Wednesday, January 23, 2008

No more whining

Ok, I promise I'll stop talking about work... but it is therapeutic to get it out in the open - to some degree.

I found myself today wishing that I could drown my problems with something edible... and of course I can't do that anymore... so I was at a loss for a stress reliever. They tell you when you have this surgery that your relationship with food will change - sort of like "murdering your best friend." Well, I missed that best friend today... not because of hunger - still not feeling that - but just for the shear emotional need to put something self-destructive in my mouth. I'm pretty proud of myself because I was able to resist for the most part - I did break down and eat one small little mini-peanut butter cup... somehow I didn't end up with the "dumping" syndrome that most gastric by-pass patients end up with... which is good and bad. It's great because I don't ever have those crazy symptoms, but bad because I don't scare myself away from the bad foods by the symptoms. I just have to practice self control... and I am doing well at that.

I've got to figure out a way to snap out of this - I wonder if it's just the gloomy weather and lack of sunshine... but something has definently got me in a funk. Part of it is not feeling great, but part of it is emotional too... but I'm not good at articulating those things.

Maybe it is all of that, plus the fact that I added the certification test onto the rest of my worries... I am such a "nervous nelly" when it comes to big tests, and especially ones that have a very huge role to play in my personal future. It always seems to go well, but I certainly am relieved when they are over!

All of this, and I really do have to say that I'm doing alright over all - but I needed a place to vent, and what better place than your own blog - where you control the content! HA - that comment reminds me of my sister, Cindy's rehersal dinner for her wedding... my brother-in-law, Robert was paying for it, and his speech that night was really long... and at one point he said "I'm paying - so I'm going to say everything I want to" or something to that effect. So funny!!
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