What Are We Doing?

I'm going to start by saying that I realize that people won't agree with me and, that's okay. Just please be respectful of all points of view.

Here I sit on the 17th anniversary of September 11th, and I wonder often... how did we get here? In so many ways we've gone backward on the unity of that time. I remember the incredible resilience and pride that you could visibly see for days, weeks, and months after that horrible day. So how is it that we got to this place in 2018?

What place, you might ask? The place where we are so divided on EVERYTHING. Is it the social media factor? I don't know... is it the keyboard warrior mentality? Maybe. Is it the complete lack of even attempting to see things from the other side? More on point.

I remember the days when we could freely be different - and that was okay. I mean, some of my dearest friends spend a lot of their time doing things that I don't agree with politically, but I respect their right to do that. We're even so aware of it that it's a joke now... she will call me out and say... I know you won't agree with this, Kim, but... You know what? It doesn't hurt me.

For me, I'm a firm believer in the "You Do You" way of life. If you want to do something, go all in. Many of my friends look completely different from me, and I think that is really cool... at least until my 8-year-olds ask them what a tattoo is... they were just curious why my friend drew on herself every day. HAHA Oh, kids. But, I digress.

More to the point - there are two things that I'm seeing lately and they just blow my mind.

One -- this whole Nike thing. Look, I stand for the anthem and for the flag. Last I checked, it's legal to burn that same flag... the fundamental difference for me is that you're not allowed to burn said flag at work... but that isn't the point either for this argument. Nike chose their spokesperson, and you don't agree with them. No problem. Burning shoes and clothing is a bit too far though. Donate them! There are plenty of people in your own backyard in need of those items and, they don't care what logo is on the item. If you want to boycott, fine... if you don't, fine. See, You Do You. It's okay to choose another brand to spend your dollars on, but it's also okay to continue wearing the items you already purchased. It's a commercial, and honestly... when was the last time you watched a commercial? I spend all of my time DVRing things or streaming them so that I DON'T have to watch them anymore.

Now for point 2 -- I've seen several articles, and I even believe there is a whole Facebook group devoted to this cause... but there is an uprising over the book Girl, Wash Your Face... such an uprise that when I posted about hosting a book club on the book - I got a message from a friend who I love and respect asking me to reconsider hosting or reading the book.

Her concern was that Rachel's theology wasn't sound, and she didn't want me to be swayed. Here is where I'm at with this. I love and respect this friend, but on this point and others, we don't agree. This can happen between people sitting next to you at church too. Fundamentally, those within the walls of your church will agree on salvation and that it comes from Jesus dying on the cross for our sins. From there, most of the rest is up to your interpretation... and how you read the Bible scriptures that day. Haven't you noticed that you can read a verse and it means one thing to you today... and if you read it again a couple years later - you might take something completely different way from the words.

This book is written by a woman that believes in Jesus. That's where her need for sound theology stops for this book because that isn't what the book is about. She is an imperfect Christian writing a book about things that she has believed in her life. I'm a Christian woman who has faced some of those same things in my life. So it resonates with me. It won't with everyone, I've seen some posts from people that just don't see what the hype is for... and that's okay too. It's not going to be for everyone, but that doesn't make her wrong.

I think the danger here comes when we put these expectations on Christians that everything they write, say, or do has to be theologically sound. We are sinners. We are broken people. There is only ONE perfect person, no one else will ever measure up to Him. Christians can write books that are not spiritually based... or at least I hope so.

I'm currently writing a book, and I would hope that people aren't looking for me to teach them anything beyond my words. My book is about our journey to parenthood, and it's about finding hope in God to endure the journey. I'm not trying to teach anyone how to apply it in their own lives, but sharing our story of hope and redemption for them to apply however they see fit. Not every book written by a Christian is meant to teach theology... there are plenty of them that are meant for that... Rachel's is not.

I pray for a day when life isn't this US or THEM mentality that we've got going right now because it's only serving to break us farther apart. If you don't agree with my points on these issues, that's perfectly okay because you haven't lived in my shoes... you've lived in yours, and you've got different filters. The fundamental difference is how you approach this information - do you attack first, or do you attempt to see it the way that I do - then disagree respectfully. That respectful disagreement and mutual respect is able to live and breathe again.

Where it begins...

So, we've elected a new President. Like it or not, it is finished. All that is left is how you deal with it.

More than that, remember that the children are watching and hearing everything that you are and are not saying. They are picking up on all of it, and learning a lot more than you think they are.

Sadly, we are quickly learning that our issues are much deeper than what they seem on the surface. They are much more than the simplistic labels that are placed on everyone from both sides.

We have taught a whole generation that they are all winners. That everyone gets a trophy, and gets credit for just showing up. That isn't how the world works, and we're learning that people out there don't know how to win or lose graciously.

I see two sides of this going on in America today. I see those that are being horrible winners, and those that are being horrible losers. Fundamentally, America didn't change with the outcome of one election. Some won and some lost -- just as it has been since the very beginning of our system of government. Some will be happy and some will not.

What has changed overtime is that we have lost the ability to deal with opposition.

I believe that in my heart of hearts, we are all the same. We want to be heard. We want to be brought to the table, and given a voice. Somewhere in the middle of all of this - we started putting labels on those of us that are different, and began demonizing the differences.

I learned the hard way how to lose, and how to win. I learned that kindness always wins, no matter the outcome. I won't change that, and in everyday America - things work just fine. I don't see your political views in our everyday exchanges in the grocery store, lines at the Post Office, or anywhere else. I see a fellow human being, and I act accordingly. If I see you struggling, I will help. If I see you in need, I will try to the best of my ability to fill your need. If I see you crying, I will offer a shoulder. If I see you bleeding, I will offer a band-aid.

I happen to be a Christian, that's no secret. The message of that has been lost by some very misguided individuals that are spreading hate in the name of my Lord and savior. I don't believe in that. I believe that we are to love everyone no matter what. We are to reach out and offer our hand in love to people. We are to welcome them in.

Just like all other groups -- there are good and there are extremists that are bad. My vote, doesn't boil down my belief system into one category or another. You don't want me to do that to you, so please don't do that to me.

Ultimately, it all begins at home. We have to live it out -- our beliefs -- outwardly. We have to teach our children what is okay and what is not. We have to be diligent. More than that, we have to act like humans. If you are happy or unhappy with the outcome of the election - take your moment to gather your thoughts, and then start working kindly towards your solution. Spread your message in a way that is kind.

 Remember that we can't all win all of the time. Life will go on... and there will be another election. If you don't like the way it turned out, or even if you do. It is up to you to spread your message without all of the hate that we will be remembered for in 2016.

If you voted for Trump - I love you.

If you voted for Clinton - I love you.

If you voted for Johnson - I love you.

If you voted for Stein - I love you.

If you voted for McMullin - I love you.

If you wrote in a vote - I love you.

If you didn't vote at all - I love you. (we need to talk, but I love you!)

Be the light, friends. Make the world sparkle with your message, instead of spreading darkness.

Scripture and Loving One Another

I've been reading and hearing about the Jen Hatmaker interview for a couple of weeks now, and I have definitely got some thoughts on this.

I don't even really want to go there because I think that her position is just a bit outside of what the Bible commands of us. Ultimately, we all are sinners in every aspect of life... we all fall short of the example of Christ, but that doesn't mean that we as Christ followers need to stay quiet on the subject either.

I think that the Bible commands us to tell someone when they are about to jump off of a bridge, but to do so lovingly and with complete regard for the person's heart. Meaning that the Bible is clear on what is right and wrong, but it is also clear on things like redemption. We all sin differently, and that is what makes us human.

Where we go wrong is how we deliver the message of the Bible. Sometimes it is not an easy message to hear, because we all tend to read it while using the lens making our own sin okay. I feel like some of us are aware of our sins while others tend to say to themselves, "My sin isn't as bad as theirs, so I'm okay." If only it worked that way.

Here is the thing about the Bible... it is the same today as it was thousands of years ago... the base message hasn't changed. So we can't filter it on what society thinks is okay in 2016 -- it is the same message of right and wrong from all those years ago. I shutter to think what some of these incredible biblical figures would say about all of the petty things that we are dealing with in 2016.

The insanity of the whole safe rooms on college campuses and the constantly offended culture we have today is just beyond the imaginable. Why is it that we can't disagree on things today without having a march and tear gas being needed? What happened to the days when we disagreed, and everyone went on about their day without having to scream and yell to defend your opposing viewpoints?

It's okay to disagree. One dear friend of mine and I are at complete odds over the whole Jen Hatmaker saga, but we can still love each other and respect our differing viewpoints.

Ultimately, what the whole Jen Hatmaker deal is about is that you can't change the scripture to fit 2016 society. You can't decide, this is now okay -- even though the Bible says that it is not. The main issue I have with her is that she does so with people knowing she is a Christian writer and speaker, so she has a large audience that has to hold her accountable when her message isn't what we believe to be the truth. Now, how you choose to handle it is completely up to you. You can choose to love all as you would hope that they would love you -- OR -- you can spew hate that makes everyone think that Christians are a bunch of bullies with Bibles.

I personally, choose the former as my point of view. As with any sin, I can't possibly know about someone else and their relationship with Christ. People that go to church on a weekly basis, can just as easily be living a lie as someone that doesn't go to church. You just never know what is in someone's heart -- so it's a dangerous assumption.

You just have to love others as they are part of your family, and know that one day, they will meet their maker too. They alone will deal with the choices they made, and they have to know for themselves where they will end up. It's not for us to judge or even condemn them for.

I just wish that everyone would stop making the opposing view point the villain in their own story, just remember that the people with those opposing view points are people that deserve to be loved too.

Heavy Heart

I wasn't going to post about this, but I just can't help it. A little over a week ago a Deputy with the Harris County Sheriff's Office was gunned down at a gas station about 4 miles from my home. How did our community react? Was there rioting? Nope. There were prayer vigils, and marches/walks, and a memorial set up at the site of the murder.

There were blue ribbons wrapping trees all over the area, signs printed for donations in all of our yards, and even more fundraisers all over the area. The response has been incredible, and I couldn't be more proud of how we have moved through these days of great tragedy.

I watched as this really graceful woman and her children lived out the most nightmarish of events in public, and how the law enforcement community rallied around her in the most beautiful funeral I've seen in a long time. The message was amazing. Dr. Ed Young spoke, and had these words to give:

"Things are changing,” Young said. “There will be a new Houston, a new Texas, a new America. “And you can write it down. We have your back,” he told officers as the funeral crowd stood and applauded.

This was the grief that was visible on their faces, and I literally wanted to go hug her in that moment. I can't imagine what it must be like for any first responder's family or military family to send your family member: Dad, Mom, Husband, Wife, Sister, Brother... etc. off to work and not know if they will come back at the end of the day. The only thing like that in my lifetime has been my cousin going off to war in Iraq or some of John's cousins serving on the police force.

As I've watched my children over the last few days and weeks; we've talked a lot about that Deputy and what his family is going through. We've talked at length about what it means for his children. Through it all, I've noticed them playing like they are policemen more often. Which makes me wonder where we've gone wrong in America. 

What happened between being innocent children and becoming teens/adults that makes anyone think that the police are after them or targeting them? When did race relations in this country go back to the days of the 60's and earlier -- where we need campaigns like the Black Lives Matter movement? There are a few bad apples in all professions/races/religions... insert any group here. Of course Black Lives Matter -- ALL LIVES MATTER. All souls on this earth have parents, friends, and loved ones that care about them. 

All people matter. It doesn't matter what their offenses are to you. Whether you are for or against whatever their cause is -- you still don't have the right to take anyone life from anyone else. When you get to that point, you've committed a Hate Crime. Not to mention that I don't think you can use the Bible as your weapon of choice - we call ourselves Christians if we are using the Bible against each other. 

Jesus calls us to love one another  in spite of our sins, and we've all sinned. Just because we sin differently from others doesn't mean that we need to spew hate at them. We have to love them. We just have to. This country needs a WHOLE lot more love and a LOT less opinion being spewed all over the news and social media. 

We need to move beyond this, and take the message of love to others. Love and Acceptance. In these days leading up to the September 11th Attack -- we need to deeply remember how that all felt. We need to come together and STOP all of this junk. Come together and pray. Come together and put our differences aside. Come together and accept our neighbors for who they are -- then be blessed by how you are different. Above all.... 

 

Genie, You're Free: My thoughts on Suidide and Matt Walsh

 

Yesterday, the internet was on fire over a blog post by Matt Walsh. I understand that he was making a point, and I see some glimpses of possibly understanding what he was trying to say. I don't know if some of the uproar is because Matt Walsh can be a polarizing person in terms of his opinions. In most cases, I find myself agreeing with a lot of his thoughts... but on this one, I'm not so sure.

Here is the thing, suicide is an ugly dark word... and it's horrifying for most of us to think about. To think that someone feels so helpless in their situation that they would think there was no other option, is absolutely one of the saddest things I can imagine. Suicide has touched my family closely, and there just isn't any other way to describe it. We immediately go to the places of thinking about why we couldn't help the person that took their life. What signs did we miss?

Unfortunately, in this particular case... Robin Williams was open about his struggles even in the midst of what he dealt with. I just don't think anyone knew the depth of what he was dealing with... and even more so when he enjoyed making everyone laugh so much. I have to think that while he was a brilliant comedian, he also used humor as a coping mechanism. He was clearly someone that dealt with a lot of different issues, and I know his family and close friends are reeling from such a tragic shock.

Several things have come to my mind in the wake of hearing the news about what happened to this special man that shaped a generation with some of the most amazing characters to ever grace film.

1) No matter your thoughts about Matt Walsh and what he wrote -- writing unchristian things about a person makes you no better of a person you disagree with makes you no better of a christian in return. We can't spew hatred toward someone that we disagree with in response. We can't claim to know where Matt's heart is or know anything more than that he is a flawed person just like the rest of us.

2) Suicide is sad and scary, but there isn't any point in talking poorly of the person that committed the act. Not in the days shortly following it... or at any point in the future. I just don't feel like that does anyone any good. I see his point about treading lightly in how we talk about it with others that are dealing with similar issues, but I think there may have been a better way to convey that message.

3) I have dealt with some dark points in my life, and in the spirit of transparency... I have thought about taking my own life at a couple of points in my past. Fortunately for me, I haven't followed through. I don't believe that it was a flaw in my spirituality that caused me to go to those places, it was an illness that at that point in my life - I didn't see much hope. I have heard that Mr. Williams had bipolar disorder, and I think that the extremes that come from that quite possibly could be far worse than anyone who hasn't dealt with it could imagine. I know that there are things in my life, roads I have walked that no one would understand unless they have walked a mile in my shoes... so I'd say that unless we've been there... we shouldn't judge.

4) I hope that we can finally stop shaming people from being open about their struggles in life. We are meant to live in community with others, and my hope is that in the world's grief over what happened in this case... we can talk about it and try to find some better ways to prevention.

5) Additionally, to the news media... we have GOT to stop sensationalizing every detail that you can dig up in cases like this and so many others. It's enough to say, Robin Williams has passed away... the cause is suspected to be a suicide. That's it. End of story. The general public doesn't need to know every explicit detail from that point on. Only those close to the case need to know, and even at that -- I'm not sure that even they need or want to know. We've got to stop all of this -- I've been sucked in on some levels to cases like Casey Anthony, and really -- it's not for me to judge. So I quit watching the news so closely...

I saw two wonderful responses to the post and a very christian response, but I don't think that the root of what Matt was trying to say is wrong. He just didn't quite take the right approach. It may have been a choice for Robin to take his own life, but I feel deep in my heart that it was a choice where he felt he had no other alternative. I won't trample on the memories left behind of a man that seemed to have an amazing spirit, and a gentle soul. He deserves the benefit of the doubt because God forgives, and what people are trying to say now is that his soul is at rest... he no longer has to fight his inner demons anymore.

There is peace in that.

The Blame Game

I tried very hard to stay away from the coverage of the Boston Marathon tragedy this week, and managed to do it until this morning when things have just turned into pandemonium. It is so surreal to know that these events are actually happening -- in the real world -- not just on a movie screen.

It's so hard to watch and hear some of the coverage. Some are quick to blame the people of Chechnya. The truth is that there are good and bad people in every group you can think of. Radical extremists on every side of any issue. So it's not fair to blame an entire country or belief system. Are the fundamentally wrong? Maybe, but we don't know that for sure.

Did we condemn teenage boys as a whole after the Columbine shooting? No. Do we condemn all Christians when we hear about a church protesting military funerals? No. Sadly, there are many lost souls out there that are just a few wrong choices away from committing horrible sins against fellow citizens. To me, it's just plain sad and scary.

It's quickly becoming a time in history when we will fear everyone if we aren't careful. Remember the days after 9/11 when we all were hyper aware of things going on in airports? When we wanted to give every other passenger the side-eye in the attempt to determine if they were going to do the unthinkable as we boarded our flights to business or vacation destinations. Are we soon going to be afraid every time we see a black backpack?

These events happen all over the world, and we for the most part let it go as just a news story. It's not until it happens on our soil that we start to wonder why and place blame. Today, I think we're missing the big picture of the victims, the families of those victims, the families of the suspects, the shocked citizens waiting as the events unfold, and the families of the heroes out there trying to get to the truth.

Today isn't the day to pass judgement. We don't have all the facts. Today is a day to just try to hold on to our judgement while we watch the news seeing things unfold in real time. I almost wish we would all turn off our televisions... hold on to our families, and pray that no more people are harmed in the wake of these events.

I'm not faulting anyone for trying to figure out what is going on and why... I just don't want us to jump to the wrong conclusions. I try so hard to give people the benefit of the doubt -- normally to my own heart ache. Lets just try to focus our energies on rallying around the victims in Boston and the people of West, Texas. We can do much more good focusing on them than we can trying to figure out where to place the blame.

Tragedy at Lone Star College

I woke up this morning to find an email from a friend that was at Lone Star College the morning of the attack, and it rattled me in a good way. It is full of love and grace for her entire community, and as she goes back to class this morning to face her students for the first time since the attack... I would really love it if we could all lift her up. I know that nothing short of divine intervention could get me through a situation like this, and give me the words to try to start the healing process for all of the people she encounters today.

I asked her for her permission to share this with "the world" -- which won't happen unless I get some major help from all of you that might read this. Please pass this on to anyone you know -- this message is just as important as anything being shared by the media... and I believe more powerful to show the love and grace that my friend has for her students, and the attacker himself.

I've changed their names, and removed as much personal information as I can because this was originally sent to her friends and family. She has some security issues in her family that need to remain protected, and I take that very seriously.

Here is the note I got from her this morning:

Dear friends and family,

By now, I am sure you have heard about the tragedy at my campus on Tuesday, April 9. Unfortunately, the incident involved one of my students. Below, I have written an account of the day's events. Please continue to keep us in your prayers as we process and work through this.

Hopeful

            It started out like any other Tuesday this semester. The alarm clock went off entirely too early. After a restless night of sleep consumed by worries of "E"'s upcoming surgery, I groggily arose from bed and prepared for work. "M" and I made our way through congested Houston traffic, and after dropping her off I school, I coasted onto campus in time to make my way up to my classroom for the next five and a half hours of lecture.

            My first class was easy. I love lecturing on marriage and relationships. We had a peaceful discussion on the divorce rates in the US and I emphasized the individual's responsibility to having a successful relationship. As with many other times in my teaching career, I reminded my students that we cannot control others, but we can control our own communication and what we contribute to our relationships.

            My second class began at ten. With upcoming presentations, there was a bit of nervous tension in the air. We worked on impromptu speeches and I continuously praised my wonderful students for their hard work and just how far they had come in twelve short weeks. At the end of class, one of my students approached and asked, "Have you heard from Dylan? I'm worried about him. He is a big part of our group."

            I'll admit; I was confused. Dylan had been present and active in class. Why was he worried about him? I assured him that I would track Dylan down and make sure he was okay - I'd tell him how much he was treasured by his group.
            I sorted through lecture notes in preparation for my third class of the day. Suddenly, my phone rang. The voice on the other end cried out "Professor M, hurry hurry. Dylan, he stabbed some girl in the face. Professor M, they threw him on the ground. They are arresting him. You have to come help! Please hurry, hurry!"
            The desperation in her voice pierced my heart as I ran outside to find my students standing in shock. What in the world was going on? I ran to the police. I said, "He's my student. He's deaf. Please make sure he can hear you."
            My body started shaking. I had no idea what was going on - and crisis mode began. As an undergraduate, I had studied and written papers on school shootings in my Crisis Communication Management course. I went back to that place, desperately trying to figure a plan. I returned to my classroom and immediately checked my emails and the campus website. Nothing. No information. I made the decision to be logical rather than emotional and proceeded with class as scheduled. I knew that I had to be a voice of reason and stability for my students.

            We took attendance, discussed the remaining items on our course schedule, and then settled into lecture on the delivery methods in public speaking.

And then I received a text. Lockdown, shelter in place.

            I immediately remembered the emergency plan for our campus. We turned off the lights, barricaded the door with desks and quietly huddled in the corner. Students began to sob and cry. What was going on outside of our room? A new campus email told us that another assailant was on the loose. Was he/she in our building? What was going on?
            My three children's precious faces flashed in my mind. What would happen to them if I died? What would happen to my fragile girl who is currently rattled with health issues? "Dear God, please help me," I prayed. But I also knew that my students were someone else's children. Their parents were worried and relying on me to keep them safe and calm.
            Without thinking twice, I knew that I had to be calm, I had to be strong and I needed to pray for my students. Being a public institution, I asked my students if it was okay if I prayed out loud for them. They begged me to. And so I did. And then, the room filled with peace.
            It seemed like eternity, as we sat huddled in a dark quiet room. Students were using their smart phones to check media outlets for updates. The victim count was rising. First five, then eight, then twelve... I was terrified, but reason took over.  And then, classrooms in our hallway started to empty, and students filled the hallways. We heard the words that we were free to leave. We gathered our belongings and left the building.

            While we exited, one of my students, a gentlemen in Dylan's group, stood still and numb. I asked if he was okay. All he could say was, "What are we going to do about our project? Dylan was so important in our group." His shock and disbelief shook me to my core.
            When I knew my students had safely exited the building, my reason was replaced by overwhelming emotion. Was this really happening? Had my beloved student really just violently attacked multiple victims while he was supposed to be in my class? I began to shake and feel nauseous, fighting the urge to vomit in the parking lot. I placed calls to let my loved ones know I was okay. I cancelled the doctor appointment I was supposed to be at that afternoon. I tried to keep busy in my car to keep myself from falling apart.

            Over the next hour, I sat in line to exit the campus. Thoughts ran through my mind like an emotional marathon. Even twenty -hour hours later, I cannot process those thoughts clearly. I worried about the injured students - were they going to survive? I worried about my students - how were they holding up? I worried about my colleagues and learning community - how was this going to change us? But most of all, I worried about Dylan.

            My phone rang. It was the precious student who had frantically called me earlier. She wanted to make sure I was safe. And like me, she worried about Dylan. Right before class, she saw him in the hallway and gave him a hug. She proceeded up the stairs to class, while he claimed he was going to get a drink and would be there. Like me, she wondered, "how did this happen?" Would this young man, someone she called her friend, be okay?
            I replayed the previous 11 weeks of class in my mind. Were there signs? Did he say something that I should have noticed? Had he been angry or depressed? How on earth did I not see this? What if, what if, he had come to my classroom today?

            As fate would have it, an old friend from whom I was estranged, reached out to me last week. She lives directly across the street from the college. She called me and begged me to not drive home. She was right. I was in no shape to drive. After spending a couple of hours trying to calm down, I was able to safely drive home. And for the remainder of the evening, I struggled to make sense of such a senseless tragedy.

            Today, I awakened to a flood of emotions. It seems all so strange. Like I am reading about someone else's life. While never in immediate danger myself, I can't help but think how it could have easily been me and it could have happened in my class. Yet something deep inside tells me the reason he went across campus was because he couldn’t do this to people he knew, and people he knew cared about him. I feel shaky. My body is trying to process the amount of adrenaline in a million rushes all experienced in one day. I feel anger. The media trying to demonize Dylan, when I know he is not the monster they will paint him to be. If anything, he is a very sick young man that needs medical help. I feel grief. The loss for our community is great, and though I know we will rise above it, we will never be the same. I feel confused.

            But most of all, I feel hopeful; my students have handled this beautifully. I was overwhelmed by the number of text messages, emails and phone calls I received from my students thanking me and commending me for my actions during the crisis. The reality is, I am proud of them. I am thankful for them. I believe in them. And I believe in us. We are a special place. Not just a community college where people show up for classes, take tests and get grades. We are a unique body of learners who are living life together. We will overcome this.

            Haruki Murakami, contemporary Japanese writer has said, “And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”

            When this storm is over, we won't be the same. We will be stronger.

As I reread this, my blood ran cold all over again --I am in awe of my friend's strength and wisdom. Her ability to put reason over emotion is remarkable, I truly don't know if I would be able to have that poise... I pray I never have to find out. Will you join me in lifting her up today, and give her some divine words to use with her students today? Pray that a peace beyond understanding washes over them. 

I find it interesting that in the few media outlets that I looked at this morning - there is no mention of this story. While in some ways that is good, in others it worries me. Is it falling off the radar because there aren't any updates? Is it because it was a knife attack instead of a gun? Is it because there isn't anything that can be used to further a political agenda? I don't know, but I sincerely hope that this message from her can get out anonymously to the world -- so that just maybe we can all have some hope that while these tragedies keep happening in our country... there are some remarkable people on the ground working to help all of us get through it. 

Please consider posting about this, or even emailing a link to your family & friends. I will be sending this to her -- so feel free to post messages and comments. **Any that are disrespectful or hurtful will not be published.** 

Help in the Storm

I can't quite put my thoughts into words about what happened on Friday -- so I'm going to repost this and let it stand for itself today. 

In light of the horrible tragedy in Connecticut, Scentsy consultants are coming together to try to do something neat for the surviving students upon their arrival back at school after the holidays. Can you imagine the difficulty of that day? I certainly can't, so lets help them know that we are with them in spirit. Our goal is to have a Scentsy Buddy sitting on the desk of every student upon returning to school next month (hopefully excess for siblings and friends that were also impacted).

How awesome would it be for a HUGE truckload of these Buddies be delivered for these kids? 

A fellow Scentsy consultant who teaches at Sandy Hook is collecting the donations since we are unable to send directly to the school during the investigation. Scentsy Buddies are currently BUY ONE, GET ONE FREE, so your donation would be going to two children at Sandy Hook Elementary. ($26.91 buys two buddies!)

If you order, please order from the "Sandy Hook Students" party on my website. (You can PayPal me the $$ for the donation, and I'll save you the shipping costs) All hostess rewards will be used to donate additional Buddies to the students along with any commission I earn from this fundraiser.

My website is https://khawkins.scentsy.us -- If you want to order via my website: please leave me your email in your order so that I can let you know how many buddies we are sending at the close of the party. You will need to ship it to:
Heather Bishop
9 Goldmine Road
New Milford, CT 06776

** Any other Scentsy reps that would like to help -- Join in with this as the shipping address.

Thank you so much for helping support these students and this community during this horrible time. Please continue to pray not only for Newtown, CT, but our nation as a whole.

Help for Sandy Hook Students

In light of the horrible tragedy in Connecticut yesterday, Scentsy consultants are coming together to try to do something neat for the surviving students upon their arrival back at school after the holidays. Our goal is to have a Scentsy Buddy sitting on the desk of every student upon returning to school next month (hopefully excess for siblings and friends that were also impacted).

How awesome would it be for a HUGE truckload of these Buddies be delivered for these kids? 

A fellow Scentsy consultant who teaches at Sandy Hook is collecting the donations since we are unable to send directly to the school during the investigation. Scentsy Buddies are currently BUY ONE, GET ONE FREE, so your donation would be going to two children at Sandy Hook Elementary. ($26.91 buys two buddies) If you order, please order from the "Sandy Hook Students" party on my website. (You can PayPal me the $$ for the donation, and I'll save you the shipping costs) All hostess rewards will be used to donate additional Buddies to the students along with any commission I earn from this fundraiser. My website is https://khawkins.scentsy.us 

 ** Any other Scentsy reps that would like to help -- let me know and I'll send you the address for the hostess information.

Thank you so much for helping support these students and this community during this horrible time. Please continue to pray not only for Newtown, CT, but our nation as a whole.

Reality

My computer is still sick with a virus, so posting isn't very easy. Hopefully it will be fixed this weekend - and things will get a little easier. Basically right now, if I type too fast for this little crazy machine - it freaks out and starts putting gibberish on the screen. Good times.

This morning, I woke up to read about a friend of a friend who lost their 18 month old daughter yesterday to a piece of furniture falling on her. This hits so close to home because I've got two toddlers as you know - but both are boys - boys who love to climb on anything! Tyler likes to give me a daily heart attack trying to climb up our bookshelf for more books.

It's time to make sure that everything that has a high center of gravity is bolted to the wall. I know that I can't watch them every second of the day -which means that I need some peace of mind when I need to run to the potty by myself or get them another cup of juice.

Please take extra precautions with your own families. I can't imagine going through this type of tragedy, and I would hate to hear about anyone else going through it. I spoke with a friend this morning who works at our local children's hospital and it seems to be a fairly common thing... so please, PLEASE protect your kids.

I feel a bit guilty because at the very time that this family was losing their daughter - I was complaining about a temper tantrum being thrown in my living room. I can only imagine this mother giving anything in the world to be dealing with a temper tantrum right now... and that breaks my heart.

I love my kids more than I could even put into words, but the motherhood gig is hard work - it can bring you to the very limits of your sanity and exhaust you in ways I could never have imagined before I had these two crazy boys.

The 8 years that I waited before having children, I used to roll my eyes and want to throat punch mother's who complained about their kids. Thinking how I'd give up so much to be in their shoes... and I am... sometimes I wonder if I'm grateful enough. Other times, I know that I am overjoyed to be a mother - even while being completely exhausted and out of my mind with toddler irrationality.

In spite of all the crazy antics that we go through on a daily basis - I hope that I never have to go through something like this poor family is going through right now. I pray that God hold them and give them the necessary grace to heal... the peace to be able to try to keep moving through their daily lives... and the earthly support that they will need for a long time to come.

Remembering 9/11

Last night, we started watching the coverage on National Geographic about the events and perspectives of September 11, 2001. It's so hard to believe that the 10th anniversary of these attacks is coming up in a couple of weeks - when I can remember it just like it was yesterday.

I can tell you exactly where I was that morning, what I was doing when I heard... and the details of not being able to locate John because he was in a conference for work. I remember the days and weeks after the attacks - the emotions, the stories, the interviews, the magazines, the television, the patriotism, the heroism, the heart-break.

We watched the first episode of the series last night, and both John and I were amazed at how we were instantly taken back to those moments both in reality and emotion. It's crazy how much comes up that you don't expect. I got the same chills, nausea, and tears stinging my eyes that I did on the days that it was unfolding.

At the end of this particular episode - they mentioned Pearl Harbor. And suddenly it all connected for me. When people talk about Pearl Harbor around me (which I don't think has ever happened, but go with it) it really means nothing - it's just a date in history. A movie. A sad story that generations before me experienced.

Friends, September 11th is our Pearl Harbor. Our children will never understand what it was like to live through those days. They won't know what it felt like to watch it unfold on live television - watching the plane fly into the building... watching the towers crash to the ground... watching the aftermath. It will just be a date they have to remember for their history classes - but for us, it's a day that will live in our hearts and memories forever.

I shutter to think that September 11th was greater in magnitude and impact than Pearl Harbor was - for the speed of information involved and I think the size and complexity of the attack itself was on a larger scale. The feelings though of our country being under attack rings the same in both situations...

I am scared to think of what event might happen in the future that would become the infamous day that will define their generation. I would hope that they don't have one, but evil lives in this world... and it's unlikely that something large won't happen again. I hope and pray that it doesn't. I pray that for my children. I pray that for all of our children.

No Excuses Accepted

I'm sure many of you have seen the articles coming out in the news about the toddlers that were served alcohol instead of the juice their parents ordered at two popular restaurants lately. One toddler served a margarita at an Applebees and another served sangria at an Olive Garden.

I find these stories to be completely unbelievable for a huge number of reasons. I guess for starters - are the employees not paying attention enough to think twice before putting completely unrelated items into a freaking kids cup?! I believe in the case at the Applebees - they ordered apple juice... does a margarita look ANYTHING like apple juice to you? I'm thinking not. Not to mention that typically restaurants have margarita machines. In the second cause, I believe orange juice was ordered - and I don't know about what sangria you've had... but I've never seen on that was completely orange.

I don't see why kids drinks are coming out of the bar in the first place - it would make so much more sense to me to keep the drinks for children back near the cokes and iced tea... I mean MY drink doesn't come from the bar... why should my child's?

Honestly, though - I can't get over the fact that they put either of those items in a KIDS cup... where in the world would that be common practice? Two children were beyond the legal adult limit for alcohol in their system, and one of them could have died. How is this even possible?

As parents, we have to protect our children because no one else will... these stories make that all the much more apparent to me. You'd think that you could go out to get a meal as a family and not have to double and triple check everything - but I for one will not ever give my kids a drink without tasting it first.

What happened to the days when you truly could udder the words "it takes a village" and know that really was true? People are so careless that even our children can't let their guards down - and that's just sad to me.

Way To Go Texas

I don't know how many of you follow the news... but a local story for Houston has hit the national airways because of the absurdity of what happened. Last week, a major fire broke out at an at-home day care center that was caring for 7 children between the ages of 18 months to 3 years. Four of those children perished in the fire... which is tragic enough... but it gets worse.

As the story and investigation developed, we learned that the 22 year old lady running the day care center actually left those children alone to go to the grocery store... and at that she left them alone with a pot of oil heating on an electric stove! She returned home to find the house on fire, and then asked the neighbors for help.

Today the news broke that they would be filing charges against her for this, and at the close of the business day - it was reported that this woman has fled the country to Nigeria.

There is so much wrong with this story - and as a mother who leaves her children in the care of an at-home day care... I feel the need to put my opinion out there in the interwebs.

I can't imagine what the parents of the babies that were lost are going through - I mean you leave your most precious gift in the care of someone that you trust to look after them while you are at work... and the most unthinkable thing happens.

1) I'm not 100% sure that a 22 year old is mature enough to take care of 7 toddlers on their own... heck - I'm not even sure that I'm mature enough!

2) Really, in what crazy world does a person think it's okay to leave a child in a home alone?! Much less 7 of them! I mean I barely even feel comfortable taking a shower while my kids are awake... for the fear that something will happen to them!

3) So, idiot lady... you leave the kids home alone... but what in the heck were you thinking leaving oil (or anything else for that matter) cooking on the stove unsupervised while you left to go to the store!? I mean really, were you that hungry for something fried?

4) And to the State of Texas and the City of Houston... are you freaking kidding me?! You let the news break that this chick was going to be facing charges... and you didn't have her in custody already?! What did you think she was going to do? She's 22, and dumb enough to set these circumstances in motion... like a friend of mine said - I can't wait to see how the mayor explains this one away.

5) To the FAA... so, for me to get on a flight to anywhere outside of Houston - I have to go through a body scan and all sorts of other humiliating forms of security... but you can't prevent someone that is about to be charged with any sorts of crimes from skipping the country?!

Anyone else feel like beating your head against a brick wall at the colossal failure on so many levels? I'm heart broken for the families of the babies that were lost, and the three that still remain in the hospital tonight... I pray that no more babies lose their lives over this. I also pray that this woman pays a hefty penalty both on Earth and in the next life...

I'd be remiss if I didn't admit that even though I trust my babysitter completely - it was hard for me to leave my boys with her the last couple of days while this story gets more and more horrific. I know that she'd NEVER do something like that - but how can you truly protect your children if you're not the one caring for them? It's hard, being a parent today... on many different levels. It's a good thing that I know our Ms. Amanda better than these parents probably knew their baby sitter... and I know that she loves my boys very much.

Outraged

Have any of you read in the news in the last day or two about the thousands of military documents leaked out to the public?

I'm sorry - I try to keep my political views and things like that off of this here 'lil blog... but on this one - I've just GOT to say something. I mean honestly! I think in recent years we've taken the whole "freedom of speech" and "freedom of the press" thing a bit too far... and when innocent lives are at stake in the process - these people should be ashamed of themselves.

If you haven't heard - a website called WikiLeaks.org has now published several thousand documents from the current war - outlining everything from military strategy to naming actual individuals over in Pakistan and Afghanistan that have helped the US in the war effort. Do these people not think for a second that they've put those individuals in harm's way by publishing their name for the entire world to see?! I mean the radicals that can get a hold of these documents will surely torture these people for helping the US.

I might be wrong in this - but I just don't think that every Tom, Dick, or Harry needs to read this level of detail... and ESPECIALLY not our enemies... I mean what do you think the North Koreans are doing with this information?! If you answered, probably mounting a good counter strategy against us should anything escalate into a confrontation - you'd probably be right!

Sometimes - things are just better left unknown. I mean it's not like even within your own jobs... that you know EVERYTHING about every decision... that is why there are people promoted to positions to make choices. I don't need to know all the ins and outs of why each decision is made - just tell me the relevant facts that I need to keep doing my part.

Isn't that why we elect people in the first place? So that they can govern on behalf of the people... that's what it's supposed to be about. Now, with that said - do I think everyone in Washington is doing a good job at that - absolutely not - BUT that is why it is so critically important that we hold them accountable with our votes. Should we read every document that they talk about in order to make those decisions - every email they send... of course not! If we did... we might as well be governing ourselves... by committee.

Have any of you worked on a committee lately? Pretty ineffective if you ask me... even more ineffective than our current government.

The whole thing just blows my mind, and the irresponsibility of it all is even worse. These folks did a horrible thing in my opinion, and hiding behind a loophole in a law is just not right. I say - you apologize and take the information down... even though at this point - anyone that has a slight beef with the US has been empowered beyond anything we could ever imagine.

It's called being a good citizen - and putting the lives of our fellow Americans, military employees, and even citizens of other nations in danger - is just deplorable!

Alright - end rant.