Monday, April 22, 2013

A to Z about Me -- Take 2

I did this one other time in January of 2009 -- I just stumbled on it and thought it would be interesting to go through it again and see how it's changed in the last 4 years. So here we go:

A-
Available: no
Age: 34, about to be 35 <tear>
Annoyance(s): liars, cheaters
Animal: Missy (Boston Terrier), Allie (Cat)
Attitude: laid back and easy going - depending on who is involved -- can be demanding and stressed around my kids

B-
Beer: never touch the stuff
Birthday: May 16
Best feeling in world: Love
Best weather: mid 60's and sunny
Been in Love: I am
Been on stage: as little as possible, hate being the center of attention
Believe in God: Absolutely (have you read much here?)
Believe in Santa: Yes, I love the magic of Christmas - even more now through the eyes of my boys

C-
Candy (favorite): Depends on my mood -- love Peanut Butter Twix
Color: purple or aqua
Chocolate/Vanilla: typically Chocolate
Chinese/Mexican: depends on the day, I really like both
Cake or pie: both, depending on the flavor or pie topping - loathe meringue
Continent you want to to visit: Europe
Cheese: Yes, please - not a fan of swiss or blue cheese though

D-
Day or Night: mid-day (not into mornings or nights)
Dance in the rain: Sure
Dating: been there, done that...although meeting Mom friends is sort of like dating all over again
Dogs or Cats: both, I love animals in general (unless they are reptiles)

E-
Eyes: Blue
Everyone has: An opinion
Ever failed a class?: yes, mostly due to my own fault and lack of focus in my original college days

F-
Full name: Kimberly
First thoughts waking up: Is it the weekend?
Food favorite: depends on the nationality
Friendly: of course, but shy upon first meeting
Fan of: lots of things

G-
Greatest Fear: Snakes or Drowning
Goals: Be successful with Scentsy, Velata, and Grace Adele AND homeschool our boys AND move back to TX!
Gum: don't really chew it anymore
Get along with your parents: Most of the time
Good luck charm: No need - I pray when I need help
Guilty Pleasure: Watching Dance Moms on Lifetime

H-
Hair Color: Brown naturally, but most of the time it's red now
Height: 5’ 6"
Happy: Yes
Holiday: Christmas
How do you want to die: I don't think about it, when it's my time - God will determine how (hopefully painlessly?)

I-
Ice Cream: Cookies in Cream or Orange Sherbet
Instrument: I don't play one
Ice cubes or crushed: Cubes, Sonic ice is my favorite

J-
Jewelry: Wedding Ring and Watch
Job: So many answers - business owner, blog writer, homeschool teacher, mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend...
Journal-writing: Isn't that the point of a blog?

K-
Kids: James (3), Tyler (2)
Kickboxing or karate: Neither, tried Taebo in college and sprained some muscles :-)
Kooky: Wha?

L-
Longest Car Ride: College Station, TX to Naples, FL (I think) OR Cypress, TX to Williamsburg, VA
Love: Best feeling in the world
Letter: Love getting them!
Laughed so hard you cried: It happens, only wish it happened more

M-
Milk flavor: Flavor? Milk only has one flavor...
Movies: You've Got Mail, When Harry Met Sally, A Few Good Men, American President, Hitch, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Remember the Titans, and many more...
Music: Old Country and Worship Music...
Motion sickness: Yes
McD’s or BK: McD's, don't go often

N-
Number of Siblings: 4: two older sisters for most of my life... then at 25, became the middle child with a younger brother & sister added to the mix
Number of Piercings: 1 in each ear
Number of Tattoos: None
Number: No clue

O-
One wish: To be rid of weight issues, health issues, and infertility issues... to be comfortable in my own skin
One regret: None, because everything I have done has led me to where I am today

P-
Perfect Pizza: Beef, Mushrooms and Cheese
Pepsi/Coke: Dr Pepper -- but if I only had those two choices, I'd rather have Coke
Parents still alive: Yes
Party-goer: Not really, unless it's a game-night

Q-
Quote: None come to mind right now
Question for God: Depends on the moment
Quickest at: Typically, nothing

R-
Reason to cry: Stress, Grief
Reality TV: Mostly things on the Food Network... but I do love Dance Moms and Double Divas on Lifetime
Radio Station: The Oldies Country Station
Roll your tongue in a circle: Yes

S-
Song: Depends on the moment
Shoe size: 10
Salad Dressing: Ginger Dressing from Benihana's, Ranch, or Italian
Sushi: Love the restaurants, but eat other items
Skipped school: In college
Smoked: Tried it, but didn't like it
Skinny dipped: No, mostly got thrown in the pool fully clothed as a teen --lovely friends
Sing well: No
Swear: More than I'd like to admit
Strawberries/Blueberries: Strawberries if they are fresh, but blueberries in baked goods

T-
Time for bed: around 11
TV Show: Grey's Anatomy, Monday Mornings, Dallas, Rizzoli & Isles, Major Crimes, Franklin & Bash, Perception
Time right now: 10:41AM
Train or Ship: Train, I guess

U-
Unpredictable: No
Unique quality: I'm not sure - you'd have to ask my family and friends
Undergarments: Yes

V-
Vacation spot: The mountains
Victorian or Country: Country, Colonial really... aren't we talking architecture?
Valuables: Wedding Ring

W-
Weakness: Food
Which friend acts like you: No one acts exactly like me
Worst feeling: Guilt/Anger
Wanted to be a model: No, wanted to look like a model
Where do we go when we die: Heaven, or at least that's where I'm going
Worst Weather: Hot & Humid

X-
X-Rays: Probably have had too many
Xylophone: Only played with the kid version

Y-
Year: 2013
Yellow: What?
Yesterday: Sunday

Z-
Zoo animal: Giraffes -- check back tomorrow to see pictures from the boys feeding them at the zoo recently
Zebras-Black w/white or White w/black: Does it matter?

Let me know if you post this -- I'd love to read!! 

Friday, April 19, 2013

The Blame Game

I tried very hard to stay away from the coverage of the Boston Marathon tragedy this week, and managed to do it until this morning when things have just turned into pandemonium. It is so surreal to know that these events are actually happening -- in the real world -- not just on a movie screen.

It's so hard to watch and hear some of the coverage. Some are quick to blame the people of Chechnya. The truth is that there are good and bad people in every group you can think of. Radical extremists on every side of any issue. So it's not fair to blame an entire country or belief system. Are the fundamentally wrong? Maybe, but we don't know that for sure.

Did we condemn teenage boys as a whole after the Columbine shooting? No. Do we condemn all Christians when we hear about a church protesting military funerals? No. Sadly, there are many lost souls out there that are just a few wrong choices away from committing horrible sins against fellow citizens. To me, it's just plain sad and scary.

It's quickly becoming a time in history when we will fear everyone if we aren't careful. Remember the days after 9/11 when we all were hyper aware of things going on in airports? When we wanted to give every other passenger the side-eye in the attempt to determine if they were going to do the unthinkable as we boarded our flights to business or vacation destinations. Are we soon going to be afraid every time we see a black backpack?

These events happen all over the world, and we for the most part let it go as just a news story. It's not until it happens on our soil that we start to wonder why and place blame. Today, I think we're missing the big picture of the victims, the families of those victims, the families of the suspects, the shocked citizens waiting as the events unfold, and the families of the heroes out there trying to get to the truth.

Today isn't the day to pass judgement. We don't have all the facts. Today is a day to just try to hold on to our judgement while we watch the news seeing things unfold in real time. I almost wish we would all turn off our televisions... hold on to our families, and pray that no more people are harmed in the wake of these events.

I'm not faulting anyone for trying to figure out what is going on and why... I just don't want us to jump to the wrong conclusions. I try so hard to give people the benefit of the doubt -- normally to my own heart ache. Lets just try to focus our energies on rallying around the victims in Boston and the people of West, Texas. We can do much more good focusing on them than we can trying to figure out where to place the blame.

My Sister's Gender Reveal

My sister, Cindy, is the queen of all things gift related... and announcement related. I'll never forget her giving us gifts to ask us to be in her wedding... she gave our Dad, a copy of Father of the Bride at the time. (think, or maybe it was a hat with those words on it?) The night before my wedding... she gave gifts to announce that my neice, Taylor was on the way -- hard to believe she will be 11 this fall! So it's only fitting that she give us all gifts to reveal the gender of our latest bundle of joy.

She is unable to travel with this pregnancy because of some risk factors, and we're all spread out anyway -- so she mailed us all a box. Mine came a day later than the others, but it was well worth the wait...


I swear it felt like it took forever for that box to arrive from Dallas!




Would we have another crazy boy to add to the younger set of grandkids??




YES!! We are so excited for sweet baby Sam to come -- the boys pray for him every night before bed, and I have visions of the three of them running around the house acting like wild indians together. I couldn't be more thrilled to share being a boy mom with my sister... it's surely going to be a different adventure than raising her sweet princess has been. She will certainly be kept on her toes!

Thursday, April 18, 2013

James' 3rd Birthday

My big boy is now 3... how fast time flies. Our theme this year was construction. Even with all the other things we had going on -- I think that this party was pretty cute.




Our party favors were "paint brushes" -- rice krispie treats with a popsicle stick and then dipped in chocolate. We had two small babies as guests so we got them something that wasn't edible too.




 
The decor... I am really excited about how it turned out. Thanks so much to a sweet Daddy who is happy to jump in and decorate when things get short on time.



The truck was a birthday gift for James, but we thought it was a super cute chip bowl!





 The food was a lot of fun, and I even enjoyed coming up with names for each item and making my own label cards. 


Mommy's sweet boy, ready to enjoy a party all about him!




How cute is this cake?! My sister in law and her neighbor have never let me down on their creations -- they've done all our cakes so far, and I ask each time we get ready for a birthday with the prayer that they won't ever quit!


Crazy Tyler... such a cute little man!





James got bored opening all of his gifts -- I pray that doesn't always happen... I guess it is overwhelming for a little guy. Thankfully, Tyler was ready to jump in and open a few too. HAHAHA!


Cake time!! We had to repeat the blowing of the candles several times... and ended up driving home with James singing "Happy To You" all the way.







A good time was had by all... and my little cake lovers were happy. By the end of the day -- they were all worn out and ready for bed... I'd call that a success!

Baseball Wreath


I made this wreath for my new nephew's room & baby shower. Sadly, we weren't able to have the shower because my sister was in the hospital with the flu... but I was able to attend her second shower and give her this for his room.

My brother-in-law played baseball through college and was on the Olympic team... so it's no surprise to us that when they found out they'd be having a boy -- the nursery came with a vintage baseball theme. I set out on Pinterest to find some projects, and I'm amazed that the ones I loved the most have actually all made an appearance in sweet baby Sam's nursery! There will be a follow up to this post with pictures from the shower because it was INCREDIBLE!

This truly is the easiest wreath ever to assemble - the hardest part was finding the baseballs. I happened to know a friend who is married to an umpire so that saved me from buying new baseballs and having to rough them up for that vintage look.

You can use a wire hanger to do this project, much like the ornament wreaths that were all the rage a year or so ago. I actually made one of those as well, but did it with a thicker wire that we bought at Lowe's. It made for a more sturdy project that I could make a little larger if I wanted to.
 
So we took 11 baseballs and my husband drilled out the center of them for me. (I'm not allowed to use power tools... for safety reasons, HAHAHA) We made sure that when drilled and strung on the wire -- all the lacing would lay in the same direction so that our OCD wouldn't go crazy. I didn't get a picture with everything lined up correctly though.
 

We pulled the wire into two loops and enclosed them. I think this may have taken a total of 30 minutes -- the longest part of the project was the multiple coats of paint and sealer on the "S". A friend gave me the idea later of running sandpaper over the initial to make it look a little more worn and vintage too, but I'd already sealed it.

I didn't attach the "S" to the wreath because I thought they might want to use it somewhere else in Sam's room, but we tied the burlap bow on the project and it was done!

I can think of so many other items that we could do a project like this with -- if my boys don't end up being baseball fans -- we might have to do small footballs or something else for their room!

The final product here made me so proud, and the parents to be loved it!

Monday, April 15, 2013

Our choice

We've made our schooling choice - it wasn't a knee jerk reaction to anything. It was something I've quietly thought about and prayed over for a long time. It started before the boys' first birthdays when we were getting ready for our move to Memphis. We researched the housing market and along with that came looking into the area schools. The schools here in Memphis are very different from what we are used to, and not something we wanted to subject the boys to.

Homeschooling was our solution to that dilema, but ever since that thought crept into my mind... I've been thinking and praying about it. One of my sister's homeschools her daughter, and John's sister homeschools 2 of her daughters. There are many people in our lives that have chosen this option for their families, and it's working great for them. Does that mean it's for everyone? Absolutely not. I'm not writing this to convince anyone else to do it -- or tell you what is best for your family. This choice is only for my family. You've got to decide for your own. (same goes for a myriad of other topics in parenting - what I choose isn't what's best for everyone)

Within the last couple of months, my heart has come to a peace about this choice for us. There are lots of reasons why I think this is what will be best for our family - but one of the reasons that became clear for me is that our boys are only 6 months apart. They would be separated in traditional school programs by a year, but they are very much on the same level in so many ways. James may be slightly behind. while Tyler might be slightly ahead... they very much meet in the middle and challenge each other on different areas of development.

I want to foster that, and I see no real need for them to be separated. They will be their own people with their own interests, and I can foster that through homeschooling. We can go through life learning together at home, and exploring the world in the ways that interest us the most. Tyler already has so much interest in animals and science -- where James is more interested in building and engineering. I can work with those interests and build their learning plan around those things that interest them -- rather than using the one-size-fits-all approach that traditional schooling has to take.

Once the decision became clear, I started researching curriculum programs and reading books about the day to day workings of a home school. We will be free to get our learning done on our time, and still have plenty of time for socialization and sports outside of school -- as well as with co-op programs and things.

I've found our Pre-K 3 program, ordered it for the fall, and mapped out our path of learning as I see it today. That will certainly be subject to change as programs change and our interests become more visible. I'll write more about what I chose in another post, but it is biblical and all the programs going forward will have a Bible study component for us.

I've also started collecting our supplies slowly, and I can't be more excited for what lies ahead for our family. Wish us luck!

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Tragedy at Lone Star College

I woke up this morning to find an email from a friend that was at Lone Star College the morning of the attack, and it rattled me in a good way. It is full of love and grace for her entire community, and as she goes back to class this morning to face her students for the first time since the attack... I would really love it if we could all lift her up. I know that nothing short of divine intervention could get me through a situation like this, and give me the words to try to start the healing process for all of the people she encounters today.

I asked her for her permission to share this with "the world" -- which won't happen unless I get some major help from all of you that might read this. Please pass this on to anyone you know -- this message is just as important as anything being shared by the media... and I believe more powerful to show the love and grace that my friend has for her students, and the attacker himself.

I've changed their names, and removed as much personal information as I can because this was originally sent to her friends and family. She has some security issues in her family that need to remain protected, and I take that very seriously.

Here is the note I got from her this morning:

Dear friends and family,

By now, I am sure you have heard about the tragedy at my campus on Tuesday, April 9. Unfortunately, the incident involved one of my students. Below, I have written an account of the day's events. Please continue to keep us in your prayers as we process and work through this.


Hopeful


            It started out like any other Tuesday this semester. The alarm clock went off entirely too early. After a restless night of sleep consumed by worries of "E"'s upcoming surgery, I groggily arose from bed and prepared for work. "M" and I made our way through congested Houston traffic, and after dropping her off I school, I coasted onto campus in time to make my way up to my classroom for the next five and a half hours of lecture.

            My first class was easy. I love lecturing on marriage and relationships. We had a peaceful discussion on the divorce rates in the US and I emphasized the individual's responsibility to having a successful relationship. As with many other times in my teaching career, I reminded my students that we cannot control others, but we can control our own communication and what we contribute to our relationships.

            My second class began at ten. With upcoming presentations, there was a bit of nervous tension in the air. We worked on impromptu speeches and I continuously praised my wonderful students for their hard work and just how far they had come in twelve short weeks. At the end of class, one of my students approached and asked, "Have you heard from Dylan? I'm worried about him. He is a big part of our group."

            I'll admit; I was confused. Dylan had been present and active in class. Why was he worried about him? I assured him that I would track Dylan down and make sure he was okay - I'd tell him how much he was treasured by his group.
            I sorted through lecture notes in preparation for my third class of the day. Suddenly, my phone rang. The voice on the other end cried out "Professor M, hurry hurry. Dylan, he stabbed some girl in the face. Professor M, they threw him on the ground. They are arresting him. You have to come help! Please hurry, hurry!"
            The desperation in her voice pierced my heart as I ran outside to find my students standing in shock. What in the world was going on? I ran to the police. I said, "He's my student. He's deaf. Please make sure he can hear you."
            My body started shaking. I had no idea what was going on - and crisis mode began. As an undergraduate, I had studied and written papers on school shootings in my Crisis Communication Management course. I went back to that place, desperately trying to figure a plan. I returned to my classroom and immediately checked my emails and the campus website. Nothing. No information. I made the decision to be logical rather than emotional and proceeded with class as scheduled. I knew that I had to be a voice of reason and stability for my students.

            We took attendance, discussed the remaining items on our course schedule, and then settled into lecture on the delivery methods in public speaking.


And then I received a text. Lockdown, shelter in place.


            I immediately remembered the emergency plan for our campus. We turned off the lights, barricaded the door with desks and quietly huddled in the corner. Students began to sob and cry. What was going on outside of our room? A new campus email told us that another assailant was on the loose. Was he/she in our building? What was going on?
            My three children's precious faces flashed in my mind. What would happen to them if I died? What would happen to my fragile girl who is currently rattled with health issues? "Dear God, please help me," I prayed. But I also knew that my students were someone else's children. Their parents were worried and relying on me to keep them safe and calm.
            Without thinking twice, I knew that I had to be calm, I had to be strong and I needed to pray for my students. Being a public institution, I asked my students if it was okay if I prayed out loud for them. They begged me to. And so I did. And then, the room filled with peace.
            It seemed like eternity, as we sat huddled in a dark quiet room. Students were using their smart phones to check media outlets for updates. The victim count was rising. First five, then eight, then twelve... I was terrified, but reason took over.  And then, classrooms in our hallway started to empty, and students filled the hallways. We heard the words that we were free to leave. We gathered our belongings and left the building.

            While we exited, one of my students, a gentlemen in Dylan's group, stood still and numb. I asked if he was okay. All he could say was, "What are we going to do about our project? Dylan was so important in our group." His shock and disbelief shook me to my core.
            When I knew my students had safely exited the building, my reason was replaced by overwhelming emotion. Was this really happening? Had my beloved student really just violently attacked multiple victims while he was supposed to be in my class? I began to shake and feel nauseous, fighting the urge to vomit in the parking lot. I placed calls to let my loved ones know I was okay. I cancelled the doctor appointment I was supposed to be at that afternoon. I tried to keep busy in my car to keep myself from falling apart.

            Over the next hour, I sat in line to exit the campus. Thoughts ran through my mind like an emotional marathon. Even twenty -hour hours later, I cannot process those thoughts clearly. I worried about the injured students - were they going to survive? I worried about my students - how were they holding up? I worried about my colleagues and learning community - how was this going to change us? But most of all, I worried about Dylan.

            My phone rang. It was the precious student who had frantically called me earlier. She wanted to make sure I was safe. And like me, she worried about Dylan. Right before class, she saw him in the hallway and gave him a hug. She proceeded up the stairs to class, while he claimed he was going to get a drink and would be there. Like me, she wondered, "how did this happen?" Would this young man, someone she called her friend, be okay?
            I replayed the previous 11 weeks of class in my mind. Were there signs? Did he say something that I should have noticed? Had he been angry or depressed? How on earth did I not see this? What if, what if, he had come to my classroom today?

            As fate would have it, an old friend from whom I was estranged, reached out to me last week. She lives directly across the street from the college. She called me and begged me to not drive home. She was right. I was in no shape to drive. After spending a couple of hours trying to calm down, I was able to safely drive home. And for the remainder of the evening, I struggled to make sense of such a senseless tragedy.

            Today, I awakened to a flood of emotions. It seems all so strange. Like I am reading about someone else's life. While never in immediate danger myself, I can't help but think how it could have easily been me and it could have happened in my class. Yet something deep inside tells me the reason he went across campus was because he couldn’t do this to people he knew, and people he knew cared about him. I feel shaky. My body is trying to process the amount of adrenaline in a million rushes all experienced in one day. I feel anger. The media trying to demonize Dylan, when I know he is not the monster they will paint him to be. If anything, he is a very sick young man that needs medical help. I feel grief. The loss for our community is great, and though I know we will rise above it, we will never be the same. I feel confused.

            But most of all, I feel hopeful; my students have handled this beautifully. I was overwhelmed by the number of text messages, emails and phone calls I received from my students thanking me and commending me for my actions during the crisis. The reality is, I am proud of them. I am thankful for them. I believe in them. And I believe in us. We are a special place. Not just a community college where people show up for classes, take tests and get grades. We are a unique body of learners who are living life together. We will overcome this.

            Haruki Murakami, contemporary Japanese writer has said, “And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”
            When this storm is over, we won't be the same. We will be stronger.

As I reread this, my blood ran cold all over again --I am in awe of my friend's strength and wisdom. Her ability to put reason over emotion is remarkable, I truly don't know if I would be able to have that poise... I pray I never have to find out. Will you join me in lifting her up today, and give her some divine words to use with her students today? Pray that a peace beyond understanding washes over them. 

I find it interesting that in the few media outlets that I looked at this morning - there is no mention of this story. While in some ways that is good, in others it worries me. Is it falling off the radar because there aren't any updates? Is it because it was a knife attack instead of a gun? Is it because there isn't anything that can be used to further a political agenda? I don't know, but I sincerely hope that this message from her can get out anonymously to the world -- so that just maybe we can all have some hope that while these tragedies keep happening in our country... there are some remarkable people on the ground working to help all of us get through it. 

Please consider posting about this, or even emailing a link to your family & friends. I will be sending this to her -- so feel free to post messages and comments. **Any that are disrespectful or hurtful will not be published.**