Wintertime Beauty

Some of you likely live in much colder areas and see these things all the time. For me, growing up in TX... it just doesn't happen often at all. The last time I experienced anything like ice I saw yesterday/today was in 1997!

It's really pretty to see, especially if you don't have to get out and deal with it -- which today we did need to get out, but other than turning my car on for a good while before leaving - it wasn't a big deal - the roads were clear by the time we needed to head to the pediatrician at 9:30.

Anyway, I took some pretty decent pictures - and really it's not that much ice... but for a Texas girl -- it sure was fun to see! I just pray that we'll get at least 1 good snow so that we can take the boys out to experience it before we move back home.

 

This was from inside the car this morning -- I turned it on to start warming up about 30 minutes before we got in, and I even had to crack the doors open to get inside to get it started up.

I know that I'm weird, but I just love cold weather. I'd much prefer being cold over being hot -- I can layer up in the cold, but there is only so naked you can get... and typically people prefer you to be clothed in public which is problematic. <totally joking>

Unfocused

Lately, I have been living in quite a fog. To say that there have been highs and lows - would be an understatement. I've fallen prey to just about every trick in the book that has been thrown at me, and I am tired of letting it get the best of me.

No matter what it is: family, health, weight, children, friends, animals, temperature, geography... it has gotten to me at one point or another during the last few months.

I certainly am my own worst critic and even enemy at times. I often find myself wondering where things have gone wrong. Things sort of derailed shortly after the boys were born, and I don't feel like I've truly ever gotten control on life with kids.

Who knows what life would have been if we hadn't needed to move to Memphis. Would we have gotten back into a groove, and settled back in with our church family? Would things have settled back down, and my friendships gone back to flourishing in the way that they once were? Would we have the family help and support that we desperately need?

There isn't really any way to tell -- and ultimately the reality is that we are in Memphis today, and are trying to find the right balance to get through each day. It is difficult for me - most days I feel like I've failed at everything because I'm so stressed out... and I'm sure that it's not a fair assessment because in my mind things aren't perfect unless my kids are quiet & happy, my house is clean, dinner is ready when John gets home, and we are relaxed and happy.

The true picture of the day is that I've yelled far too many times, the house is a wreck, dinner isn't ready until almost 8 PM (the boys eat at 5PM), and I can barely speak by the time the kids are in bed for the night. Which means that I'm in bed myself trying to recover by 9... and that's only because I force myself to stay out of bed until 9.

I feel a lot of the time like a couple of critical elements are missing from my life - friends & family. I miss my people like crazy -- and miss having a best friend to hang out with and share in the craziness of having these nutty kids with. I've got three ladies that I shared so much life with back home, and I miss them more than I could ever explain. They know me almost better than I know myself, and I just haven't found anyone here that fits that bill. I have met some wonderful ladies, but I still just feel like an outsider most days.

I may be reading too much into it, but something just doesn't feel right -- and I certainly don't know how to fix it or to make myself loosen up enough to reevaluate my lot in life. Same thing goes with the husband too - a lot of days I feel disconnected because we don't really have a good babysitting option. My friends here all have their own kids and families, and I'm just not comfortable with leaving the boys with someone I don't know yet -- mainly because people are crazy and abuse kids... and while mine can't talk - I'm not cool with leaving them with someone I don't know extremely well.

I feel like we'd be much more apt to have a date night if we had our family close by -- because I certainly could trust our parents, our sisters, our friends, or our older nieces to watch the boys if we needed them to.

Being sick lately certainly doesn't help with all of these feelings -- because the longer I am sick -- the more bored and disconnected I feel from the world around me. Thank God for social media -- because I'd be postal by now with as little connection with the world as I've had lately.

I guess the holidays make these feelings come to the surface even more because it's just a tough time to juggle all the things you wish you could be doing... like shopping with friends, meeting our niece on the day she is born, and so many other things.

I wish I could just snap out of it, and hopefully I can do that with a little bit of holiday retail therapy while the boys are in school tomorrow. I'm hitting Hobby Lobby to try to cheer myself up with a few items to spruce up the house. Hopefully it works to bring a smile to my face. 

Whoa Baby!

Got your attention with that title, didn't I? I can't help it - I'm more than a little excited about the deal I just got on Groupon. I wish I could have gotten more!

The deal for the day in Memphis was a $60 - 1 hour massage... down the street from my house for $29! Since it was my first purchase since signing up - I actually only paid $9! What, What? Can I get a shout out?!

$60 for a massage is actually fairly reasonable too - so the full price could be an option for gifts (Anniversary, Mother's Day, Birthday... whatever, yo) if I like the place and enjoy the massage.

I felt that I had to share this information with you, just on the off chance that you are missing out on the great offers in your own city. They've got Groupon sites for tons of locations - so you should click this Groupon link to find out if you're missing out!

Back later with more family photos and all that fun stuff.

Tales from the Road

Traveling 10-11 hours with two toddlers is certainly an endeavor for the strong - because it'll kill you if you let it!

This was our 4th road trip since we've moved, and it certainly was better than any of the rest in a lot of ways. James was much better about it - just watched his movies and as long as his meals weren't delayed... we just kept on trucking. Tyler on the other hand was still a bit fussy about being stuck in his seat for so long.

We kept them fed while moving - thanks to Chick-fil-a, McDonalds, and Subway. One of us sits in the back with the boys so that we can feed them their meals as well as monitor bottles and juice consumption. Otherwise they'll throw things and not be able to reach it - which would mean a stop to retrieve the item that was thrown in the first place.

Other stops - which this trip coincided with meal or gas stops - include diaper changes. Our car has always been incredibly packed - so there isn't really space to change them... what do inventive parents do in that situation to avoid gas station bathrooms with babies? We change them in the driver's seat. Oh yes, they are getting too tall for this... but Momma will teach them to do a standing diaper change when needed. We will also carry a portable potty with us when they get old enough to be potty training - so that we can stop when needed, but don't have to expose them to the yuck that you can find out there traveling.

Speaking of this - funniest moment of the trip came close to the end on the way down to TX. We were about 45 minutes from my inlaw's house when James started trying to poop. (sorry for the TMI) I can't imagine trying to do that in a car seat that provides a lot of resistance... but there he was, my poor little dude with some constipation issues to begin with. I could tell he was trying, and he started to cry. He eventually started to panic - so we had to pull over immediately.  The only thing was we were on a BUSY major interstate freeway in Texas... so we pulled off the road and grabbed him out of his seat. He finished his business, we got him changed... then we had to put it in 4 wheel drive to get back on the freeway.

I think that might be one of those classic memories that will haunt James for years to come - because his Daddy is still bringing it up and laughing about it. Poor baby!

Houston vs Memphis

Some of you have asked (a while back... but whatever) how I like living in the Memphis area. I can say with certainty that it is different... with both good and bad aspects. I'm not sure that it'll ever be "home" - but it is where we're hanging our hats these days.

The pace is absolutely slower here - in every sense of the expression. No one is in a hurry to do anything here. I'm used to the fast paced big city - I mean Houston is the 4th largest city in the country - so you drive fast, talk fast, hurry through everything, and juggle 50 things at a time. Here, everyone is really laid back and it can be frustrating when you're trying to get something done. It's the most frustrating when you're trying to get something important completed... like say the 2 hours it took to get my kids their well child visits yesterday.

The technology is a bit behind in a lot of ways too. Which is kind of cool and surreal at the same time. I told a friend recently that it's sort of like stepping back 20 years or so in time. True story. In Houston, I'm thinking they've had the emission filters on the gas pumps for at least 15 years or so... and here - they don't have them. Granted, I've only really gotten gas once or twice... and it's been at the Kroger store near my house... so it might be an isolated incident, but in TX it's a huge deal.

Memphis isn't quick to update things either - meaning that our Sonic stores here have the same signs that they've probably always had. I guess in Houston the vogue thing to do is to always have the latest and greatest... update and upgrade are the words of the day there. Here it's quieter and slower to move to the newer technologies and remodels. It's sort of quaint in a way for staying true to the original - I just think that it's a little surprising to me that it's the big national chains too.

My life here is different than it was in Houston. I mostly worked downtown and had a good hour long commute everyday. Today, I rarely leave the area within a 10-15 minute radius of my house. Seriously, between my house and the freeway is about the extent of my travels. The farthest I've driven since I've been here has been to the church where our MOPS group meets. Which is about 18 miles from the house. I will make that drive every other Wednesday - which is funny to me when I used to drive 25 miles to work one way every single day. It's great though that I have a HUGE Expedition - and I haven't filled it up in a month! True story.

It may be a LOT slower... but I think it's a great place to have these boys. Everyone here is charmed by them... and they interact with these sweet southern voices very well. I think the slower pace will help me be able to keep up with life while taking care of them.

For me the funniest part of this whole deal is that I moved 10 hours north... and I NOW live in the south. HA!

Arriving in Memphis

Don't forget to enter the Fruit Infusion Giveaway before Monday!!

Before we left for the big move, we spent a few days at my Dad's while we waited for our furniture to be delivered. James had a blast - all the neighbor kids played with him, he got to swim, and explore all sorts of new stuff.

James dearly loves playing with his boat. He's so cute - he'll sit in it, drink his milk in it, climb in, climb out... it's loads of fun!

I helped my little sister Gabby make popcorn cupcakes with her friend Remy. I think the cupcakes turned out cute, but I'd amp up the yellow part of the kernel if I ever did it again.

Tyler had a good time too - lots of little girls that gave him tons of attention... and of course toys... what's not to love?

 After a few days at "camp" - we hopped on a plane and headed to Memphis. Here are some pictures John got of our arrival.

My two older sisters, and stepmom came to help with the babies on the plane and the unpacking. Those three ladies practically unpacked the entire house in two days AND painted my bedroom. Lifesavers, I tell ya. We couldn't have made it without them. 

We were instructed by the movers to pack all the paper into the wardrobe boxes, and once we were completely done with the boxes - they'll come out one time to pick it all up. I think we're getting close to calling them... but I had to take this picture - she's holding on to the top of a door frame... hilarious! 

Tyler hanging out at the new pad... little stinker now army crawls all over the place. He doesn't seem to want to use his knees yet, but he's definitely mobile.


For a little treat, we went out on Saturday in between our two coats of paint in the bedroom and checked out Neeley's BBQ. If you watch the Food Network, you'll know who they are. The food was good, the restaurant was hot... but it was the original location - so there's hope that the other two locations aren't as temperature challenged. James enjoyed some serious mac & cheese... it was fabulous!

To round out our first weekend in Memphis - we toured the downtown area and drive by Graceland... I think everyone is excited to come back and visit to hit the sites.

More to come soon!

Is anyone out there?

Did I lose all two of you that were reading during this extended moving madness? No excitement for the upcoming giveaways?

I'm trying so hard to get settled around here, but just don't seem to be making any traction on this project. My body is working against me, and when it chills out - the kiddos are awake. HA! Seriously though, I've had a headache for about 5 days now... it gets better and worse at different times, but it's always there in one form or another.

It's funny - I had a friend in high school that could deal with any illness that came along without any problems unless it was a tummy ache. If her stomach hurt - the whole world stopped. I'm sort of like that with my head. I've had so many stomach issues through the years that I can just roll with those... but when my head is hurting - I really just want to curl up in a ball and lay in a dark place until it stops. Try explaining that to a 14 month old and an 8 month old. They don't care so much - they've got needs, right?

This week, we've moved Tyler up to a room all his own to try to work on his sleeping habits in the hope that the boys can bunk up together sometime soon. He's doing much better - but it's still a struggle. I'm having to let him cry to try to get him used to a similar sleep/nap schedule as James. He's doing a bit better, but it's still a work in progress. I've also been working on getting them fed at the same time. Everyone gets in their highchair at the same time, and for the most part - James must be fed first... Tyler is the more patient of the two... but it's working fairly well. I like for them to be on the same schedule as much as possible so that I can get a few things done (or rest) during nap times.

Speaking of Mr. T... my little budding crawler is ready to get up from his nap - so I'd better cut this off and go make a bottle. Sounds like a little cuddling is in my future until James wakes up.

Tell me, what have been the best tips for you in terms of getting housework done while juggling kids, a job, or whatever else keeps everyone so busy these days?

Made It

We arrived in Memphis last Thursday and things have been nuts ever since. We are almost out of boxes - things aren't quite organized yet, but I'm doing everything I can to get us there. It's slow going with the two monkeys demanding that their needs be met - but eventually it'll happen, right?

Our internet service has been extremely spotty - so I haven't been able to get on the computer much. Which is frustrating, but hopefully in another day or so I will be able to upload some photos for you guys. None of the new pad just yet - because it's not ready for public viewing.

I can tell you that we've also gotten our bedroom painted - it's no longer the "angry red" color it was when we bought it... but now a warm soothing sage green. It looks much different now, but I love it!

The boys went to their first day of Mother's Day Out on Monday, and seemed to enjoy it. They are in the same class this summer. There were no tears when I left them, and they seemed happy when I picked them up... so I think we're in good shape there. They'll be in different classes this fall, but I'm grateful that the director decided to keep them together with the move and all the changes that have come within the last month.

While the boys were at school - I did a little shopping and exploring. There is so much to go see and explore around here. I've basically got all the important shopping locations right here within ten minutes of the house. A quaint little old town area down around the church where the boys go to school... and everything in between.

I just wanted to check in and let you know that we're here and working on getting our lives back in order. Hang in there with me, and I've got several awesome product reviews with giveaways coming up to help you enjoy your summer!

It's Never Easy To Say Goodbye

Yesterday, we said goodbye to John's Aunt in a beautiful service. There were people there that had known Aunt Aster sice the 3rd grade... namely, my father-in-law. He stood up to speak at the wake service the night before, and talked so lovingly about the woman he had known for 62 years or more. Which got me to thinking how many of us in our generation will have anything similar to that when our time comes?

I know - I won't. I don't know anyone from my elementary school days... not many from my junior high school days... and just a few gems from high school and college. Most of my quality friends have come into my life via adulthood.

Which I think is just a little bit sad. Now, those friends are no less cherished - but it would have been nice to have been settled enough at a young age to have grown up with the same group of people and built those bonds.

I think that it's possibly hitting me in a different way this time around because the funeral came less than 48 hours from the time that the boys and I will leave the only place I've ever called home to head off on our new adventure in Tennessee.

I want a childhood for my boys that allows them to have lifelong friendships. I want them to have people that have known them from a young age and grow up to be the people that will help them become the Godly men, husbands, fathers, and sons that I know they will be.

John and I have talked about it several times that we want to bring the boys back home by the time they start school... and Lord knows we don't want to move much more than we have to... this has been a NIGHTMARE! So our focus when we move home will be to find a house, neighborhood, and schools that we can stay in for the rest of our time here on this earth.

John had that in his life growing up - his parents have lived in the same house since before he started school... it's so cool to hear the stories, and be standing in the very place that they happened... I pray that we can give that to our boys... and that when they are in their late 30's - having children of their own - that we can stand around our kitchen or living room and laugh about all the antics that happened in that very room... to pass down the legacy to our grandchildren.

I often find myself in a position to be wishing that things were simpler... to go back to a time that has long past. A time when children didn't have to grow up so fast, and that community was alive and well... where the village helped raise the children. I think our generation can bridge that gap between technology and bringing a stronger focus on family and community.

What do you think?

Redefining the Funny Farm

I've had every intention of blogging for a few days now, but literally - for the last 8 days - I've been living in some sort of alternate universe. Would you like a run down of what that looks like? Ok, indulge me for a minute.
Saturday, May 28th: I went out with a few of my best gals here in Texas for the last time... Renee, Danielle & Jillian... I will TRULY miss these ladies so much... but on the upside - they are also the most likely to come visit us in TX. Anyway - we went to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner and dessert. When I left that night I knew my dog, Maggie wasn't feeling well. She'd been sick for a couple of days, but she typically bounces back fairly quickly... this time though - it just kept getting worse. So when I got home, I knew it wasn't an illness she was going to come back from. I made the decision at 10:30 that night that we had to take her and put her to sleep. I'd lived with Maggie since she was 6 weeks old, and we had a great 13 years together. She stuck with me through some hard times and some great times... and just had the sweetest soul. I will miss her terribly, but I'm glad that she's not suffering anymore.

Sunday, May 29th: We had friends over to help us clean out our fridge. We grilled a bunch of meat and did some sort of Iron Chef/Chopped episode with a few items in the pantry. It turned out great, and gave us some time with a few more friends and some family.

Monday, May 30th: Was spent packing our travel bags, going through some last minute odds and ends... and just preparing for the move.

Tuesday, May 31st: The movers were supposed to come between 8 and 10... but then called to say they'd be there at 3... and then we didn't hear back from them again until after 5 when they told us they were still in Baton Rouge, LA... and certainly wouldn't make it to our house that day. So we gave up on them, met with the Realtors and called it a night.

Wednesday, June 1st: Finally, the movers showed up... although they were still an hour and a half later than they were expected. They had us packed up and ready to load the truck by 3PM... at midnight, we decided to stop and continue on the next day. John's Aunt passed away as well, after a courageous battle with cancer. She was such a wonderful woman, and will be deeply missed by all of us that had the pleasure of knowing her during her 72 years of life.

Thursday, June 2nd: The movers came back at 11AM... and it literally took them until 8PM to get finished. Craziness since they scheduled us for packing and loading the truck all in one day - and then it took them a full 2 days to get it done. UGH!

Friday, June 3rd: I met the cleaning crew over at the house, returned the cable boxes, and saw my friend Renee for one last quick visit. The left Cypress, Texas for the last time as a resident. It was certainly bittersweet to leave... not only the area that I loved living in, the friends, but also the home that we brought our boys home to. Saying goodbye to the room that we so lovingly made for them was certainly difficult, and literally brought both John and I to our knees.

John left for Memphis on Friday afternoon to get a few things done, only to return again for the funeral before we actually meet the movers again.

Saturday, June 4th - Sunday, June 5th: We've been hanging out playing and enjoying our last few days in Texas. The boys have adjusted amazingly well - much better than I would have expected... and I'm so grateful for that.

Today, we're getting ready for the beginings of Aunt Aster's funeral tonight - the boys will stay here with family and get some rest. Then tomorrow all four of us will go to the actual funeral, burial, and family reception... then John will drive us back to my Dad's and immediately head out with our dog, Missy, to Memphis. The movers are supposed to arrive on Wednesday to deliver all of our goods... and then the boys and I fly out on Thursday to start our new lives in Tennessee.

It's taking a lot of Starbucks... but I'm hanging in there alright. Can't wait to share pictures and things on the flip side.

Bought and Ready

Last week, I went to Memphis to choose our new home. I bit the bullet and left the boys here with family, and took two nights alone with John. It was the first time we had truly left the boys for anything more than work or one company Christmas party... so it was a nice treat to just hang out with my husband for a couple of days. Of course by Friday - I was ready to see my little men again... and naturally our flight was delayed by an hour and a half coming home.

I think I looked at about 7 different homes, and had it down to three that were acceptable... but of course had two that really were my favorites. Both for totally different reasons. One had an AMAZING pool, but needed quite a bit of updating that we'd have to fit into our budget and time restrictions with two toddlers. The other was really nice on the inside - move in ready - but didn't have the pool. Ultimately, we chose the one without the pool - with the hope that we can put in a pool next spring/summer if we choose to do that. I think that would be a nice addition for the kids... and we probably could make it prettier doing it to our tastes. Strange thing is that Memphis doesn't really do anything like a community pool - so we won't have access to one unless we come home or put one in.

Anyway - here are some photos of our new house! We will close on it May 25th and will be moving on May 31st. Nothing like quick turn around, right?! Oiy!

I will of course take more pictures once we get settled - there is a total of 4 bedrooms - but only two are pictured... and 3 1/2 bathrooms as well... so look for more photos to come!

Walking in Memphis

If you haven't entered my Lovey Dovey Giveaway... shake your tail feathers and get entered!!

Before we get into the reason I named the post as I did... I had to show you my two newest favorite photos on the planet...

James playing in his crib... this is a prime example of him spitting a pacifier and grabbing a new fresh one!

Tyler (aka Tiner) sitting in Daddy's recliner... looking A LOT like my Dad!

Alright... so shall we get to the purpose of the post? Well... The Hawkins family is moving to Memphis, TN!! Why you might ask... well John got a promotion!! YAY! We are thrilled that he's finally getting the recognition that he deserves, and the chance to stretch his legs managing a team of folks. 

We are both excited and sad to be embarking on this opportunity. On one hand - it's a GREAT opportunity professionally... AND I'll likely get to stay home with the boys... at the most I'd need to work part-time - hence the Stella & Dot thing. (Help a girl out, yo!) On the other hand, however... we're leaving our families... some of which just moved back after being away for 12 years (my Dad)... leaving all of our friends and our church family. So our support system will be 10 hours away... which is scary and sad. We will get through it - somehow - likely stronger and for the better.

Our new home will allow us to take a gander at some of these things... 

a gorgeous bridge...

Memphis in May BBQ Festival! (John is thrilled!)

Graceland

The Peabody Ducks... have you heard of them? So cute! 

They are these ducks that live during the day in the fountain located in the hotel lobby...and at various times - they bring out a red carpet... march them into the elevator and take them to the "penthouse" (aka the roof) where the live the rest of the time. HOW FUN! I can't wait to take the boys! 

A cool looking pyramid... which I think is a museum or something

 The skyline

 Beale Street

River Boats!

Also not pictured:

A fabulous zoo

and a great looking Children's Museum

So anyway - for the next several months... things are going to be crazy because it's a series of being a single parent... and not. Sort of a BIG lesson in "going with the flow", but we'll get through it and be on a big adventure for a couple of years. 

This just means that I might have some pretty funny stories coming because with my days being sooo long and full... I'm sure I'll do some crazy things. So stay tuned!