Perspective

Something has been going through my mind for a while, but it wasn't until this weekend that I realized.)  other women out there have had these same thoughts before too. What have I been thinking, you ask? Well, call me crazy... but I've been feeling some guilt because of being pregnant.

I didn't say it was completely rational, but I've been feeling like I'm robbing James of being able to be the only grandson for his grandparents for a couple of years... son for John & I... and just in general like I'm cheating him out of something.

We had lunch with some old friends yesterday, and she told me about when she was pregnant with her younger son that she felt like she was cheating on the older one. That was EXACTLY how I have been feeling... and it was so freeing to know that I'm not just neurotic. (Okay, I am... but on this one I'm not alone.)

I guess that I just want James to know that from the bottom of our hearts - we wouldn't change a single thing in the world about waiting for him, or how he came into our lives. We love him as if he grew in my tummy too - only he grew in our hearts LONG before he became a part of our family. We think he is perfect... and I even found myself standing in the kitchen a few minutes ago looking at him and wondering in amazement how we got here.

How did that fantastically adorable boy get to be mine?

Laughing at his MawMaw... I'm still working on getting a photo of his dimple on the right side!

Sleeping on Daddy

My boys... aren't they cute?

Sooooo... anyone else out there had any irrational thoughts while pregnant? Anyone have a fetus in their body that leans on bones - because mine is leaning on my pelvic bone and causing me to walk like my right hip is out of socket.

Soy is the Stuff

I thought you might be wondering how things are going with the second major formula change in James' short little 11 weeks of life...

Can I just tell you that he is doing GREAT!! It's like having a whole different baby... he is so much happier, more smiley, and feedings are going much easier. I'm counting this as one of the best choices we've made to date.

It's amazing - I always thought there was something weird about the Sensitive formula because when you use the powder - it foams up WAY more than the regular ever did... so that's when we started stirring his bottles instead of shaking them up. Of course it's also because the Dr. Brown's bottles say not to shake the formula up in them... and we're direction followers for the most part. So it was really nice to see that the soy doesn't foam up at all - so he's not nearly as gassy... and when he does have some - he doesn't seem to be in as much pain. 

For a while before we switched he started screaming about halfway through his bottles and you'd have to give him at least a 20 minute break before even attempting to continue with the feeding. Poor little guy - he was just so miserable. At first we all thought that he was upset because he wasn't getting the formula fast enough so we tried moving to the #2 nipples for his bottles... but as it turns out - that wasn't it at all. It's times like this that you wish they could talk to you so you can try to figure out what is going on in their little bodies.

He even goes to sleep now smiling a lot more than he did before - I'm going to try to get some video of it tonight if I'm not wiped out completely. James & Tyler (tee hee) got John a Flip video camera for Father's Day - so I'm going to see if I can at least get some proof that this little boy has one of the sweetest smiles with ONE dimple that you've ever seen.

The day after we made the switch - we showed up to Mrs. Amanda's house to pick him up after work, and he was watching Baby Einstein with her... and talking to the video... so cute! We're ordering him some for home too - and I'm thinking he can probably start trying out his Bumbo soon too. We'll just have to see - because I want to make sure he can hold his neck up enough that he can sit there for a few minutes.

It's crazy to think that in about 2 weeks (he'll be 13 weeks at that point) he will be 1/4 of a year old... how did it happen so fast?!

Am I the only one that finds the days long, but the weeks/months/years going by too fast? I guess nothing prepares you for that like parenthood... WOW! I find myself thinking that 11 weeks is a LONG time, but when you put it in perspective of 2 months & 3 weeks... it's really not that long at all. I do the same thing with the pregnancy... because 17 weeks seems so long to wait... but knowing that by next Friday, I'm entering my 6th month... it's scary how quickly it will be here. (At least if I don't melt in this summer heat!)

I'd better get going - my niece is on her way to spend the morning making cakeballs with me... so I'll attempt to get some good pictures of us working... and some photos/video of James to share with you too.

Don't forget to enter the Summer Giveaway... follow the link at the top of the page - under my header.

Summer Fun Giveaway

As earlier promised... it's time for another giveaway! The folks from CSN stores have asked me to host another giveaway - and I loved the prizes I offered last time... so I thought we'd give someone else a chance to win their choice of some of the coolest prizes ever.

Before we get to the details on how you can win... you should check out CSN and their 200 stores online selling everything from cookware to baby products to platform beds.

Now, I know what your next question is... what were the prizes again?

Rachel Ray's "Bubble & Brown" 2 piece Stoneware baker set in green

Total Chef Deluxe Double Treat Ice Cream Maker

Le Creuset 9" Square Baking Dish with bonus 5" Baking Dish in Caribbean

I know there is at least one of these that you'd love to have in your kitchen... if not all three of them! So the deal is that I'll pick a winner at the end of the giveaway, and the awesome folks over at CSN will email you the promotion code to order the prize of your choice! (The cost of the item and the shipping is included)

How do you enter?

** Only entries submitted in separate comments will be counted

*** Comments answering multiple questions in one will not be counted

- 1 entry for leaving a comment telling me which of the three items you'd choose and why.

- 1 entry for leaving a comment telling me what you'd make with your winning item - and seriously...it would be cruel to not leave a link to said recipe or tell us how to make it! 

- 1 entry for blogging about this giveaway

- 1 entry for tweeting or posting this giveaway on Facebook - ask your readers to reference you in their entry... and I will give the 3 people with the most references an extra entry! 

- 1 entry for being a follower of Faith, Grace, & Giggles

That's it folks - you have until Friday, July 2nd to get your entries in and get all of your friends to enter to see who wins the extra entries!!

Poor Buddy

We've taken the plunge again to change James' formula... we're now trying Similac Isomil Soy - our third option after Similac Advanced, and Similac Sensitive... hopefully this will be the answer to getting a feeding in and James not being miserable.

The poor little guy came home from the hospital having terrible fits of gas and at his two week appointment we changed him over to the Similac Sensitive - which oddly enough foams up even more than the original formula. So we had to take to stirring his bottles gently rather than shaking them up. We've gone about 8 weeks on the Sensitive, but about a week or two ago - he started getting really fussy in the middle of his feedings.

By really fussy - I mean he'd scream bloody murder if you put the bottle back in his mouth before he'd had about a 10 minute break. He's also been fairly gassy again - and just generally seems to not be eating as well... and for a growing boy - he needs to be increasing his intake not barely getting in the status quo. 

So we've tried one bottle of the soy formula tonight, and will see how the next couple of days go... I know he's still got the other formula in his system and has had a really rough day today - poor Miss Amanda! 

We've luckily been planning a trip to Sam's to get our stockpile of formula for the next month for the end of this week - so now we'll have a couple of days to see if we should stockpile the soy based formula over the sensitive. 

It's a crazy ride, and a small part of me will feel guilty for not changing him sooner if we see a drastic improvement - BUT I guess you do the best you can. I just hate for him to be uncomfortable or in pain for even a second if I can help alleviate that in any way. We talked about it for a few minutes tonight before deciding to make the change - and both thought that we'd rather throw away some formula than have him hurt anymore. 

Thankfully the StrongMoms group (Similac's sample and coupon group) sent us a small can of the soy as a part of our welcome gift - so that is what we're using to see how he does. Say a little prayer that by buddy starts enjoying his mealtimes more, and has more comfort and relief from all the bubbles in his system.

***Get your bloggy fingers ready - I'm launching another ROCKIN giveaway tomorrow... it'll be similar to the one where you got to choose the prize... actually the same prizes for the most part... so anyone interested in winning the Le Creuset bakeware, Rachel Ray bakeware, or an ice cream maker... be ready to get your entries in!!

Special Gift

Over the last few weeks, we've gotten a few very cool handmade gifts - everything we've gotten has been wonderfully generous... but something about handmade items just make them a little bit more special. I guess it is the love that goes into making it - and the little piece of the giver that stays with the item.

Recently, one of those gifts arrived from some friends of ours... and the item is so gorgeous - I just have to share it with you.

Our friends Danielle & Seth sent over a beautiful quilt that Danielle made for James... she is so incredibly talented! We are so lucky to have such special people in our lives, even if they don't live close to us anymore... John and Seth used to work together... and of course Danielle and I would hang out at the company Christmas parties every year... and we did get together one other time before they moved away. On top of being incredible with quilting - she is an AMAZING cook too!

If it weren't for this blog - we probably wouldn't still be in contact - or at least not on the level that we are... so here is to the small world that we can create through the internet.

So, you want to see what she made??

Isn't it beautiful? To see more of her amazing quilts... you can visit her blog, Nacho Mama's Quilt - please stop by and give her some love!

Confessions

John will love that I'm telling this story - because he got such a kick out of it yesterday. He just about giggled the entire way home from work about it...

What was so funny, you might ask?? Well, I'll tell ya.

I didn't realize it at the time but apparently the ultrasound folks can zoom in and zoom out on the images you see during the scan... and I was a little preoccupied with pain and smashing going on... and contorting my body so that the lady could get the proper images.

Well, I remember seeing the image that was the one where she told us that Tyler was in fact a boy... and it was QUITE obvious what we were looking at...

A few minutes later, we were watching her measure the major bones in the legs and things... and well, his femur looked smaller to me than his boy parts... and I was a little worried that our baby might be a mutant.

It was at this point, through laughing so hard he was crying that John told me about the zoom feature of the images... UGH! I hate it when I have those moments of missing things... which happens more often than not when I'm being poked or prodded by some sort of medical professional.

Sadly the ultrasound lady had zero personality - so she couldn't enjoy our humor... oh well, we thought we were funny.

What is the last incredibly silly/embarrassing/ditzy thing you've done lately? Mine seem to be happening more and more often - and getting more and more off the wall every day! I blame it on the pregnancy, but I don't know if that's even fair.

As I sit here, I'm looking over to see one of the sweetest sights that I could ever imagine... my boys both asleep in the recliner... there is nothing more sweet than that!

Short & To the Point

I am 110% exhausted tonight - I don't know what the deal is, but these ultrasounds are killer. I'm talking PAINFUL...and I never thought that was possible. Our anatomy scan went really well today - all looks good with the baby... everything is measuring right where it is supposed to and our due date didn't change at all.

We go back on Friday to see my doctor for our regular monthly check up, which I'm not sure what she'll do if anything... but I'm glad to know things are progressing well. I don't know if it's just me or if all women have anxiety about these appointments... I just sit there and wait to get some glimpse that the baby is alright... so I won't know what to do on Friday if there is nothing like that. Maybe she'll at least let us hear the heart beat again?

That is the one thing that I've been surprised the most about all of this - we've only actually HEARD the heart beat one time... we've seen it each time, but only actually have been able to hear it once - at our very first appointment. Is that weird?

So without further delay... would you like to know what Baby #2 is??

Well, James is thrilled to announce that he will have a baby BROTHER in October. Baby Tyler will be here to join our family very soon, and we are thrilled. I have to say that I was hoping for a little girl, but I am just glad that he is healthy...

It cracks me up because I have 5 nieces already - so John figures that someone had to try to help level things out for the grandchildren's generation... funny that the one person that can't be out in the sun will be spending years and years getting sunburns at the ballpark with my boys! It will certainly be an education for me... but I'm ready to see what fun we have in store for us, and maybe at some point in the future - we can throw in a little pink and some dolls too.

First Family Vacation

The weekend before I went back to work - John surprised James and I by taking Friday off from work and planning a small family vacation for us! We didn't go far, but got away for a night to just spend time together and enjoy being a family.

We went to Washington on the Brazos, on a tour of the Blue Bell Creamery, and to stay in College Station...aka the home of Texas A&M University - where we both went to school...AND where James will be in the Fightin' Texas Aggie Class of 2032... preferably in the Fightin' Texas Aggie Band (B-Battery)

I wish I got a few more photos of us... like a photo or two of James staying in his first hotel room, but I sadly wasn't feeling great and didn't think of it. It was a great little hotel though - and they even had a Starbucks in the lobby... if only the thought of a Starbucks didn't make me nauseated right now.

James did great - sleeping in his pack & play for the first time, and spending lots of time in his carseat... and can I just say to the makers of infant carseats... how about some air flow, yo?! Poor little kids get so hot in there - especially when it's 100 degrees outside... but honestly there is zero airflow on their backs... it's sad, really. I mean put in a little vent or something to give them a break.

Lets get to the photos, shall we?

James and I during our picnic at Washington on the Brazos State Park

Another of me loving on my little boy... 

Hanging out waiting for our tour of Blue Bell to start... and for those of you that don't have the benefit of living in the South where Blue Bell is king... you NEED to come get a taste of the best ice cream on the planet! 

Of course we bought him a shirt to commemorate his first vacation

The boys with one of the old Blue Bell delivery vehicles

The boys in front of a replica of the Texas Aggie Ring... it's a gorgeous ring that is very steeped in tradition and symbolism. What's interesting to me about this though is that when I was a senior at A&M, I was in charge of the largest event on campus called Ring Dance. (it's like 7 proms in one major event with different catering and bands playing in each area) It is the event where you celebrate reaching the end of your time at A&M and the achievement of earning your ring... and part of the event is that you take your picture underneath a large ring like this. So it was sort of fun to see a big giant ring like that again. 

Of course anyone that knows John knows that he is PASSIONATE about Aggie Football, and there is certainly no chance that James won't grow up watching tons and tons of games at this very stadium... so we had to get his picture taken there while we were in town. 

On top of these stops - we also made it to the bookstore and bought James $100 worth of Aggie merchandise for him to wear and have in his room. So it was a very successful trip... we made it home last Saturday afternoon in time to relax and "hermit" ourselves in for the last 36 or so hours of Mommy's maternity leave.

Once again, don't forget to vote in the poll on baby #2's gender before we find out what we're having!! We do have first names picked out for a boy and a girl... and are working on a middle name for the boy name... so all will be revealed on Tuesday night or Wednesday morning!

Long Overdue

I have no excuse as to why it has taken me this long to get posts up with photos, but I'll just beg for forgiveness - because that's all I can do.

We had two other baby showers during the month of May... 1 given by my family and the other given by a dear friend for all of our church friends. So here are some photos from those.

May 18th Shower given by my Dad, Stepmother (Lynne), and sisters - Cathi & Cindy. It was a lot of fun...

My sister, Cindy, brought these adorable cupcakes from Dallas with her... and I LOVED them! 

James and I visiting with friends

Aunt Cindy and Cousin Taylor with James

My Dad with his first grandson - don't they look cute together?

Our next shower was on May 22nd - at our church given by James' Aunt Danielle... 

Brownie Bites with booties... adorable... and TASTY! 

John's parents with their first grandson... so cute! 

Danielle is really crafty - and I just loved these... and the baskets... there are three of them with different animals. 

A close up of the prayer magnets that Danielle made for us... does she "GET" me or what - argyle... love it!

Just a few photos of the celebrations for James coming into our family... I didn't really include any of us opening gifts - because well... lets just say that I'm not a fan of any photo that shows me sitting down right now... or my tummy... or anything with a double chin... HA! 

Don't forget to vote in the poll (top middle of the page) on what the gender of Baby #2 will be... the big reveal will be on Tuesday night or Wednesday morning!

1 Down, 19 To Go

Well, that's right... 1 work week down, 19 to go until baby #2 arrives... if they go to the due date. This week has been the hardest I've experienced in a LONG time. I just was not prepared for the onslaught of emotions that would come from leaving James with someone else for 90% of his waking hours.

We certainly chose someone that we trust with James, but whew! There was just a flood of crying and waves of emotions that possibly had something to with me being pregnant at the same time... but I'm an emotional girl, so maybe not. I ran the entire range - from feeling like a bad mother to just missing him so much that it ached.

I had somehow deluded myself into thinking that it might not be so bad because I'd always been fine with leaving him at home with John... but it is something different. The first couple of days were the worst - and at the same time James and his sitter were getting to know each other while adjusting. So, changes in how he was fed and things like that made him a little fussier than he had been for a while.

By the end of the day on Wednesday though, we were getting the hang of things... and even with John having worship team practice - James and I had a great night at home together. From there - it's been a bit more bearable. I do have to tell a funny story about that night though...

We put James' bathtub on the kitchen counter near the sink to give him a bath, and when I put him in it that night - the warm water caused him to pee - like a fountain up over the side of the tub and into the sink. I about died laughing... ahhhhh, the joys and hysteria of parenthood.

As I finished up my first week back at work, John spent the morning taking the little buddy to his 2 month doctor's appointment. 4 shots later... my poor little guy is hanging in there. He goes through periods of being fussy, and we're keeping him on Tylenol... but overall he did well. James now weighs in at 11 pounds 15 ounces... and he's now up to 22 inches. That puts him in about the 55th percentile for weight, and 15th for height. The good thing is that he's hit the magic number according to our doctor - so we can start weaning him off of his nighttime feeding. WAH HOO!

On Tuesday, we go in for my 20 week anatomy scan for baby #2 and should know the gender when we leave there. So, I thought it might be fun up until we know for sure - to let you guys weigh in on what YOU think the gender is... so vote in the poll below and we'll see if you guys have predicted correctly in a few days!

Mind Your Business

I felt the need to tell you guys a little story from Monday's adventures in employment... this was from just a random coworker - so it's nothing to get too upset over...

Upon hearing the news that I'm expecting baby #2 she immediately asked me why I didn't just come back to work as soon as I found out about the baby. My initial reaction was probably flamed by some sort of crazy look on my face, but I just got instantly protective of James.

Just because I'm pregnant now, does that mean that James deserved any less bonding time with his mother? I certainly don't think so. He deserves the best of what I have to give, and for 8 weeks - I was going to give it to him, and continue to do so for the remainder of his life.

Does it also make the adjustment of going from no baby to having a newborn any easier? I certainly think NOT! People told me a billion times that having a baby is hard work - but it's just not something you understand until you are faced with that reality... and honestly... the last 8 1/2 weeks have been the hardest and most exhausting of my life... and there is NO way that I could have functioned at the office any earlier than now. Even now is questionable at times.

I am just dumbfounded by the things that people will say to others sometimes without thinking about what they are saying... and granted - I'll give her that I'm extra sensitive right now because I'm a hot mess of hormones and emotions... but honestly!

Another thing that is making me nuts lately is when people find out that the kids will be 6 months apart - they say something like "Wow, it's like having twins." I know that John and I both give them strange looks because no - it's really nothing like having twins. (And I certainly think that either way is difficult) Think about it... when you have twins - the difficulty is there but you've got two of them going through the same stage at the same time.

When you're done with middle of the night feedings... you're done until you choose to have another kiddo... well, with us it'll be different. We'll have one getting out of that stage just in time for the next one to come along and be starting up in that same stage. Sort of like crawling - we'll just be getting James on his feet and then #2 will be trailing behind quickly. Or any other stage of child development.

So it's actually not like having twins... it's like having two kids 6 months apart! GAH! I totally understand that people don't know what to say, but like at other times I've mentioned that sometimes it's just better to smile and not say anything - this would be one of those times. Just tell me that it's an incredible blessing and move on to hear more about it as things develop.

Ok, end of rant... I'm feeling very vocal today - can't you tell? HAHAHA!

Can you beat us?

So my friend Jenn, and I were chatting today... a continuation of a conversation that started a while back about desperate eating habits. You know, those times in your life where you're so hungry - you'd do something out of the ordinary and eat a random item.

Mine? A pat of butter...

Hers? Some dry apple cinnamon oatmeal mix...

What can we say - desperate times call for desperate measures... Sooooo, in the spirit of transparency... what have YOU eaten in your desperate times? Can you beat us?

Vote for James!

James' newborn photographer has entered one of his images in a contest... and he needs your vote. He could be her next featured baby on her business cards... plus we'd win some prizes! Please go to to her website here, and vote for image #3... my sweet little man!

Tough Day

Plenty of tears were shed this morning as we dropped off the little man at our sitter's house. Whew... I never knew it would be THAT hard to leave him. From the looks of a photo on Facebook and the status updates from Amanda (our sitter) - it looks like he's having a much easier day that I am - which is good.

It's interesting because I can think back to some days where I wondered about the sanity of what we'd done to change our lives... and then the last few days as the reality of having to go back to work became a painful reminder of just how in 8 short weeks... James has become one of the two most important people in my life.

Eight weeks ago - life was incredibly different... it was entirely of our own making and there wasn't a baby... much less a second baby on the horizon... but it was emptier. Babies at 8 weeks old can't do much... but boy when they give you on of those smiles or snuggle up to you for a nap... trust me when I tell you that you're as good as done in that moment.

As of right now - there are only 3.5 more hours until I get to leave to see that little guy again, and I can't wait!

In other news, any of you that have been around a while won't be shocked to hear that nothing at my office has changed in the slightest little bit - same old stuff. Which I guess is hard because I've changed so profoundly - I think that I just expect too much sometimes from the people that I am surrounded by. Meaning that I typically expect them to act human, but rarely is that the case.

The news of baby #2 did not go over very well... but what can you do? He/She is coming in October and there isn't anything anyone can do about it... it's a miracle and if they can't be happy about it - that's their loss, right?

I will try to get you guys caught up with photos and things as soon as I can... bare with me as we try to get into a routine this week!

#Twag Sale

My friend Pam over at The Accessory Whore is participating in an awesome opportunity this Saturday!! It's called a #Twag Sale - it's where women everywhere are coming together to clean out their closets and scores some good deals.

Do you have anything in your closet that still has the tags on it? Shoes you had to buy - but haven't ever worn? Join in on the fun this Saturday and clean out your closet... you never know someone else out there might have something that will be just the thing to complete YOUR wardrobe!

Pop on over and check out the details on all the fun at The Accessory Whore - you won't regret it!

Better Late than Never - Winners

Alright guys - I'm sooooo sorry that I'm running so late on getting these winners chosen and posted. The weekend just got away from me, and this morning has been a giant mess.

I was supposed to go for blood work this morning first thing (fasting) but couldn't find my lab slip. I called my doctor's office when they first opened, and they asked me to call the lab because they send the slips over electronically as well as sending you with the hard copy... so I called two different collection sites only to be placed on hold for about 15 minutes at each site - with no one being able to figure out their computers this morning. Whatever!

So by the time I was done with the phone calls - it was time to feed James, and I decided to just go to the location next to my doctor's office (a 35 minute drive from the house) so that if they couldn't pull up the order - at least I was only across the hall from the doc's office.

In the meantime - I noticed that the numbness that I've been having just above my left knee was worse this morning. It was spreading down my left leg to my foot, and also was happening in my left arm as well. So I called both of my doctors to figure out what they thought I should do. One doctor thinks it is probably muscular... and my OB thinks that I need to watch it - if it gets worse or really starts tingling... then she wants me to go immediately to the ER and have them get me in to see a neurologist. Joy!

That's pretty much our day up to this point... the little mister is getting upset... so I'd better make it quick on the announcement.

The winner of the $40 gift card to KH Jewelry is #74 Beth! (Just email me and let me know what item you'd like me to ship out to you, and the address to ship it to.) 
The winner of the $10 gift card to Starbucks is #59 Diana! (Email me with your address to let me know where to send your gift card.)

I hope everyone had a good time with this giveaway - and that I'll be able to do another one soon. Please help me by giving me some more ideas on how to get my new name out there to more and more folks... I'd love to get any and all help I can... since I'm going to soon be able to blog more regularly!