Well, I'm a bit late... but it's 2019!

I've learned a few things in the short time that it's been 2019, and I thought I'd start off a series of upcoming posts with that. What I've learned is that in years past - I've set goals and I've given resolutions of things like I'm going to lose 25 pounds... only to quickly fail. That gave way to me only setting resolutions of things like lose weight... with no set amount, because in my mind... even one pound gone in the year would be a success, right?

Well, none of it has been successful, and I found myself at the end of 2018 feeling pretty defeated. I thought that I was just destined to be heavy and on tons of diabetes meds for the rest of my life. Nothing could or would ever change for the better... Then I heard one of the most profound podcast episodes I've ever heard.

It was a couple of days in the new year and I was catching up on getting my Powersheets set up for the year, and determining what my goals would be and I heard something that I will never EVER forget... Two things actually: 1) There is nothing magical about January 1st. There is nothing special about January 1st other than the fact that for the next month or two you'll be writing the wrong year on everything... or maybe it's just me? 2) The reason that resolutions fail by and large is that there is no heart reason behind them. They are just shots in the dark at things that we feel like we need to improve.

That's when it clicked for me. Will I be perfect in this pursuit? Of course not, but what I can do is embrace the progress that is being made and know that things are better than not trying at all. How does that look different in real life?

It looks like choosing goals that are tied to reasons, real tangible reasons... for instance - with my weight loss goal - why do I want to do it in the first place? There are a few reasons there actually:

• to feel better and not have creaky joints
• to get off of all of my medications
• to have more energy for my family
• to be ALIVE longer for my family

Let's be real honest here - since few people read this anyway -- there is safety in putting it out there, but I was on a path to certain earlier death until I changed things. Granted I have only changed things in the last two weeks... but I'm headed in a better direction than the alternative. With my weight and my diabetes working together - it was almost a guaranteed certainty that I wouldn't make it until a natural old age. How can I look into the eyes of my family and not know to the depths of my soul that I need to do better for THEM? Take me out of the picture... but how can I not get control over this issue so that I can be there for many more years to come? 

I know that there will be struggles, but one thing I also know is that I love these people in my life fiercely -- both those that live within my home and those family and friends that I interact with on a regular basis... I happen to be someone that loves BIG often at the detriment of my own health because I also tend to be a people pleaser. Maybe of my goals, this year are all wrapped in on this topic. 

I'm one of those people that comes up with a word for the year, and each of my 7 goals for 2019 is tied to this word. My word for this year is Intentional. (I'd love to have a ring with that word stamped on it or even a bracelet -- I'll have to look for one)

Here are my 7 goals... 

1. Spend intentional time with God either through devotionals or Write the Word Journals
2. Intentional time with people that matter - John, the boys, friends, family
3. Intentionally improve health through diet, increased water, intermittent fasting, and exercise
4. Focus intentionally on our budget and debt snowball
5. Be intentional with my daily reading for enjoyment both nonfiction and fiction
6. Intentionally create a second book for publishing
7. Intentionally spend time on homemaking through decluttering and cleaning routines

Will these all happen perfectly - probably not, and some of them will take a backseat at times for the others -- but what I do know is that 2 weeks in -- I'm feeling better than I ever have and I'm showing no signs of stopping. Something has snapped in me this year and I feel so much more grounded in knowing that there will be bad days and there will be good days -- but showing up for myself will never EVER be a disappointment to those that matter. 

Clearing Your Head

Oh, this image both makes me laugh and internally cry at the same time -- because how many of us can relate to this are our reality? Replace a couple of those images with kids and a mop... some laundry... you feel me?

Which of those images gets the most of your time? Lately -- I feel like a good bit of it is stuff that doesn't matter... I was spending too much time clearing off my phone and too little time hanging with the people that matter.

What did I do? I started deleting apps off of my phone so that there were fewer distractions. I deleted all sorts of different things, but I also stopped mindlessly scrolling through Instagram, Pinterest, and Facebook. I still look at them and use them, but I don't spend the same amount of time on them these days. They just make me nuts these days anyway with their crazy, ever-changing algorithms that anyway -- so I just quit letting it take over.

I've replaced that with things I enjoy -- spending time watching a movie with the kids, writing on this blog, reading books about things that matter to me... that's how I'm spending my time these days.

It's time to let go of all the distractions and live differently. Just because the world is continuing to fill every second with noise and clutter -- replacing meaningful connection and stillness -- doesn't mean that YOU have to live that way. I'm learning this lesson repeatedly lately, and I don't think that's by accident.

Sometimes getting the same lesson over and over is because we aren't listening or open to receiving the message. If you're too busy -- maybe you just aren't hearing it. Maybe you're choosing to ignore it because you don't want to be different, I get that. Maybe you just don't want to change, but sometimes that brings on more hardships too -- so tread lightly there, friends.

I have avoided my fair share of life lessons at times, and others I have learned to lean into and embrace. One tried and true way to figure out what is going on and what needs to change is a major truth bomb that just exploded in my reality the other day. You ready for this one?

Sometimes the things you complain about can show you exactly where you need to change. For instance, if you are complaining about not having enough time -- maybe you're spending your time on the wrong things. Take the things you're complaining about and find a positive change that can help you move in a different direction. Those changes can be very small, but they can add up over time.

I'm thinking a lot about this these days -- and looking for those small things that I can change instead of complaining about where I am. I heard a quote the other day that was just so profound to me... let this sink in...

After winter always comes spring...

If this doesn't speak to so many trials in life -- I don't know what does. I feel like I've been walking around in a fog for a long time, but now I can see those little signs of life coming through the dirt lately. Now to nurture them so that they can grow into the prettiest flowers, the sweetest fruit, or the tallest trees. 

I'll leave you with this because who knew that a truth bomb like this was hidden in an 80s classic movie... 

Fruitful Friendships

I've been a mom now for 8 years roughly, and there is a distinct shift between the friends I had before children and those I've made after having them. Now, some of the shifts have come from moving to Memphis and back while the boys were babies... but follow me here. 
There is (or there was for me) an intense time after becoming a mother -- slightly more intense because of having two babies in the span of 6 months -- of isolation and loneliness. Couple that with my extreme shyness around new people, and you've got a cocktail for a bit of depression. Just before we moved to Memphis, my doctor put me on some medications for depression because he was noticing signs of it with having two babies in itself... but that's a story for a different day. 
Since that time, we've moved home... had a couple of brain surgeries that left 2014 pretty isolated for obvious reasons... we're now entering a time when I feel very centered and like I've found myself an amazing little group of friends. We are small in number, but mighty in heart and love. 
I've found 2 women that I literally feel like I can call in the middle of the night if needed... allow them in to see the chaos and mess of our home, and they will love me right through it. Bottom line, I can be my REAL self with them. Bad attitude, occasionally petty, ungrateful at times -- self. We are from very different backgrounds, different stages of parenting, some veered away for a bit, but we just fit. 
A few months ago, we came back together stronger than ever... the kind of friendship that doesn't skip a beat after not talking for a while. The kind that needs to be nurtured and grown -- because you cherish it as much as you do your family. These two women are my sisters in life -- every bit as important to me as the sisters I got from birth and marriage. 
I hope that I bless them as much as they bless me on a daily basis as we do life together -- often through text messages and field trips with the kids -- but I look forward to our mom's nights away every month. I mean seriously, can you imagine spending 5 hours in a Chili's chatting -- and not even feeling like it has been 30 minutes? Yep... that's us. 

I promise that my constant chatter about Lara Casey is coming to a close for a bit here. (click on the photos to be taken over to her shop) But I had to share about these amazing short books that she has created to help you cultivate a few specific areas of your life that are deeply important. 
This friendship book is larger than the other two and has some amazing ideas for growing Fruitful Friendships. It tells you what that looks like, and helps you plan action steps to help your friendships grow and flourish. This is what I aim to do this summer!
I emailed my two friends about this book -- and we're planning to go through it together over the next few weeks. Lara and another lady from her office, Jess, are going to lead us all through it on Wednesdays this summer page by page on their Facebook page... every week at noon Eastern time beginning on May 31st. 

This is the couples book -- which will help you set some goals for your marriage and work toward a better/deeper connection. 
This one for Parents can be worked on with your kids, or just with your spouse... but it's another way to set some intentional goals for building the relationships in your family. 
What I love about these books is that you get to make the goals fit your family, and Lara just helps you walk through figuring out what is most important to you in this season you are in... then set goals to build from where you are. I've got all 3 of them, and plan to make a point to do my best in these 3 areas this next year. In addition to one more area... which is caring for myself from the inside out... if I'm not running at my best health (both physically and spiritually), then I'm no good to these other areas of my life.
What tips and tricks do you have for bettering your friendships, marriage, parenting, and self-care?

Seasons of Change

I'm not sure when or how it happened, but suddenly I'm at a place where I just am feeling so deeply grateful for the paths I've crossed in the last year.

If I look back about a year ago... not quite, but July 2016... things were looking very dark and I had a lot of turmoil in my life. There was a friendship that wasn't working, a community that wasn't working, and just general unhappiness. One morning, I woke up and it just wasn't my chosen path anymore.

I took a step out in faith and I walked away - as I've said before - when your heart attitude mirrors something that you don't like, it's time to walk away. I've done this a few times in my life, and I think that it's the place where I am able to uncover exactly where I need to be. Things along this new path may not always be easy, there will surely be rocks and obstacles... but it will be worth it.

This doesn't always look like a huge fight, but sometimes it is a drifting apart that just gets to a point that it needs a clean break... so at the end of July 2016, I made that clean break. It was time, and while it's hard and painful... it was truly time. I walked away. I don't harbor any bad feelings about any of it, but for me - it was freeing to be able to move in the direction that works best for my little world.

To shift my focus on things that matter to me -- and things that would matter to me when I'm at the end of my life. Who would be around me, what things would look like... and where I would be the most at peace in all things.

Ironically, it was at the same time that I started hearing about someone that has quickly become one of my favorite inspirational figures -- Lara Casey -- the first time I encountered her Facebook Page, she was completely open, raw, and vulnerable about having to start completely over on writing her new book. I was instantly drawn to her realness and her spiritualness even in the time of a huge struggle... and I just knew -- THIS is the type of person that would inspire me toward that place I am heading. She is a kindred spirit for me too because she also has two littles that are 6 months apart in age - so she gets exactly where I've been in that.

I'm looking for simplified, spiritual, and grateful... that's where I'm heading. When I reach the end of my time here on earth - I want the words -- spiritual, generous, loving, and grateful to be spoken about me.

• I want my family to know how deeply they were loved - even if it was imperfectly loved.
• I want my friends to know how much I cherished doing life alongside them.  
• I want people to think of me as being generous with all things - while also making sure to do those things well.
• I want people to know that everything they've done for me is appreciated... even things that I didn't like. 
• I want to take my last breath with everyone knowing that there isn't a single thing that I regret. 

Life hasn't been perfect, there have been many ups and downs along the way -- but all of those things shape us to the place that we are meant to go according to God's plan. There can be frustration in not knowing the ultimate plan, but everything worth having is worth waiting & struggling for. 

This quote is so true, now with some hindsight on where I've been spent the last year of my life, I can absolutely relate to it. In walking away from one friend, I lost another one for a while -- but we've reconnected and things are just much more fruitful right now in where we are. I look forward to growing our friendship, and that with another one who has never waivered in her support of me... good things are coming. 

My hope in writing this is to share that over the coming posts -- I'm going to show you more about this new outlook on life, share what I'm doing to get after these things, and love my people well. I hope that you'll stick around with me on this journey. 

This is 39

Here we are, day 1 of year 39 -- I'm thinking of it as the beginning of a new book. There is nothing magical about January 1st being the beginning of new things. I've been trying to be more intentional this year as a whole, but things within myself are changing.

There is an interesting phenomenon that is happening within my mind and spirit lately -- and it's causing me to care less about what others think of me, and own who I am. You may not like who I am, but that doesn't mean that either of us are wrong... maybe we are just moving in different directions.

I've always been very much a people pleaser and mediator between those in opposition, so this is very much a shift for me. I just feel more balanced in where life is settling in right now, and I think that's a good thing. That isn't to say that I don't want to better things in several areas -- we are always a work in progress friends.

Lately, I've been watching several videos and following Lara Casey (Cultivate What Matters), Erin Chase (MyFreezEasy), and Emily Ley (Simplified Planner). These ladies are my SHE-ROES -- because their messages of simplification and putting what matters to you at the forefront of your daily tasks just really speaks to where I am today.

How many of us can relate with this lady in the photo above? I know I can, but you know what is going on here... it's a lot of our own making. I'm writing this more for myself than anyone else... because I know that I've become "too busy." Personally, I am trying to keep up with too much, and spending more time doing things virtually than I am in person. I'm shy by nature, so somethings are just outside of my comfort zone... but I want to be someone that does hard things.

How do we do that? Think about the things in your life that will matter when you are 80 (or older), and choose to focus on those things rather than the clutter that fills our inboxes and social media feeds on a daily basis. For me -- those things are FAITH, FAMILY, and FRIENDS. I'll even throw in one that doesn't start with F too -- HEALTH -- mental and physical.

Beginning this summer - those are my 4 main focus areas... so if something isn't helping with that - I'm going to start backing away from it. I'm still working on what those things are, but I plan to delete apps from my phone that take away from those things -- or apps that I don't even use. There is so much there that I don't even use... but also I want to extend an invitation to everyone out there -- join me in this journey.

I really want to dive in wholeheartedly into this -- so if you'd like to do the same -- please reach out to me. If we have been friends for zero time or since birth... lets find some time to reconnect. That might mean that we have to Skype, but lets make it happen.

For me, when I'm 80 years old... the things that I believe will matter to me are: my faith, my husband & children (hopefully grandchildren too), my extended family, my friends that have walked through life with me, and my health -- obviously the last one is incredibly important to the whole making it to 80 and beyond.

That being said... in the words of Jerry Maguire... Who's Coming with Me?

Changes

Sometimes the thing that you need in life is a big scary change. A push in a direction that you didn't really think that you needed to go. I got that nudge in the last month, and when I say that it might have been the best thing to happen to me in a LONG time -- it might be an understatement.

You see, up until about 3 weeks ago -- my life was stagnant. We were existing and making our plans for the new school year that was coming, but I couldn't say that I was happy or even really content for that matter.

I really feel like God gave me a big nudge in a direction I wasn't even expecting to go. God closed a door, but he opened a flood gate of really great stuff at the same time! A very dear friend's, Suzanne, life changed, and she started the wave of what was to come... without even talking about it or planning for it -- she started me on a path that I will forever be grateful for.

She woke up on August 1st and decided that she was going to change her life by starting to get healthier. So, in a way that is totally unlike me -- I joined in her journey. We both started doing the 21 Day Fix workouts. Now since I hadn't planned on this -- I didn't really have a plan for eating exactly, but we both started tracking everything on My Fitness Pal and stuck within our calorie allotments for the day. I made the best choices I could based on what we had at the house -- I normally go through the pantry and fridge and throw a ton of food away and start over spending a TON of money on specialty products. This time I just jumped on a moving train and let the rest of it figure itself out.

 It's now been almost the entire 1st cycle around of 21 Day Fix, and we haven't quit. In many attempts before -- I would have quit, but I haven't. Partially because I know that she is going to do her workout, and I don't want to let her down. Also because I want to model for my kids what healthier living looks like. James does almost all of the workouts with me, even if he is mostly just jumping around. Tyler, I'm still working on encouraging him along -- and now that I've got more energy and hopefully in the not too far future, it'll cool down again and we can take their bikes out and hit the roads walking/riding for some exercise.

In the process of all of this, I also met the most amazing lady -- now my coach, Juliana -- who is the most inspiring lady I've known in a long time. She is always there pushing herself to be better and to grow personally. I hope that one day the three of us will be able to look back on August 1, 2016 as the anniversary of an amazing friendship/partnership.

In the process, I've gained so much. I'm now watching my kids benefit from my life changes -- we are doing much better with getting our school work done, we are now working out for an hour a day rather than 30 minutes, and I feel great. So great in fact, I've become a coach as well.

The reason I decided to go ahead and become a coach now is that I'm not sure that there is a better time to put yourself out there. Am I a perfect product of Beachbody right now, no... but I'm putting in the work. I've got a LONG way to go, but at the same time -- I'm in the trenches with anyone that joins and chooses me as their coach. I'm learning, growing, and getting better everyday -- just like they will be. I love people, and dearly love encouraging them to reach for their dreams -- plus knowing that they are counting on me, is an extra motivator to keep me in the game. I see it as a win/win for all of us... me in that I will keep going, and others because I will encourage them to put whatever missteps they might have aside and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

I know truly, in my heart that my life has forever changed. If I can do this at my current weight -- I know ANYONE can do it -- and I'd love to be the one to help you start your journey. One thing that we hear on 21 Day Fix a lot is: Take it one day at a time, and one pound at a time. That is the absolute truth -- take it step by step.

If you're interested in taking that first step with me -- email me -- and we will talk through it and figure out what would be the best fit for you.

Friendship

In November & December, a friend of mine needed some prayer support from me on a situation... so we prayed through it and found a solution that worked for her. I mention this because it leads up to the bigger message I'm trying to portray.

Over the last couple of months, God really orchestrated a change in our relationship -- and while things were being worked out in her life -- we were being brought closer together. Have you ever just been able to sit back and watch God working in your life to bring about the best things that you couldn't even imagine you needed?

This has happened to me before, but it's been a good while since I've seen it so clearly. In this situation, we clearly had things shown to us that we never knew about each other before. I mean to say that we are two peas in a pod is such an understatement. There are so many parallels between us -- and we've known each other for around 10 years, but we've never been close in any way. Until now.

Things started changing for us last summer when we were thrown together in leadership roles in a homeschool group that we were both a part of, and it blossomed as that group was terminated... we formed another group together, but also both needed to take some time to heal the wounds from the mass chaos that we had just witnessed in the failed group.

God has since presented the opportunity for us to lean on each other in another situation, and I've noticed such a remarkable new friendship coming together. We've got shared goals for our relationships with God, homeschool group, our health, and our families. We are setting out to work together, and continue to see where our blossoming friendship will go. I can truly see God's hands all over it, and I'm so grateful that our father sees the importance of helping our friendship along and orchestrating the events that have transpired since last summer for the betterment of a much needed Godly friendship.

Speaking of our HS group:


Shortly before Christmas, a group of ladies in our homeschool group got together to have a night of fellowship & friends. We stayed in and had the option of bringing some projects that we needed to work on -- like gifts to wrap, Christmas cards to stuff, whatever you needed to get done. It was one of the best nights I'd shared with friends in a while. I truly loved it, and in the process we had a cookie swap too. In addition to this, we set up a secret snowman sister program -- where for the winter months, we each have a secret snowman that we will love on and support through notes and small gifts to help make her feel loved.

I can't wait to see where this group will take us, and where the friendships will flourish through like minded moms. I just know that I feel like God has finally put us in a place where we belong, and where we are loved on -- as well as able to love on others. Our next Mom's Night In event is at the end of this month where we will play games and have walking tacos -- and be able to pick up our first secret snowman gifts!

If you are in the Houston area, and are looking for a supportive group of homeschool families that would welcome you with open arms -- please let me know -- I would love to hook you up with our group.

The YaYa's

Things have been crazy, and I've got some news to document here on the blog... but I want to wait until Friday to put it out there so that I can understand more about it to explain it fully. In the mean time, I want to share with ya'll something that has been a huge blessing in my life.

In my adult years, I have struggled with finding a good core group of friends that would be the type of ladies that I could count on in times of need. You know the ones that step up when tragedy strikes or ladies that are there to celebrate the good times with you as well. The ones that you can call in the middle of the night if you needed something. They are rare.

I hear about ladies that have "besties" or "BFFs" -- I just haven't really felt like I've had those in a while, there are a couple of ladies that I love dearly... but life gets in the way sometimes and we aren't as close as we used to be.

Insert the YaYas -- like the movie only, it's real.

One of my friends who is in the middle of the photo on the right side, started this group. Her mother has been involved in one of these groups since she was young, and they have a wonderful time together. So she started one of her own! I'm so thrilled that she did!

We have a Facebook group to be able to share information and even invite new friends if we want to. Initially she made sure that she invited people to be a part of it, and that each of them would know at least one other person in the group. For instance, you see me here on the left of the picture and another friend next to me -- we went to church together along with J.

Out of about 20 people in the group right now, the 5 of us made it to the first meeting. It is set for every second Saturday of the month at 7PM... so that makes it easy. We meet at a restaurant and have a few other special things planned.

June and December will have special things tied to them - in June we are going to meet at someone's home and have a Favorite Things Birthday celebration. The plan is that we will get together to celebrate everyone's birthday at one time, and do a Favorite Things exchange. You pick one thing that you just can't live without and bring one for each person attending - then you go home with a little something from each person. Then in December we will have a Christmas party -- which may involve a white elephant exchange or an ornament exchange or something... or who knows we might do something else.

We've thrown around ideas about doing secret sister things... but we've also added a cookbook to the plan too. At each meeting we are all going to bring recipes to the meetings, a different category each meeting... and Molly is going to put it all together into a cookbook for us.

We eventually would like to start traveling together... and just generally share in life's journey together. I am so honored and thrilled to be doing this with such wonderful ladies. I personally am grateful because I'm about to go through a big health journey, and knowing that they'll have my back if I need it is comforting. Also having my family around makes it so much easier to know that I'm close to family who will also be around for us as well.

As they say, this is the start of a beautiful friendship...

Loss & Legacy

In 2007, I began a journey that introduced me to two people (many others too, but for this story -- these two are the important players) - Laurie & Jil. These two wonderful women have been my friends ever since, and have lived through some great highs and some lows with me.

 (Laurie, Kim, and Jil - 2010)

I think about the things that have happened in my life since I met them -- I lost 100 pounds (some is back, but I've got a plan for that), Infertility struggles, 2 babies in 6 months, Moving to TN, Moving back to TX, and some great personal & professional successes. Last week, we were joking about all the things we were going to do once I got home to Texas again, but then life changed. Laurie got sick at the end of last week unexpectedly, and she passed away yesterday morning. The picture below is Laurie looking radiant with her boyfriend, John. The photo was used as part of a page that was set up to keep everyone in the loop on how she was doing -- but now, please Pray for Laurie's family & friends as we say good bye this week.

 

Laurie was one of the most encouraging and genuine people I've ever known. She loved selling Scentsy, which made us closer because I was on her team. When she passed, she had about 100 people in her group and she made time for each and every one of them. She loved each of us, and believed we could achieve anything in this business. She was a shy person, just like me... but she made it work. She went on all sorts of incentive trips, convention trips, and leadership trips with her business - she REALLY made it work.

I was able to attend the Scentsy Family Reunion with her this summer in Indianapolis, and I will treasure that time forever. We had 5 ladies sharing a room as well as friends everywhere we turned - it was truly an amazing experience. Here is a picture of Laurie and I just before we got to enjoy a Kelly Clarkson concert to open up the event.

It's very sad that I've lost a friend, but also that she won't be able to continue doing the things she loved so much. So a group of ladies that went to convention together this year have made it our mission to carry on Laurie's legacy. We all want to promote and walk the stage next year as Directors (Laurie's rank at the time she passed away) carrying a banner or wearing t-shirts honoring her.

I would be grateful for any help with I can get on this mission... there are 3 ways to help, 3 product lines to choose from, and you will have my gratitude forever for helping in any way. It'll be tough to meet this goal, but I have faith that it's the right thing.

Laurie helped everyone that she worked with without ever thinking twice about it or ever giving a single thought to if it would benefit her. She was a light in a sometimes dark world, and I want to be that for everyone I encounter as well. I want to touch lives, and help people... Scentsy gives me a vehicle for that.

Each party that is hosted, each sale made, and each person that signs up to be on my team will help to reach this goal of honoring Laurie's memory. Scentsy family has 3 brands to choose from: Scentsy, Velata, and Grace Adele.

Scentsy is a line of great fragrance products for the home, body, and laundry... wickless candle warming systems safe to use around kids and pets... bath & body products in some of the same familiar scents... and now you can even add the scents to your laundry!

Velata is a line of fabulous family friendly mealtime products...we started with chocolate fondue warmers... recently added cheese and chocolate flavorings... and now have an entirely new table top grilling product line coming out next week! Our mission is to bring families together at meal time -- to provide families with time to put their phones and electronics away and enjoy time together over a meal.

Grace Adele is a line of accessories that can be customized for every person's style... there are handbags, clutches, and wallets that you can put together to create the perfect look for you - in 8 of the hottest colors for the season, you can mix and match them. Additionally, there is jewelry to go along with these systems to create a complete look that is all your own.

How would YOU like to help make this mission a reality? How will YOU help us honor Laurie's legacy? Contact me today!

Forever Friends

So many of you fall into the Forever Friends category for me - and will soon be getting let in on a little New Years goal of mine - once I get it organized this week. Trying to get caught up on this blogging deal and then will be jumping off on that one.

While I was gone though - I had an opportunity for a girls night out. I met two of the greatest friends in the world for some yummy Cheesecake Factory food and hilarious girl talk. You know those friends that you don't talk to regularly or see often... but when you do - it's like no time has passed at all? Those are the ladies I was with!

We had a fabulous time - even after I drove around the mall for 45 minutes trying to get a parking spot because the valet was closed. Finally, it reopened and I was able to valet to get inside the building. It was insanity though - I had like 3 parking spots stolen from me!

We laughed, giggled, talked, and ate for about 3 hours - and I left feeling totally refreshed. I miss those girls like crazy, but we made a standing date for every trip back to Houston. We may change the restaurant - but the get together will happen!

Before I moved we had the same girls night out - including one other very special friend who was out of town this time... but the 4 of us WILL get back to this routine on my next trip. We will plan it before I even arrive next time.

Do you have good girl friends like that? I felt very blessed for their friendship and understanding of what it's like to move, have toddlers, and know me well enough to know what I've been going through without me having to articulate it.

May 2012 be the year you foster friendships like this - and intensify their bond in your life. No time like the present to put the focus in your life one the people that will be there for you no matter what! I will fill you in on my friendship New Years Goal as soon as I get it started and flushed out - give me about a week, and you'll know the details!

Help the B's

*** Well, lovely... this was supposed to post A LONG time ago, but didn't... Please help this lovely family!

So, you guys have all witnessed my calls for prayers and love for my dear friend Summer and her husband Adam. They have been through the wringer! After all that they've been through:

• 2 lost angels & the loss of a fallopian tube
• 5 failed IVF's
• the loss of Sum's beautiful Daddy, Butch
• sick kitties
• and many other struggles along the way

Summer and Adam want to adopt. They know that they are destined to be parents and want to share their love and warmth with a baby. This couple is amazing - they've weathered everything with grace and a fighting attitude, and I can't wait to celebrate their baby in whatever way he or she comes.

Maybe they'll be like John and I and be doubly blessed - I can only say that it's tough, but SO worth it.

Summer, I love you girlie and I know with all my heart that you will be a wonderful mother WHEN it happens... because it's only a matter of time.

So, how can you help? Well... the adoption costs are adding up - spreading the word and placing the ads they need to attract potential birth mothers isn't a cheap process - emotionally or financially. With the help of Kristen - Summer took one of her beloved Daddy's favorite sayings and turned it in to a print.

 

100% of the proceeds from the purchase of this print will go toward Summer & Adams adoption costs, and I'd really appreciate it if you'd wander over and get yourself a copy. You can buy it by clicking here.  I promise you these are two very deserving adorable people that you are helping, and two of the most grateful and gracious folks around.

Blog Day of Silence

Today isn't about me, my family or my opinions about current events... it's a day where a big group of women are honoring a special lady in the blog world, Summer. Her sweet Daddy, Butch, lost his battle with cancer on Sunday - and today are the services devoted to his memory in her hometown in Louisiana.

Summer has been through a rough time over the last two years - she's endured more than most do in a lifetime, and this turn of events breaks my heart in so many ways. I remember just a few weeks ago being thrilled because her Dad had gotten the word that he was cancer free after all of his treatments... and thinking that FINALLY the tides were turning in Summer's favor and that this might be the start of all of her dreams coming true.

For whatever reason, that wasn't the case in this scenario - and I can't imagine how incredibly hard this is on her... it breaks my heart because I know that the world lost an incredible man this week - I never personally met him - but I know how special his daughter is... so that is all I need to know. Summer is one of the most selfless people I've ever known... she goes out of her way to encourage everyone around her, and to be a wonderful friend inspite of her hard-times.

She has taught me so much about how to handle adversity with grace, and how to keep putting one foot in front of the other to fight on another day. That isn't to say that there aren't days when she needs us to lift her up for a change... and this happens to be one of those days. I can't imagine a more difficult day in the life of a child, but I'm so grateful that she was able to be there with her Dad in his final week, days, and moments. I can't imagine anywhere else I'd rather be in that situation than soaking up every second that you have... it won't ever be enough, but special time together just the same.

I have no doubt in my mind that she has a special guardian angel up in Heaven walking along side her now. I also know with all my heart that Butch is, was, and will always be so incredibly proud of the woman his daughter has become... because she truly is one in a million.

Summer, I know that words won't ever be enough to fill the whole in your heart right now - but just know that you are in my thoughts, prayers, and heart... I love you girl, and I wish I could be there with you today holding your hand. In my mind, I'm there with you... and standing along side you to give you whatever strength that I possibly can. I'm here for anything you might need - so don't hesitate to ask.

Can you beat us?

So my friend Jenn, and I were chatting today... a continuation of a conversation that started a while back about desperate eating habits. You know, those times in your life where you're so hungry - you'd do something out of the ordinary and eat a random item.

Mine? A pat of butter...

Hers? Some dry apple cinnamon oatmeal mix...

What can we say - desperate times call for desperate measures... Sooooo, in the spirit of transparency... what have YOU eaten in your desperate times? Can you beat us?

#Twag Sale

My friend Pam over at The Accessory Whore is participating in an awesome opportunity this Saturday!! It's called a #Twag Sale - it's where women everywhere are coming together to clean out their closets and scores some good deals.

Do you have anything in your closet that still has the tags on it? Shoes you had to buy - but haven't ever worn? Join in on the fun this Saturday and clean out your closet... you never know someone else out there might have something that will be just the thing to complete YOUR wardrobe!

Pop on over and check out the details on all the fun at The Accessory Whore - you won't regret it!

Help for a Friend

If you've been around here for a little bit - you've likely heard me talk about my favorite lady in NYC, Summer.

Summer and her husband have taken steps to begin their own adoption process, and it's a little different than ours - so they will have to do some steps that we didn't, and some things that will likely add to the high costs of adoption in general.

I'm taking these words from her blog:
We have taken steps to make our baby dreams come true via a private adoption. This is something that is in the works. We have yet to get certified, so we technically can't and aren't advertising right now. But we will be and the costs will be significant. We will receive the markup on your purchases to go toward our goal to become adoptive parents.

She has set up a store that will sell different items from t-shirts (people and puppies) to onesies... and I've got my eye on a onesie for a certain little guy in my life!! Would you take a minute and go look and see if you can help this wonderful couple out? They've gone through so much over the last two years... starting with a miscarriage that cost Summer one of her fallopian tubes to several rounds of IVF. I know of few others that deserve a baby like they do - because their house is so full of love.

 So go check out her site and if you can - please make a little purchase. (I believe other designs are in the works as well)

CafePress Store

A favor...

Those of you that don't read through Google Reader or something similar... don't forget to go read this post I wrote earlier.

If you guys - all two of you that read - could do me the biggest favor on the planet... I'd really appreciate it. Could you please say a prayer or fifty for my friend Summer? I love this lady so much - she is just a beautiful embodiment of the human spirit, and friendship... we have so much in common (waiting for babies, wanting a more fulfilling career, baking)... and it breaks my heart to see her in pain.

She's been dealt a nasty blow this week - sort of like the one we experienced... the pain is similar - the situations different. Won't you please say a prayer that Summer & Adam and John & I will be blessed with the children we so rightly deserve?

The four of us have so much love to give to the children we are blessed to raise... and the emotional toll of the last few years is very difficult for us all. So pray that Baby H and Baby Brown would come to us soon - so that we can celebrate and enjoy them!

If you wouldn't believe it - she wrote a post that brought tears to my eyes today with this post... and then turned around and made me laugh out loud with this post!

Overdue

I've been meaning to write this for a little over a week, but such is my life right now... I haven't gotten around to it until now... and maybe that is because I haven't taken my medicine for my back/neck today - which I just realized is hurting again... greeeeat!

Anyway, a very special friend of mine sent me a lovely little bundle of goodies last week - or maybe the week before - did I say that I've started to lose all track of time?!

It is a beautiful little set of reminders to keep the faith - and I so appreciate her and her friendship. You've heard me talk about Jenn before, and honestly the friendship that we've developed is nothing short of a miracle - because we are able to help each other through all sorts of trials in our lives - and I can only speak for myself... but I am a better person because I know her.

I am so excited and filled with hope that 2010 will give us at least 1 opportunity (maybe 2) to get to see each other in person and get to truly hang out with each other. That is if I can speak... hahahaha! I'm sure that with her outgoing personality - she'll have me going in a fairly short amount of time.

You wanna see what she sent? Okay!!

She also sent a very sweet note, but we'll keep that just between us... I love you girl, and from the bottom of my heart - thank you for always being there to encourage me and love me for just who I am.

I also wanted to share one of my Christmas gifts with you guys - we did some changing up of our house just before Christmas - as you all know. We used to have a fish tank in our entry way, but we took it out because we are really over the fish thing... and weren't paying as much attention to it as we did in other places we've lived.

So I asked for something to put on the wall on my wish list this year, and it is gorgeous... I love it!

This one piece totally sums up the color scheme of my whole house... the sort of rich Tuscan colors pretty much make their appearance in every room of the house.

I hope that you're all having a good weekend - we sure have! I just wish that I could make it last longer than it has... because I certainly would love (and could use - for my muscle recovery) a few more days like this!

Brilliance On Hold

Ya'll, I came home last Sunday from church 100% inspired to write an awesome post based on our sermon - but somehow, I didn't get to it. For the last 5 days - I've had my Dad's side of my family here at our house which means that our house of normally 2 people... became 13 people. Whew!

We had some good times though - and I got a massage for Christmas!! I got several other things, and the baby got some nifty things too... more about that later.

Did you guys know that today is a palindrome? 01022010... pretty neat, huh?! Someone much smarter than I am told me that this morning... so thanks Pammers!

Anyway - I hope that you're all having a fanastic start to the New Year... 2009 wasn't good for a lot of people close to me... so here's praying that 2010 will bring us all some peace, happiness, and our heart's desires.

So at church on Sunday - we talked about looking back at the accomplishments of 2009, and looking ahead to setting some new goals for 2010... which is our sermon for tomorrow. One challenge that our pastor gave us all was to look back at the year, whether it has been good or bad and make a list of the blessings that you have had in your life... so in that light... here is mine... better late than never, right?

• John had weight loss surgery in March of 2009
• John has lost 145 pounds so far in his journey
• Our fertility treatment journey came to an end with a beautiful outcome... 
• My relationship with Christ has become deeper than it has ever been before
• I stepped outside of my box and did a very rewarding interview for one of our church services
• I completed the New Testament Challenge - in 12 weeks, I read the entire New Testament
• I've made some wonderful new friends and deepened relationships this year - I am so grateful for Danielle, Jenn, Summer, Natalie, Trace, all of my CFF family, Kristen, Becky, Bonnie, Joanna, Christy, the Heathers, Kim, Jil, Laurie, Meghan, and all of my blog readers! 
• Ironcially - I am also grateful for Facebook... because I've connected more deeply with lots of my church family and my cousins this year...
  
• We started the adoption process, and are hopefully expecting an addition to our family in 2010! 

Those are the biggest highlights that I can think of right now... I'm sure there are others, but this is what came to mind initially. This doesn't talk about my goals or "resolutions" - it's hard to set those up when you're still in the midst of the holiday shuffle... but I've got some that I'll post about soon. Maybe tomorrow, I will write about the books I've been reading, and my goals for 2010.

In the meantime, what blessings did you have in 2009? What are you most excited about for 2010?

Window to the Inside

Before we jump off into something slightly deep - please remember to go enter to win in my Christmas Giveaway!!

Have you every felt completely and totally helpless? I've heard that it is an emotion often felt by parents when their children are sick... the type of helplessness where there is absolutely nothing you can do to make a situation better - but there is nothing in the world that you want more.

I've experienced that feeling several times in the last few months with special friends... there have been so many wonderful women that my life has crossed paths with lately - and the last month or so has been extremely tough for two of the closest ones of the bunch.

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel for one of them, Jenn - and I see prayers being answered for her in many different ways.  That being said, she has had an incredibly tough go of it lately - and had to make choices that I will continue to admire. She gave it all over to God, and let him guide the situation to closure - and her thirst for life is amazing.

She inspires me to look deeper into my faith and to always remember that I am nothing without my Lord and Savior. She is with me every step of the way - thank goodness she introduced me to G-chat several months ago! Lately, an incredible love of all things crochet have taken over in her world - and I'm so thrilled to know that our baby will someday be the proud owner of the first blanket she's ever made. The one thing that someday she'll have to teach me the art of is shopping for a bargain. I tend to be the woman that runs into the store knowing exactly what I need - and grab it and go. I have zero patience for hunting for a bargain - but then again - I haven't had my own personal bargain shopping Yoda there to teach me. (I am a young grasshoppa ready to learn!)

Jenn is incredibly silly, and is so quick to make herself the punch-line of a joke. I'll never forget the day that I fell out of my chair at work laughing at her unfortunate fashion choice... that she posted for the world to see on her blog - and actually tried to defend. HA! (Love you girl!) She just has a general love of all things that I find inspirational - and I hope to get to have the fortunate opportunity to spend some time with this lovely lady on this side of Heaven. She is also waiting for a baby miracle of her own - and I pray daily that God will grant her that wish above all the others that he is working out for her right now.

Another friend, Summer - man... I'd love to see some answered prayers for her right now. She needs it so much. I want it for her. I need to see this happen for her. I beg and plead with God to give her peace and comfort through the storm.

Summer has had a rough week, her third IVF treatment didn't take - and her three little birds have gone to be with Jesus instead of getting to grow and thrive with Summer and Mr. B. It is often hard to reconcile why these things happen to the most wonderful people. I have felt the pain that Summer is feeling - I wake up every day with my arms empty right now too. There is nothing like that when you have a desperate desire in your heart to be a parent. I can honestly say that I have been given the grace, comfort, and peace within my own struggle to know that it is not a matter of IF but more of WHEN.


Summer is a beautiful woman with a wonderfully warm heart, and a silly spirit that constantly makes me smile. Whether she's looking at bacon images and sending me scandalous pictures - or she's sharing her obsession with mustaches with the world... her zest for life is amazing... and I hope that she'll rub off on me somehow.

I know deep down in my heart that Summer WILL without any doubt in my mind become a mother - and she will be a fantastic mommy to her babies... they will certainly have a beautiful soul to guide them through and exciting life in New York City, while teaching them about her southern Louisiana roots - read southern manners. I'm pretty sure those kiddos will have a crazy love of fleur de lis, mustaches, bacon, bubble tea, stationary, fashion, all things Etsy, and all things LSU.

Somehow between Summer and Jenn (with the help of a few of their close friends) they will break me down and make me get over my irrational fear of talking on the phone. I don't know where that started, but literally - Summer can give you all a clear image of this... but I've gotten to a point where I'll even ask her to not answer the phone so that I can leave her a message. I've GOT to get over this somehow - especially before April... when I'm supposed to meet some of the most wonderful women in the world in Austin... every bone in my body is excited about that, but I know myself too well - and when the time comes - I'll become the skiddish person that I really am and will try everything in the book to back out. I don't want to do that - but I know myself. Someone will have to force me to do it - and then I'll love every minute of it - but someone has to force me outside of my comfort zone.

I sometimes feel like I am an inadequate friend - and I felt the need to share with Jenn & Summer how much they mean to me. I pray for them daily, and would give both of my arms to make sure that they both have every desire in their hearts. I would wait as long as it takes for my miracle if it meant that I could see both of them get their wish first.

I have met several other incredible women (Christy, Becky, Bonnie, and Kristen to name a few)  through these two ladies - I consider them to be the first of my ladies that I met and got close to outside of my original girls (the Cut & Paste girls - who I miss as they have all fallen off the planet lately!)

It is funny because I went to a University where a lot of people talk about how people that haven't experienced the culture there wouldn't ever understand it... and I think that blogging is very similar. Unless you've done it and met some of the other incredible women out there that have shared experiences... you just can't conceptualize what the bonds are like. We are different women on our blogs often - we are able to share things that in our everyday lives we might keep bottled up from the world... but somehow we've found a common place to let those things out, bare our souls, and support each other. For that, I will forever be grateful.

Much love bloggy friends!!



Copyright © 2007-2010 Thoughts By Kim. The content on these pages, including text and images are the sole property of the author unless otherwise noted. All rights reserved.

Disaster Relief

Funny title to a post you might be thinking... but hang in there with me for a little bit. I've been thinking a lot lately about those of us ladies who are still hoping and waiting for a miracle baby in whatever form that takes in each of our homes. Some are waiting for fertility treatments to work. Some are waiting for it to happen naturally. Some are waiting for an adopted baby. Some are just waiting - because they don't know which road to take yet.

I've been hearing a lot of talk lately about disaster recovery. It's mainly because I work in an organization that is really instrumental in storm recovery for our area... BUT the messages are clear and can be molded to fit any portion of your life. Then last night - I was reading my Bible and the same themes were popping up in the reading.

Think about a time in your life when things were so bad... that you couldn't imagine them getting any worse. For me, that would be the day that I understood that the fertility treatments weren't working - and probably never would be successful. My own worst nightmare - unimaginable. Dark. Lonely. Envious. Broken.

Now, think about the people that showed up in that moment to lift you and walk along side you through that storm. I can think of several off the top of my head that have been there every step of the way. They know who they are... my angels, my light, my soul sisters... my greatest friends. (The women that recieved an email yesterday in one of my moments of panic.) Several are blog friends like: Jenn and Summer... and now Kristen. Some are ladies that I never really thought of as friends... but they stepped up and have been amazing.

Some that I thought would be there - weren't for whatever reason and that's okay. I'm sure that there are reasons that they couldn't be there... and I love them still. I'm just grateful that there were others waiting in the wings to fill their spot.

One thing that I've heard over and over is that you need at least a handfull of friends that you could call in the middle of the night - and they'd be there. In my life, being there doesn't necessarily mean that they'd drive right over to my house... just an open heart and a kind word is all I'd ever need. I feel like I do have that... and if I'd just get over my insane fear of the phone... I know that they'd be there in a heart-beat.

It's a crazy virtual world we live in these days, and for all the good & bad that it brings... I'm so glad to be living in it. Without the world of blogging - I wouldn't have had the opportunity to get to know so many women that are simply amazing. Heck, I wouldn't have met John if it weren't for the internet!

I guess in my own weird way, I am working around to being thankful for what I have... even if there is still a void in my heart at the moment waiting for my miracle. Today, while we might be getting a Christmas miracle outside (lets all pray that John and I can get back home if it truly does snow) I just wanted to remind you readers and myself how grateful I am for the blessings that I do have.

Even in it's own weird way, infertility has been a blessing. Without the darkest of moments - I might not have gotten to the place spiritually that I am today. It's hard not to see a living breathing relationship with God as being a bad thing. It was a hard road to get there, for sure... but he's gotten me through to a place where I can see that his plans are much better than any that I could come up with on my own.

So that's it folks - that's where I am today... so tell me... what was your darkest moment? Did the people that showed up to walk beside you surprise you in any way? Was it all the folks you expected? Or were there some surprises?



Copyright © 2007-2010 Thoughts By Kim. The content on these pages, including text and images are the sole property of the author unless otherwise noted. All rights reserved.