4 Days?

Seriously? Where did the holiday weekend go?

We've spent time with lots of family, time with our church friends - new and old... and lots of food. Tonight I even enjoyed a salad so much - it might have bordered on obscene. It was the best food item I've had in a week - there has been so much stuff made with butter, cream, and what ever else makes up a holiday meal. So a nice clean tasting greek salad really hit the spot.

My hero, I mean husband, changed the oil in my car today - I've never seen that done at home before, but he did it with a different kind of oil this time so that we'll only have to change it every 15,000 miles. That means that it'll almost go a year before we'll need to do it again. How cool is that?!

Tonight, we've been doing some internet shopping for Christmas and now are watching a movie. It's a movie we've seen before, but it's nice to just sit back for a little bit and relax.

I'm not looking forward to the alarm going off in the morning - that is always such a RUDE way to wake up after you've been off for a few days... but it'll be here before I know it and then it's back to the grind.

Another Busy Day

Whew... I'm trying to catch my breath once again. In all seriousness... it has been a great holiday weekend, but it's hard to believe that I've already burned through three days of it!

This morning, one of my cousins, who really was more like a brother growing up because we spent quite a bit of time together. Anyway, his family was 3 miles away from us for the weekend visiting his wife's sister - and they made sure to stop by with their 3 kiddos this morning before they left town.

Philip and Julie are in a lot of ways similar to John and I - at least in our Christian beliefs. Philip and Jule also tend to sit on the sidelines of family drama, like John and I... and in a lot of cases wonder what the fuss is really all about.

We got to spend a good hour chatting with them while their wonderful kids played quietly on the floor - it was lovely.

After the visit with their family, we headed out to do our weekly shopping - groceries, dog food, oil change supplies, and the like... but the dreaded Christmas season trip to Wal-Mart wasn't quite as bad as it has been in the past. We made it through with good time.

We had a couple of hours between shopping and our next scheduled event, so I made our holiday gift buying budget in order to get some serious online shopping done tomorrow... and on Monday - since it's Cyber Monday... I have yet to see any ads come through my email showing and discounts for Monday, but I've heard a lot of hype about it.

We then had set up for church tonight, since we're having church in the facilities of the church that we are hopefully merging with - we were able to do a lot of the morning prep work tonight. I took lots of pictures for our church memories, and will be doing the same in the morning as well. It's such a neat time in the history of our church - I don't want to miss documenting a single minute of it.

The vote on if we'll be going forward with the merge happens tomorrow afternoon as well, and we're all very excited about it. John and I voted last Sunday at the town hall meeting, but will be praying that God will lead the outcome of the vote to be whatever his will is for us. After this second merger - some of our friends from our other church have suggested that John and I start a church merger consulting business. HA! (Not likely... but it is funny that we'll now have gone through this process twice in a year.)

The exciting difference this time is that the pastor at our church is taking extra care to make this merger a positive thing for the members of the other church. It has truly been inspiring to hear the things that he wants to do in order to create an environment of unity, and to make sure that the members of the church don't lose any part of the history of the two congregations... and that we have special reminders of this time in our history when we became one unified body of Christ.

We're having a luncheon after our service tomorrow so that we can have the ability to start getting to know each other, and I've made our contribution to the pot luck tonight as well. So we're all ready for tomorrow - but I'm not doing a SINGLE thing tomorrow afternoon other than shopping on the internet... and maybe a nap!

Good Times

Today has been fabulous, and very busy. We went to my sister's in Brenham, and had a great day of football, food, Christmas list writing - editing - and critiquing... and then more eating. We got home shortly after 9, and have more company coming by in the morning... so I've got some cleaning to get done before bed. So I'm stopping by to say "Hi" to all my readers (yes all three of you) tonight, and I promise to give you some more to read a little later in the weekend.

I hope that your holiday weekend has gone well, and if you went out to brave the shopping - that you were successful. I did not brave the stores this morning - or at any other point in the day today, but I am excited about finding some deals via internet shopping later on in the weekend. Bring it on... free shipping... sales... I'm ready!

Almost Wordless

I'm so tired, and happy today - I thought that I'd put up some pictures from our day.

The Hawkins women


Brooklyn had a small leakage problem on her Daddy's lap

The desserts - a WLS patient's nightmare, but I managed to make it through the day without dumping!

This is the food table... okay - yes there is a turkey, ham, and a chicken... and only 6 adults, 1 child, and a toddler...

Carving the turkey...

Putting the finishing touch on the Christmas tree

My hot husband... :-)

Doing a little singing and dancing

Playing horse with Ryan

Taylor making Mrs. Santa Claus' Christmas cookies... it's a recipe from one of her Christmas books. (She wanted to make sure that I told you it was Mrs. Claus' recipe)

Brooklyn playing in the "kitchen" (it's really a closet) and enjoying the day

Tomorrow we're off to my sister's house... so expect some more pictures from that.

Hysterical

Ok, so sometimes - my humor is pretty bad... but honestly... this is the funniest thing I've ever read. I might have to try some of these!!

Go here, but make sure you're not drinking anything that you might spit across the room.

Come back and tell me which ones were your favorites... I'm still thinking about which were mine.

Music Monday - Late Again

I guess that things are getting out of hand for me if I can't even make my own series work on the day that it's intended... but can I get some sympathy because family drama pretty much wiped out my day yesterday. On top of that - I pretty much had a serious sugar attack... which I got teased about at work today.

So in light of all of that - this song just makes me happy... and actually you're getting a bonus video - because it was so dang cute!

I'm very sorry to Shirley Temple who really performed the song well... and also for the rudeness at the end of the video... but can I just tell you guys that the dog in the video made me laugh out loud and I really needed that today!

This little girl is so freaking cute that I just had to give you a bonus video... click here because it won't let me have the code to post it.

I don't know what it is about this song, but it has always made me smile... which brightens my day on so many levels. In all honesty, I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed by the holidays and the amount of shopping and stuff I've got to get done in a very limited time frame.

It truly snuck up on me this year, which is sad to say because it's not like I didn't know it was coming... or like I haven't known for a while that we'll be traveling this year - it's just that it feels wrong to me to start planning for Christmas in October. Maybe next year we'll start decorating then, like the stores... and we'll be plenty prepared when December rolls around.

There are people on our street that have had their outside decorations out for like 2 1/2 weeks!! Honestly... isn't that a bit early? I'll bet they aren't feeling the stress that I am though.

The ladies at my office have now gotten to know me a bit, and apparently they find me very funny. They've coined the phrase "Kimisms" around the office. One of their favorites is when they are on deadline or say a project changes at the last minute and we all have to scramble... and maybe they come to me to complain or something - and I'll just look at them very seriously and say "Love that!" or "That's my FAVORITE!"... somehow that cracks them up.

At lunch today - which they thought it was hilariously funny that I only ordered water... but hey - I'd already eaten the soup I brought with me at the office.... so I was full. But while we were there - we were talking about the holidays, and I told them about lobbying for John to hire someone to put up our lights... because really - wouldn't that be as cool for him as getting a cleaning-lady is for me?! Then I took it a step further and said that I'd love to hire someone to come fluff our fake Christmas tree... they just rolled over that one... does anyone out there feel my pain though?!

With only two weekends really to shop... and parties galore... when am I going to decorate? When am I going to find time to get gifts for everyone? When am I going to write my now famous Hawkins Family Christmas Newsletter? (Shout out to Tess!!) When am I going to find a dress for my grandmother's birthday party? (Don't get me started about wrapping said gifts... or actually ENJOYING the season!)

Ok, well - I'm going to curl up in the fetal position now and lull myself to sleep...

Thanksgiving Luncheon Update

Well, I went back... I thought I made wise choices, but somewhere along the way - I got a little too much sugar. My goodness ya'll - I've found a new way that I could use toothpicks... can I stand them on end and try to keep my eyes open?! My goodness - I've never in my life fought this hard to stay awake...

I'm slightly dizzy too - so I'm sure it's some form of dumping syndrome... and I've always heard that the best treatment is to eat something with protein... but I honestly can't eat another thing right now... so I guess I sit here in my cube and suffer. ARG! That's the last time I eat dessert at a pot-luck... even things that look healthy can contain hidden triggers that set off the most well intended buffet guests.

*** Updated - here I sit one hour later and my GOODNESS!! I can't even get my brain to connect with my hands enough to type correctly. Thank God for spell check! I'm working on drinking lots of water to flush my system... but GEEZ! I wonder if I accidentally got a hold of something spiked with alcohol at this point... but probably not. ARG!

Did I mention that I'll never eat a buffet dessert again?! Doesn't that sort of sound like someone after experiencing their first hangover? HA!

Interesting Place

Today, we're having our office Thanksgiving pot luck luncheon... in the past I've been in offices where everyone is very similar to me, and that meant that I saw all the things I typically see at my family's Thanksgiving meal on the buffet table.

This year - I work in a VERY multi-cultural environment, and some of the items on the buffet are unique. Please don't take this as me complaining - not at all - I think it's very cool... and an interesting way that all of our cultures can blend into one.

I just went through the line, and can I just say that first of all - it's always fun to see the executive team in chef shirts going the extra mile for their employees. The second thing I noticed in the room were all the different cultures represented in the food... we had bar-b-que, Korean bar-b-que pork, fried rice, tamales, charro beans, and I haven't even looked at the dessert table yet! I'm planning on going back in an hour or so to see if there is anything I can have... I might only be able to eat the dessert I brought that is sugar-free, but even with that - I'll be happy! (When you've got diet restrictions - I've found it best to make things that you can eat, and then be cautious about the rest)

Overall, it's been a very pleasant experience, and it's always fun to see what everyone else brings! Provided that they make something and don't just pick it up from the grocery store... I once had a boss that told everyone that they weren't allowed to bring anything that wasn't homemade... HA!

It's been a Day

I'm not even sure where the time went today... I didn't make it to church because I wasn't feeling well. I ended up staying home, which one would think means that I'd have slept through most of the day in order to get well... but that didn't exactly happen.

I made the jello salad for my office Thanksgiving luncheon tomorrow... I cleaned the kitchen... made John some lunch... relaxed for a while... got our Christmas lists sent to all three families... went to a town hall meeting at church, and here I am now trying to digest the first part of my dinner before I eat the second part.

The big 2 hour 24 is one tonight, and I think John is intent on watching it. So that'll be the rest of our evening... how is it that a weekend is gone in the blink of an eye? I am starting to stress out about Christmas already - I guess I just don't feel as prepared this year as I normally do... maybe it's the lack of energy that I'm dealing with right now - or maybe it's just a general feeling.

It sure does seem to me that Thanksgiving is late this year, and I'm missing a week of the holiday season... I'm sure that's not the case, but I'm feeling it! We've got things planned with our church growth group for at least one weekend in December - and we're leaving earlier than normal because of my Grandmother's birthday party... so I just feel very pressed to get everything done.

It'll all work out as it's supposed to be, but in the meantime - I just pray that I can make it through the holiday season feeling well, and truly enjoy the moment. Things will be so different this year - last year I wasn't eating solid foods... and hadn't lost any real weight yet... so this year I've got to worry about what I eat, and how much - at least a little more than I did last year. I sincerely hope to make it through this week without making myself sick - or gaining any weight.

If anything better happens - like I lose weight or anything like that - praise God!

Baby, It's Cold Outside

It's finally getting cold down here in the armpit of the world... only kidding, I really do love Texas, but we just don't have seasons down here... we have HOT, REALLY HOT, and winter lasts for about 4 weeks... which means that it's in the 50's and 60's for our daily high.

That being said - I am not as accommodating with the temperatures anymore... I get cold REALLY easily... and Missy does too. So this is how she spent most of the day today.

Oh, ya'll... she's a mess. She certainly feels pretty and extra spunky in her sweater... but I think she stayed toasty warm today too... and enjoyed a relaxing day at home with John and I.

Pretty much the only thing I've done other than read magazines, cook, blog, and watch football today was to go to the grocery store. I love days like this more than anything else... and today it was a much needed treat.

I talked to my friends at the pharmacy today as well - I used to be a frequent flyer there, and they've known me by name for several years... but I don't shop in the store anymore unless I need prescriptions - because I've been moved into shopping at Wal-Mart for our groceries ever since I got laid off in May. All that to say that the actual main pharmacist hasn't seen me since my surgery - and she was really excited to see me today.

I asked for her help on my allergy issues that have been hanging on for about a month... a box of Benadryl, a bottle of Children's Claritin, and some Day-Quil haven't done a thing for me... so she gave me something else to try. We talked a lot about the problems that those of us post Gastric Bypass face with medications not being absorbed in our systems if they are given in pill form...

I pray that this new medicine helps me so that I don't have the constant nagging cough and drainage that I've been dealing with lately.

Hungry Girl Tips

Gobble, Gobble!

A few quick Turkey Day tips...

• Try to get a cardio session in before the big meal. It'll crank up your metabolism so you'll have some extra calories to spare. Even if you don't have time for a full workout, add some exercise throughout the day whenever you can -- take the stairs instead of the elevator or offer to walk the neighbor's dog. Maybe you can even start a new holiday tradition of going for a pre-feast walk around the neighborhood.
  
  
• Turkey is awesome! Load up on the white meat and stay away from the skin, and you'll be in full-on feast mode! Plus you'll be taking in lots of lean protein, which'll fill you up without weighing you down.
  
  
• Drink TWO glasses of water before you sit down to eat. It'll help keep that appetite in check.
  
  
• Take a minute to survey the table before you start spooning things onto your plate. What are your favorites? Wha t falls into the "just not worth it" category? If you're TRULY trying to be good, don't sample everything just to be polite. But make sure you get some of your favorites (you ARE celebrating!) and balance them out with basic, lighter options as well. The keyword for the day is MODERATION. Don't deprive yourself! Just don't stuff yourself silly either. Have a happy holiday!

Judgement & Lessons Learned

There has been a lot of talk in my little circle of Weight Loss Surgery friends lately about what we're willing to share about our successes with the outside world... I am VERY open about my successes and failures - but that's also when I'm mainly cloaked in the anonymity of the blog world.

My friend Meghan had this to say recently about her experience... Here and the follow up message is Here. Then just yesterday, Jil had an experience that is nothing less than disheartening to those of us that have chosen weight loss surgery as our path... Here.

I wrap all this up with our message from last night's Bible study lesson... it was about speaking the truth in love to one another... and basically it's all about the way in which you say things, your motives, and then the way that your message is delivered to the recipient.

We all know how cruel this world can be a times, and sometimes the people that are the closest to us are the most hurtful - even when it's unintentional. Once those words are out there - you can't ever take them back... and sometimes recovery from that just never happens. In the case of what Jil experienced - if I were in the same situation, I don't know that I'd ever be able to carry on a normal relationship with the person that wronged her again.

Sure, I could be the bigger person - and move on - forgive if you will, but do you ever let that person back in as close as they were before? I'm not so sure.

The heart is an interesting part of us, don't you think? As I look back at my own life... there have been many people that have hurt or wronged me over the years, but each one of those moments has shaped me into the person that I am today... and for that - I thank each and every one of those people for their part in my life's story.

Every break up, lost friend... whatever the moment was that caused me pain - also caused me to learn a lesson of some sort, and led me down a path that has also brought me great joy too. Think about it, if you hadn't lost your first love... you wouldn't have experienced the moment of meeting your future spouse. (Unless they are one in the same - which for most of us isn't the case.) Somehow, I've gotten way off the topic that I thought I was writing about when I started this post...

To bring it back to Meg & Jil and their recent experiences - I have been very lucky so far in my journey through weight loss surgery. I have been very open in every avenue of my life about what I've done and what I'm going through... maybe it's different because the weight loss hasn't been as rapid for me has it has for others... but I haven't experienced anyone feeling anything other than happiness for my weight loss.

Occasionally at my last office, I'd hear grumblings about it being easier for me than for others to lose weight because of the path that I chose... but in all honesty - those people are jealous, and it's their way of justifying their own weight loss failures to themselves. I've done it a time or two in my life too - now - I chose to keep those feelings between myself and maybe John... but there have been times when I've been jealous for whatever reason and lashed out in my own emotions.

The difference is that I would NEVER say that to the person or to anyone else... because really it's a moment when God is trying to teach me about being content in the season of life that he's put me in, and learning whatever lesson I'm meant to learn from that season... some are harder to learn than others, but in the end - it shapes me into the person that I am supposed to be.

So why can't we all just embrace the successes of those around us? Maybe the lady in Jil's story needs to spend some time watching the videos our group has been watching over the last 4 weeks... she might learn a lot about what it means to love people around you... and get closer to God.

Another Wave

I'm so sorry - I intended to sit down today/tonight and write something meaningful and insightful for you to read - but well, small group night is hard for me to fit everything in... and this week is crazy at work... and if that isn't enough - I ALMOST forgot to put in my benefits elections before the deadline... so the last hour since our small group ended has been John and I going through my benefits and selecting the things that we want/need.

So with that being said, my friends... I miss ya'll, and promise to write something good tomorrow... I'll think about it all day while I work and I'll come up with a good topic to cover when I get home.

In the meantime - just know that I'm reading your blogs faithfully, each morning and it provides me with entertainment, spirituality, and friendship in the early morning hours when I arrive at work... at least until I can gear up to get some things done.

Different Much?

Today's event went well, but seriously - I didn't know that my clock had a 4:30 AM! I was downtown at 10 to 6, and like my fellow coworkers - had to break into the parking garage of our venue in order to get into the building at our call time.

Sometimes my department at work makes me laugh, and think of one of my favorite songs from my Sesame Street days - (yes, a song from when I was really young)... a quick Google search gave me this video of that song. It's not exactly how I remembered it, but then again there wasn't an Internet or You Tube back then... so this is probably how it has morphed over the years.

I sometimes feel like the one that is "not like the others" in my office... there are 7 people in our department, and this is the make up:

6 women

1 man

1 Jewish person

1 Christian person (that I know of)

1 Lesbian

6 liberals

1 conservative

5 married people
2 single people

4 Caucasians

1 African American

1 Hispanic

1 tree hugger

4 parents

6 drinkers

1 non-drinker

5 people that live within 10 miles of the office

2 that live over 25 miles away from the office

I think you get the picture, but for such a diverse group of people - I've never seen a "team" come together like we do when we need to. I use quotes around that word because in my past work experience - it has only been a concept that was thrown around by management, but never something that was actually achieved.

I sometimes feel like a complete odd-ball when it comes to hanging out with these people, and never more so than when we were released from the office today. Our boss let us go at 3 because of our hard work, and long day... and everyone in our department except me went to have happy hour together. They tried their best to convince me to go, but in all honesty - I've never been really comfortable with people drinking with their coworkers. It just doesn't present an overall professional image to me... and being that I don't/can't drink anyway - I just opted to come home and get things ready for my church small group meeting tomorrow night. Not to mention that I desperately want to get to bed as early as humanly possible tonight.

Okay, and speaking about the fact that I'm the only conservative person in my office that I know of - I can pretty safely guess that I'm the only one that just got off the phone with the Republican Majority campaign... hysterical phone call... (how do I get sucked into these things?!) The first question out of the box is "How do you feel about the outcome of the recent election?" - can you imagine the answers they are getting? All I could do was laugh... I mean seriously? You know what types of people you're calling... what do you think?

Not to mention that it always makes me wonder how they build those call lists - because I've never given money to any candidate... never registered to vote in a primary... so how in the world do they know that I'd be receptive to their call?

In the end they wanted money - and I wasn't willing to make a commitment without John being home to talk it over... but I think they put us down for $10 and are sending us a letter to decide if we want to give more... yeah - sure... I don't know - sometimes John surprises me, but I just don't think that it's very likely that we'll have more than $10 extra bucks going into the Christmas season...

Quick Wave

Well, tonight about all I have time for is a quick wave to all my lovely internets... because I have to be back at work in just 8 short hours. Yes, my friends - I have to report downtown at 6 AM for an event that my office is hosting. So that means that I've got to get up by 4:30-4:45 in order to get out of the house by 5:20... sound like fun?! Anyone want to come?

Whew - this has been a whirlwind of a day - worked late, took us an hour and a half to get home... 20 minutes to pick up dinner, helped John make two dishes for his work Thanksgiving luncheon... now it's time for bed.

I promise to be back tomorrow - but I can only hope that someone in the executive team at our office springs for Starbucks or something to keep us all awake - or well, really I'll just pray that they let us leave work sometime mid-afternoon! Only because I've got lots more cooking to do tomorrow night...

Good night all!! Wish me luck in the morning!

Music Monday 3

In honor of completing my first year post-surgery, and the goals that I still have to strive to achieve. This song springs to mind, and brings a little more of my roots to light... because in some small way - I'm a country girl at heart!



Ok, I have to first admit that John picked the video out - and I've actually never seen Smokey and the Bandit. But the song does fit... because the words... "We gonna do what they say can't be done. We've got a long way to go and a short time to get there"... ring so true.

I've come a long way, but I still have a long way to go... and well, in my mind a short time to get there. I am trying to learn the art of letting the timing not get me down, but as we embark on year two post surgery... I hope to keep on truckin!

One Year

Well, this has been another CRAZY busy weekend, and well - when I wasn't running around... I was sleeping. Honestly - I've napped at least twice this weekend - as this cold crud is kicking my butt again. (Swell, just in time for a busy work week!)

So the official stats for the first year are:

87 pounds lost
29.4 points lost in my BMI ratio

10 inches lost in my chest
13.5 inches in my waist
10.5 inches in my hips
2.25 inches in my neck
5 inches in my left thigh
4.25 inches in my right thigh
3.5 inches in each of my calves
4.5 inches in each bicep
2 inches in each forearm
65.5 total inches over my entire body...

And without further delay - the visual images everyone has been waiting for...

Celebration

In order to properly celebrate my first year after surgery - I decided to have a game night party... but I was in denial a little too long, and didn't think about it until Tuesday. So the only people that were able to come were our friends from Right Foot Forward.

We played a couple of different games, and in the course of one of those games - I flipped the dice into my iced tea glass. So then it became a joke about me chugging the tea to get the dice out of the cup. Well - I got to tickled about it, and lets just say that iced tea came shooting out of my nose all over the dining room.

So here are the pictures John got of the evening...

Me cleaning up the carpet... (nice)

K - showing his approval of John's photo essay.

Still laughing about the moment...

We had a good time despite the crazy antics - and as always - we enjoy spending time with our friends. It's such a treat to have another couple that we enjoy hanging out with!!

Technical Difficulties

Due to some technical difficulties - we're going to have to wait until tomorrow to see the official pictures and stats on my first year post weight loss surgery. I'm sorry guys - but our main hard-drive crashed, and John is having to work backwards to get the pictures done in the side by side view that we love so much.

Believe me - it'll be worth waiting for, and there might be stories from tonight about choking - and someone might have shot iced tea out their nose during a heated game of Trivial Pursuit. (Yes, it was me... but I'll explain later!)

For now - I've taken my Benadryl, and I'm ready for bed... we've got to be at church early tomorrow - so I need to get some rest.

Seriously, I got nothing...

Ok, tonight is going to be a short one (or maybe just random - I say short so often and then end up writing quite a bit once I get going!)... this has been a long day, and I'm honestly ready for bed. I started my day by getting my fasting blood work done for my doctors appointment on December 4th. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal - except it took 45 minutes for them to get 22 vials of blood out of me... 22!

So after having the life taken out of me - I could finally eat... and for some reason I was famished today... I had three meals before 1, and then another at 2 and another at 5... which really isn't that bad, but I just couldn't get satisfied - and it's been a long time since I've truly been scavenging around for food. (At least that is one benefit of being in an office rather than at home!)

I talked John into going out to dinner tonight, and boy - that didn't go as well as it could have. We tried a new mexican restaurant (for us), and John was less than impressed. Overall it wasn't bad, but I've had better in terms of the actual meal... but something went haywire in me with the chips and salsa... I went nuts! Now, that's relative because I can't exactly eat as much as some people... BUT I ate a lot of it... and I don't even like salsa... what's up with that?!

I think I ate a total of 5 bites of my meal... but the waiters couldn't figure out that I was done - so we sat there for a while waiting for them to realize that I wasn't "still working" on eating. We got out of there, and I immediately crashed on the couch in a mexican food coma for a couple of hours...

The sad thing is that I'm now ready to go to bed for the night!! Oh how this allergy/sinus thing is kicking my butt!! I seriously feel like my 70 pound lab is sitting on my chest right now... and I have a cough that sounds like a smoker... NICE! I'm praying that a good night's sleep without an alarm waking me up in the morning will do the trick!

Hormones & PCOS

A few months back, I posted for everyone to pray for a friend of mine that might have been diagnosed with Lupus or MS... and in the end she didn't have either condition - she has severe PCOS.

Why does this matter?

Well, I have it too - and I was diagnosed when I was 18 years old. Now, a couple of factors have allowed this problem to go on for this long... 1) I was a kid, and subsequently didn't know that I needed to address this real health problem; 2) 12 years ago doctors didn't know as much about the problem and the effect it would have on a body long term; and 3) I was possibly in a little bit of denial.

What is PCOS you ask?

PCOS is the most common endocrine disorder effecting women of reproductive age. 6-10% of all premenopausal women and approximately 70-90% of women will irregular menstrual cycles have this problem. (I'm not sure about the 10% deal - because I know A LOT of women with this problem!) Symptoms include: irregular/erratic periods, infertility, excessive body & facial hair, acne, obesity, and male-pattern hair loss. Not all patients have every symptom - like with other illnesses, but it is certainly worth having your doctor check into them!

PCOS causes women to stop ovulating appropriately and even cause a higher rate of miscarriage after receiving a positive pregnancy test.

They have now figured out that there are direct correlations to PCOS patients having type 2 diabetes, hyperinsulinemia, insulin resistance, dyslipidemia, and hypertension... at least four of the five of those problems were on my list of reasons to have weight loss surgery in the first place! More staggering is to find out that 60% of women with PCOS demonstrate some degree of impaired glucose tolerance as a result of insulin resistance... wow... if we had only known 12 years ago... maybe could have done something... who knows?!

(Anyone super interested in learning more overall about PCOS - click here - to find an 8 page article from a doctor I want to use that explains it, and will be helpful in educating yourself.)

Treatments for PCOS are:

1. Weight Loss
2. Hormonal Manipulations
3. Surgical Treatments
4. Steroid Supplementation
5. Spironolactone
6. Insulin Sensitizing Medications (Metformin being the most popular with Avandia running second)

My friend, Sarah, met with this doctor a month or so ago - and has new hope and treatment options that she's never had before.

My personal goal is when I meet with my regular doctor on December 4th to talk to him about getting a referral to go see this new specialist... and to take John with me so we can absorb as much information as possible. I'd really like to start our family in the next year (read 2009), and I think this doctor might be key in doing that.

He is the first doctor that I've personally ever researched that has a clinical interest in PCOS itself, and I know what a difference it was having a primary care doctor with a clinical interest in weight loss surgery and weight loss in general. It has made all the difference in the world. This new specialist also is a professor - like my primary care physician - which is also a key in finding exceptional care.

Since the learning process hasn't stopped for them - and they are working to teach the doctors of tomorrow - they seem to be much more aware of what works versus what doesn't... as well as new information that is vital to solving such problems.

All of this was basically to tell you guys that I've got new hope - and honestly - if this problem hasn't corrected itself with my weight loss up to now... maybe that is a barrier that I need to have looked into, and can work with both of these doctors to move forward with both my weight loss as well as starting a family.

Hope is a beautiful thing!

52 Weeks Ago...

So my official anniversary is on Saturday, but I just wanted to take a moment and point out that exactly 52 weeks ago - I was in pre-op getting ready for the biggest change my body may ever make...

I was completely at peace with my decision, excited even... and ready to embark on all that weight loss surgery could do to change my life.

I woke up sometime around 1 PM feeling pretty good actually, and with a dent in my tummy... which was sort of weird. John, My Mom and a family friend were there by my side, and that first day was really pretty easy.

The second day was a whole different story.... but you can go back to my posts from last November to read about that...

I just was on my way in this morning and realized that it was actually 52 weeks ago today that my life changed! So I felt like I needed to acknowledge it today, and on Saturday - I'll try to post some new before/after pics (even though we're still a work in progress) as well as how my measurements have changed over the last year.

Happy Thursday!

Lingering

You know, I had a pretty powerful experience yesterday writing about all of the changes that have come into my life over the last year... and part of me wants to linger over those for another day...

It wasn't exactly my intention to post all of that for kudos from anyone - it was a way for me to process through the last year's worth of craziness.

This has been a very powerful year in my life, and I am honestly just starting to realize that it has been a year. You know how as you get older - the time passes so quickly, but at the same time it all blends together?

In so many ways it feels like I just had my weight loss surgery a month or so ago, but in reality it has been 363 days since that day. It has only begun to sink in... and I need a little time to get it all processed through the old thick skull that I've got on my shoulders.

It sometimes takes me a while to completely comprehend all the events of my life, and often enough I don't realize the benefits or lessons I'm learning until well after the time has past... so I'm taking an extra day to reflect on yesterday's post.

Sorry for the lack of interesting blog post tonight for those of you that already read the post, but for those of you that didn't - please go here.

Tomorrow, I hope to be able to post some information about some things I'm looking into doctor wise - and explain some things that I've dealt with in the past that doctors are now figuring out more and more about everyday. (This post is coming - but tomorrow is small group day... so if I don't get it done while I'm at work - it might be Friday before I get all my research together.)

Music Monday

I'm a day late and a dollar short on this one, but better late than never - right? When I committed to myself to write a weekly series, I had no idea what would come out of it - but in some ways it has already become therapeutic.

For this week, I've been forced to look at my life over the last 12 months. The craziness that has come has been nothing short of a roller-coaster, but as always - God has gotten me through to this point.

I'm going to put the song up front today because I have so much to say about what is going on in my life right now, and to tell you the honest truth - I haven't heard this song as of yet. I've got to give credit to John for finding a song that matched up in his opinion with the subject matter that I wanted to write about this week... so you guys will more than likely hear the actual music before I do. (No sound on work computer)

Robbie Seay Band -...

Robbie Seay Band - Love Wins

So for not having heard the song, but only reading the lyrics... these words strike a chord with me right now "Can't stop, you can't stop the seasons. Don't stop, don't stop believing" and let me tell you why.

For the last 12 months, I have embarked on a journey that has led me through 12 months of constant change. Let me show you how in the easiest way I know:

• Weight Loss Surgery - the decision took about a year to come to fruition, but it was not easy by any means and the process was nothing short of the biggest mental roller-coaster that I've ever experienced.
  
  
• Church Merger - about two days after my weight loss surgery, we found out that our church home was being closed and merged in with a large church in the area. This was a very emotional process for me because Fellowship of Houston at the time was the only church home that I'd ever known, and for lack of better words - at the time I felt like an orphan... and felt like I'd lost part of the support system that I needed to get through the recovery from surgery.
  
  
• Finding a new Church Family - a month or so after the closure of Fellowship of Houston we found a new church home that believe me in many ways has become such a part of who John and I are. I know that it's not as much about the church as it is having a relationship with God, but having a good church family to build friendships with helps so much along the way. Our new family has gone above and beyond to make us feel welcomed, and I think we are now a real part of this church - or at least I think we'd be missed if we weren't a part of them. :-) (Our small group would miss us!! HA!)
  
  
• Job Layoff - After three years of working for my former employers - they laid me off in May, and believe me it was a blessing on so many levels - but an adjustment none the less. Also dealing with the realization that my "dream job" might not be on the path that God has set for me - and becoming okay with that.
  
  
• Turning 30 - Some people might think this is strange, but turning 30 is every bit hard mentally as any of the other changes I've been through. I had to come to terms with the fact that I'm not where I wanted or expected to be by this stage of my life, and be okay with that. Thank goodness I had the extra time this summer to work through that.
  
  
• My Baptism - This one was only an adjustment for me in that my spiritual journey had finally come full circle, and I had gotten through my fear of standing in front of a bunch of people to show my faith outwardly. I was never afraid to show my faith - it was just the fear of the ceremony and the audience. (I'm silly that way - remember the hives?!)
  
  
• Gallbladder Removal Surgery - Just one more aspect of my weight loss journey - it was really a matter of time before this happened once I had my digestive system rerouted... so it wasn't completely unexpected - but a little quicker than originally thought. Again, thanks to the lay off for providing a convenient time to get through this recovery process.
  
  
• New Job - Ahhh... the joy of a new job, with new challenges, and a new culture to get used to. It has been a learning curve to rival all others that I've dealt with in the past... but there are clear places where I will certainly make an impact to the department overall. If only those changes would start happening!
  
  
• A second Church Merger - we just found out about this yesterday, and honestly - I'm at peace about this one. Our pastor was approached a couple of months ago about this opportunity, and he was hesitant at first but prayed about it... and feels that God is leading us down this path. Another church in our area has asked to merge with us, but the difference is that our church will absorb theirs. They will become Cypress Family Fellowship, but we will be given their land and buildings to use for our newer/better church. So the difference this time is that we will not be losing our pastor, and we will be gaining a building with land to use instead of being a portable church. We still have lots of questions about how this will work in the end, and have to vote on the issue as well - but feel good about it overall.
  
  
• Finally - through it all - I've lost roughly 87 pounds, which is a mental and physical change that I can't even begin to explain in words right now.
  

You see - the last year has been a very scary time for me, but I've found strength through John, my family, and my friends... but most of all through God. So to bring it back to the song... this is how I can apply the words: "you can't stop the seasons & don't stop believing" to my life today.

Veteran's Day

Well, it almost got away from me, but not quite! I just want to say thank you so much to those that have gone out and fought for the freedom that Americans sometimes take for granted. I sent a special email to the three most important veterans in my life:

My Dad: Vietnam

My Father-in-Law: Korea

My Cousin: War on Terror (Afghanistan)

I am so proud of these men, and others that have fought the good fight...

Don't forget to thank the veterans in your life today!

This Can't Be Right

But I'm down two more pounds this morning!! I think it's most definitely dehydration - but since my 1 year surgery anniversary is Saturday - I'll take every ounce I can get! More later when I get to work - just had to share that the ticker moved again! YIPPEE!

Music Monday - Postponed

Well, I've done the impossible... or at least I've never heard of it... but I've WAY overdone it on my workout tonight. In the last two hours I've gone from being dizzy to nauseated to having chills... and finally on to a massive headache.

I worked out harder than I have been, but I really didn't know or expect this kind of reaction. It's never happened before. I have been laying on the couch and my favorite nurse is helping me as much as I'll let him.

I'm sipping tea, and have now been able to eat a few crackers. This stinks - I had some good stuff to talk about tonight! I guess I'll have to wait to be insightful tomorrow...

Self Definition

Have you ever been at a party or other type of social gathering where there were a lot of people introducing themselves for the first time? Isn't it amazing what you hear?

How do you introduce yourself to a new person? Do you say, your name an occupation? Most people in America do... and it's really sad to me. In a lot of ways we define ourselves by our jobs... and honestly - that isn't enough for me.

I'm not a database manager... I'm so much more than that. I'm a wife, a Christian, a daughter, a sister, a friend, an aunt, a cousin, a niece, a granddaughter, an Aggie, a weight loss surgery patient, a writer, a photographer, a scrapbooker... you see where I'm going? Now, I'm certainly not suggesting that you say all of that the next time you meet someone new... because that's really not what they're asking.

Depending on the setting - the answer might be different, but typically people are just looking for something that they can use to start a conversation... a jumping off point that would possibly create some common ground to keep the discussion moving forward. Otherwise - there is just awkward silence, and each of you looking for an excuse to get out of the weird situation.

For me - there is so much more to who I am than my job... and honestly - if I could find a way to win the lottery without actually spending any money to play... I'd quit working outside the home all together. I find that job to be much more rewarding and important than anything I can do outside in the "rat race."

I was never happier than when I was at home this summer taking care of the house for John, and having dinner ready for him each night when he returned from working... but this post isn't about that - right now our finances need both our incomes to sustain our lifestyle. The point of my post is that what I do outside the home does not define me...

In fact - it's such a small part of me that it's strange to think of how many hours are spent doing that very job. I spend 8 hours a day working, and don't get me wrong - I give it everything I have for those 8 hours... but again - it's not my main focus, not my main passion... it just is what it is - a means to be able to afford the other things in my life that I love.

Some people call that "just a job" - but I was raised with a higher standard of work ethic than that - so I take pride in the quality of the work I produce, and in the fact that they can depend on me - but at the same time - I pride myself on the fact that my friends, family, small group and church can depend on me as well.

Sometimes it does seem to be too much, but God always provides a weekend off just when I need it...

How do you define yourself?

David & Vivien's Wedding

Yesterday, we had the privilege of attending the wedding reception of one of John's cousins. He had a destination wedding last week in Cabo San Lucas... and from the picture we saw... it was breath-taking!

This picture was at the entry of the party - doesn't that look like an amazing wedding setting?! (And I don't even like the beach!)

John's cousin, Tiffany and I with her daughter Haley

The cousin table... we were having a good time catching up.

Aunt Kim and miss Brooklyn... she is so stinking cute!

The happy couple, David & Vivien... so cute, and so happy!

John's parents... enjoying some time with old friends and family too.

John (center) with his cousin Carl (left) and Tiffany's husband, Philip (right)

Carl and his wife Deann enjoying a lovely party.

David sang a song for Vivien at the wedding, and then recreated the moment for all of us.

My sister in law, Susan... acting silly as usual!

Brooklyn hanging out with her Daddy, Ryan.

Brooklyn's big sister, Taylor hanging out with Haley.

It certainly was a fabulous party, and a good afternoon with family... we don't get to spend a lot of time together... but it's always a great time when we do!

Holiday Fun

I'm participating in a fun ornament exchange, and wanted to share this will all my internets - in the event that you might want to join in the fun too.

The ornaments are $10 or less, and how fun could it be to get something from another part of our great country?!

If you want to participate - click on the picture - it should take you to the place to sign up, and you'll get an email where you can send in your preferences... in case your tree has a theme, or if there are other specific things someone might need to know if picking an ornament for your Christmas tree.

Anyone Notice

Did anyone notice anything that might have changed on this page?! Maybe my weight loss ticker... it moved a little this morning - WOOT! (I hope that it's not just dehydration!)

Open Letter - Smoker Guy

At some point in this past week - I referenced my irrational hatred of people having to wait on me... and how I may or may not breakout in hives in said situation... remember that as you read this one.

Dear Smoker Guy,

Thank you so much for making my Walmart experience so wonderful this morning... you truly are a man for others.

It's not enough that most of us in the store at 8 AM on a Saturday morning are there to do our weekly shopping at a time when we all can get in and out of the store a little quicker than if we'd waited until the middle of the day to do that. (I must admit that I'd rather take a beating than go to Walmart on a Saturday afternoon.)

At said time of the morning, there are limited options for the number of check out lines that are available... so yes, some of us end up in the 1 line you can go through to purchase your cancer sticks.

So what if the lady in front of me has $200 worth of yogurt, organic milk and kitty litter... her basket was over-flowing so she has some mad shopping skills, but for you to walk up behind me an loudly sigh because you'll have to wait 5 minutes to get your cigarettes is just a little rude, don't you think?

I didn't even have that much stuff - any other week you might have been forced to wait 8 minutes... oh the horror!

Now, even though you're in the store for one thing - which is going to kill you, I might add... I didn't judge you... I smiled at you and tried to act like I was sympathetic to your inconvenience...

But, when you took it to the next level - I couldn't help but notice that you acted like you were half drunk... and you had no teeth in your head.

Was it really necessary to call the manager over while I'm trying to get my groceries and pay my bill? Was it really in any one's best interests to stand there and throw a fit because the cigarette line isn't an express line?

You stood there and made the rest of us sound like horrible people because we had the nerve to go through the cigarette line to get groceries for our families... are you kidding me?

Then to add insult to injury - you stood behind my car to fumble with the cigarettes you did purchase and light one... while I sat there waiting to back out. Now, who is the real jerk in this situation?

Sincerely,
Wishes tobacco products could be outlawed

Open Letter - Popcorn Burner

I meant to write this one a couple days ago, but well - time gets away from me on Thursdays & Fridays.

Dear Popcorn Burner:

First of all, let me applaud you for trying to find a healthier snack for your afternoon munchies... provided that it's not kettle corn or a little bit of corn in a big bag full of butter... ANYWAY... Seriously, I get it - you need to eat in the afternoon.

I have to eat 6 times a day, but here's where our alliance ends... because I strive to not disturb people while they are trying to work with the stench of my food. I actually consciously think about that when I make my many meal selections for the office.

You, my friend, made a choice that I'd never make because even if executed properly - it still smells up the building for hours... but when you're too busy to watch the popcorn while it's in the microwave... and you burn it - we all appreciate that smell for a LONG time.

It starts by everyone walking around asking if one of our machines is burning... but then it gets more intense and everyone realizes that it's in fact a microwave popcorn attempt gone wrong...

Thanks so much for making our Thursday afternoon so pleasing to our olfactory systems for the rest of the day.

Love,
The girl with the sensitive nose

Inspired or Not

For some reason, I've gotten a bug that gives me bazillions of ideas for posts - but NO time to complete the writing process... so I'm promising you guys some bloggy fun - just as soon as I can get more than 5 seconds in front of my computer... at the same time as an idea pops into my head. (that's the real challenge)

Right now I'm at my desk in the office feeling completely uninspired to do any work - something about Friday afternoons and my brain shutting off completely. On top of that - I've got some stomach cramps that could rival any pain that I've ever felt in my lifetime.

You know the kind, where you're doubled over in pain... then it subsides for a few minutes... then you're on the floor in the fetal position... break... repeat... break... repeat. Every time I'm on the peak of one of the moments of pain - every hair on my body stands on end... as if to remind me that there is a a brutal pain situation going on. (Yeah, I get it... thanks for reminding me... in the event that I could forget that I'm laying on the floor of my cubicle!)

Okay, really - I haven't gotten to the point of laying on the floor yet... BUT the thought has crossed my mind. The other thought bouncing around in the old noggin right now is that if I had a big butcher's knife... I could solve two problems at once... cut out the pain, and lose a few (or 94) more pounds! Oh the horror...

Speaking of that - I know that my friend Renee is going to kill me... she is such a light in my life ya'll... (I know I didn't put the apostrophe in the appropriate place, but I've been doing it that way for 30 years... and well you know what they say about old dogs.) Back to original point... Renee is such a gift you guys, everytime I start getting down about my weight loss... she is so quick to remind me how far I've come in the journey.

For some reason I'm so overwhelmed by the 94 pounds I still have to lose - that I can't even celebrate the 84 that I've lost already. I was telling her about a doctor that I want to go see - I'll explain more about that in another post - that might have some answers as to why my body is going slower in this process than my other "Shrinking Lady" friends. Renee is so sweet - her first reaction is "Hellew - you've lost 80!" I know that she's right, but I just can't mentally get there.

It has literally taken me an hour to get this short post written because of the crazy pain situation... I think I am going to literally curl up in the fetal position on the floor under my desk. (Hold my calls... or forward them under the desk!)

Almost Wordless

Our small group met again tonight, and had a really good lesson! I will have to process it a little more to get any good thoughts down about it, but our group is also just fun... we enjoy each other and spend a good amount of time laughing.

I can't even tell you how great John is doing as our leader, and I'm so proud of him. It's been such a different process for me - because typically I'm not much into opening my home, but on a week night... forgetaboudid... never would have happened a year ago.

Some nights I don't feel like I've got enough energy now to do it all, but if I think back to where I was then... I would have spent the entire time on antibiotics because when Kim gets exhausted - she gets sick.

I've got the immune system of someone that has been chewed up and spit back out... I mean literally - if you look at me wrong - I just might get sick... if there is one person out of the group to get some random critter to infect them... it's typically me. In spite of all that though, this year has been better. I haven't gotten my flu shot yet, but even with feeling crummy this week - I'm light years better than in years past.

ANYWAY - I need to get myself to bed - so that I don't wake up feeling like a truck ran over me.

Check in tomorrow - I had planned on writing another open letter tonight... but I'll try to get it posted in the morning. My pillow is just calling me very loudly at the moment... speaking of that - there is a group on Facebook called 'I flip my pillow over to get the cold side' or something like that - I have a friend that joined it!! (shout out Danielle W.) Too funny!

Open Letter - Yogurt Thief

Because I can't tell the person directly responsible for the following... I'll just share it with the world wide web.

Dear Yogurt Thief:

Yeah, you... you know who you are. You're the person that took a yogurt from the common area refrigerator in the office that didn't belong to you. Was it a simple mistake? Maybe. If so, maybe you'll feel bad and replace it tomorrow - but I don't really hang any hopes on that happening.

I know that it seems like there is so much food in that white magic box of food that no one would miss one little yogurt... unless said person is on a very carefully managed diet routine that involves ingesting protein at regular intervals during the entire course of the day....

Thank goodness I haven't been eating any meals during the day this week, or someone seriously might have paid the price for your mistake by dealing with a very grumpy lady at some point over the last couple of days.

I just wonder if you needed the food more than me... because in that case - I would have been happy to help you, and would make other arrangements for my own nourishment... but if you were just being mean... then shame on you!

Either way, I hope it was a delicious snack for you.

Sincerely,
Lacking in Protein Intake

Culture Shock

Before I even get into the "meat" of this post - let me just put a disclaimer right out here in front that this is NOT about politics or anything remotely similar.

This has been an extremely emotional day - primarily at first because of politics, but it only got harder from there.

You see - for the first time in my life, I'm actually struggling to figure out my new company... the bureaucracy is overwhelming to me at times, and it seems like just when you start to figure things out - there is something that you "should" have known to do in the middle of the very process you thought you just learned.

It's very difficult and overly stressful for me to be "average" - I strive to be better than that... we all should, but that's a soapbox for another time. There just are things that you can't possibly know to ask - sometimes you don't know what you don't know, you know? HA! Did you follow that?

The point being that it is extremely hard to know what questions to ask sometimes when you are learning new processes, and at the same time - if it's a process you've been involved in for quite a while, it can be just as difficult to remember each little detail to tell someone you are training.

Even more than that, when you are hired in an office to be the "expert" on a certain field - people don't understand that there is a learning curve that comes with just getting yourself immersed into the culture in order to learn how to change things for the efficiency of the organization as a whole.

I feel like I'm totally rambling, but for yet another ride home with my wonderful husband - he had to deal with my irrational release of emotions... (read crying)

I finally had enough today, and as usual John had to pick up the pieces... and well in his need to help his loved one... he actually has given me some really good ideas on things to try to avoid having this problem pop up again.

For as long as I remember there has always been a joke about saying one thing... the boss saying "no, lets do it this way..." and in reality - they said the EXACT same thing you did. For instance:

You: We need to use pink paper, blue paper clips, and fold the document vertically.
Boss: No
You: Ok, what do you think we should do?
Boss: I think we fold the document vertically, use pink paper, and then blue paper clips.
You (in your head): wow, that really helped! Geez!

I am dealing with this on a daily basis, and honestly I now 100% understand the phrase "my boss knows just enough about the program to be dangerous" - OH let me just tell you... I am INTIMATELY aware of that statement at this point.

Seriously ya'll, it took us 12 (literally - I counted) drafts - read reprintings - to get a set of 10 letters out to some potential donors.... I could have called each of those donors and delivered them a home cooked meal in the time it took us to send them a 1 page letter! (two weeks!)

It just makes me laugh that in the midst such inefficiency - we want to make sure that we're "the best of the best" in our field. Wow - there's a lofty goal!

John could be right - maybe I'm there to help get them to just that goal and my knowledge and experience is just what they need, but I can certainly see a lot of stress, frustration and heart-ache along the way for me.

If we do get to the end of this road and meet that very goal - it'll be such a reward to know how far we've come, but it certainly will be the grace of God that gets me to that point! He's going to have to "meet me where the mountain beats me and carry me through." (to pull an idea from Music Monday's post)

Why Me?

In the comedy of errors that sometimes I call life... things just sometimes happen that you can't even explain - all you can do is laugh.

John and I planned on making gumbo for our small group meeting this week - which is on Thursday, and by making it I do mean by scratch. We knew it was going to take some time because one recipe we were planning to use partially said that it would take 3 1/2 hours!

Our plan was to pick up dinner and then get home to start our cooking... we want to get it 90% complete tonight because well - I can't be trusted to do it all on my own tomorrow night... and we need for it to be ready pretty early on Thursday night. We'll be able to make the rice, add the shrimp and serve it within an hour of getting home from work on Thursday. (Good plan, right?)

Well, our plan starts to unravel when we choose to go to Luby's through the drive thru... and while it always takes a bit of extra time - I didn't realize that it could possibly take THAT long! It's quite obvious to me that they don't have any alarms that go off if people wait in line for any length of time... like say other places with drive thru windows.

After about 25 minutes of waiting... I started getting impatient - we of course started trying to come up with scenarios as to what could be causing this wait.

Were they ordering for an entire colony of people back at home? Possibly.

Did they order something not on the menu? Surely not.

Did they have to grow the vegetables? Unlikely.

Can you imagine my horror when the people in front of us (the only person standing in our way) get a drink and then drive off?! HELLO?!

Did they have to brew some tea for these people? Did they have to figure out how to mix hydrogen and oxygen to make water? Oh yeah, I'm pretty sure God took care of that for us... what in the world?!

I couldn't even muster up the words to ask the lady in the window what the problem might have been with those people... as usual I did my transaction within about a minute and a half - then drove off. Somehow though, I don't feel like I'm getting my fair share of attention by being the easy customer!

Just once I'd like to be the person causing the wait - oh yeah - that's not actually true because I start breaking out in hives if people actually start staring at me! I hate being the cause of anyone else having to wait... or become impatient... this might be why I start to freak out in meetings if I can't find the answer instantaneously.

I guess those are issues for another post on another day...

I hope that was the best drink in the history of Luby's though... because I'll never get that half hour back!

Welcome Friend

I just got word that my friend Jen over at Sugar Mommy has just had a little boy this morning! His name is still being decided, but we are so overjoyed at this new addition to our church family... and would like to just take a moment to pray for the family.

Loving God,

Bless Jen and this new life brought into the world today. As she wraps her baby in love, may she too, be enfolded in Your unconditional, embrace. Precious these two lives, forever bonded to each other - to You!

Bless too, this child's father, Hal... provider, protector, and guardian. As his child grows, may he be given the strength, compassion, and tenderness needed to be the best role model he can be.

Surround this family with comfort, Wrap them in peace, Bundle them securely in love, Cradle them with hope in the future. May their days together grow in joy, guided by your tender love. Blessing this family through all the generations.

Amen

Music Monday

You guys, I really had such plans for this new theme for Mondays here on Thoughts by Kim... but illness has really worked against me on this one.

My plan is to put up a video or audio version of a song that I'm listening to right now - be it through my iPod working out, the radio in the car, or our worship team's set list of the week. Just one song per week that I either find meaningful or just plain entertaining... as sometimes I get the most humor from the old songs that I love from my past.

The idea being that whatever song I choose for the week will come with a story from my past, or an application to my life now... depending on what the song is that I chose to use. If everyone likes this idea - I might put a link list up for others to link to their own musical posts too. (I thought that too ambitious for this first post.)

Our worship team at church is planning to play the particular song that I chose for this week at the end of the month... so naturally while John is learning to play/sing it - I've had the opportunity to listen to it... well more than a few times.

The words of this song are so relevant to where I am right now, and I find such hope and love in the message. Take a listen for yourself... Carry Me Through by Dave Barnes:

Carry Me Through -...

(Thanks to my wonderful husband for making the audio player for me - and the graphic that will be revealed in the near future)

This song just reminds me how God is going to meet me where "the mountain" beats me... and he'll carry me through whatever battle I'm facing. What a beautiful message... and something that I need to always remember when I'm dealing with the day to day challenges of trying to lose weight... or any other struggle in life.

One of the hardest things that we face as humans and as Christians is the balance between our timing for things versus God's timing - maybe not for all of us, but it is something that I honestly struggle with more than anything else in my spiritual life. I try my best to be mindful of this fact, but it is not always easy.

I know that the wait is well worth it, and in most cases the rewards are far greater when you've had to work for it... but sometimes it's hard for me to remember that during the hard part of the struggle.

So, whenever I get down about where I am in a particular season of my life - be it with the weight loss or with infertility... I vow to listen to this song, and remember that God will meet me and carry me through.