Well, I'm a bit late... but it's 2019!

I've learned a few things in the short time that it's been 2019, and I thought I'd start off a series of upcoming posts with that. What I've learned is that in years past - I've set goals and I've given resolutions of things like I'm going to lose 25 pounds... only to quickly fail. That gave way to me only setting resolutions of things like lose weight... with no set amount, because in my mind... even one pound gone in the year would be a success, right?

Well, none of it has been successful, and I found myself at the end of 2018 feeling pretty defeated. I thought that I was just destined to be heavy and on tons of diabetes meds for the rest of my life. Nothing could or would ever change for the better... Then I heard one of the most profound podcast episodes I've ever heard.

It was a couple of days in the new year and I was catching up on getting my Powersheets set up for the year, and determining what my goals would be and I heard something that I will never EVER forget... Two things actually: 1) There is nothing magical about January 1st. There is nothing special about January 1st other than the fact that for the next month or two you'll be writing the wrong year on everything... or maybe it's just me? 2) The reason that resolutions fail by and large is that there is no heart reason behind them. They are just shots in the dark at things that we feel like we need to improve.

That's when it clicked for me. Will I be perfect in this pursuit? Of course not, but what I can do is embrace the progress that is being made and know that things are better than not trying at all. How does that look different in real life?

It looks like choosing goals that are tied to reasons, real tangible reasons... for instance - with my weight loss goal - why do I want to do it in the first place? There are a few reasons there actually:

• to feel better and not have creaky joints
• to get off of all of my medications
• to have more energy for my family
• to be ALIVE longer for my family

Let's be real honest here - since few people read this anyway -- there is safety in putting it out there, but I was on a path to certain earlier death until I changed things. Granted I have only changed things in the last two weeks... but I'm headed in a better direction than the alternative. With my weight and my diabetes working together - it was almost a guaranteed certainty that I wouldn't make it until a natural old age. How can I look into the eyes of my family and not know to the depths of my soul that I need to do better for THEM? Take me out of the picture... but how can I not get control over this issue so that I can be there for many more years to come? 

I know that there will be struggles, but one thing I also know is that I love these people in my life fiercely -- both those that live within my home and those family and friends that I interact with on a regular basis... I happen to be someone that loves BIG often at the detriment of my own health because I also tend to be a people pleaser. Maybe of my goals, this year are all wrapped in on this topic. 

I'm one of those people that comes up with a word for the year, and each of my 7 goals for 2019 is tied to this word. My word for this year is Intentional. (I'd love to have a ring with that word stamped on it or even a bracelet -- I'll have to look for one)

Here are my 7 goals... 

1. Spend intentional time with God either through devotionals or Write the Word Journals
2. Intentional time with people that matter - John, the boys, friends, family
3. Intentionally improve health through diet, increased water, intermittent fasting, and exercise
4. Focus intentionally on our budget and debt snowball
5. Be intentional with my daily reading for enjoyment both nonfiction and fiction
6. Intentionally create a second book for publishing
7. Intentionally spend time on homemaking through decluttering and cleaning routines

Will these all happen perfectly - probably not, and some of them will take a backseat at times for the others -- but what I do know is that 2 weeks in -- I'm feeling better than I ever have and I'm showing no signs of stopping. Something has snapped in me this year and I feel so much more grounded in knowing that there will be bad days and there will be good days -- but showing up for myself will never EVER be a disappointment to those that matter. 

What Are We Doing?

I'm going to start by saying that I realize that people won't agree with me and, that's okay. Just please be respectful of all points of view.

Here I sit on the 17th anniversary of September 11th, and I wonder often... how did we get here? In so many ways we've gone backward on the unity of that time. I remember the incredible resilience and pride that you could visibly see for days, weeks, and months after that horrible day. So how is it that we got to this place in 2018?

What place, you might ask? The place where we are so divided on EVERYTHING. Is it the social media factor? I don't know... is it the keyboard warrior mentality? Maybe. Is it the complete lack of even attempting to see things from the other side? More on point.

I remember the days when we could freely be different - and that was okay. I mean, some of my dearest friends spend a lot of their time doing things that I don't agree with politically, but I respect their right to do that. We're even so aware of it that it's a joke now... she will call me out and say... I know you won't agree with this, Kim, but... You know what? It doesn't hurt me.

For me, I'm a firm believer in the "You Do You" way of life. If you want to do something, go all in. Many of my friends look completely different from me, and I think that is really cool... at least until my 8-year-olds ask them what a tattoo is... they were just curious why my friend drew on herself every day. HAHA Oh, kids. But, I digress.

More to the point - there are two things that I'm seeing lately and they just blow my mind.

One -- this whole Nike thing. Look, I stand for the anthem and for the flag. Last I checked, it's legal to burn that same flag... the fundamental difference for me is that you're not allowed to burn said flag at work... but that isn't the point either for this argument. Nike chose their spokesperson, and you don't agree with them. No problem. Burning shoes and clothing is a bit too far though. Donate them! There are plenty of people in your own backyard in need of those items and, they don't care what logo is on the item. If you want to boycott, fine... if you don't, fine. See, You Do You. It's okay to choose another brand to spend your dollars on, but it's also okay to continue wearing the items you already purchased. It's a commercial, and honestly... when was the last time you watched a commercial? I spend all of my time DVRing things or streaming them so that I DON'T have to watch them anymore.

Now for point 2 -- I've seen several articles, and I even believe there is a whole Facebook group devoted to this cause... but there is an uprising over the book Girl, Wash Your Face... such an uprise that when I posted about hosting a book club on the book - I got a message from a friend who I love and respect asking me to reconsider hosting or reading the book.

Her concern was that Rachel's theology wasn't sound, and she didn't want me to be swayed. Here is where I'm at with this. I love and respect this friend, but on this point and others, we don't agree. This can happen between people sitting next to you at church too. Fundamentally, those within the walls of your church will agree on salvation and that it comes from Jesus dying on the cross for our sins. From there, most of the rest is up to your interpretation... and how you read the Bible scriptures that day. Haven't you noticed that you can read a verse and it means one thing to you today... and if you read it again a couple years later - you might take something completely different way from the words.

This book is written by a woman that believes in Jesus. That's where her need for sound theology stops for this book because that isn't what the book is about. She is an imperfect Christian writing a book about things that she has believed in her life. I'm a Christian woman who has faced some of those same things in my life. So it resonates with me. It won't with everyone, I've seen some posts from people that just don't see what the hype is for... and that's okay too. It's not going to be for everyone, but that doesn't make her wrong.

I think the danger here comes when we put these expectations on Christians that everything they write, say, or do has to be theologically sound. We are sinners. We are broken people. There is only ONE perfect person, no one else will ever measure up to Him. Christians can write books that are not spiritually based... or at least I hope so.

I'm currently writing a book, and I would hope that people aren't looking for me to teach them anything beyond my words. My book is about our journey to parenthood, and it's about finding hope in God to endure the journey. I'm not trying to teach anyone how to apply it in their own lives, but sharing our story of hope and redemption for them to apply however they see fit. Not every book written by a Christian is meant to teach theology... there are plenty of them that are meant for that... Rachel's is not.

I pray for a day when life isn't this US or THEM mentality that we've got going right now because it's only serving to break us farther apart. If you don't agree with my points on these issues, that's perfectly okay because you haven't lived in my shoes... you've lived in yours, and you've got different filters. The fundamental difference is how you approach this information - do you attack first, or do you attempt to see it the way that I do - then disagree respectfully. That respectful disagreement and mutual respect is able to live and breathe again.

Minecraft Ghast Pinata

We chose this time to make a Ghast pinata, but you could easily make this as a TNT, Creeper, Enderman, or really anything Minecraft your child's heart desires. We got the idea from another blogger, but there are some design changes we would make when we do it again... which apparently will happen in April because James is determined to have everything Tyler did. (Don't worry friends that attended... there will be changes and some different ideas.)

Supplies Needed:
print out of the face of your pinata
1 (24pk) Pepsi or any other soft drink that has a square box
Candy and/or toys to fill the pinata
masking tape
scotch tape
glue stick
bottle of glue
wrapping paper in the color that matches your pinata (explained below)
crepe paper matching your pinata (explained below)
2 zip ties
rope

We started by letting Tyler fill the pinata with candy and little toys for all the kids. He was so funny making sure to fill it precisely in a specific pattern... even though when you move it, the candy and toys will shift and mix together.

Use masking tape and seal all the edges. We used a butter knife to split all of the seams gently so that we didn't disturb the cube shape. This is a 24 pack of Pepsi box that we used, but you could do this with any 24 pack that you can get. (I don't know if they make these shape packs for Coke.)

Wrap the box after you seal all of the seams with white wrapping paper, or use whatever you have that you can wrap the box with the design on the inside. You'll want the white on the outside so that it doesn't interfere with your design. If you do a different design - consider using the base color of your design for your wrapping paper... for instance, if you do a Creeper -- I'd do green paper; Enderman -- black paper; TNT -- red paper; and so on.

We made an excel template that had the face designs for all of our craft projects... (spoiler alert, I can email this to anyone that might be interested in making one of your own.) this template was very helpful. Glue the design onto the box with a glue stick. We put the extra gray pieces on the box but ended up covering most of them with the crepe paper.

We took the crepe paper and cut little frays into one side of the strips... for the texture. (if you look at the very bottom of the box you can see how it was cut so that you see the little fringe effect) We used a bottle of school glue and a brush to glue the top edge of each piece of crepe paper to the box. This takes a while, and we set it on another smaller box to be able to let it dry and get finished. 

Here it is all finished and drying for a bit -- we added the crepe paper to the sides and a sign to the back so that we didn't have quite as much to glue there. We found a Minecraft font and downloaded it to use for our sign, and we downloaded images from Google to use on the sign.

Here it is in action -- next time we make one of these -- we will cut some cardboard from an Amazon box or something to help strengthen the top where you attach the rope - so our plan is that we'd add a piece or two across the top inside of the Pepsi box just below the handle, secure it to the sides, and then attach the rope there because once you fill it with candy it's just a bit too heavy for the original handle to hold it up. We had 12 kids hit this thing, but with the first initial swing the handle gave way -- we were lucky it lasted through everyone getting one turn to hit it.

Back At It...

Hi, Everyone that is still around... all like maybe 3 of you.

Life is crazy, and I've been such a crazy perfection driven goal setter in my life... if you don't know what I'm talking about... do yourself a favor and order Jon Acuff's newest book, Finish, it'll explain everything. The basic idea though is that we all set goals, and have this vision of getting them done perfectly. When perfect doesn't happen, we quit. If this isn't me... I don't know what is! If you haven't read any of Jon's books - be prepared to get inspired, and laugh a LOT.

I have planned so many times to pick this whole blogging thing back up... and it hasn't gone perfectly, so I gave up on it. It's really sad too because I dearly love writing and the process of putting your thoughts down on "paper." 

The closer I get to 40, the more I'm thinking about the intentional things I do with my time. There are a LOT of things coming up in the next few months that I want to share with anyone that wants to read my words. 

I hope that you've had a great few months since my last round of posting, and I promise to be better. I am not going to commit to any specific timelines on posting, but I'm going to do my very best to be around as much or as often as I have something to share.

This past week, we've had my younger son, Tyler's, 7th birthday party. As with most kids in that age group right now - it was a Minecraft themed party... so I plan to share some of the DIY items that we put together for the celebration. We made a pinata, the cake, and some fun balloon decorations. We felt okay in taking them on because "how hard can a bunch of pixelated things be?" Oh my friends... famous last words.

We did manage to get it all done and a good time was had by all! I'll share about the party and a couple of the items we made tomorrow -- then more throughout this week. Next week, I want to tell you about a couple other things that are coming up quickly.

One other quick thing, OurPact, one of the apps that we use on a daily basis with our kids is increasing their prices very soon for their premium package - which is what we have. This app is good for both Apple Devices and Android... but their monthly cost will soon go from $4.99 to 6.99 for the premium service. If you sign up - you get locked in at the $4.99 price rather than the higher one. They also have free versions and lower plans as well that you can choose from.

**I am not getting any affiliate rewards or kickbacks for telling you about this - I just wanted to help save you some money if you're looking for a service like this. I've tried a few different ones, and this seems to be doing the trick for us.

We use it to have certain hours that our kids are allowed to use their iPads (they don't come on until 7AM, for instance), I can block certain apps, and you can give screen time allowances -- which we love. Here is a list of all the premium features:

• Individual App Control
• Screen Time Allowances• Child App Installs Display• iMessage/SMS Management• Family Locator• iOS Safe Browser• iOS App Scrambling Solution• Management of up to 20 child devices• Unlimited Manual blocks• Unlimited Automated Schedules

Clearing Your Head

Oh, this image both makes me laugh and internally cry at the same time -- because how many of us can relate to this are our reality? Replace a couple of those images with kids and a mop... some laundry... you feel me?

Which of those images gets the most of your time? Lately -- I feel like a good bit of it is stuff that doesn't matter... I was spending too much time clearing off my phone and too little time hanging with the people that matter.

What did I do? I started deleting apps off of my phone so that there were fewer distractions. I deleted all sorts of different things, but I also stopped mindlessly scrolling through Instagram, Pinterest, and Facebook. I still look at them and use them, but I don't spend the same amount of time on them these days. They just make me nuts these days anyway with their crazy, ever-changing algorithms that anyway -- so I just quit letting it take over.

I've replaced that with things I enjoy -- spending time watching a movie with the kids, writing on this blog, reading books about things that matter to me... that's how I'm spending my time these days.

It's time to let go of all the distractions and live differently. Just because the world is continuing to fill every second with noise and clutter -- replacing meaningful connection and stillness -- doesn't mean that YOU have to live that way. I'm learning this lesson repeatedly lately, and I don't think that's by accident.

Sometimes getting the same lesson over and over is because we aren't listening or open to receiving the message. If you're too busy -- maybe you just aren't hearing it. Maybe you're choosing to ignore it because you don't want to be different, I get that. Maybe you just don't want to change, but sometimes that brings on more hardships too -- so tread lightly there, friends.

I have avoided my fair share of life lessons at times, and others I have learned to lean into and embrace. One tried and true way to figure out what is going on and what needs to change is a major truth bomb that just exploded in my reality the other day. You ready for this one?

Sometimes the things you complain about can show you exactly where you need to change. For instance, if you are complaining about not having enough time -- maybe you're spending your time on the wrong things. Take the things you're complaining about and find a positive change that can help you move in a different direction. Those changes can be very small, but they can add up over time.

I'm thinking a lot about this these days -- and looking for those small things that I can change instead of complaining about where I am. I heard a quote the other day that was just so profound to me... let this sink in...

After winter always comes spring...

If this doesn't speak to so many trials in life -- I don't know what does. I feel like I've been walking around in a fog for a long time, but now I can see those little signs of life coming through the dirt lately. Now to nurture them so that they can grow into the prettiest flowers, the sweetest fruit, or the tallest trees. 

I'll leave you with this because who knew that a truth bomb like this was hidden in an 80s classic movie... 

Fruitful Friendships

I've been a mom now for 8 years roughly, and there is a distinct shift between the friends I had before children and those I've made after having them. Now, some of the shifts have come from moving to Memphis and back while the boys were babies... but follow me here. 
There is (or there was for me) an intense time after becoming a mother -- slightly more intense because of having two babies in the span of 6 months -- of isolation and loneliness. Couple that with my extreme shyness around new people, and you've got a cocktail for a bit of depression. Just before we moved to Memphis, my doctor put me on some medications for depression because he was noticing signs of it with having two babies in itself... but that's a story for a different day. 
Since that time, we've moved home... had a couple of brain surgeries that left 2014 pretty isolated for obvious reasons... we're now entering a time when I feel very centered and like I've found myself an amazing little group of friends. We are small in number, but mighty in heart and love. 
I've found 2 women that I literally feel like I can call in the middle of the night if needed... allow them in to see the chaos and mess of our home, and they will love me right through it. Bottom line, I can be my REAL self with them. Bad attitude, occasionally petty, ungrateful at times -- self. We are from very different backgrounds, different stages of parenting, some veered away for a bit, but we just fit. 
A few months ago, we came back together stronger than ever... the kind of friendship that doesn't skip a beat after not talking for a while. The kind that needs to be nurtured and grown -- because you cherish it as much as you do your family. These two women are my sisters in life -- every bit as important to me as the sisters I got from birth and marriage. 
I hope that I bless them as much as they bless me on a daily basis as we do life together -- often through text messages and field trips with the kids -- but I look forward to our mom's nights away every month. I mean seriously, can you imagine spending 5 hours in a Chili's chatting -- and not even feeling like it has been 30 minutes? Yep... that's us. 

I promise that my constant chatter about Lara Casey is coming to a close for a bit here. (click on the photos to be taken over to her shop) But I had to share about these amazing short books that she has created to help you cultivate a few specific areas of your life that are deeply important. 
This friendship book is larger than the other two and has some amazing ideas for growing Fruitful Friendships. It tells you what that looks like, and helps you plan action steps to help your friendships grow and flourish. This is what I aim to do this summer!
I emailed my two friends about this book -- and we're planning to go through it together over the next few weeks. Lara and another lady from her office, Jess, are going to lead us all through it on Wednesdays this summer page by page on their Facebook page... every week at noon Eastern time beginning on May 31st. 

This is the couples book -- which will help you set some goals for your marriage and work toward a better/deeper connection. 
This one for Parents can be worked on with your kids, or just with your spouse... but it's another way to set some intentional goals for building the relationships in your family. 
What I love about these books is that you get to make the goals fit your family, and Lara just helps you walk through figuring out what is most important to you in this season you are in... then set goals to build from where you are. I've got all 3 of them, and plan to make a point to do my best in these 3 areas this next year. In addition to one more area... which is caring for myself from the inside out... if I'm not running at my best health (both physically and spiritually), then I'm no good to these other areas of my life.
What tips and tricks do you have for bettering your friendships, marriage, parenting, and self-care?

Summer Reading List

To know me is to know that I love books... I come by it honestly because my Dad and his 3 brothers have entire rooms loaded with book shelves we are talking about floor to ceiling types of hoarding situations. I'm not at that level yet, but I did just take 6 boxes of books to Half Price Books yesterday to sell them... so maybe I'm closer than I think? (Don't answer that!)

I'm always reading on my Kindle App at night -- and I've worked my way through all of the Hannah Swensen murder mystery books, the Coffeehouse Mysteries books, and am now working my way through the White House Chef Mysteries. The fun part about all 3 of these series is that they have a food element to the stories, so there are also recipes included for the things that they talk about in the stories. I haven't made any of them yet, but a good friend of mine is making at least one recipe out of each book as she reads them.

My summer reading list includes these fiction titles, but several other things as well -- want to peek into my bag of books? (click on the photos to be taken directly to their listing on Amazon)


I'm on the book launch team for this book, and y'all it's amazing -- I'm 2 chapters in and it's literally life changing... seriously, you want to RUN over and preorder a copy of this book today! It comes out on June 27th, and truly -- you will not regret the life-affirming words on these pages. Here is the description from Amazon:

"Women often feel like they have to have it all together in order to live a meaningful life. Instead they feel inadequate, overwhelmed, and exhausted as they to figure out how to do it all. Author, business owner, and mom to three Lara Casey offers sound and grace-filled advice: “We can’t do it all, and do it well. But, we can choose to cultivate what matters.”

Welcome to the journey of getting messy in the rich soil of possibility—embracing imperfect, grace-filled progress to grow a life of joy.

Written as part encouragement anthem and part practical guide, Cultivate offers wisdom from God’s Word alongside lessons Lara has learned in her garden. Woven throughout is her personal story that helps release readers from the pressure to achieve and gives them freedom to move from planning to planting a meaningful legacy. “It’s in the imperfect—the mess of the dirt--that good things grow,” Casey reminds readers. “Peonies grow through the dirt, and so do we.” Readers will learn to embrace the season they’re in, finding balance as they interact in fresh ways with their current life scenarios, with God, and in the communities where they are planted.

Special features include

• Actionable Cultivate It prompts throughout the book
• A ten-week Cultivate Together discussion guide with questions for small groups
• “Grace from the Garden” vignettes provide encouragement and inspiration

Find the joy and the freedom that comes in cultivating what matters, little by little, with God’s transforming grace."

I need this in my life -- I need simple, easy, and imperfect... I need more real and less Pinterest worthy snapshots of what life isn't. I'll be putting this one at the top of the list, it's first up after I finish Cultivate. I've got Emily's Next book on preorder as well! Here is the description of the book from Amazon:

"As a busy wife, new mother, business owner, and designer, Emily Ley came to a point when she suddenly realized she couldn’t do it all. She needed to simplify her life, organize her days, and prioritize the priorities. She decided to hold herself to a standard of grace rather than perfection. This mantra led to the creation of her bestselling Simplified Planner^®, a favorite among busy women everywhere—from mamas to executives and everywhere in between.

Grace, Not Perfection takes this message from a daily planner to an inspirational book that encourages women to simplify and prioritize. Designed with Emily Ley’s signature aesthetic, this book gives women tangible ways to simplify their lives to give space to what matters most. With a focus on faith, Emily reminds readers that God abundantly pours out grace on us—and that surely we can extend grace to ourselves.

Have you been told you can have it all, only to end up exhausted and occasionally out of sorts with the people you love? Are you ready for a new way of seeing your time? Learn to live a little more simply. Hold yourself and those you love to a more life-giving standard in Grace Not Perfection, and allow that grace to seep into your days, your family, and your heart."
My sister sent me a text yesterday about this book -- so naturally, I had to get it -- but the premise sounds like it's right up my alley. It's a book about setting up schedules and routines so that everyone knows what to expect next and if that doesn't speak to my sweet James' need for order and structure. If this one sticks with me -- I'm going to check out their book Managers of Their Chores. Here is the description:  "Completely revised and direct from Titus2! What resource could be better than Managers of Their Homes to bring families peace and order? The answer is the newly revised Managers of Their Homes!! Managers of Their Homes has been thousands of moms' go-to resource for the past 17 years. But with time, comes even more experience besides our own and the pilot families who tested it out. We've gained new insights that we realized were vital to include in this treasured book.

Each chapter has been extensively revised and more helpful tips added. You'll also find a special chapter on how to schedule when a mom faces health challenges or is on bedrest. Plus, what good is a schedule if you can't make it run smoothly? Schedules ARE stress-busters, but you need the proper tools to make it that way. So with that in mind, we've given practical help on implementing despite the challenges you face.

In addition, the chapter on putting your schedule together with the included Scheduling Kit gives an optional route if you choose to subscribe to the online scheduling software (ScheduleBreeze). The book's new design and format makes for a super easy and comfortable read.

Grab your revised copy of Managers of Their Homes now! Can you imagine how wonderful it would be to go to bed each night, with the peace of mind that you accomplished what you wanted to each day, such as a clean house, AND homeschooling? Tens of thousands of moms prove it is possible, every day. This book INCLUDES the Scheduling Kit."

I saw an interview a week or so ago or maybe it was a podcast talking about it -- but this book sounded like something that interested me. I feel like I need some help and tips to help make sure that my kids are better than what I'm seeing lately -- both in my home and in the world. 
"In The Collapse of Parenting, internationally acclaimed author Leonard Sax argues that rising levels of obesity, depression, and anxiety among young people can be traced to parents abdicating their authority. The result is children who have no standard of right and wrong, who lack discipline, and who look to their peers and the Internet for direction. Sax shows how parents must reassert their authority—by limiting time with screens, by encouraging better habits at the dinner table, and by teaching humility and perspective—to help their children thrive in an increasingly complicated world." 

I heard someone mention this book, and it just sounded like something I needed to check out -- I can't decide where it'll fit in the order of priority -- but it's definitely in the top of the stack. Here is the Amazon description:  "Today’s busier, faster society is waging an undeclared war on childhood. With too much stuff, too many choices, and too little time, children can become anxious, have trouble with friends and school, or even be diagnosed with behavioral problems. Now internationally renowned family consultant Kim John Payne helps parents reclaim for their children the space and freedom that all kids need for their attention to deepen and their individuality to flourish. Simplicity Parenting offers inspiration, ideas, and a blueprint for change:  
• Streamline your home environment. Reduce the amount of toys, books, and clutter—as well as the lights, sounds, and general sensory overload.
• Establish rhythms and rituals. Discover ways to ease daily tensions, create battle-free mealtimes and bedtimes, and tell if your child is overwhelmed. 
• Schedule a break in the schedule. Establish intervals of calm and connection in your child’s daily torrent of constant doing.
• Scale back on media and parental involvement. Manage your children’s “screen time” to limit the endless deluge of information and stimulation. 

A manifesto for protecting the grace of childhood, Simplicity Parenting is an eloquent guide to bringing new rhythms to bear on the lifelong art of raising children."

Seasons of Change

I'm not sure when or how it happened, but suddenly I'm at a place where I just am feeling so deeply grateful for the paths I've crossed in the last year.

If I look back about a year ago... not quite, but July 2016... things were looking very dark and I had a lot of turmoil in my life. There was a friendship that wasn't working, a community that wasn't working, and just general unhappiness. One morning, I woke up and it just wasn't my chosen path anymore.

I took a step out in faith and I walked away - as I've said before - when your heart attitude mirrors something that you don't like, it's time to walk away. I've done this a few times in my life, and I think that it's the place where I am able to uncover exactly where I need to be. Things along this new path may not always be easy, there will surely be rocks and obstacles... but it will be worth it.

This doesn't always look like a huge fight, but sometimes it is a drifting apart that just gets to a point that it needs a clean break... so at the end of July 2016, I made that clean break. It was time, and while it's hard and painful... it was truly time. I walked away. I don't harbor any bad feelings about any of it, but for me - it was freeing to be able to move in the direction that works best for my little world.

To shift my focus on things that matter to me -- and things that would matter to me when I'm at the end of my life. Who would be around me, what things would look like... and where I would be the most at peace in all things.

Ironically, it was at the same time that I started hearing about someone that has quickly become one of my favorite inspirational figures -- Lara Casey -- the first time I encountered her Facebook Page, she was completely open, raw, and vulnerable about having to start completely over on writing her new book. I was instantly drawn to her realness and her spiritualness even in the time of a huge struggle... and I just knew -- THIS is the type of person that would inspire me toward that place I am heading. She is a kindred spirit for me too because she also has two littles that are 6 months apart in age - so she gets exactly where I've been in that.

I'm looking for simplified, spiritual, and grateful... that's where I'm heading. When I reach the end of my time here on earth - I want the words -- spiritual, generous, loving, and grateful to be spoken about me.

• I want my family to know how deeply they were loved - even if it was imperfectly loved.
• I want my friends to know how much I cherished doing life alongside them.  
• I want people to think of me as being generous with all things - while also making sure to do those things well.
• I want people to know that everything they've done for me is appreciated... even things that I didn't like. 
• I want to take my last breath with everyone knowing that there isn't a single thing that I regret. 

Life hasn't been perfect, there have been many ups and downs along the way -- but all of those things shape us to the place that we are meant to go according to God's plan. There can be frustration in not knowing the ultimate plan, but everything worth having is worth waiting & struggling for. 

This quote is so true, now with some hindsight on where I've been spent the last year of my life, I can absolutely relate to it. In walking away from one friend, I lost another one for a while -- but we've reconnected and things are just much more fruitful right now in where we are. I look forward to growing our friendship, and that with another one who has never waivered in her support of me... good things are coming. 

My hope in writing this is to share that over the coming posts -- I'm going to show you more about this new outlook on life, share what I'm doing to get after these things, and love my people well. I hope that you'll stick around with me on this journey. 

This is 39

Here we are, day 1 of year 39 -- I'm thinking of it as the beginning of a new book. There is nothing magical about January 1st being the beginning of new things. I've been trying to be more intentional this year as a whole, but things within myself are changing.

There is an interesting phenomenon that is happening within my mind and spirit lately -- and it's causing me to care less about what others think of me, and own who I am. You may not like who I am, but that doesn't mean that either of us are wrong... maybe we are just moving in different directions.

I've always been very much a people pleaser and mediator between those in opposition, so this is very much a shift for me. I just feel more balanced in where life is settling in right now, and I think that's a good thing. That isn't to say that I don't want to better things in several areas -- we are always a work in progress friends.

Lately, I've been watching several videos and following Lara Casey (Cultivate What Matters), Erin Chase (MyFreezEasy), and Emily Ley (Simplified Planner). These ladies are my SHE-ROES -- because their messages of simplification and putting what matters to you at the forefront of your daily tasks just really speaks to where I am today.

How many of us can relate with this lady in the photo above? I know I can, but you know what is going on here... it's a lot of our own making. I'm writing this more for myself than anyone else... because I know that I've become "too busy." Personally, I am trying to keep up with too much, and spending more time doing things virtually than I am in person. I'm shy by nature, so somethings are just outside of my comfort zone... but I want to be someone that does hard things.

How do we do that? Think about the things in your life that will matter when you are 80 (or older), and choose to focus on those things rather than the clutter that fills our inboxes and social media feeds on a daily basis. For me -- those things are FAITH, FAMILY, and FRIENDS. I'll even throw in one that doesn't start with F too -- HEALTH -- mental and physical.

Beginning this summer - those are my 4 main focus areas... so if something isn't helping with that - I'm going to start backing away from it. I'm still working on what those things are, but I plan to delete apps from my phone that take away from those things -- or apps that I don't even use. There is so much there that I don't even use... but also I want to extend an invitation to everyone out there -- join me in this journey.

I really want to dive in wholeheartedly into this -- so if you'd like to do the same -- please reach out to me. If we have been friends for zero time or since birth... lets find some time to reconnect. That might mean that we have to Skype, but lets make it happen.

For me, when I'm 80 years old... the things that I believe will matter to me are: my faith, my husband & children (hopefully grandchildren too), my extended family, my friends that have walked through life with me, and my health -- obviously the last one is incredibly important to the whole making it to 80 and beyond.

That being said... in the words of Jerry Maguire... Who's Coming with Me?

Journey of Loving my Family Well

Can I take a second to laugh at my boy, Tyler... I mean that boy gets so weird in front of the camera... he almost always looks like his eyes are about to pop out of his skull.

This year, I'm seeking out ways to love my family in more tangible ways -- to be present and love them in more effective ways.

How do I want to do that -- I'm thinking of Bible studies with John; daily devotions with the boys; date nights with John at least monthly; date nights with the boys.

I was thinking that the boy's date nights would work by dividing and concurring... i.e. James goes out with Mom one month then Dad the next month... and the same with Tyler. That way each of them has a special time with one of us each month.

I gave John a year of planned out dates as part of his Christmas gift -- so we just have to choose a day each month to accomplish them. I'm hoping that by the end of the month we can get January's date planned, but he is still working around the clock on a big project at work -- so hopefully it will wind up soon.

We got the One Year Devotional for Preschoolers 2

 

For our first trial run of doing this -- I wanted something very simple and short that we could read while they are having their dinner at night. Just a 2-3 minute talk and hopefully it will get them talking about things that the reading bring to their mind. 

Next up, I need to find a Bible study for John and I to work on together. We did get a really cool journal for Christmas -- so we're going to be working on that this year too. 

 

Those are some of my initial ideas for how I can work toward trying to be more dialed in with my family. Of course there are others that I am looking into -- so I'll let you know about those as I learn more.

Goals for 2017

It's 2017 y'all! I'm so excited to have turned the page on the year and to have a fresh start. I don't know why everything feels fresh and new magically on January 1st, but there is just something about the start of a new calendar year that gives me a whole new hope for doing things better and being stronger.

Well, this year I've got a new tool in my belt -- it's called Powersheets! I'll have a link down below to check out to see if there are any left for you to get them. If there aren't -- you should ABSOLUTELY go over and check out Lara Casey's Blog -- grab a notebook and DIY yourself some powersheets!

I wanted to take some time and share what I came up with for my goals this year... but I want to start with Lara's overarching words for this year that we are all about Progress over Perfection. I couldn't have said that any better than she did. So with that said -- my word for 2017 is: JOURNEY!

I want to embrace all of the ups and downs that come along with setting goals for the year... which I have often let derail my goals in the past. I've so often started something, had a hiccup along the way and let that completely stop the entire process.

My main goal for this year is to NOT let those hiccups take away from the good progress that is happening in my life.

So I worked through the entire prep work section of the Powersheets and ended up with these goals.

(feel free to click on this to get a better look)

These are the 10 things that I'm working on this year -- or at least for this first season of 2017. Every 3 months there is a goal refresh process that you can work through to make sure that your goals haven't changed a bit over time. If they have - then you can change them up a bit and keep going... 

Once you've written your goals for the year out -- which you can have as many or as few as you want... then you make an action plan for each of them. 

I chose this goal to show you the action plan -- just because I wanted to show an example and I thought that this one is the most important for the year. I also bought a new bible for my work this year... 

 

This One Year Chronological Bible is on sale right now and it's the NLT version so it's going to be pretty practical. I love that it also has some adult coloring spaces as well for you to get a little creative and spend some time soaking in the Word of the Lord. Mine should be here by the middle of next week -- so I'll be working hard to get caught up to the daily reading for whatever day it delivers, by pouring into it for a few days. 

After your action plan is written in your Powersheets for each Goal -- then you fill out your monthly tending list -- which is a place for you to write in your Monthly, Weekly, and Daily tasks that will help you accomplish progress toward your goals. 

This is my Tending List for January -- and I LOVE that it has a progress bar for the monthly goals, then a checkbox for the weekly and daily goals. I'm already loving seeing the check marks getting placed in the boxes. 

If you see down at the bottom there that nothing is happening with my first 3 daily goals... well, that's because I also am in the process of reading about a new lifestyle plan that my sister uses along with her Beachbody workout systems... so I'm going to give it a shot. I just may wait another week or so to get it all planned out. I'm planning to go visit my mom for a few days a week from Monday -- so I will likely not hit the ground running with this plan until the last week of the month, but I do plan to start working out again next week and getting more water in... and making healthier choices with food once we are back into our other routines. 

I'll write more about what I'm planning to do here in a few more days -- once I've finished the book! 

Use this link below to check out the shop where all of these amazing Powersheets and other items can be found. There isn't a thing on their site that I don't have on my wish list!

Turkey on the Table

Lately, I've noticed my kids are just totally ungrateful for the blessings that they have in their lives. I know this isn't an uncommon phenomenon in our culture, but I really want them to be thankful for all that we have - so I'm working on a strategy to help them see that they have it pretty darn good. In school, we've been talking about praying for others and being thankful for the things that we have.

With November coming up -- I remembered something I saw last year, by the time I saw it though - they were sold out of their inventory.

This is directly from their website:

Did you know that gratitude is a learned behavior? Turkey on the Table^® is a book & activity that encourages the whole family to express and display their gratitude.  Our goal is to turn thankfulness into a daily routine.  As parents, we want to instill values in our children that help them understand and appreciate all of life’s blessings. Cultivating a grateful heart helps create a happy child!
Not only will your family experience the benefits of being thankful, you will also experience the joy of giving, knowing that 10 meals will be provided to someone in need with each Turkey on the Table^® sold. To date, over 102,000 meals have been donated by Turkey on the Table^® through our partnership with Feeding America^® .
I absolutely love that they've combined the program with giving back to give meals to those in need. I can't imagine a better learning lesson than to talk to the kids about how some people don't know where their next meal will come from. I've looked into taking them to pack lunches for school kids that can't provide their own - it's a sack lunch program for needy children in our area - but they aren't old enough yet to go help with packing them.

So, we're going to try this - I love that when it comes time to do it again - you can just get new feathers from them in all sorts of different styles. We will start it on November 1st, and go until the end of the month. I'll read them the book in school on November 1st, and set him out on the kitchen table -- then we will add to him every night when they're having dinner. It'll be our new family tradition, and it doesn't hurt that the turkey is super cute!

I can't wait to see what sorts of things that they answer because I'm not going to let them use the same answer everyday like they've done before -- in order to get a feather it has to be something new to add. I haven't opened the box yet to preview the story, but I'm sure that it will be great too.

I would encourage y'all to get one for yourselves -- you've got a week and a day before it's time to get started -- so order TODAY, and share in the journey with us!

Leave a comment below if you've used Turkey on the Table already -- or if you're planning to start it this year!

I also have been loving my personal hair color that I get from eSalon - I took a survey that told the colorist some things about my coloring and skin tone, and sent them a photo of myself so that they could custom mix my color for me. They auto-ship it to me every 12 weeks... and all I have to do is take the time to put it on. Easy peasy!