Vlogs and a BIG SO WHAT

Well, I've decided to jump off a cliff and do another vlog... I'm linking up with House of Rose today and am also linking up with So What Wednesday on Life After I Dew.

It's a bit of a stretch on Shannon's link up, but I have the total attitude of So What Wednesday here - and I thought I'd just give it a whirl anyway. Truly, SO WHAT if my house is a wreck. SO WHAT if my kids are sick. SO WHAT if the kitchen needs serious scrubbing. SO WHAT if I haven't had a good nights sleep in DAYS. SO WHAT if I've got a hundred and sixty things to do for my businesses - Scentsy launch/Stella & Dot relaunch is tomorrow... I'm going to sit down and do something for me... post something on this here little blog of mine.

I've missed you guys... so here is a little bit of what I'm thankful for... and a little craziness from holding two toddlers while trying to vlog! Enjoy!

I have no idea what happened with my first video... but here is a bonus video because the audio was wonky and went out... video number two is just me - here you go!

I'll be danged if it doesn't go out at the end here too - I'll get my technical support (aka John) to look at it and see if there is something weird going on for next week. Sorry ladies!!

We are super unsophisticated over here - because Momma doesn't know how to edit... so you're watching it just as it happened, and I hope it'll make you laugh and get to know me a bit better. We had a super epic meltdown over here as soon as I turned off the camera... so at least I spared you that! If any of you do a vlog too, let me know - because I'd love to see it.

Whoa Nelly

I'm taking a moment to tell you guys about this monster headache that has plagued me now for two days. It's completely nuts.

Have you ever dealt with toddlers while wanting to curl up in the fetal position while sitting in a quiet dark room? You know that headache where you literally feel like if someone breathes in your general direction you might just crumble under the pressure... that's the one.

Today I'm resorting to Midol and a large Sonic iced tea... neither seem to be touching the pain. I can't tell if it's more a hormone issue or if it has more to do with the weather being completely bi-polar this year. Either way - it stinks and I'm ready for it to be over.

It makes me want to spend nap time with my eyes closed, but I really have things to get done... but today, I'm giving in... I'm saying "uncle" and going to lay down while the boys are down for their naps. I'm going to pray that the activities I have planned for them keep them entertained enough during the awake hours to keep them relatively quiet and occupied.

It's times like this that being a stay at home Mom sucks. There really aren't any sick days... and you're pretty much on call at a moment's notice all day long. I certainly wouldn't trade the job for anything in the world, but today - I kinda wish that we had a day care to take them to so that momma could take something stronger than Midol or Tylenol to combat this pounding in my head.

What are your best headache remedies?

Convinience Foods

My sister will be thrilled if she sees this post, because she has been trying to educate our family on food related issues for years. I will be the first to tell you that I likely will not jump off the deep end entirely, but as a mother and a wife... and really a person... it's time to take a look at what I'm putting into my family as well as my own body.

It's no secret that our society is plagued with a lot of issues that weren't around 20-30 years ago... I can't tell you without a doubt that it is related to the food industry or anything specific, but we certainly have become a society built around convenience. As a mother of two very busy toddler boys... I gotta say that time savers are a beautiful thing, but at the same time - not at the expense of their health.

I also won't tell you that the food industry is the enemy... I don't believe that entirely. First and foremost, the food industry is our livelihood in this house - John works for a rice company, and while they don't produce a lot of things that have a lot of added preservatives - it is where our means of income comes from. Now, in the grand scheme of things - rice is a fairly unchanged product from the field to the store. His company does make instant products, but that's more of a means of precooking it and then dehydrating it - there isn't much added. The spice mixes and things that are added are fairly simple as well. (Agree or don't, that's fine - but I'm just stating my beliefs)

When I woke up yesterday morning, this video was in my inbox from a friend back home. It is pretty convicting in terms of certain foods and it got me to thinking about what I put in my body. The experiment shown in the video basically takes you through the digestion of Ramen Noodles and Gatorade... versus homemade items being processed in the body. Ya'll, I've eaten Ramen Noodles within the last month... so I'm certainly not preaching about anything that I haven't done... and it's made me think about it in a whole new light.




Sadly, one of our favorite recipes uses Ramen Noodles - so I'm going to have to figure that out. I'm thinking that maybe in extreme moderation - it might be okay for our family. (You have to choose your own limits) If I can figure out an alternative over time - maybe I can make that change too.

After watching this video, what were my thoughts? Well, I've been seeing things popping up on Pinterest lately about alternatives to buying mixes and things in the grocery store... and I'm thinking about incorporating some of that into our pantry. They are basically homemade versions of popular mixes - baking, spices, and cream soups... and I think those are some of the staples that I can eliminate from our grocery purchases initially. I can make a mix or two to have on hand instead of buying the pre-packaged ones and just do it over time.

One thing is for sure, for us right now - a drastic complete change isn't affordable. So what I can do is rethink our weekly menu plans and find ways to do it with less prepackaging and more homemade alternatives. As we get rid of the pre-packaged things in our pantry - I can choose to not replace them.

I believe for us - the first of these that I will likely do will be the cream soup replacement. I tend to make lots of crock pot meals and casseroles that I can prepare during nap time and then bake or have ready when meal time hits in the evening. My plan is to get some of those large air tight containers - either glass jars or plastic from Target, Bed Bath & Beyond, or our Kroger store and keep some of these things on hand in our pantry. Maybe make a new mix each week - and keep researching.

Here are some links to these homemade mixes that I plan on trying:
Cream Soup Alternative
Baking Mix (Bisquick Alternative)
Spice Mix Recipes (Lots of other spice mix recipes)
Chili Seasoning Mix
Ranch Dressing Mix
Ranch Dip Mix
Vanilla Pudding Mix
Cookie Mixes
White Cake Mix
Yellow Cake Mix
Chocolate Cake Mix
Brownie Mix

Are there any other mixes or things like this you've found that I need to know about? What about other tips and tricks you've found for cleaning up what is going into your bodies while trying to keep some of the convenience factor alive?

Like I said, this will be a work in progress - rest assured though, I will be keeping you informed of our progress and how these things work for us. I am excited for the changes, and a new organization to our pantry!

Little Girl

Two years ago, yesterday actually... was a profound day that changed me forever. We woke up on February 19, 2010... full of excitement. We headed to the hospital to witness the birth of our daughter... sat in a waiting room with the lady from our adoption agency and waited. We heard the lullabies play on the loud speaker for 4 different births that took place while we waited.

After a couple of hours, the hospital social worker came to the waiting room we were in... and told us that the baby had been born, but that the mother had chosen to keep her instead of giving her to us. I remember time standing still that morning. It was an out of body experience - like I was hovering over the people in the room and hearing this horrible wail of a mother aching to have her arms filled with a child. Only, that sobbing mother was me.

We prayed with our agency representative, and left the hospital empty handed that day. It was devastating to say the least. We went home to our house that had all sorts of pink clothes, a carseat, bassinet, towels, toys... everything we needed for our first few weeks as parents. The pain sunk in a little more... I couldn't function - so I cried myself to sleep.

While I was sleeping, John quietly packed all of the baby stuff up and put it in the nursery closet upstairs out of sight. It didn't make the pain and confusion go away, but it did help to not have to walk out of our bedroom and see it instantly. We went to see a movie that afternoon to try to get our minds off of it... we saw the Tooth Fairy. (odd choice, I know)

The rest of that weekend (it was a Friday) was spent with my best friend or John trying to entertain me to keep my mind moving. Danielle took me to PF Changs for our favorite treat of Crispy Green Beans... and we did some shopping... we also saw When in Rome... which was the last movie I've seen in a theater to this day.

I remember those days so vividly. I remember the pain and heart ache of having someone promise to give you their child - then no less than a week later changes their mind and your whole world. It seems like it might be similar to a miscarriage, but it's different too - because the pain comes with knowing that the baby is very much alive... but just heading into a much harder life. This little girl's future and life is undoubtedly much harder than it needs to be.

I don't know if she gets to eat 3 solid meals every day like she should... or if she gets additional snacks. I don't know if she has proper medical care... or anything else about what's going on. I do know that when we met her mother, we secured her a stroller to use for her older children because she didn't have one - and didn't have the money for one or to get her car that wouldn't work fixed. In my heart of hearts, I would have scooped up all three of those girls and taken them in to be my own... to give them the best of what I have for their entire lives.

I think of her often and wonder if she's happy and healthy. I wouldn't change the reality of my family today, and believe me when I say that I love my boys with every fiber of my being - I just hate that we went through this pain. I wouldn't change it though, because it profoundly changed me. When you'd think that I'd be going through extreme periods of anger... I was really move worried about the baby and the mother.

In the days shortly following the birth, our adoption agency representative went to try to visit the mother and the baby just to check on them and make sure they had what they needed... but she wouldn't see her. I just wanted to know that they were fine more than anything else. I bought her a card, and told her that we loved her and were praying that they would have the best of what God would provide for their family. I remember telling her that if she ever needed anything - we'd be glad to help in whatever way we could.

We've never heard anything else about her, so I just pray still that everything is going well. That the little girl that we had named, and were prepared to love as our own - as we love James & Tyler today... is happy and healthy. I will always have a very special place in my heart for this little girl... and the way that these events truly showed me that I have the heart of a mother.

Project 366 - Week 7

Here we are 7 weeks into the year... CRAZY! I can't even remember where the time goes, I mean really... each day seems so long and then the weeks seem to fly by.

February 12 - While waiting for his breakfast last Sunday morning, James decided he needed to do a little "work" on his laptop - this just cracked me up and I had to share. He loves this little laptop and the batteries were dead for a few weeks... so he just got it back working again, and it's a renewed love that he feels for this toy. 

February 13 - We had a Valentine's play group party with our MOPS friends - they had a bouncy house that James enjoyed far too much... and Tyler found this workbench that he fell in love with. It's funny how different their personalities are - James is rough and wants to be thrown around while Tyler is more gentle and just wants to play nice or snuggle.

February 14 - We had a quiet day at home for our Valentine's Day. We stayed in our pajamas and just relaxed. Everyone in the family got some form of candy and the boys also got a new toy. It was a small little beanie ball - that neither of them have paid any attention to - but Momma tried. 

February 15 - We had MOPS on Wednesday morning. It's a big rush to get them home afterwards to eat lunch and take naps. The meeting is over at noon - and we're normally napping at that time - so I have to drive home (about 30-45 minutes) with my hand in the backseat in Tyler's face. James won't fall asleep in the car... but Tyler will and then decides that is enough nap for the day. He actually did fall asleep on the way home, ate and then took a good long nap - so it was a pleasant surprise.

February 16 - This was school picture day!! Momma is so excited to see how they turn out - their teacher Ms. Sheri said that they did really well, but I have to wait until the proofs are back. It was also my Dad & stepmom, Lynne's 22nd anniversary. So we took this photo of us on the way to school to send to them as part of their happy anniversary wishes.

February 17 - We took another pajama day on Friday because other than Tuesday - we had been out and about everyday this week so I thought that they boys just needed a day to play and try to get as much rest as possible. James has been having some trouble getting to bed at night this week - so I was hoping to help him get some good nap time in.

I love these matching PJ's that John's parents gave the boys for Christmas... they're so adorable in their dinosaur pajamas. 

February 18 - Let me start this photo's explanation by saying that I'm a HUGE wimp and decided that instead of getting a baby sitter for our 10th Wedding Anniversary celebration... maybe we'd take the boys to Benihana to enjoy watching the chef cook. They enjoyed the experience and loved the food - I'm so happy because this truly is a life long favorite of mine... and I'm thrilled to be able to see it through the eyes of my kids. This particular chef didn't play up to the kids as much as I'm used to - but we'll find one that does better when we go next time.

Since neither of the boys can talk and we don't have any family here... and lets face it two babies is a lot to deal with for a sitter... I'm just scared to even attempt to find one right now. When they can talk and tell me if they have a good time and like the person - I'll feel better about it. (I hope that makes sense)

So, since our actual anniversary is on Thursday - I'm going to meet John for lunch while the boys are at school. That way we will get to celebrate with our family and then have a little time alone as well. Either way you go, this is WAY better than last year when John was here in Memphis working and the boys and I were in Texas. It's just lovely to be together in whatever form that takes.

I hope you enjoyed looking into our week... and now I'm off to check in on the photos of all the other ladies linking up with us in this project.

Another Lost Week

Well, I lost my laptop this week - but thankfully Dell sent someone to resurrect it from broken screen troubles. I swear that the days are soooo long but the weeks go by so quickly! It's a phenomenon I will never understand.

This week has been a bit busy - we had a play group on Monday for Valentine's Day. We had MOPS on Wednesday and then MDO on Thursday... so we've been out of the house most days except Tuesday and today. I'm excited for the pajama day though to catch up!

What else have I been up to? Well, I signed up to be an Independent Scentsy Consultant! I'm thrilled, and want to share my thoughts with you. I'm sure some of you already know about Scentsy, but whether or not you have... I'd love for you to keep reading.

It is an exciting time within the Scentsy brand - they are launching a new line of scented greeting cards and a line of bath products & laundry products!

The main base of the Scentsy brand is their scented wax warmers. Can I take a couple of seconds to tell you what I love about those?

* They are safer & healthier than a candle. By simply warming the wax - none of the harmful chemicals that candles release into the air do not get released. You are simply getting the scent.
 
* You can control the strength of the scent being released. I have always had a sensitivity to strong scents, but by warming less of the scent squares - you control the intensity of the scent. I have not had any problems with any of the scents that I've tried.
 
* The scent bars last longer than a candle, and you can change the scent as often as you would like! At $5 a bar - why not change them often?!
 
* The catalog descriptions of the scents are spot on, and give you a GREAT idea of if you'll like it or not.
 
* They also have stuffed scented animals for children's rooms - we have a lamb in the nursery and they are adding a line of "baby" animals this spring as well!
 
* There are great Combine & Save packages for you to choose from if you are new to the Scentsy brand that allow you to get a warmer and some scent bars for a little bit of a discount.

I would love it if you'd shop my launch party - by going to my site and clicking "Shop My Party" next to the launch party link on the left side of the page. I'm trying to reach a couple of goals in my first few days of being a consultant and every purchase of any size will help. For the month of February there is a 10% discount on most every item! You can also add yourself to my Newsletter list for future product updates and sales.

I have PDFs of the new catalog for the Layers products (bath and laundry products) as well as the new catalog for the spring. Please let me know if you'd like to see it - I'd be happy to email it to you! These items are available on March 1st. If there is something you'd like from these products, please let me know and I'll be glad to place your order as soon as they are available as a part of my launch party.

Here are a couple of photos of items from the Scentsy brand: 

There are some gorgeous new warmers coming in the Spring catalog as well - but these are two of my favorites from the current selections. I hope that you'll take a few minutes and look through the products. 

If you have any interest in potentially starting a business of your own as well - I can help you with that too, and want you to know that February is double kit month! Meaning that you'll get all of the testers and things from the Fall Catalog as well as the Spring testers. It's more for your $99 start up cost, and was a big reason why I went ahead and got started. I would love to have you on my team, and we can grow our businesses together! 

River Dance Trainee

My little River Dance Trainee, Tyler is shakin his booty for you in this video spectacular. James usually will rock side to side, but he doesn't quite get into it as much as Tyler does. I just have to laugh because I have no idea where he gets this rhythm from - certainly not from me!

He has his own personality and sense of style. It'll be interesting to see how it develops when he starts getting more and more independent. I see him trying to pass off weird outfits - or maybe he'll get his Dad's sense of style... it's better than mine is as well.

One thing is for sure - he's got the lock on CUTE!

R is for Reality

The subject of reality television came up today in some discussions on Twitter, and I thought - you know... I've got some pretty strong opinions on the subject... so why not let it be a post? Here's the dealio folks. I loathe reality television... say what you must, but you just don't find it on our television. The closest we come would be some of the competition shows on Food Network. (We love Chopped)

From the very beginning this hasn't been my thing, and lets be honest - it has gotten completely out of control in recent years. I mean there is a show for everything! I don't buy the whole unscripted thing either - because in all honesty if you're signing up for a show like that there are some basic truths: 1) you are likely looking for fame, 2) you're playing a part, and 3) editing is everything.

It's not truly "reality" when they tape hours and hours of footage and then clip out the boring parts. It's also not "reality" when you are fully aware that cameras are on you 24/7 and you're reacting to them. You just don't act normally. I know I don't act normally when a camera is around and I have ZERO desire to be on television.

I see this in a lot of ways as the worst of humanity being put on display for the enjoyment of others - which often is described as a "train wreck" in which you can't stop watching. Yet again, not my deal. The next closest we came was watching Deadliest Catch - which was cool for a few minutes. I'm still not sure it's truly an accurate picture of what those men go through - but it was entertaining to see into their world for a minute. It lost it's cool for us when we saw a commercial for the show and one of the guys literally looked at the camera and said, "Happy F---ing Mother's Day" - it ended right there for us. We just don't need to watch that so badly.

I'm not going to tell you that we're perfect or live in a glass house... because certainly shows like Gossip Girl, Revenge, Grey's Anatomy, and Private Practice are not fine Christian programming either - but for whatever reason... I enjoy watching a scripted show. I like the stories told by gifted writers who are truly sharing an art with us. I like getting lost in the traditional type of format where I get caught up in the character development and suspense.

If I'm going to sit down and watch something - which lets face it - these days most of my viewing on a daily basis is Baby Einstein or Sprout... I want to be entertained with a GREAT story. Even sometimes if I'm not flat exhausted... I like to be given a story that makes me think - like on The Closer, Rizzoli & Isles, Law & Order, Bones, or Without a Trace. I'm not always able to look at the blood and gore of the crime scene, but I do find the stories interesting.

I guess I come from a point of view that I've never been one to sit down and try to figure a story out before the end. I never opened the back cover and read the ending. I have always been happy to sit and go where the writer takes me - on the adventure that they lay out for their audience.

To me, reality television goes against that and is making the good scripted show have less and less air time - which makes me sad. I don't really want to see the 9,000th season of The Bachelor - haven't we been there and done that? How many times can you hear "the most dramatic rose ceremony ever" and care anything about seeing it?

To each their own, I guess - I'm grateful for the options that cable provides... I just hope that there is always a place for good story telling to be viewed on our screens along with the unscripted stuff.

Photo 366 - Weeks 5 & 6

I was in the midst of a big push to get a Super Bowl Party pulled off last week, so I didn't get my photos posted... but I did get them taken last week and this week while being really sick - so YAY me!

January 29, The boys have become such climbers that they will get just about anywhere to get some height. James is balancing himself here on the arms of our two Pottery Barn Anywhere Chairs.

January 30, We'd had a rough night the night before - so I finally got him to sleep during nap time and he was just so out of it that I had to snap a photo. This was right before I went to lay down myself.

January 31, We took a field trip to Target to get a Bissell Steam & Sweep because I made the decision to clean my own house for our Super Bowl Party instead of paying someone else to do it. Of course by buying the mop - we didn't really save anything, but it's a great help for cleaning the kitchen floors - I can steam them without having to sweep first!

February 1, We went to MOPS this day, and James was just flat worn out. I think he's working on those 2 year molars and didn't rest really well the night before - then had a severe (out of character) meltdown when I dropped him off. When I went back to pick him up he lost it again. Poor buddy!

February 2, Here we are getting more height. Ugh! I swear - they are in or on EVERYTHING!!

February 3, if they aren't getting on top of things - they are flinging these chairs around the room. Occasionally they will sit in them, but most of the time they're turning them over.

February 4, John and James ran to the store for me to pick up a couple of things I forgot at the store for our party prep... and came home with these for me. Love my boys!!

February 5, Super Bowl Party day... here is the food all set out - I'm still working on getting the recipes up on Momma Hawk Cooks - I've got a few things up so far, but the full menu will be up by the end of this week.

February 6, I went to bed and woke up sick. So we just hung around and didn't do much of anything. Here are the boys enjoying a snack on the couch.

February 7, I couldn't help taking this photo - James is asleep underneath his Scout, Buzz Lightyear, a puppy, and two blankets. Hysterical.

February 8, Mom is still sick... so we're still just being bums around the house. James is getting more and more interested in cars and trucks - so here he is playing with two at the same time.

February 9, The boys had their Valentine's Day party at school... they got bags with their Valentines and made a dot painting during craft time. Their class doesn't normally do crafts - so it was fun to get something like this. Apparently, Tyler was very into participating in the craft while James couldn't care less about it.

February 10, James knows which remote controls our Blueray player - and kept bringing it to me all morning - so I finally turned on his Baby Einstein videos, and he promptly sat down in the middle of the floor and didn't move for at least 45 minutes.

February 11, We went to the grocery store as a family today - which doesn't happen often and I am reminded why. We needed a cart for the boys and a cart for the groceries. HA! This is me snuggling my boys after baths and just before bedtime. I LOVE sweet moments like this.

That catches us up with the rest of you... and I can't wait to go look at the other link up participants for today!!

Tell Me It Will Happen

I've got all these dreams in my head of things I want to do with the boys... educational and fun things... but right now we barely get out of the house. It's insanity if we do and the boys aren't buckled into their stroller. Truly. It's not something I can deal with alone - they instantly go in different directions.

I just want to know that somewhere in all of this - we will find a balance enough where we can do fun things together. Somewhere along the way - I'd like to be able to take them to do the things I'd planned.

I want to be able to:
- Go to story time at Barnes & Nobles or the library
- Go to the Children's Museum
- Go to the Arboretum
- Go to the park and have a picnic
- Find somewhere to feed the ducks
- Go to the Peabody Hotel to watch the ducks march to the fountain

I'm sure there are so many other things that I just haven't thought of yet - but I just don't know if I'm holding us back or if the boys are just too young still and I'm getting ahead of myself. What other things should I be planning to do with these crazy boys when they get older?

Chronos & Kairos - Week 4

This week has mainly consisted of me being ill... so we might be a bit abbreviated on our lists... but I want to keep posting and encourage you all to join in - I would love to have some blogs link up with me.

Chronos Moments: (Real Time)
* Suffering with a sinus infection, ear infections, sore throat, and an elephant sitting on my chest for most of this week
* Wanting to literally weep when my husband went to work several mornings this week because I felt/feel so terrible and there just aren't sick days for Moms.
* Losing my cool on several occasions because I just wasn't feeling like correcting the kids from climbing on the coffee table for the 85th time during the day
* Chasing after Tyler on numerous occasions to wipe his nasty nose
* Cleaning up the toys and within 5 minutes the house looks like a tornado came through yet again
* The fighting over toys - oiy... the screaming and tantrums over wanting the same thing at the same time

Kairos Moments: (God's Time)
* While getting ready for our party - John and James ran to the store to get a couple of needed items and came back with some beautiful flowers for me! Loved them!
* The pride and happiness I felt pulling off a successful Super Bowl party for John's coworkers and our neighbors - look for posts of the food throughout next week. (I'll do a wrap up post when they're all up)
* A few stolen moments when both of the boys climbed up to sit with me to watch their Baby Einstein videos
* Standing in the kitchen just imagining Tyler walking through the room one evening (he was in bed) and getting a smile on my face
* Watching the boys running and laughing from the living room to the front door over and over again last night - they were just the image of joy and wonder.
* Having the day to rest and recover while the boys were at school on Thursday. I didn't have anything in particular to do - and was able to just lay on the couch and do nothing. A much needed day for this sick Momma.

Much Needed Words

I am taking today to try to recover while the boys are at school. I got some antibiotics yesterday, and am working on getting rid of the elephant that took residence on my chest, 2 ear infections, sinus issues, and a sore throat... I am spending my day on the couch with fluids and my laptop.

I haven't really looked at the actual computer in days - so I hopped on Facebook to see if anything new was going on, and I happened upon a status that said: Bad moments do not make us bad Mommies

The poster of these words got them from her Proverbs 31 devotional, but I have to say that I needed those words this week... and really everyday. I'd like to paint them on my forehead.

There are so many times during the day that I feel like such a mommy failure - depending on what's going on... maybe they've pushed my patience beyond the point of return or I feel like I'm failing them by their development not being comparable to some other child that I've heard about. Truth is - this happens more often than not.

We love them so much that we just can't help but second guess every move we make - in the hopes of giving them the best of everything. I want my boys to have the best shot at a great life - great education - and for them to learn all the important things that Godly men need to know about life, love, and faith.

With that said, in those moments where Mommy loses her cool for the 85th time that day - because she's told two very rowdy boys to get off the coffee table 9,000 times... it's hard not to think in that moment after you've yelled at them or swatted their leg... that you've failed them. Or scarred them for life. I look at those sweet little faces the instant after I've lost it - sometimes tears welling up in their eyes... and I just can't help but scoop them up and start to immediately apologize for Mommy not being perfect.

For every night that I just can't wait for them to get to bed... because I'm exhausted and just out of ideas on how to entertain them... I find myself standing in the kitchen imagining them running through the room at some point during the day - and just being amazed at how we got here... how surreal life is sometimes. Then I think about how fleeting life is - and how it won't be long before these days are gone... just memories.

I say all of this because we are our own worst critics, and often get caught up in the monotony of keeping up with the Joneses... when we all know that if my kids talk in sentences at 2 years old or if they only say 10 words - ultimately it doesn't matter. They're all going to catch up in their own time and be just fine. I know deep down that my kids are just as smart as all the others out there that I compare them to - and they're fine... they will be fine. They're just soaking it in a bit longer and will likely blow us away with their speech in just a few short months.

I was the same way with worrying about James walking a bit later than other kids - he walked at 15 months, but when he did - it was only a day or two before he was literally running. He took his time, but progressed to the next step very quickly.

The bottom line is that we're all flawed. We will ALL have bad days - bad moments. Those moments don't define who we are as parents... they are teachable moments. Even if I don't instantly feel guilty - I do take the time to stop and let the boys know that I'm sorry for losing my cool. I use those moments the best I can to show that it's okay to not be perfect and to lose your cool, but it's best to stop and apologize for that - then make it right in the best way you know how.

We are all just being the best Mommies we know how to be - doing the best we can - navigating it all without any instructions and using God as our guide.

Station Break

I've had every intention of posting recipes galore on Momma Hawk Cooks this week after our Super Bowl Party... and some other posts prepared for this blog too - the photos from last week, my ABC's of Me post, and a few other things... but here is what happened in reality.

The second (and I do literally mean THE second) that I got all the dishes cleaned up from the party on Sunday evening - I started feeling like I had a head cold. It has progressively gotten worse - and now I can add 2 ear infections on top of that. Ya'll, I'm entirely too old to have ear infections!!

I literally feel like my head looks like this guy...

Thankfully my doctor hooked me up with some drugs that John will be picking up for me on his way home along with the Valentine's for the boys class party tomorrow - nothing like the last minute, right? I mean truthfully - I don't get it - because it's not like they know what's going on. The cookies and extra snack they're doing tomorrow would be plenty for these littles. Ah, well... we don't want to be left out - so we'll do them anyway.

The house still looks relatively good from the weekend party prep - so tomorrow, I might just find myself at home relaxing and trying to recover from this nasty bug that has infected my head. Our sickness issues are ridiculous though folks... it's been one battle after another for quite some time, and I'd love to just be done with it for a while.

The worst thing I can imagine is being sick as a mother - especially a stay at home mother - because you're pretty much on duty no matter what - and when your head is pounding at the same time that your children decide to fight over the same toy for the 90th time that morning... you really do just want to start drinking the pain away immediately. (or eating it away... depending on your vice) For some it's a box of wine and for others a bag of Oreos. I fall into the chocolate category... but I am trying to keep my grubby paws out of the sweets.

I know that the doctor didn't order a Z-Pack... (oh, how I wish he had) but hopefully he's gotten me something that will knock this into submission quickly - because Momma has some things to get done!

Chronos & Kairos - Week 3

I forgot the photo last week with the "logo" for this series... my apologies. I'm still trying to get back in the groove with this whole blogging thing again. I'm going to ask for some help to get you guys an html version of this photo to use if you want to link up with me.

Remember that the premise is that there are Chronos moments that happen during the week - the tough times that happen in real time - the times that you might want to crawl in a hole and disappear. Or hide in your closet with a box of chocolate - or in some cases a box of wine.

Karios moments are God moments. Those times when things stand still a bit and you just see the beauty that is there in front of you. Those moments when you find yourself in awe of your surroundings and/or family. It doesn't have to be your children causing these moments - it could be anything. As women we are constantly juggling so many things... so for me its nice to sit down once a week and look for the beauty within those crazy days.


Chronos Moments:

* The 12th time James hunched himself down in the Target cart during our short shopping trip - he literally would push himself off the seat (we used the double seater) and almost hang there until I set him back on the seat.
* Picking up food that liters the floor after every baby meal - if they're finished or just don't want the offering for that meal - they end up throwing it all over the floor
* Going to MOPS and having my typically happy smiling boy literally clawing back to try to get away from his teachers
* Not knowing for sure if our boy is getting those dreaded 2 year molars or not - he does seem okay while distracted and only gets bad when he is tired or going to bed
* Spending 5 hours yesterday cleaning for our Super Bowl Party and not feeling like I made any true progress toward getting the house really clean

Kitchen 1

Kitchen 2

Living Room 1

Living Room 2

* Having my arm/shoulder pain coming back with a vengeance - looks like I'm going to be going back to the doctor. I just wish the folks here in Memphis could refer me on to the orthopedic doctor to get some help
* Finding that the boys' need to climb on the coffee table and toy box is back and more intense than ever

* Tyler getting goose egg numbers 3 & 4... seriously we've got to get this kid bruise free for his school pictures in 2 weeks!!

Kairos Moments:

* Extra snuggle time with each of the boys this week - they have both needed a bit more attention and hugs than normal
* Planning the menu for our Super Bowl Party - lots of yumminess coming your way on the Momma Hawk Cooks recipe blog in the near future.
* Spending yesterday serving my family by working on getting our home clean
* Walking down the stairs with James - passing by my wedding photo and having him point and say "Momma" - if only he could point to ME and say that :-)
* Hearing James learning new words - we're now saying: tacta (tractor), si dow (sit down), and shoooooe (shoe)
* The giggle I get when James says shoe, knowing that when that word comes out of his mouth - he's spotted a pair of shoes and you'd better be prepared to immediately take him outside to play or to the car to go somewhere
* Registering the boys for MDO for the summer and next fall - 2 days a week in the fall for my men!!
* Having James walk into MDO without any tears even though he's not feeling his best - he was clingy with Mrs. Sheri, but he had a good day overall
* Feeling extra blessed that we were able to find such a great group of ladies to take care of the boys for me while I get a little break
* Having baby fever - even in the midst of the daily trials of being a toddler mom.
* Watching my boys sleep in this morning while I write this post in peace & quiet!!

What are your moments from this week?

Meltdowns and Toofers

On Tuesday, James woke up crying... I mean in pain crying. He normally wakes up happy and giggles when you go in to get him... on this day - he just cried and put his hands over his ears. Then when I picked him up - he put his head on my shoulder and snuggled. None of this is normal for James... he is pretty independent and wants to be on the go.

My first thought was: Does he have an ear infection? Then I thought about those pesky 2 year molars that are sure to pop up at some point soon for us. I don't have anything to go on with the ear infection issue - because he has only gotten 1 in his entire life... but this just doesn't seem like it's a sick issue.

Yesterday, we went to MOPS...and this issue reared its ugly head again. I went to drop him off at his class and my baby who normally just scampers off into the room to play - without looking back - was reduced to tears. Hysterical, clawing at the lady to get to Mommy tears. I feel horrible leaving him because I knew that he just simply is hurting... but I told them to page me if he didn't settle down in about 5 minutes... they never paged me, so I let him stay.

When I picked him up though, his eyes were this sad purplish red color... and I knew he was not only exhausted, but just plain done. We rushed through our Chick-fil-a lunch and then put them in bed as fast as I could. James slept for 3 hours, and I've been keeping him with Tylenol as needed. He did sleep without waking up last night - and was pretty happy and giggly when I got him out of bed this morning. No tears at the MDO drop off... so maybe he's doing better.

We have no teeth poking through - so I don't know what to think about those 2 year molars... they could still be rearing their ugly heads, but I'm just not 100% sure of what our issue is right now. If the problem is teeth - I wish they'd just come in and be done with it... so he can have this teething mess behind him.

It's interesting - I was talking with another Mom at MOPS yesterday and she has two boys as well... a drooler and a non-drooler... we have the same phenomenon going on with that. Our non-drooler seems to have more pain with teething issues (James) and our droolers seem to have plenty of water works but not as much pain. (Tyler)

What's your experience?

A Swing and a Run

Santa finally came by to finish the boys' gift during nap time a couple of weeks ago, and I know two little men that couldn't be more thrilled with their new play ground in the back yard. Wait until this summer when we add in their tiny picnic table and the extra large pool that Mom scored on clearance just before Christmas. I feel that they will want to live outside.

Here are some photos from our first experience playing on our new kids gym. It was fairly cold the day it got set up - so they had to wear their new hats too - we wanted them to wear their gloves as well, but they weren't cooperating with that part of the day. (Plus a couple of bonus shots)

I just love this picture of the boys - I wish I knew what the joke was... but it's just precious anyway you go. Love their sweet little faces!

Eating our first Oreo cookies... James did great just having the cookie whole... and seemed to enjoy it. I ended up buying a bag of the mini Oreos for them to just have a couple here and there. 

I broke Tyler's cookie up - he's just not really good about chewing... and I'm terrified of his gag reflex. I might be breaking his stuff into small pieces until he goes away to college.

Getting ready to go outside... and the rest are photos from the playing, running, swinging, sliding, and just general baby boy fun! 

It just doesn't get cuter than those little faces poking out of their little hats. Cracks me up and melts my heart at the same time. They did pretty well with them - in terms of leaving them alone too - which was GREAT since it was pretty darn cold!