life!

What we do is extremely detailed, and not at all what I enjoy doing. I can be very detailed and thorough, but this again is not something I'm interested in. I currently work in the healthcare industry - but more specifically - I work for the non-profit section of the hospital. We're responsible for raising all the money that funds our programs... my part in that is to do the research on the potential donors.

What that means to all of you is that I am responsible for reading all the public records on people and determining what we should ask them to donate. This is very tedious, and you'd all be really frightened by the amount of information we can pull up on everyone... I guess the good thing is that we really can't pull up any debt information... or that would really be scary! So for instance - if we were trying to solicit - oh... I don't know... Jennifer Aniston (assume that she isn't a celebrity) we'd start by looking at the value of her home, her other assets, her salary information (not all are published), her stock holdings (only insider stock is published), any news articles that she's been mentioned in, her gifts to other charities (most are published), and anything else we can get... voter records, tax leins, home sales, marriage records, death records... all of that junk...

It feels very much like playing "Big Brother" and I can't stand it - I feel like I violate people's privacy on every level each day that I come to work... and I can't wait until I can start teaching and do something that I respect and can be proud of!

That's enough for today... I'm just tired and overwhelmed, and really wish that tomorrow was a holiday or Saturday so that I could relax and work on scrapbooking!

Maintaining Momentum

Whew - it's tough trying to be healthy... I'm really ready for that day when I wake up and have energy again! I hate waking up and feeling like I haven't slept at all... I feel like the parent of a newborn without even having the joys of the baby!

I woke up tired and sore today - so I struggled with not canceling my walk with my buddies for tonight, but John told me that this is the time when I need to push through it and keep going. The weather here isn't ideal for a walk, but I'm going to do it anyway - unless it's raining when I get home. Jenn is going to come and John will go - so it is keeping me much more accountable than if I were trying to do this without them... so I owe them - BIG!!

I'm on day three of getting all my water in - so that is a major victory for me... if I can keep it up over the weekend - that will be the biggest win of all!

I'll leave today's message short, and send off with a few old pictures of John & I.

This was our engagement picture - taken in 2001.

This was us getting ready to go to a party - taken in 2006.

This was taken right after our engagement in 2001.

Here we are at a Texas A&M game versus Texas Tech in 1999.

It felt like we traveled with the team that year... I was still at A&M and we went to Lubbock for this game, and also went to another game in Oklahoma, and one in Shreveport, Louisiana... then to the bowl game that year, and I ended up having a hospital trip with food poisoning... we stopped traveling for games after that one.

Proud of Myself

Hi everyone out there in blog-land. There hasn't been much going on today - other than an annual well-woman checkup... I REALLY hate those.... doctors typically don't bother me, but there is nothing like having your dignity stripped away like that on a yearly basis. I love my doctor, but have a major complaint about her freaking nurses... they can't take someone's weight for anything! They still have one of those old scales (like you'd have at home - if you weren't a WLS patient) that only goes up to 50 pounds... and there is another little number that rolls to show if you're inbetween 200, 250, or whatever. So the nurse is taking my weight, and I'm pretty proud to be in the 200's... but she tells me 255... and I'm 30 pounds heavier than that! ARG! They did the same thing last year... my weight was 100 pounds off from the actual! Seriously?! All I could say back then was thank goodness that the hospital took my weight again when they had to do my emergency surgery in January of '07 because it could have been ugly if they used the number from the doctor's chart!

So on to other issues, we found out last night that our walking path that we've used for two of our 3 walks is between 1 mile and 1.1 miles... either way - not to bad for a 30 minute walk.

This morning - I had some extra time at home while I was waiting for my doctor's appointment - so I went ahead and rode the bike for 30 minutes and actually went 7.75 miles. That burned like 385 calories... which actually means that half of my calories for today were burned in that 30 minute workout session.

My total calories for today are 782, with 109 grams of protein... which is pretty darn good. My nutritionist gave me some advice via email on my listing of food intake from yesterday:

• Stop the grape juice - which is no biggie at all.
• Try to eat something solid for breakfast so that it keeps me full... I haven't had any problems with hunger...
• Try to get 70 - 80 grams of protein through eating solid foods instead of using my shakes.
• If I have trouble keeping up with the protein, then I can use the shakes to supplement the protein level.

I still am struggling with advice being different between the surgeon and the nutritionist, but I think that as long as I'm getting the right amount of protein... then that's the biggest battle. I'll have to try to find something to eat for breakfast... which is going to be hard because eggs seem to make me really ill since the surgery. I don't know what that could possibly be about, but I've tried to eat scrambled eggs twice since I have been allowed to, and neither time went well.

Prayers for Lacy

Hi everyone,

I promise to write more later, but I wanted to send up some prayers for a blog friend, Lacy, who is having her gastric bypass surgery this morning. I know that she's going to do great!!

Almighty God, my heavenly Father, as you have always sent angels to do your healing work, so you have sent men and women as instruments of your healing now. Bless the surgeons and all who will attend to Lacy, that their knowledge and skill might bring the healing you desire. Grant Lacy the confidence to know that all of her days are in your care. Through Jesus Christ, my Lord. Amen

Working the Plan

I've been emailing with a blog friend of mine today about various freakouts that I've been battling with in my head about this surgery. Mainly that I'm scared to death that the fact that my scale isn't moving - or my weight isn't going down - that this means that I've done all of this for nothing. I try to force those thoughts out of my head, but from time to time - they creep in and take hold of my brain... probably because we've all been conditioned by the diets we've tried in the past that have only lead to failure.

The difference with surgery is that you can't give up and go back to your old ways - or you can, but you'd really have to be ready for some pain and work at it constantly. It might not be so hard a few years down the line, but my hope is that I never let myself forget where I came from in the journey. Whenever the scale goes up more than a couple of pounds at any given time (once I reach my goal) I plan to refocus and pull out the scrapbook I'm currently making to see how far I've traveled and what the stakes are if I let the battle go. I of course am glad that I have such a great support system both in the blog world and at home.

So I'm desperately trying today to just let all of those feelings go - and do what I know I need to in order to someday see a light at the end of this tunnel. As Donna says - when we're heavier - it takes longer for us to see changes in our clothing sizes... so I'm trying to stay positive. I have seen some changes there, but not as dramatic as I would have hoped I would see by now.

Here is what I'll have consumed by the end of the day:

6 AM - 8 oz of Grape Juice - sweetened with splenda... because I'm still trying to not get sick!

7-8 AM - 16 oz of water - on the drive in to work...

8:30 AM - 4 oz of my Isopure shake (chocolate) mixed with Mootopia Skim Milk

9 - 10:30 AM - 8 oz of water - work makes me so unfocused with drinking!!

11 AM - 4 oz of Isopure shake (chocolate) mixed with Mootopia Skim Milk

11:30 - 12:30 PM - No water... DARN!

1 PM - 2 oz turkey patty with spinach, 1 tsp mayo, and 1/4 of a low-carb pita

1:30 - 2:30 PM - 8 oz of water

3 PM - 1/2 cup frozen edamame steamed with chicken broth, and a dash of soy sauce

3:30 - 4:15 - 16 oz of water

4:45 PM - 4 oz of Isopure shake (chocolate) mixed with Mootopia Skim Milk

5:15 - 6 PM - 16 oz of water - if I make these last two... that gets my 64 oz today!!

7 PM - 2 oz leftover rotisserie chicken and 1/4 cup of green beans

7:30 PM - if I can take it - I'll have 10 oz of iced tea with 1 packet of splenda

So those of you out there that are WLS veterans - let me know what you think about my diet for today...

I'll also be walking at 6 with my friends - I don't know the distance that we walk, but we walk for 30 minutes. I'll get out there one of these days soon and drive our walk path to see how far we go in those 30 minutes.

I've also just sent my daily plan to the nutritionist for my hospital - Jodi has always been a great help - so maybe she'll have some suggestions or offer to look over my diet for a few days to see if there is something I could be doing better.

Productive Day

Whew! I'm exhausted tonight... I spend a good part of the day cooking - I started at about 10 AM and finished at about 2:30... but You won't believe my freezer at this point!! I might not have to cook for 2 weeks!!

I made Oriental Chicken with Mushrooms, Chicken Cacciatore, Teriyaki Chicken Burgers, Crab Stuffed Mushrooms, and Turkey Burgers with spinach. I got about 2 portions out of each for John, and 5 for me... so I've got 22 meals made... and I'll eat about 2 a day... Amazing! I'd gladly share my recipies with you on all of these - just ask if you're interested. I modified them a little from what the cookbook said, but they look great! I got the recipies for today from the book Eating Well after Weight Loss Surgery - next time I'll take a crack at my other book, Recipies for Life After Weight-Loss Surgery.

After I finished cooking - I set out to do some scrapbooking...

This is my scrapbooking corner - I set it up in our extra (empty) room. I don't know where I'll move my craft area to once this room becomes the nursery... but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

This is the cover of my weight loss surgery scrapbook - I absolutely love it! I can't decided though on if I'm going to take the protective cover off of it or not... It seems like to get it off I'm going to have to cut it - so I've got to be really sure of my decision before taking action.

Here is the first page I finished - I did it a week or so ago - but it's just a cover page for the scrapbook. It was my attempt at playing with my cricut machine. I really love that machine... but I've got to save some money and buy some other cartridges.

This is the start of the actual book - or at least the start of making pages - I haven't quite got my format down for what will come before the letters, but since John's letter was long - I knew that I wouldn't have to come up with much else to put on the page. He really likes the way this one turned out...

This is the page for John's parents - their letter was also really long - so I didn't have to embellish it to much. Their letter is really funny and sweet at the same time, but I had to do some serious formatting to get it all on one page.

Up next will be my parent's pages, but their letters are somewhat shorter - so I spent an hour looking for pictures to put on their pages with their letters... I'm still not sure if I'm happy with the pictures for my Mom's page - so I'm going to continue to look. I found a perfect shot for my Dad's though - or at least unless I find something else. I'll continue to take pictures of the pages as I finish them - but of course looking at a photo won't do the book justice!

John and I took the dogs on a walk at about 5:30, and walked a good long time with them. I think we walked for about 40 - 45 minutes - but it's hard to tell because there was some drama before the walking actually started. We have one creepy neighbor across the street that has some crazy dogs... well the dog must have heard our girls' collars and came bolting at the fence and popped through a board and came out barking. Everyone is fine and the neighbor fixed their fence, but both dogs seem sort of mean... one is a pitbull and the other is a mutt of some kind.

After returning from our walk - John asked if I had frozen all the food that we'd cooked earlier in the day, and of course I had... so after all of that - we had to cook dinner! It was okay because he'd planned on making himself some chili to add to his stock in the freezer, but we didn't have one of the ingredients he needed - so we had the meat... and he just made some regular burgers. We ate them with low-carb pita serving as the bun... and they were pretty good. I got tickled though because my patty was about 2 ounces, and my bun was only 1/4 of a pita... and I was full!! I just thought that was hilarious! The great thing is that I have 3 more "buns" and tons of patties in the freezer for various meals... so I'm all set!

New Year's Pictures

Better late than never, right?! Here are a couple of pictures from a relaxing day at home with John's family... we get together every year and make the traditional meal for luck and money... as if it works anyway... I'm glad that I've never been a fan of that food!!

John's Dad took the RealAge test while at our house... he's .1 years younger than his calendar age.

There is no way to tell what Susan is doing here... but it makes me laugh.

Here we all are playing Loaded Questions... this was after a rough game of Train dominoes.

Miss Brooklyn got to participate in all the fun too - what a cutie pie!

Still playing and everyone is eating their last treat before the big family bet started... I made a cheesecake with fresh strawberries for the topping.

Victory

I ate chicken tonight for the first time since surgery!! I didn't have any problems with it either... yippee!! John made a rotisserie chicken, and it was just the right tenderness for me. It was a little sad that it tasted so good, but I couldn't eat much of it - but I'll try to eat a little more again tomorrow or another day this week. I'm a little worried about that though because the doctor said that leftovers could be a problem because things tend to dry out when reheated... we'll see.

I went to the store today, and bought all our groceries for the week - and tomorrow I'm planning on cooking everything for us so that hopefully it will make things easier in the evenings. So I'm making like 5 different meals tomorrow... Most of the recipies are from some cookbooks that I got for Christmas that have weight loss surgery recipies - if they are good - I'll share the book titles and what I made. I'd gladly share the recipies if anyone is interested... just let me know. The items really aren't anything different than what you'd make for normal meals, but they give some instruction on the proper portioning of the meals and things for surgery patients... but all of the meals are things that John and I can enjoy together - just in different portions.

I've got to conquer chewing my food more, eating more slowly, and getting my 64 ounces fluids in daily.

Now for my 2 month measurment changes... (I'm putting in my total inches lost over the 2 months)

Chest - down 5 inches (this makes John sad)
Waist - down 4.5 inches
Hips - down 2.5 inches
Neck - down 1.25 inches
Left Thigh - down 2.25 inches
Right Thigh - down 1 inch
Left Calf - down 1.5 inches
Right Calf - down 1.5 inches
Left Bicep - down 1.5 inches
Right Bicep - down 2 inches
Left Forearm - down 1 inch (these measurements make me laugh)
Right Forearm - down .75 inch (again, who cares about the forearm?)

Grand Total - down 24.75 inches in 8 weeks!

I really feel like this should show more in my clothes... but I'm still wearing things that I wore before surgery for the most part. I am excited to see what happens in the next month with the added benefits of walking, and other workouts. I've taken the last two days off from working out, but am going to ride the bike or drag John out for a walk with the dogs tomorrow...

100 Things about Me

I took this off another blog - she said it was therapeutic, and I'm all for that! Hopefully there is some stuff in there that my parents don't know... I'm sure John will say that he knew it all... but maybe him too.

1. I am very hard on myself - and even sometimes think that I still might not reach my goal of weight loss.


2. In new situations - I am extremely shy.


3. I sometimes hold myself back because I don't like doing things by myself.


4. At the same time - there are things that I do like doing alone. For example: shopping or going to the spa.


5. I feel sorry for people that go to restaurants alone - even though I've done it myself.


6. I love to bake and am good at it. Just ask John about my chocolate chip bundt cake or cheesecake. (Maybe not now though because we can't have it.)


7. I love cooking meals (when I'm in the mood), and enjoy trying new recipies.


8. Since surgery, I am always cold - I even use 3 blankets to keep me warm at night.


9. I haven't had caffeine or carbinated beverages since November 15, 2007.


10. I took 1 day of Russian in college - because someone told me it was an easier language course to take. I guess we all know how that turned out - since I dropped it!


11. I just got an "A" in a math class that I failed in college. I just finished it in December '07.


12. Being creative doesn't always come easily for me. I do better with making things from peices that are already created. (ie: beaded jewelry or scrapbooking)


13. I owned and operated a moderately successful jewelry website for a year and a half before closing it.


14. I am very frugal when it comes to spending money on myself... but always go over budget on gifts for others.


15. I love old-school country music. I really enjoy the stuff from the 70's, 80's, and 90's the best.


16. I also love 80's music in general because I know all the words - I couldn't tell you who is singing 90% of the time though.


17. The shortest length of time I worked at a job was 4 hours. I was working as a telemarketer in Alabama to sell vacuum cleaners - but when they made me clean the bathroom at the end of the night... I quit on the spot.


18. I still feel 15 years old in my head most of the time...


19. I have great ideas in my head, but can't articulate them well.


20. I also do the same thing when fighting - I can really fight well in my head, but can't ever get the words out... so I tend to just shut down and not fight...


21. I sometimes worry that when things are going well - they will come crashing down around me.


22. Weight loss surgery is the best thing I've ever done for myself.


23. I know that some people will always be discusted with me because I have been super morbidly obese, even after I lose the weight.


24. I would love to visit Cape Cod, London, and Italy at some point in the future.


25. I absolutely love visiting New York City and Washington D.C.


26. I love going to see stage productions, and can't wait until I can comfortably sit in a theater and not worry about anything other than the play itself. (Other WLS patients will understand this the most)


27. One of the best weeks of my life was when I was able to go to Guatemala and pick up my new little brother. (I instantly fell in love with him... he is such a sweet soul)


28. I have always wanted to go to Chicago, but haven't ever made it. I was supposed to go on September 12, 2001 - but didn't get to go because of the terrorist attack.


29. I started a new job on September 11, 2001 - but was laid off in January of 2002 (three weeks before my wedding) because they couldn't afford my salary.


30. I was the most calm bride ever, until the music started playing... then I fell apart.


31. I have wanted to be a Mom since I can remember - and I might finally get to see that dream come true in the next couple years.


32. I have also wanted to be a teacher my whole life - I played school until I was WAY to old, and loved looking through teacher edition textbooks as a kid.


33. I hope to be teaching in the fall, but am terrified about it. (I guess that's normal?!)


34. I hated having braces - I wore them for 4 years, but got them off during Christmas break of my freshman year in high school. I don't think they did any good though - they were for straightening my alignment of my jaw... and it's still off.


35. I like staying home instead of going out most of the time.


36. I am taking a course to learn to write children's books/articles


37. I love playing board games, and now train dominoes (thanks Susan & Ryan) but I have to go get a set of those.


38. I am a slow reader - but I love reading...


39. I worry that I'm not intelligent. Mostly in social settings - I worry that I can't keep up with conversation.


40. I can't wait to go back to Disney World as a skinny person... it will be a MUCH more enjoyable experience.


41. I also can't wait to go on the boat when I lose weight - and more importantly ride a tube again...


42. I got to see my dream concert while I was at A&M... I got to see Garth Brooks with Maria thanks to my Dad.


43. I have worked for non-profits for the last 8 years, and have yet to be inspired by a cause I was raising money for.


44. I have managed to work in a job that I loathe for 2 years... waiting for my teaching certificate stuff to work out.


45. I have a really amazingly supportive family (John's family too)... and I'm so thankful for that!


46. I have very strong political beliefs - that are very different now than when I was a teenager.


47. I love computer games like Dining Dash, the Sims, and any sort of simulation game... really games with set progression of things and levels to beat to move on.


48. I want to ride horses again when I lose weight


49. I burn really badly when I got out in the sun... even with sunscreen!


50. I am a magazine freak - I've got subscriptions to: Redbook, Oprah, Real Simple, Weight Watchers, Weight Loss Surgery Lifestyles, and Self... but I need to subscribe to some scrapbooking ones too.


51. I get REALLY excited when I go to the mailbox and a new issue has arrived for me.


52. I currently own around 388 DVD movies... and love them all!


53. I tend to purposely let my favorite television shows record on the DVR so that I can skip through commercials.


54. I almost never wear makeup - but I wore a lot in high school.


55. I have had 5 different supervisors at work since July 2005. (can you tell why I don't like this palce?!)


56. Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University changed my life... and I almost didn't go because I was to shy, but John made me.


57. The funny thing about Financial Peace to me though is that half of the lessons are things that my Dad told me to do when I was in college... I guess you have to pay for advice to really listen to it?!


58. I absolutely love watching reruns of Law & Order... I pretty much leave the television on TNT when there isn't anything else on. Sam Waterston is the best!


59. I really can't stand having to go to a mall, which is funny to me because I loved them in high school.


60. I didn't enjoy college while I was there enough - I couldn't wait to get out... now I wish I could go back to the same situation I had, and really appreciate it knowing what I do now.


61. I desperately miss my old church... it merged into another large church in December, but it's just not the same...


62. I miss seeing two of my favorite couples in the world each week... because they don't go to our new church.


63. I am still in awe of how wonderful my husband was in taking care of me during my surgery and recovery.


64. I miss my maternal grandfather, and paternal grandparents a lot - I don't feel like I had enough time to really get to know them.


65. John and I would love to move to College Station, Texas if we could find jobs... if I start teaching it's not a problem for me... but there is NOTHING for him to do there. It would be ideal for raising kids.


66. I still sometimes walk into my house and think that it can't possibly be mine... and I've lived there since August.


67. I can't always hide my emotions - I'm really transparent, which gets me in trouble sometimes.


68. I tend to send text messages to much when I'm driving - I spend most of my time in heavy traffic though... so I'm barely moving


69. I haven't been in a bathing suit since I was in 6th grade.


70. I love the idea of traveling, but am ALWAYS ready to come home before the end of the trip.


71. John and I went on a road trip through Mississippi the day after hurricane Katrina hit... we had to wait in line for gas for over an hour at one pit stop.


72. The first (and only) college football bowl game we traveled to see - I ended up in the hospital with severe food poisoning the next day. (it's a long story... with lots of drama)


73. The first thing I do when I get home everyday is put on my pajamas... I know that will have to change when we have kids, but I've got at least another year to enjoy it!


74. I am not a fan of going out to do things on weeknights... I hope that this will change when I get a more flexible career without the long commute.


75. I had surgery twice in 2007... it's not that noteable, but what is notable is that my health was vastly improved the second time!


76. I am a big time animal lover, and they dig me too... just ask Jenn about how much her cat, Onyx loved me last Friday night!


77. I stink at guitar hero... although - I've finally semi-mastered the first song on the easy level... it's Slow Ride - and has a very repetative beat to it.


78. My family is very competative... with everything... most most imporantly with games.


79. I have a really hard time buying gifts for people... I want to be able to get the best gift I can for the price I can afford. It always means that I'm shopping last minute.


80. I am humbled by my husband's amazing creativity with his gift giving - I've tried to follow his lead, but can only come up with things he's already done... which isn't any fun for him.


81. When I met John for the first time - he had one green eye and one blue eye...because he only had one contact lense. (did I mention it was like that for months...and he denied it until much later in our relationship!)


82. I get really tired of hearing celebrities' opinions on various issues - I don't think being an actor, singer, or whatever entitles them to be able to spew their views to the rest of us... I don't care what they think.


83. I am really excited that some of my friends from church have decided to walk with me 3 times a week to help with my exercise routine.


84. I am thankful for all the experiences that I have had in my life - they have shaped me into the person that I am today... which I hope is a good person.


85. I struggle with finding time to give to everyone in my life that wants/needs some, and really am scared that it will get worse when I have children.


86. I picked out the name of my first daughter when I was 10 years old.


87. I have been known to get a lot of tickets in my driving career... thank goodness it has been a while... knock on wood!!


88. I managed to survive a semester away from home in Alabama - I was homesick, but had a lot of great times! I made some great friends, but unfortunately lost touch with most of them when I moved home.


89. Even though I did quite a bit of drinking in college - I can't say that I ever enjoyed it. It's been about 8 years since I've had anything like that and don't miss it at all.


90. I cried for 4 days after buying my current car (a Ford Expedition) because it was so big - I couldn't figure out how to park!


91. I can't stand parents that take all of their children to stores, and let them run around crazy. If you're going to take your kids out - at least have the decency to teach them how to act!


92. I wish that both of my parents lived closer to me... my Mom is in Midland, TX and my Dad is in Columbus, OH


93. Flinstones Vitamins don't taste like I remember as a kid - but I guess it could be worse. I have to take two a day... but at least they don't smell like other vitamins.


94. I love taking pictures - I was on the yearbook/newspaper staff in high school... but my favorite to take are of family & friends.


95. I sometimes wish that I would have learned to play a musical instrument as a kid, but it's not that often now.


96. I got my first massage in October of 2005, and LOVED it. I didn't think I would because of the whole no clothes thing... but it is the best thing in the world.... I love being that relaxed.


97. My feet are insanely ticklish, but for some reason it doesn't bother me at all to get a pedicure... and I love getting those too.


98. I actually don't mind, and sometimes enjoy grocery shopping... especially now - when I have the time - I like leisurely strolling through the store trying to find new foods to try.


99. I absolutely love it when it's cold enough for John to build a fire in our fireplace. It is so cozy, and I've really grown to appreciate them now that I'm freezing all the time!


100. Blogging has changed my life. It's given me a place to put my thoughts, meet new friends, and keep family & friends updated on how things are going for John and I.

Whew! That was hard... I wanted to quit at #50, but I kept at it and I think there is some good stuff in there.

John

I stole this off of another blog that I was reading through today. I stole another idea of hers that you'll see either this weekend or maybe tomorrow if things are fairly dead around the office.

1. Who is your man? John Hawkins

2. How long have you been together? Our 6th Wedding anniversary is next month

3. How long dated? Three years.

4. How old is your man? 34

5. Who eats more? Well, we used to go back and forth depending on our hunger, but now - I'd have to say him since I've had weight loss surgery and he hasn't.

6. Who said "I love you" first? He did, but does typing count?! Either way - it was him.

7. Who is taller? John is 5'9", and I am 5'6".

8. Who sings better? Him of course... most people that read my blog have probably heard him.

9. Who is smarter? I think we're equally smart, but he typically has the right answer at the right time... whereas I sometimes don't. He also has a much better long-term memory than I do...

10. Whose temper is worse? John - especially if you mess with someone in his family. I'm more of a mediator.

11. Who does the laundry? Both

12. Who does the dishes? Both

13. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? John sleeps to my left... so me?

14. Who pays the bills? John - he's much better at it than I am.

15. Who has bigger feet? him... thank God!!

16. Who has longer hair? Me

17. Who is better with the computer? We both have strengths with computers - but he's the one that fixes them when needed...

18. Who mows the lawn? John

19. Who cooks dinner? Both

20. Who drives when you are together? John

21. Who pays when you go out? John

22. Who is most stubborn? This one is a toss up...

23. Who is the first to admit when they are wrong? Depends on the situation

24. Whose parents do you see the most? Probably his.

25. Who kissed who first? I think it was mutual

26. Who asked who out? He asked me out - but we've got a long story about how we met and ended up together.

27. Who proposed? John while out to dinner with my Mom

28. Who is more sensitive? Maybe me, but he's pretty sensitive too.

29. Who has more friends? Me

30. Who has more siblings? Me

31. Who wears the pants in the family? It's pretty equal.

Gotta go change and get ready to meet the girls for walk night #2!

Workouts Begin Tonight

So I had every intention of working out last night, but got sidetracked by a friend that needed me. I wasn't to worried about it thought because I had been in a great discussion with Tasha about wanting to work out together. We decided to include some of the other fabulous ladies from our old church & our new church too (Jenn, Tasha, Staci, Sarah, and Dawn - when she can) - we all have moved together... anyway - we're all going to start walking together on Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday nights... so we start tonight at 6. We'll be walking at a middle school near our houses, and will start out with 30 minutes... and if we want to add more - we can do that as time progresses.

I will try to fit in other workouts as I can with my bike, pilates DVD, and my two Biggest Loser DVD's too. So hopefully this will help my progress!!

On another note - I've been trying to get more water in on a daily basis - yesterday didn't go well, but today I've gotten 3/4 of the 64 ounces in... so tomorrow we'll try for the full 64 ounces!

My Reward System

This is my reward system set up by John as part of my Christmas. I'm already due for #'s 1&2... and on my way to #3!! Only 10 more pounds to go and I'm getting scrapbook stuff :-) I wonder what happens if the item I want/need isn't under $30... guess I'll have to interject some of my fun money for the month.

Reward #1 – 301 – High Fives to You! You will relax and enjoy a manicure while you celebrate your accomplishment.

Reward #2 – 286 – 10 Toes of Success! You will relax and enjoy a pedicure while you celebrate your accomplishment.

Reward #3 – 271 – Kraft Kim! You will enjoy buying $30 worth of scrap booking items to help expand your weight loss journal.

Reward #4 – 256 - Shirts A Plenty! Treat yourself to two new shirts while you celebrate your accomplishment.

Reward #5 – 241 – Pull Up Those Pants! Treat yourself to two new pairs of pants while you celebrate your accomplishment.

Reward #6 – 226 – Movie & Makeup! You will first go to the mall for a makeover and then buy, rent or go to the movie of your choice.

Reward #7 – 211 – To The TOP! Off you go to the beauty salon to get that new hair style you have been wanting. Don’t forget to reminisce about your most recent accomplishment.

Reward #8 – 196 – Get Into the Kitchen! You will enjoy buying $50 worth of kitchen gadgets, cook books, etc. that go along with your new lifestyle. WHOO HOO, you’re in the 100’s!

Reward #9 – 181 – Workout Wardrobe! You will enjoy buying a new workout suit so that you can tone in style.

Reward #10 – 166 – This Girl Gets Around! You will enjoy buying a new pair of shoes that will help get you around town.

Reward #11 – 151 – Kim Needs Some Bling Bling! You will enjoy a $50 shopping spree to Charming Charlies!

Reward #12 – 150 – Look out America’s Next Top Model, here I come. You will enjoy a $1000 shopping spree while you celebrate all the hard work that has been put into reaching your goal!

I can't wait to enjoy all of these!!

Sitting with a Sweet Baby

Today I took the day off to help my friend Sarah take care of Abby. Poor Abby has been sick off and on since the begining of December - and even had to stay in the hospital with RSV, pnemonia, thrush, and a secondary infection that they couldn't identify. Well - she recovered from that before Christmas and was able to enjoy the holidays... but last weekend - she caught the flu which progressed back into pnemonia. Apparently, the doctor says that once you get viral pnemonia in a season - it's really easy to catch it again that same season. ARG! Poor kid has been through so much!!

Anyway - I offered to take the day because with Sarah being a teacher - she is running out of days to be able to take off... which means that she'd have to go without pay. No good for a young couple trying to make ends meat to take care of their baby... so since I get paid for my days off as long as I have the time built up... I thought that I'd lend a hand.

Abby is the sweetest little thing, no matter what... she just plays and is happy. We had a good day... and followed her Mom's schedule to the letter... I sincerely pray that she'll be feeling better tonight and tomorrow so that she can go back to her daycare and have everything fall back into her normal routine.

On another note, I'm feeling like a little bit of a fraud - I still haven't started my workout routine... but I have all good intentions of doing it... does chasing a 13 month old around all day count as a workout?! Probably not, but I am planning on starting tomorrow evening... at least with riding the bike. The other workout programs might have to wait until weekends for now... until I figure out how they will fit into my overall program.

Small Victory

Today while working around the house - I typically wear PJ's, but couldn't find any clean ones... so I decided to try something that I haven't tried since the surgery. I put on a pair of shorts... and they FIT!! They are a pair of shorts that I bought 2 years ago when I was doing a program called Medifast, and had lost 40 pounds... I'm about 4 pounds shy of that loss this time, but such a fabulous feeling! And I've done it in a little under 7 weeks - instead of the 5 months that it took me last time!

Bailey Christmas Pictures

Here are some pictures from hosting the Bailey Family's Christmas celebration for 2007.

My neice Taylor, (yes we have two) and her pinata that she made.

Taylor and my sister Cindy (her Mom) coloring in her Hello Kitty coloring book.

Taylor's Dad, Robert, preparing for a run. He's training for a triathalon in March.

From left: neices Megan and Taylor, brother - Josh, sister - Gabby, and neice - Brittany.

Stocking time - Taylor checks out her goodies.

Megan gets a digital camera!

From left: My sister, Cathi and my step-mom Lynne... my sister, Gabby, is helping Lynne.

John gets his new miter saw - now he's got to find something to actually use it on.

Pinata time!! Gabby gets the first hits because she's the smallest.

Taylor goes second...

Josh busts it!! Sorry Megan & Brittany - you guys just get some candy.

Bowl game time!! from left: Gabby, Robert, Cindy, Taylor... and an American Girl doll.

Gabby and Taylor are having a great time - doing what?? We don't know.

Cindy brought a new game called Apples to Apples... it was really a fun game!

Gabby spent the night with us on Saturday night - so this is just after breakfast. Gabby fixed her hair for breakfast..."just like Mommy does" (not quite. HA)

Priceless sister moment - no fighting... Brittany and Megan look so happy and cute!

from left: Cindy, Cathi, Dad, and Cathi's husband - Kevin.

Big family photo - Top from left: Robert, Cindy, John, Kim, Dad, Cathi, Kevin, and Lynne. Bottom from left: Taylor, Brittany, Gabby, Josh, and Megan.

The kids - from left: Josh, Brittany, Gabby, Taylor, and Megan.

Cindy, Robert, and Taylor head back to Dallas...

While Cathi, Kevin, Megan, Brittany, and Lynne go shopping... Josh, Gabby, Dad, and I stay home to rest... Josh & Dad built a dog/reindeer... it changed species several times.

Gabby built a house all by herself.

My guitar hero, and Josh - the future guitar hero!