Can't Stop Laughing

Life with a 16 year old intern is quite humorous at times. My co-worker happens to be a little bit older than I am - I'd say mid 30's... and is the intern's backup supervisor. She has projects for him to complete, but for the most part - he sticks with me.

Anyway, this morning she had some stuff to do with him - which was a fairly mindless project of stuffing envelopes for a mailing. While stuffing, it is only natural that you'd chat about anything and everything that comes to mind.

So she asked him how he felt about the recent slew of deaths in the celebrity world - mainly Michael Jackson - because I don't think a 16 year old even knows who Farrah Fawcett was or has much connection to Charlie's Angels.... and Ed McMahon wouldn't have been on his radar much either. I'd bet that Michael Jackson and Billy Mays are the only two that register for him.

They start talking about it and how he felt... which on a side note - I'm not sure why people react so strongly to deaths of people that they've never even met. I mean sure - be sad that someone out there lost a family member, but I wouldn't say that I'd be in mourning over the loss of a celebrity.

Anyway, so after a few minutes of chatting about Michael's recent passing - the kid looks at her seriously and asks: "Well, I mean, how did you feel when JFK was killed?" PRICELESS!

She looked at him and asked: "How old do you think I am?! I wasn't even born when he died."

Hysterical!

Silent Sunday

Ok... sort of silent... you know I can't put out photos without captions...

This was Father's Day - and I just thought Brooklyn and Ryan were adorable in this picture.

The family Mario Cart tournament...

John's cousin had an engagement party the day before Father's Day, and it was a luau.... so this is the whole pig that we had.

It's blurry - but I just love this kid...

My in-laws... relaxing...

This is what you get when you ask Brooklyn to show you her "teefies"

Another "teefie" shot... with all of her lei's.

My sister-in-law, Susan... being tickled by Carl... Carl is John and Susan's cousin.

Joe and Melody - the happy couple!

It was a great Saturday to celebrate Father's Day and an engagement... the wedding will be in December - and I'm so happy that it'll be cool! Because I can't imagine anyone trying to get married in this 106 degree heat!

Life Lessons

Sometimes people just amaze me. Plain and simple - the selfishness and just general ugliness is shocking. I guess I somehow walk around with a general opinion that people for the most part are good... and treat people with respect. Boy, does it come as a shock when people do the exact opposite.

The saying: "Consider the source" is particularly true at the moment, but it's no less disheartening.

I guess it just goes to show you that there truly is a light that comes with having Christ in your life - because honestly without him... I could have easily been a person just like that... treating others like pons in a giant game of chess. Or even worse... because it really is all about what people can do FOR them - and what people have done TO them.

Unless you can accept your own responsibility for your actions - you just end up being bitter. Which sadly pushes people away. So with that being said - I am so grateful that God is such an important part of my life... because without him... I certainly wouldn't be a light to the world.

I'm not a light everyday by any means, but I sure do try to be. It is a joy being able to share the love of Jesus Christ with those that are willing to accept it... and if they aren't - then at the very least I try to act in a way that would be an example of love.

I certainly hope that all of you are having a fantastic weekend - mine has been very low key... in hopes that I'll make a full recovery by Monday, but in an odd twist - my fever is back up tonight... so I'm headed to bed early in hopes that it will be gone in time for me to be the lead teacher in the 2-3 year old class at church tomorrow.

Necklace Giveaway Winner!!

Random Integer Generator
Here is your random number:13
Timestamp: 2009-06-27 18:14:57 UTC

Which means absolutely nothing to you, right?!

Well, when I go to my magic spreadsheet...

drumroll....

SUMMER - you are the magic winner!! (I'll send you an email to get your address)

Sorry to everyone that didn't win this time, but I will do this again soon...

Friday Favorites 8

This week we have my friend Summer, who just happens to be fantastic! She is sweet, caring and funny - and of course a great support through the ups and downs of trying to have a baby. We have been able to chat quite a bit through Gmail and text messaging, and believe me - as soon as I get a chance to head on up to NYC... she's going to show it to me through the eyes of a native! (she just doesn't know it yet! HA!) You've got to go check her out - because she shares a lot of shopping finds via Etsy and other sites that are just amazingly cool. I know that you'll love her!

1) Tell us a little bit about yourself:

I was born and raised in South Louisiana but moved to NYC after LSU to study acting. I did well in the industry but have lost a bit of passion for it. It will always be apart of me, just not right now. I am an aspiring pastry chef and plan on going back to school to receive my teaching certificate. I’ve been married for 3 years and we have two cats. I live in a fabulous city that seriously never sleeps. I work too hard and play when I can. I love my husband, my family, my heritage, the sun, fleur de lis, being silly, baking, eating Smarties, dancing in my kitchen, and anything & everything LSU. I love all things vintage. I love being witty and throwing out one liners. I have learned to bust some balls living in NYC. Oh and I love all things crazy. Things that don’t really go well together, but so do! Like bacon and chocolate. I also am not bashful and ask a lot of questions. Quite curious, I am. Also, I am a worry wart and it affects me on a daily basis.

2) Tell us your mission/goal for your blog:

I started it when we started TTC (trying to conceive), thinking I would be posting pictures of baby bedding and bibs. However, we did not conceive for about 8 months and when we did, the pregnancy was ectopic. However, I‘ve met some of the best people in the world through blogging. My blog was supposed to be all about my husband and myself and our future kiddos. Now, I control it! I post about fashion, fun and interesting things, our life in NYC and our travels.

3) Tell us about your favorite post or your best inspiration:

I love love love DIY. (Do It Yourself) I love anything old that I can make new again. My favorite post has to be the one showing off my newly, painted shelves.

4) Tell us one thing you can’t live without: (this could be animal, vegetable, or mineral – it’s up to you)

ONE thing? Um, this is hard. I would say lavender. I love it so much. I love to smell it, bathe in it, wash my clothes in it and even eat it when it is infused into the frosting of a cupcake! Want the recipe? I will share it.

5) Tell us something funny/interesting about you:

I am obsessed with the labels of my products in the kitchen and bathroom facing forward. I am in love with the Big Lebowski. I sometimes talk in a little girly voice to my husband. I dance with my cats. I have 3 tattoos and most people are shocked to find this out. I love the Allman Brothers and Gov’t Mule. I love black nail polish on my short nails. I love extra dirty martinis. I love to dip my fries in ice cream or mayo, {but not at the same time – yuck}. I also love headbands more than anything. I speak a little Cajun French. I dislike people that think they are better than me because of the amount of money in their checking account, how they dress or their occupation. Those people bore me. My nicknames are: from dad – Gootzer, my husband – Kiddo and my friends – Sum. WOW – this questionnaire was so ME ME ME.

6) Tell us how we can find you to read for ourselves: (your blog address)

www.bisforbrown.blogspot.com
www.summerscakes.com
www.ttcbabybrown.blogspot.com (invite only, just shoot me an email)

If you'd like to be featured on Friday Favorites in the coming weeks, drop me a comment with your email address and I'll send the survey over to you. OR you can copy the questions from this post - answer them and email them to me. (You can find my email by clicking on the about me link to my profile.)

Don't forget to sign up for the necklace giveaway contest here... contest closes tomorrow at noon - so don't miss out!

On the Mend?

Don't forget to sign up for the necklace giveaway contest here... contest closes tomorrow at noon - so don't miss out!

Well, yesterday certainly ended up being strange. My boss wanted me to leave the office almost immediately after I got there, but I ended up leaving around 2. We made our 45 minute drive home, and just about 5 minutes before we got there - I called my doctor's office to give them my updated contact number.

When I called - they were just about to call me and tell me that they had a new prescription for me, and some information about my other symptoms. My other symptom was dizziness, and he said that it was dehydration - and that I needed to drink LOTS of fluids or I'd have to be admitted to the hospital for fluids. The prescription that he wanted to call in can only be filled at the hospital - you'd be shocked at how hard it is to get liquid antibiotics!

So we turned the car around and went to get the medicine at the hospital. I took it when we got home, and my fever immediately spiked up again... apparently whatever this bug is - it doesn't like the fact that I'm trying to hunt it down and kill it!

My fever stayed high all the way through our small group meeting - in which John had me sit in his leather recliner... and I promptly sweated through my clothes... EWWW! I made it through the meeting, and by the time everyone left - John told me to go ahead and email my boss to tell her that I wasn't going to be able to make it in the office today.

I did just that - and then slept until 9 this morning. It was nice since I didn't sleep AT ALL the night before. Since then - I've moved to the couch, and John has made me soup and taken care of my every need. He's a wonderful nurse!

I'm feeling a bit better this morning - but it could be a lull between fever symptoms. Who knows, but I hope that I'm getting better - because I'd love to get out of the house for a little while today. It's sad when you get sooooo bored that going to the grocery store and Office Depot sounds like a welcomed distraction!

Hot'n Healthy Oatmeal Squares

So, what happens when Kim is left waiting too long for a prescription to be ready on Tuesday? She spends her time wandering the aisles of Walgreen's in search of things that she just can't live without!

I'd heard about these Pure Protein Hot'n Healthy Oatmeal Squares on several other blogs that I read from time to time... and they happened to be on sale - and I hadn't eaten all day because of my blood work... so I was hungry... and all planets aligned - so I bought the chocolate chip and cinnamon roll versions.

Yesterday, I finally ate the chocolate chip version - I left the cinnamon roll version for John to try... because I'm nice like that. And can I just say that these are REALLY good?! I ate it cold instead of warming it up, but I can see how that would only stand to make it better.

I didn't even feel like I was eating a protein supplement - it was sweet enough to suffice as a dessert even... and I'd totally buy another! If you haven't tried them - I think you should. They are a great alternative to getting some protein while you are on the go... or while you are feeling the need for something warm and yummy.

Don't forget to sign up for the necklace giveaway contest here... contest closes on Saturday - so don't miss out.

Update

Don't forget to sign up for the necklace giveaway contest here... contest closes on Saturday - so don't miss out.

Other than that - an update on this crazy bug that has taken over my life COMPLETELY! I've spent the last two days at home trying to recover, and while I'm back at work today... I've already been told to get out of here.

I'm trying to hang in here until John gets done with his 2:00 meeting so that we can still carpool home. It would really throw a wrench in things for today if we had to drive separately. So we'll see how it works out.

I plan on calling my doctor's office and beg for more drugs because clearly the ones that I took on Tuesday only aggravated this thing. I think it's mocking me at this point - because I'm fairly functional, but if I could carve my eyeballs out - I think that at least the pain would go away.

Any of you that have had the unfortunate displeasure of having a migraine headache can relate to this pain - you know how your eyeballs feel when the headache subsides and you're just left with that dull pain from your eyes being just overly exhausted... it's sort of like that.

Ya'll this sucker is bad... I mean seriously - when is the last time I bought a Starbucks and had to FORCE myself to drink it? I just flat don't really want it... but since I paid almost $4 for it - I'm going to ingest it!

Speaking of Starbucks, I bought John an orange juice this morning - which was the same price as my coffee! (WTH?) Poor thing called a little while ago and was like: "ummm... we're not paying $4 for orange juice ever again. It's gross!" It is full of pulp and not very sweet - so I told him to go over by where they have the coffee and get some sugar packets... at least he can sweeten it. I guess he could get a coffee filter and strain it too... but seriously - $4 for juice?! They HAVE to be putting crack in their drinks - because why else would we subject ourselves to these prices?

I guess that I'm a wee bit cranky... and it's not helped by the fact that my doctor's office opens and 8:30 - but really they don't open until 8:45! GAH!

Okay...I'm quitting - before I run off all my readers.

Something for Free

While I am laying on the couch waiting for my head to explode... the doctor confirmed a monster sinus infection, retracted eardrums... and said that it will likely get worse before it gets better. GREAT!

So... while I'm miserable - I thought that there is nothing more fun than making someone else's day brighter.... SOOOOO... what am I going to do to make your day brighter, you ask?

I'm going to give away an item from my KH Jewelry Etsy Store!! I'm giving away a fantastic little summery necklace that will be sure to bring some fun to your next outing. The piece is 16" in length. It is small nuggets of coral with a centerpiece of turquoise... I have two of them - so anyone that doesn't win the contest is free to buy the last remaining necklace... then the design will be retired. (That basically means that you and one other person in the US will have this necklace... good odds that you won't run into each other often!)

A view of the full necklace...

A closeup of the centerpiece and the coral nuggets.

The rules for the contest are this:

1) 1 entry for blogging about this contest on your blog - leave me a link to the blog post, please.

2) 1 entry for becoming a follower on my blog. (let me know that you did it in your comment as well)

3) 1 entry for becoming a fan of KH Jewelry on Facebook. (let me know that you did it in your comment as well)

4) 1 entry for going over to view the Etsy store and tell me what your favorite item(s) is/are.

Contest closes on Saturday (6/27) at 12:00 CST.

Alive and Kicking

The title just barely might cover how I'm feeling right now. I'm in the early stages of getting sick... and am desperately trying to hold on and keep moving... without letting this thing get the best of me.

I'm on day two of having a fever, some body aches, and a cough... we'll see what else develops. I'm sort of in a mode of preparing for the worst but hoping for the best. Meaning that I'm at work today - getting my intern as squared away as possible in the event that I have to miss a day later in the week.

Getting as much work done as possible - and thinking of things to get done at home in the event that the bottom drops out of this. YUCK!

I'm going to try to get some progress made on the casserole that will feed our small group Thursday night - and put it in the freezer so that I can literally not get off the couch again until then if needed. Well, ok - that's not realistic... if it gets to that stage - a quick trip to the doctor for some super drugs might be part of the equation.

This all freaks me out a bit - because last year at this time - I got sick like this and it ended up being a month long ordeal... anyone remember me not being able to hear ANYTHING for a solid month?! NOT FUN! And certainly not part of the infertility plans - I don't know how it would effect the timing - but I basically have 3(ish) weeks to make sure that I'm completely healthy... so lets bring on the truckloads of vitamin C!

Sorry that the blog has taken a backseat to the fever for the last 24 hours or more... but I do have some pictures from Saturday that I'll use for your entertainment tonight or tomorrow. Hang in here with me... and I promise you some good blog fodder when I can gather it.

Are You Kidding?

Most of the day yesterday - I struggled to stay awake, and desperately longed for a pillow and a blanket. Because things never workout as I would hope - I curled up on the couch...and about 10 minutes later... a knock at the door. We had been working with the warranty people with our home builder, so John went ahead and answered the door in case it was one of them. (If we would have thought about it - our warranty people DO NOT wear ties...)

It was our friendly Kirby vacuum salesman, Don. He chatted John up and seduced him with the promise of cleaning our floors... bleh. So John agrees - after confirming that it is a FREE demonstration about 12 times.

The kid leaves, and comes back with his supplies and boss - I think the boss's name was Pat. If you've ever been through one of these demonstrations - it's like no other experience I've ever had. Of course the only thing I have to compare it to is the water purification people that came out the day we moved in the house... John signed up for that so that we'd get a free gift card... I'm pretty sure the gift card never came.

I should also mention that the short time between the talk at the door and Don's return with the stuff - John had prepared several areas that he wanted them to clean... like a kid in a candy store - he was going to put them to the test.

So, he proceeds to start showing us all the features -the whole thing started at around 6:45ish. (maybe slightly earlier)

He vacuums with our machine, and swiffers the tile floors... then goes back over it with the Kirby to show us what our machines missed. LOTS of other tests... and we start seeing these lining our entry way.

Because it looks disgusting - I must tell you that the darker ones on the row on the far right of the picture are from the top of our kitchen cabinets - so I think that the grease that might be up there from cooking makes it look worse. The others on the left that look horrid... are from the couch - which is new and a dark brown... so a lot of that was just fuzz coming off the fabric.

The grossest thing by far though was the demonstration of them using the Kirby on our mattress. THAT is disgusting! (For the money they wanted for the Kirby though - I'll just go buy a new bed!)

At several points during the demonstration - Don had to call into the office - which if you've never been through one of these - they totally talk on the phone with someone acting like they're making you a special deal... when they start to talk to you about what the deal is - they set the phone down on the table so that the person on the other end can hear exactly what you're saying. (This will become important later.)

I about choked when they asked me what I thought the vacuum was worth, and I said "$500" which is about the most that I'd EVER even try to justify to myself for a machine like that. Don replied, "That's a nice down payment." Great, at this point - I knew it was going to be a struggle to get these people out of our house.

We do more trials and tests with the machine to show us more about how it works and the things that it can do. Pat comes back to the house shortly before each phone call to check on Don and put in his little bit of information to help make the sale.

Second phone call, ya'll at this point - I'm getting delirious because I haven't eaten and I'm exhausted... so I literally wanted to cry just to get them to leave... but I didn't have the energy. Anyway, they come down to a price around $1,600 this time. John goes into a little about how we're doing fertility treatments - and that the price is now half of a month's worth of treatment.

Don, the salesman, gets off the phone and launches into a story about how he was kicked by a horse in the "man parts" and may never be able to have children. I wonder if that is true... but if it's not - he's really quick on his feet!

More demo... ending with the shampooing of our carpet in the living room. I don't know if we can truly tell a difference, but this morning as I write this - it does still smell nice and lavendery. So just as he finishes the shampooing, his boss -Pat comes back. Pours the stuff from the Kirby into a glass to show us what was washed out of our carpet.

Then they launch into the hard sell. At which time, I figure out what's happening with the phone calls... because Pat immediately is like "so, I understand you're doing fertility treatments." Lovely...

From there, Pat tells us about his story of being 40 and his wife is 39 and they are "starting" (seriously?) to think about having children and he thinks they'll have some problems. Ok, at 39 - even if you were perfectly healthy - chances are it's not going to be easy to get pregnant... but whatever - he was just trying to chat us up and get us to buy the machine.

After chatting for a bit - he makes a big production of giving us a "special" deal because of our fertility treatments and all. The whole time they'd been offering us financing... and monthly payments - which we said over and over again that we wouldn't finance anything much less a vacuum cleaner.

So, before Pat gives us the final number... in a moment of brilliance... this conversation happens:

Pat: "Since you're having some financial issues with the fertility treatments, I'm going to give you a special price - but I ask that you keep this to yourself because we've sold some machines to your neighbors tonight and we don't want them to know about your special deal."

Kim: "We don't know any of our neighbors."

Pat: "This deal will hopefully fit in your budget and help Don win his trip to San Antonio. We of course also have the interest free financing option available as well."

Kim: "Have you ever heard of Dave Ramsey?"

Pat: "Are you kidding me?! Man, Don... pack it up - we're done."

Kim: Laughter

Pat: "I wish I could strangle that man sometimes! You know that Dave Ramsey isn't going to come clean your carpet, right?"

Kim: Laughter

Pat: "I have listened to some of his CD's to know what we're up against with some customers."

Kim: "It has worked well for us."

Pat: "Here is our offer."
John: "Can we have a minute to discuss this?"

Pat: "Sure, we'll wait outside."

At which time, I am able to tell John about one of his A&M Buddies that responded to my Facebook post about the salesman being in the house... Leland told me about buying one - having the wheel fall off - and no one being willing to fix it. Knowing where Leland lives - which is where these guys are based - we opted to NOT purchase.

Seriously - $1,000 for a vacuum... it better do all of those nifty cleaning tasks FOR me - and serve me a drink at the same time!

So, they come in and pack their stuff up. The literally walked out the door at about 10:30... GEEZ - the sales pitch that never ends! I can't even imagine what would have happened if they went in a house with kids - I mean who can deal with a 3 and a half hour sales pitch with kids?! I barely dealt with it...

Moral of the story? We will NEVER open the door again to anyone knocking that we're not expecting. If they are wearing a tie - they are either a religious person knocking on doors or a sales man.... neither of which am I truly prepared or equipped to deal with. Otherwise - it will be someone we're expecting... and John is not allowed to go to the door. He somehow loses his senses of reality when someone starts talking about something being free...

Small Group & Cucumbers

Thursday night of course is small group night - which means lots of eating, laughing, and chatting with friends. We regularly have three little girls all around the ages of 2 and 3 that come with their parents to group. (We have about 8 more kids - 2 couples that have 4 kids each - amoungst the other group members, but they have their own sitters.) Anyway - we have a sitter that comes and plays with the girls while we do our actual study. After we are done with our discussion... we have dessert - which means that the kids get to come down and enjoy too.

Shortly before small group started up again, I decided that the best place for my scrapbooks to be displayed is on the coffee table.... the kids absolutely LOVE this. They have the best time looking at them each week, and talking about who is in which picture. It's hillarious when they look at a picture of one of our family members and declare that it's a picture of them. Too cute!

Anyway, two of them were doing that this week and I thought it was so adorable - I had to grab the camera and capture the moment for the blog. Here I give you... L and A...

I have no idea what they are talking about, but L looks like she's laughing.

I don't know why, but it just melted my heart when I saw them sitting like this.

Earlier this week, we were checking out the garden... which I think we've figured out that we were watering too much. We were initially watering every single morning... but now it seems to be thriving a little more with being watered every other day or every 3rd day.

Anyway, we've got some tomatoes, a couple of peppers, lots of cucumbers, and our radishes are doing well. Nothing yet from the cantaloupe, corn, peas, squash or okra.

We were inspecting the cucumber plant - which seems to be taking over the garden - and is actually now flowing over the side and down into the yard. Look what we found!! A cucumber - just for effect -I layed a 20 ounce Wal-Mart water bottle next to it so that it might give you an idea of the size.

Mammoth cucumber - first veggie out of the garden!

20 Ways to Eat Healthier

This made me laugh... smart kitty!

In reading through some old magazines last night - or well... old mixed with new... trying to get rid of some extra clutter. I found a great article in Self about some simple strategies for ways to eat healthier... and I need all the help I can get! (glad you didn't just see the cookie that someone gave me to eat!)

I hope you enjoy my commentary - but the rules are real and serious - this is more of a do what they say and not what I do type of message.

1. Eat like a tourist in Greece: meaning grilled fish, fresh vegetables. Mediterranean food can help lower your risk for heart disease and keep you slim. Hmmmm.... does a mound of feta cheese negate the healthier effects?
2. If you can't grow it - don't eat it. If your best guess of where the food item comes from is an aisle in the supermarket - don't eat it. But what if I can tell you where most of the ingredients came from? Justification is just a bad thing to get into... someone slap me now!
3. Read the back of the box first. The higher number there is on the ingredients list - the more likely it came through a processing plant and had something extra added in.
4. The crunchier - the better. Unfortunately - the one thing I think of isn't on the list... chips... but apples, celery, carrots, snap peas and nuts are on the list. The idea here is that the longer it takes you to chew - the more time you have to feel full.
5. You can always have more...tomorrow. Bummer - this one is the hardest for me. If it tastes good - I'm in it until I'm sick.
6. A frozen berry beats a fresh doughnut. Yeah, tell that to Paula Deen!
7. You can't replace real ice cream. Wait, what? You now have my attention... interesting - they say that no fat free substitute will satisfy your craving here... so have ONE scoop of the real thing and savor it. Of course, my problem is that with the philosophy on number 5... what if the world ends tonight - I REALLY need to eat all that ice cream. (I know... I've got an illness)
8. There's no fruit in "fruit flavor." Seeing the word "flavor" is a big red flashing sign to tell you that something has been done to the product that is un-natural. When it's a "natural" flavoring - it only means that is is derived from a plant in some form - BUT not entirely. EWWWW... it says that scientists cane use bacteria to create a flavoring and call it natural... then it asks if you'd eat Bacteri-Os... don't tell me things like that!! Now I'm curling up in a ball under my desk to get rid of the willies... before I go eat something else with "natural flavoring."
9. If it's not around, you can't eat it. Oh yes, this is about the ONLY way to get it around me. A lot of the time you can also trick me if it's not an open package... I can convince myself not to open the box or bag of Oreos - but once the item is opened by someone else... all bets are off.
10. Table your meals. Sit at a table to enjoy your meals... does the coffee table count? HA! It says that people eating "On the Go" consume more fat than those that are eating in a more focused environment.
11. Judge food by it's cover. Simple packaging is better - when you have to hack through all sorts of packaging - the likelihood is that it's hiding the unhealthiness of the product. OMG - it also says that the perflurochemicals in food containers can cause infertility - I KNEW IT! It's the food industry's fault! (Good news - the PFC's are being phased out by 2015... great!! Glad we're being quick about it!)
12. Cake's just not that into you. HAHAHAHAHA... it says that sugary carbs are the bad boyfriends of the food world. Too funny! "They woo us with sweet nothings and leave us unsatisfied, guilt-ridden, and 10 pounds heavier." Choose snacks such as fruit, lowfat yogurt, and honey instead.
13. Don't drink dessert. Ouch. It says that if it's not skim milk, plain water, regular coffee, or tea... it's a treat. Bummer. I guess I'll be on my 12 step program for Starbucks again soon... I'm thinking next week we'll go from Grande to Tall... then should I go to a Short - or just go cold turkey?
14. Make sure you can ID the animal. It says that you don't need to hunt and skin the animal yourself (thank God!) but if it has been molded into... say a nugget... it's probably not as good for you as it would be in other preparations. I'm glad this turned out better than I expected, because my "happy place" is that meat grows on trees and is plucked off and sent to my grocery store in the packaging... I know that it doesn't REALLY happen that way - my husband has a degree in chicken processing... but I just flat DO NOT want to think about it.
15. Fuel up in the morning, not at night. It says that a car needs gas when it is going for a drive... not when it is pulling in the garage for the night. Translation? Eat your biggest meal in the morning - then lighten up as the day goes on... this is hard for me... in theory I get it, but in practice - timing, life, and a general distaste for breakfast foods makes it really hard. You are more likely to burn off the calories eaten if you eat them earlier in the day - instead of saving them for the evening hours.
16. Don't buy food where you buy tires. My instinct here says, DUH! I wonder if Wal-Mart counts, because it says that you shouldn't buy things in convenience settings because they'll charge more... but Wal-Mart is a discount store... although - you can get distracted and buy things you don't need. I also find that my local HEB has some choices that are much healthier than most of the Wal-Mart fare. It does tend to be a little bit pricier - but I can't get things like broccolinni at Wal-Mart.
17. Work for your dinner. Ok, what? Oh... it's talking about cooking it. Basically, stating that picking up a bucket of chicken isn't as good for you as making your own meal. The idea is that you have control over what ingredients make it into your meal this way, and that's much healthier than just taking the Colonel's word for it.
18. Your hips are not a fridge. Ouch... this one hits below the belt a tad. The premise here is that anything you eat after you are full is just being stored as fat. If there is enough to save for your lunch tomorrow - pack it away - otherwise throw it away before you mindlessly finish it. This is the one area that weight loss surgery has benefited me the most - because I pretty much package everything up in meal size portions from the beginning and I only take one portion with me to the table. The rest goes in the freezer. Restaurants are a harder bet... but I try my best to not just sit there and eat without being cognizant of what I'm doing.
19. Watching Top Chef isn't cooking. NOOOOOOOOW you tell me. Be active in your food preparation and the consuming of the meal... don't eat mindlessly while watching television. Whatever... I've got a lot of shows to keep up with and very little time... I'll eat my WLS portion on the couch if I wanna!
20. Cut yourself a break. Yes... this one I like. It says that following the rules the majority of the time affords you the occasional slip up... and you know that is just what makes life fun. Of course, I don't advise starting a new diet plan a week before one of John's family parties... I'm not kidding you when I tell you back in March - I did GREAT for a week on a diet (maybe 2 weeks... I can't remember) but I got to the party and there were literally 7 birthday cakes... and I fell off the wagon then... and still haven't fully gotten myself back on.

Friday Favorites 7

This one is one of my girls... Sugar Mommy is in our small group at church - so we've grown to love her family as part of our own. She is super mom - and I'm not kidding. She has 4 amazingly beautiful children - that are just the sweetest little cutie pies! Please go check her out when you can.

1) Tell us a little bit about yourself:

I’m a stay-at-home mommy to 4 kids ages 6, 4, 20 months , and 5 months. I don’t get to blog as much as I’d like with all these kids and my hubby’s work schedule (which leaves me with very little time and energy when he’s gone AND when he’s home), but I do what I can when I can. I am a teacher by trade, but have been working at home for the last 6 years being a mommy, wife, homemaker, and now a homeschooler. I am not at all perfect, and, unfortunately, find myself to be usually quite sinful, but I love the Lord Jesus and strive to live a life worthy of His calling.

2) Tell us your mission/goal for your blog:

I’m still waiting to see where this blog goes. I don’t really have a mission in mind for it. Originally, it was meant to help our Sugar Daddy keep up with all the happenings of life here at home when he’s gone, but I’ve also enjoyed having it to participate in some fun blog parties, like “Not Me! Monday” at MckMama’s blog, and several hosted by The Nester and Kimba. I am looking forward to Kim’s new, upcoming blog fest, too!

3) Tell us about your favorite post or your best inspiration:

My favorite all-time post has to be the one when my daughter sang a song to me about cows making milk...it’ll be better if you read it as it was originally posted, than if I retell it here.

My kids are a huge source of inspiration to me. They’re always doing something funny and cute. But I try to also find inspiration in other blogs I read. There are so many wonderful writers, photographers, crafters, decorators, and cooks out there. I love to read what they have to say and look for projects and ideas I can use in my own home.

I’ve been wonderfully surprised at the number of Christian bloggers out there who share their hearts for Jesus and their compassion for other people, and I am continuously encouraged in my walk by what they have to say.

4) Tell us one thing you can’t live without: (this could be animal, vegetable, or mineral – it’s up to you)

Coffee (that’s pretty self-explanatory, isn’t it?), but only with International Delight creamer.

5) Tell us something funny/interesting about you:

While in college, I would go on double-dates with my husband, but we were dating other people at the time. It’s a long story…

6) Tell us how we can find you to read for ourselves: (your blog address)

www.sugarmommyof4.blogspot.com

Please go give Sugar Mommy some love... she's recently been working on a new decorating plan for her porch... it's fantastic!

Also if you'd like to participate in this fun survey and become one of the Friday Favorites - take these questions and answer them yourself... then email them to me.

Heeeeelllllloooo

Is anyone out there? Where is everyone lately? I know that I've been writing sort of sporadically, but I miss all my bloggy friends.

In the spirit of the fact that I can't seem to get myself together these days... some random updates:

• The intern is back for day 3 - so I guess that is a good sign. I appreciate all of your kind words and support. I really feel like this is a cultural issue that we're working through, and I think that we'll get there. The job isn't super fun... I know that - believe me - because he's doing exactly what I sit here and do all day... but he's making money and he's not outside in the 102 degree heat and humidity, right?!
  
• Have I told ya'll about the grant writing consultant that was hired to help our department? Oh man... I'm not kidding when I tell you that my entire working career is collapsing on itself in this place. They totally hired a lady I worked with back in 2001-2002... she's a bit... ummm... challenging? I don't know if that's the word... but I've gotten several laughs over it - because I don't really have anything much to do with working on anything with her... but my cubicle mate does. Literally on her first day, I saw my cube buddy having to cart a new chair from across the building because the one in the lady's workspace wasn't acceptable. I can't even TRY to make this stuff up!
  
• Some days, I wake up completely overwhelmed with how fast time is moving... maybe it's the trying to conceive and the fertility treatment scheduling - but it just seems like so much time is getting away from us. I look back at where we were 6 months ago, and I really truly in my heart believed that I'd be pregnant by now. Notsomuch... but I think the hardest thing is that it's now becoming apparent that I'll probably be 32 before we have a child... not before we get pregnant hopefully, but more than likely before the child is born. That is so NOT how I pictured my life going... but what can I do?
  
• I added some things to my Etsy store over the weekend - so go check out the new designs. The link is in the top left corner as well - just click on the KH Jewelry logo. I also added a fan page on Facebook - which is the fastest way that I can announce new things that are going on.
  
• I'm thinking of doing some contests with both jewelry and some BeautiControl products that I have left from my brief stint as a consultant. I need to get some of this stuff out of my house... so look for those coming soon... I'm thinking of giving away potentially some spa products, a micro-derm abrasion kit, and of course jewelry. YAY! If anyone has any ideas on nifty things I can do with these contests - I'd love to hear it. I don't just want to give things away - I'd love for you to have to DO something to get it... like spread the word about KH Jewelry... or Thoughts by Kim... something small, but just something.
  
• This week has been tough - more physically than mentally... I haven't been feeling well... so I think I've fallen off the wagon with my 30 day challenge. Which totally stinks, but when you're nauseated - and have other things wrong with you (I'm sparing you the details) - working out seems to fall off the "to do" list... and laying on the couch in misery takes over. I hope that I can pick back up with this tomorrow or over the weekend though.
  
• I also fell off the wagon with my Love Dare, but I'm getting back into it - if there is any way to double up on the lessons - I'm going to do that this weekend to catch up. I've been struggling this week - not with loving my husband by an stretch of the imagination... but when you feel crummy - and you're swamped at work - it is hard to find time to read and give the lessons the attention they deserve. So, instead of just doing something halfway... I'm going to wait and give it 110%!
  
• Our small group meets tonight - and I'm still cracking up over the 45 minute conversation last night with Papa John's trying to order the pizza that we're having for dinner tonight. I usually cook for everyone, but we'd planned one week to have pizza - and it truly is a blessing that it is falling this week!

I think that's about it... it's a crazy little random world that I live in...

Growing Pains

Ahhhh, well... the fun never stops.

Yesterday seemed like it went well with the intern. It's so obvious this is his first job - so the questions are a little funny at times. When there was a question about going to the bathroom... I had to laugh to myself.

Or every time he needs to ask me something - he knocks on my cubicle before walking in... hysterical. Respectful, and cute... but a little funny too.

So I thought we were rocking along, doing pretty well actually.

Then, today - our HR director (a man - this becomes important later) comes by to tell me that our intern came to talk to him yesterday about the job. It seems our young grasshopper isn't exactly happy doing data entry. Which I find odd because he seems really intimidated by people - so you'd think a job where he pretty much gets left alone to do his own thing would be ideal.

He instead wants to meet with our VP, do some volunteer projects, and special event projects... heck - it's like he wants to go from 0 - 60 in one day! We do have some other things planned for him this summer, but his primary job was to help with data entry.

The funny thing is that I sit here everyday - and do the exact same thing he's doing... EXACT same thing - just a different set of data. So, how is it too good for him? I don't know.

I've picked up on something about him though. I think he has an issue with women... maybe a discomfort of some sort... I don't know... but I've noticed that he'll talk to the men that he sees, but avoids the women if possible.

Anyway - I'm pretty sure he's met with the HR guy at least one more time today - so I'm curious as to if this is going to work out for the 8 weeks, or if this student is going to cut and run. I think he could learn a lot if he'd stick around and realize that the bulk of what we do is behind a computer screen... but I guarantee his work is the only work that the CEO will be looking at this summer. If we get these lists loaded into the database and make some significant progress on getting our monthly e-newsletter to a larger audience... he'll be a hero!

Lets just hope that he continues coming back and that he'll settle in... or somehow - it'll be my fault.

I was worried that he might not come back from lunch today, but we got through that hurdle... next thing... lets pray that he comes back tomorrow morning.

Bossy

In just about 20 minutes, I begin my first real stint at being some one's boss. Scary! For the next 8 weeks, I will have an intern... not just any intern... a paid intern. So it's a real job for him - not just a chance to follow me around.

I've made him a HUGE binder full of assignments with deadlines for him to work on during his time here, and of course it's my job to manage and mentor him to the best of my ability.

As I think about that - it makes me wonder how in the world I got here... I mean seriously... do I have the moxy to be a boss... I don't know, but we're about to find out!

It also makes me think back to my first job, and at the time - I remember being appalled that I had to vacuum the floors of the store at the end of the shift. At 15/16 years old - it was the first time I'd had to do any vacuuming and I wasn't happy about it. If only in that moment, I would have known that my second "office job" - that I had in college - would literally ask me to scrub the toilets after a bunch of adults used them all day! GAH!

Can you imagine? That job was telemarketing for one of those door to door vacuum sales companies and at the end of the shift - I was to clean the entire office including the toilets. My roommate at the time took the job with me, and we never went back after that first shift. We weren't exactly happy about having to clean a toilet after a bunch of salesmen used it all day. EWWWW!

Anyway, thankfully - Abdullah won't have to do any sort of tasks along those lines... he'll be helping me with data entry and some research. He seems to be well suited for those tasks, and I think that it will be a good experience for both of us.

I just can't help but wonder which of us is feeling the most nervous this morning?!

Slightly Frightening

You know we're in trouble down here in southeast Texas when it is barely mid-June and it's already over 99 degrees outside... GAH! What is August going to be like?! I guess it'll be well into the 110-115 range... good thing that I work indoors, right? Sheesh!

I'm not feeling particularly inspired to write anything right now - really not much of anything is keeping my interest - so that's probably more of it than anything else. I haven't been feeling great - and just pretty blah... so bare with me a little longer.

This weekend was good - and productive - but notsomuch on the relaxing. Saturday - I woke up and while John was at church... I mowed, weed-eated, and edged the yard... then because my arms were about to fall off and I couldn't get the blower started - I rinsed off the sidewalks and driveway. I never knew how much arm strength it took to weed-eat and edge... my arms were shaking well into the night, and now are extremely sore. Must have been a GREAT upper body workout!

Saturday night we went to a party for our church. It was a party for people that are in small groups - it was a 50's themed party... and it was a lot of fun. Not much happened with the theme, but we had burgers and lots of other goodies... and it's always fun to get together and chat with our church friends for a while.

Sunday was insanely busy! We started the day at church...which for some reason involved another round of nausea... and at around 1 - I left to come to work. I had to give an elevator speech (read - short and sweet) to the people attending our intern orientation... I had no idea that I would have to stand up in front of somewhere between 80-120 people! GAH!

After that was over - I headed home to help John with babysitting for some friends of ours. They have a 3 year old... and it was nice. Once we settled in to watch some Caillou - she was all set and snuggled up with me on the couch. She was having such a good time - she didn't even want to leave when her parents got there.

Thank goodness - while babysitting - John made us some soup for dinner. Because by the time our friend left - I was completely wiped out. I don't know what was up with me... but I had a REALLY bad case of nausea all the way until 1 or 2 this morning... and every joint/muscle in my body was aching when I tried to go to bed.

I don't know what is up with that, but nothing good can come from it - I just pray that I don't come down with something... because I don't have time for that right now. If it could hold off until after August 6th - I could probably hang with it. (If only it worked that way!)

John is going to be meeting with a couple of other guys from our church tonight for a Bible study or something, so I'll probably go to bed early for good measure... if not to sleep - at least to lay there with a good book and rest.

Friday Favorites 6

What can I say, I completely forgot yesterday was Friday... sue me. This week's feature is my friend Kim (AKA the other Kim). She has been a great friend and encouragement to me through my weight loss surgery journey. Sometimes that takes a back seat to the new current events in my life, but Kim was there with me all the way through that journey from beginning to today... and I really am grateful for her friendship. She has rocked her own weight loss surgery journey - and is inspirational in so many ways. She right now is in the middle of a three week trip to England to visit her husband's family... and is posting her adventures while over there - so please go check her out and give her some bloggy love!

1) Tell us a little bit about yourself:
Forty-something, married with adopted children , who had weight loss surgery a year ago and is still working to get to her goal weight. I am an animal fanatic, a Christian (who at times curses…I am nothing if not real) with hopes of being a published author one day. I work every day on one day liking exercise and hating carbs, but so far both goals are fruitless.

2) Tell us your mission/goal for your blog:
It’s just my life. It is what it is. I hope to inspire people with what I have learned and am constantly learning about weight loss, even in the face of surgery. Sometimes my blog is sad, other times happy, but I always strive to keep it real.

3) Tell us about your favorite post or your best inspiration:
I don’t think I have a favorite post and my inspiration comes from life and other bloggers. Life and bloggers are always giving me blog fodder!

4) Tell us one thing you can’t live without: (this could be animal, vegetable, or mineral – it’s up to you)
Jesus….and my cats.

5) Tell us something funny/interesting about you:
Funny or interesting? I have no idea. I have a vacuuming obsession. Does that count? (Yes, Kim - I think it does... because you have really taken the cake on that one! Except for Renee... she might give you a run for your money!)

6) Tell us how we can find you to read for ourselves: (your blog address)
Come visit me at http://knitten-kittens.com I blog every day, come rain or come shine!

Please go check her out, and let her know that you came over from my blog. You won't regret it - the photos of her trip to England are GREAT!

Five Word Friday

The Five Word Friday topic this week is to describe yourself using only fruits and vegetables... interesting concept - so even though I'm a day late - I had to post this one!! Go over to Jenn's blog and read her answers and concept... then write your own post. Let us both know what you think about our answers too!

1) Avocado - I tend to be mushy... I love all things romantic. Small gifts, acts of service, words of affirmation... I'm pretty much a sucker for it all. I also am shaped like an avocado for the most part - smaller on top - larger and rounder on the bottom.

2) Zucchini - Fairly subtle and doesn't really do much on it's own... but goes with everything. I basically can blend and get along with most people without much trouble - I can hang for a while and don't make waves.

3) Peach - sweet and drippy. HAHAHA! No really, I get so attached to people that I get sappy really easily and attached to friendships of people that I've never even met. I also miss them when it's the weekend or whatever and we don't talk like we'd regularly talk. Since Jenn also mentioned her skin... mine is pretty much like a peach - soft, full, flawless... but it does bruise easily.

4) Strawberry - another sweet one, but the reason I can relate to this one is that you never see a strawberry standing on it's own. They come in packages with their friends, family, spouse... ect. That's me... I rarely go anywhere alone (except the grocery store and occasionally Target) because I'd much rather be sharing life with someone else.

5) Spinach - can sometimes be gritty and raw... or soft and cooked... this is SO me. Depending on what is happening - my personality and writing reflects it. This last week has been gritty and raw... but you already knew that.

There are my 5 - what are yours?

Love Dare 1

Our small group started the Love Dare a week ago, and it has been amazing in so many ways. I HIGHLY recommend it for every couple...

I'm going to share a bit of our experience, but please - PLEASE - don't take this information and try to do it without reading the actual book. That book explains how each Dare works, gives you the scripture to back up the activity, and is just generally the bigger picture in terms of the dare itself.

For us - we've found that it's helpful for us to be on different days of the Love Dare program as well - so I am a day ahead of him.

We've done days 1-5, and it has been great!

Day 1 - the dare for this day is to "Resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse all day"

I'll be honest, I didn't feel very connected to this dare because I try my best not to say anything negative to John on a regular basis. I did watch myself though for the day and if he asked me to get him something - I did it happily and without sighing. Sometimes when life gets hard - it is easy to want to retreat from everything and not be bothered to help anyone around you. I really focused on being a wife that serves with a happy heart on the first day.

Day 2 - the dare for this day is "In addition to saying nothing negative, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness."

I'm not sure that I did very well on this one - I tried to continue on with being a servant to my husband with a happy heart. He on the other hand did some amazing things... while I worked out - he cleaned the kitchen, started a bath for me, and watered the hibiscus plants out front. I was so grateful and amazed - I absolutely adore when John does things like this... I don't know what it is but the simplest things can mean the most to me. I mean just the bath part alone was out of the ordinary and made me feel so loved and special. The other two, really - he's done before, and they are great helpful things.

He really is a perfect compliment to me - in that where I am tired or chores that I loathe - he will pick up and carry those things. I do the same for him - or at least try to. A perfect example of this is with cleaning our kitchen... I don't like emptying the dishwasher - and absolutely HATE emptying the clean silverware... (I've been known to just rewash it - instead of putting it away) John doesn't mind these things though - so he tends to do them regularly. He doesn't like on the other hand having to wash the pots and pans... I don't mind that as much - so I do that most of the time. It's a good balance...

Day 3 - the dare for today is "Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says 'I was thinking of you today'" The idea here is that whatever you invest your time, money and energy in will become more important to you.

I racked my brain on this one - because really - John is a simple guy and his interests are more in terms of experiences had together and or time... he doesn't really have a lot of little things that he enjoys.... like my Starbucks habit or anything like that. So instead, I got him some boxers and the movie Flywheel - the boxers mainly because he needed them for his treatment plan... and the movie because we enjoy movies, and this was the first one done by the makers of Facing the Giants and Fireproof.

He bought me the most beautiful flowers... see below. He also got us some new flowers to plant in the back yard - so look for pictures of that once we get the yard work done tomorrow. The flowers are beautiful!

Day 4 - the dare for this day is "to contact your spouse at some point in the day to check on how they are doing and see if there is anything you can do for them."

I royally botched this one - because this was the day that all heck broke loose at the office... so I didn't get a chance to call him most of the day, so I sent him an email asking if there was anything I could do for him. He'd already left the office to go out in search of those flowers... so I missed it. I did ask him in the car on the way home, but he said that he just needed me to prepare the meal for our small group meeting... as we'd already planned.

He called me for his Day 4 and was very sweet... but you know - we talk quite a bit during the work day when we need help... so it's nothing new for him to seek to help me in areas of need.

Day 5 - the dare for this day is "Ask your spouse to tell you 3 things that cause them to be uncomfortable or irritated with you." The idea here is to not attack each other or to justify the behaviors... this is from their perspective only...

Once again, complete honesty here... I stressed about this one. Not because I thought John would be mean or anything like that - I just don't like the idea of bringing up people's faults. When I mentioned that this one might be hard... John immediately gave me one that he thinks I'd answer for him... 'the fact that he doesn't undress in one place... so there tends to be clothes all over the place' - the funny thing is that after being married for 7 and a half years... finding socks all over the house doesn't bother me anymore. It just is. When we first got married - it probably did bother me more... The only time it irritates me is when I find a pair that I missed while rounding up the laundry... you know like RIGHT when you finish all the laundry... and you turn a corner and there they are... LOVE that!

Anyway, he did good with his - I'm trying not to obsess over them. He did tell me them in the car on the way home from work - and brought snacks so that I could just eat a Cheese-It when I felt the need to justify. HAHAHAHA!

I've got to answer that for him today - YIKES - I really hate having to come up with things for him. And he totally won't let me use the laundry thing... but it really doesn't bother me.

That is about it for our first week... I'm working on Day 6 today, and will give a report next week for how the dares are working for us. I'm telling you though - I can already tell that there are positive things working in our marriage through this... and through the other marriages in our group. I look forward to watching us all get stronger in our relationships.

If you haven't gotten your own copy of the Love Dare - you really should. Or if you have it, but haven't really focused on using it - I really think you should... it will change your life in many ways for the better. You deserve it, your spouse deserves it, and you won't regret it! After all, next to a relationship with God - there is nothing more important than your spouse.

Full Circle

I'm apparently brilliant again... I don't know that this fully makes up for the craziness of the last week, but at least we can end on a brighter note.

It is exhausting working for women sometimes... I can't even begin to fully tell you how exhausting, but lets just say that I've always said that I'm not a fan of working for other women. Somehow - I like the continuity and stability of working for men. You pretty much always know what to expect with a man, and there aren't too many surprises. Or at least that has been my experience over the last 10 years.

Working from home has been great today - I've gotten some work done, I've worked out, and I made the grocery list for John to "hunt and gather" for me this morning. This frees us up for tomorrow to get some yard work done, and hopefully I'll be able to get some jewelry making done as well.

We've got a church party tomorrow night - so we'll see how early we get started on getting the yard work done as to if I'll make it up to the craft room.

I'm also excited because when I wrap up the working for the day - Renee and I are going to go do a little shopping for the evening. We're planning on heading to Ikea and Home Goods to look for some things for our houses... I'm looking for something to put on our entry way table for 11 months of the year. We'll have little L with us... so it'll be some fun girl time... and of course there will be some Sonic Happy Hour and dinner involved as well.

Praying for Peace

The words have escaped me for the most part today... it's been a tough day at the office... and of course personally - I'm still dealing with some residual anger over our situation. I'm telling you, when it rains - it pours around my world. It seems that the days that my professional world falls apart come shortly on the heels of a day that has been personally bad for me. So with that said... I'm basically going to share my prayer for today with you.

This is an extremely personal prayer, but since I have been told several times that my raw form of writing exactly what is going on from my heart... is inspirational, encouraging, or endearing... I feel like I need to share with you all why I have been extremely quiet the last couple of days. Or if quiet is the wrong word - at least disconnected from writing what is truly going on within me.

Dear God,

It is really hard for me to even speak to you at the moment. I know that through you all things are possible - I know that in my heart and in my brain... but right now - I can't seem to feel it. I want to live in the peace that you can provide, but I am struggling so badly with my human side at the moment. My human side is throwing a temper tantrum because I want what I want, and I want it now. The waiting is very hard, and the constant disappointment is even harder.

It feels so often like we've made progress with our fertility treatment plan, only to be blindsided and thrown back to the starting gate. It feels so unfair, and it makes me have thoughts that go against everything I believe. Thoughts about the lack of answered prayers... thoughts about if it's even possible that you might NOT grant the desire of my heart. God, I so desperately want to be a mother - and I don't know how to live in a world that is so baby centered while not having one myself.

I need you to bring me peace right now more than ever. Not only with the baby situation, but also with my work situation. Some days are so hard that it feels like I am in the wrong place, struggling uphill in a battle that I can't possibly win. A battle that I actually don't want to win. I am not of the mindset of the majority of the people at my office, and I don't want to be - You, John, our future children, our families, and our friends are the center of my life... and I wouldn't have it any other way. I am not a career oriented woman, you know that. I see it as a means to getting down to the things that I really love and want to invest my energy into... but that is so far from what everyone else there believes - that I am at constant odds with a perfectionism that is just irrational. I do the best I can with what I have, but I am not a mind reader. Please give my coworkers and boss the wisdom to know that, and the presence of mind to share with me the specifics of how they want things done before we waste time doing things incorrectly... or ramp up so much stress that there needs to be a blow up.

Ultimately, God; I need you right now in every situation. I am feeling very left out right now and very lost... and far from you. I desire nothing more than to live in your peace, but I need you to show me how to lay this at your feet and really know in my heart AND mind that you have it all under control. I'm terrified right now, and have been wondering if John and I will ever be given the ultimate gift of children. You know that we would take any child you would provide - so please show us the way to the children that you have chosen for us.

One thing that I do want to tell you is that the one bright light right now is the Love Dare challenge that our small group is going through. Your guidance and direction for the Kendrick brothers to have written such a powerful book for marriage is nothing short of a miracle. I'm not exactly comfortable with the dare for tomorrow, so give me some courage to go through that exercise and learn what I need to learn from it. I am such a sensitive woman sometimes - it is hard to ask someone to show me my faults and accept that criticism without trying to justify myself. Help me to rest in what John will share, and know that he only has my best interests at heart.

Lastly God, please know that while I am having this temper tantrum right now - I know that you are out there working in the lives of others that need you more than I do right now. Please hold all of my friends close to your heart in their various struggles... whether they are traveling, recovering from surgery, trying to conceive a baby of their own, pregnant with a baby, starting a new job, struggling with the loss of a loved one, struggling with the illness of a loved one, or going through a potential divorce - hold them in your hands, Lord... and give them the peace that I so desire as well.

In your name, I pray.
Amen

Alphabet

Is it wrong that sometimes I have to actually SING to make sure that I get the letters in order? Oh wow... I guess that might have been too much information.


True story - a couple of jobs ago - My office was actually also the file room, and people would stand there for a long time trying to figure out where they were supposed to look for a file... so I went to the teacher supply store and bought one of those kindergarten borders with the alphabet on it... and hung it up over the file cabinets. (Cause I'm passive aggressive like that!)


I saw this on several blogs recently, and thought it was a cool idea... and of course depending on the day - you could get different answers. Basically though - you come up with one word for each letter of the alphabet to describe yourself, a hobby, or anything else that comes to mind... and being the crazy overachiever that I can be... I'm going to explain how I got to the answers that I picked.


A - Anxiety, I'm feeling anxious waiting for the results of John's testing today... and ready to get moving on the fertility roller coaster again!


B - Baby, I'm sure this comes as no surprise to anyone - because seriously - not a moment passes that babies aren't on my mind...


C - Clean, My house is clean... and it was done by me. I know, it's nothing earth shattering, but there is something gratifying about doing it yourself. I know that the euphoria won't last long, but it was nice to get in there and get some things done.


D - Disgusting, A recipe I tried out yesterday... it wasn't for us - John got nauseated at the smell of it cooking, and when I tasted it - I had the same reaction. Apparently Paula Deen's Chicken Florentine isn't our thing... live and learn, right?


E - Exhausted, that is how I'm feeling this morning. I still didn't sleep very well last night, and desperately wanted to call in sick this morning... but I didn't. I fell asleep in the car on the way in though - so once again - thank God for carpooling with John.


F - Friends - I have made some of the most unexpected friends over the last year and a half... since joining our new church and really becoming a lover of all things blog related... I've met some amazing people. I know that God has put all of these strong people in my life - each for a different reason - and I can only hope that I am able to love and encourage them as much as they have for me.

G - Giving, it's Day 3 on our Love Dare challenge for me - and I'm supposed to give John a special gift that I've gotten for him... the idea is that you invest everything you have (finances and all) in your marriage... so I picked out a couple of special surprises for him on my lunch hour. Giving gifts is one of my favorite things to do... Christmas time is hard for me only because when I get the perfect gift - I can't wait to give it to the recipient.

H - Heat & Humidity - both are the name of the game in the summer down here in Houston... there are days that the humidity will hit you in the face like a brick wall the minute you open your front door. Oh and hair... having a style this time of year, fugetaboutit!

I - Infertility - right now, it is like a cruel joke. It just keeps repeating with the same results... and it's a daily struggle to pick myself up and keep moving forward.

J - John - awwww... I know, right?! Seriously though, John is my rock... he is my constant strength and companion. I love him more now than the day I met him, and I can't even imagine life without him.

K - KH Jewelry - I am very happy to see that my love of making jewelry hasn't completely left me. I haven't made it back up to the craft room to put anything new together yet, but it is certainly at the top of my list when I get a few free moments.

L - Love Dare - This just might be one of the best things we've ever done for our marriage. I HIGHLY recommend it to those that are in great marriages and those that are in troubled marriages equally. My belief is that every marriage can be better - no one is perfect - so put in the effort... your spouse is worth it!


M - Mocha - Starbucks Nonfat Cafe Mocha with no whip to be exact... oh yeah... nothing says good morning like a little coffee with your chocolate in the morning.

N - Nausea - I'm not even kidding when I tell you that I have the worst nausea! Which, yes - it does scare me that any pregnancy will bring some debilitating nausea my way... but hey... it's certainly worth it! Seriously though, it comes early and it comes often... I'd say that there isn't a week that goes by without me experiencing it at least once... and sometimes it comes and sticks around daily for SEVERAL weeks. It's weird... but totally true!


O - Ouch - Yeah, it's a stretch, but honestly - my muscles have never been used more than they have since starting my 30 Day Workout Challenge. It's honestly been the best thing I've ever done - it's a daily challenge, but I feel GREAT doing it. I think the best part is that the program I am using - the workouts are only about 20 minutes long... but I feel like I'm getting the most out of those 20 minutes. I hope that once this month is over - I'll step in and keep going with the medium level for 30 days, and then the hard level for 30 days... then maybe I'll be ready to hit the open road for some running. Jogging around my kitchen area is fun and all... but I'd love to have the confidence to hit the open road. (Oooh... Open Road could have been my O-word)


P - Priorities - the older I get, the more clear it is to me that my priorities are FAR from those of society. I could care less about career... but am passionate about my faith, husband, and having family... the career/job thing is just a means to an end for me... it provides the money so that the things I care about can be nurtured.


Q - Quiet Time - I know that I don't spend as much quiet time as I would like with God, does anyone? The thing though is that I've learned a lot over the last few months that it is only through Him that I have the strength to carry through with my struggles. I try to draw nearer to him in the tough times, and I know that his plans are far greater than any I could imagine... I'm just ready to start living them.


R - Ring - As in my wedding ring... which I've been wearing on my middle finger for a little over a year now. I need to get it resized and redipped in white gold, but I just can't bear to be away from it for a few days without a spare.


S - Scrapbooking - No big surprise here, but I really do enjoy it when I allow myself some time to play with the paper, pictures, stickers, and Cricut machine. I have the small Cricut right now, but on our list of purchases after our fertility treatments are over - is the bigger Cricut Expression... unless it makes an appearance on my Christmas list before we buy it.

T - Take It or Leave It - that's pretty much my attitude about this blog... I have learned so much about myself through the writing of this blog. It's my place to say things out loud that I couldn't ever say in person. It's the place where the real me is put out there unfiltered... for better and for worse. (Okay, a little filtering happens - but it really is a lot of "stream of consciousness" writing happens) So, in my opinion, if you don't like what I have to say - don't read it... but I'm still going to write it. The other amazing thing about that is that everyone I know in person has been invited to read this blog - and that doesn't inhibit me in any way... I find that odd at times.


U - Unsweet Iced Tea - Mainly from Sonic, but I love iced tea of any form... now before you think I'm nuts... I don't actually drink it unsweet - but I add Splenda instead of drinking straight sugar.

V - Vacation - Oh yeah, I'm needing one in a BIG way. I'm trying to find a day or two to take off in the next few weeks, but I have an intern starting on Tuesday... so it'll just be a Friday that I can take off because I'll have to be here to supervise him all summer. Ideally, I would have taken a 4 day weekend this weekend, BUT I have to come in on Sunday for a Summer Intern Program Kickoff Event (seriously?!) so I didn't want to ruin my time off by having to work in the middle of it.


W - Women - I don't think I will ever again, if given the choice, work for a woman. The jobs where I have worked for women have been the most unstable for me emotionally... I guess for me, men don't feel that they have as much to prove... and they won't step on you to prove that they are capable of their jobs. I respect that, and I would rather deal with that on a daily basis.


X - X-Rays - seriously, this letter was REALLY hard... but since I'm an old pro at the ER visit... I'll just say that there probably isn't a part of my body at this point that hasn't been x-rayed or scanned in some form or fashion over the last 10 years.


Y - Yard - Magically, I've learned to embrace yard work. Now, that being said... it's in moderation. (Why can't I learn moderation in other areas?!) I enjoy mowing the grass - but that can be done in a matter of a half hour or so... and that's about my limit. Especially with my skin burning so easily... it's just about the limit before I get a burn.


Z - Zydeco music - I've found that even though, I have ZERO Cajun blood in my system... and I loathe seafood... I love the fun and the sound of zydeco music. Nothing says party like that to me.

That's the alphabet according to Kim... it's a lot harder than you think to write this... some letters got me stuck... so I had to google "things that start with Y" to figure out something that would trigger me. HAHAHAHA!

Anyone else out there want to write one of these? Let me know - I'd love to see what you come up with.

On Hold

You know the signs that are in every amusement park around the globe showing you the minimum height requirement to ride most dangerous rides?


You know - the one that when you get close to the right height, you pray that you'll be over so that you'll finally be able to experience the ride instead of having to sit on the sidelines of the fun?


Well, once again - John and I are too short to jump on the roller coaster of parenthood.

The doctor's office called this morning with his test results... and while most of them are good. There are some that fall just short of where our doctor wants them to be - so John has to go into treatment of sorts for the next month. Which really means 4 weeks of "treatment" and then another week of waiting for the results to come back and tell us if we can move forward - or if we're back on another 5 weeks of waiting.

This isn't how this morning was supposed to go... I was prepared to be ordering injections and moving forward with this cycle... but once again - we're being told that we have to sit on the sidelines and wait until we reach the height requirement.

This picture is the nicest way I can show how I feel right now... I'm ticked. I'm hurt. I'm angry. I'm sad. I'm depressed. I'm impatient. I'm frustrated. I'm completely overwhelmed.

I'm so angry that right now it seems like God hasn't listened to a single prayer that I've said. Rationally, I know that isn't true - but today - in this moment - that is exactly how it feels. I'm not interested in reading anything else about how wonderful God is today - and how he's going to deliver us to our perfect plan in him... I'm just not in that place. I'm feeling more like a 2 year old in the middle of a tantrum... and that's where I'm going to remain as long as I need to.


I don't share this with you all because I want some sort of scripture references to read - because today is just not the day for those types of comments. Believe me, it won't be received well. Today I'm needing prayer, and love... and a knowledge that people understand how I feel, and that they are there to listen. I'm not saying that I am ready, willing or able to talk at the moment...

Funny thing is - I had a fleeting thought this morning about getting back perfect results on John's testing... and feeling hurt that it's always me with the problems... I guess I thought that I might be relieved to know that I'm not completely alone in the broken body merry-go-round... but I don't feel that at all. I just feel broken, sad, and hurt for both of us. So, here I sit trying to figure out how to tell my wonderful husband that he has to actually use the frozen peas... I guess on the bright side for him is that for the next month - he's been given medical clearance to avoid: extreme heat (I guess I'll be helping out by mowing) and any form of heavy exercise... does the treadmill count?