I've been emailing with a blog friend of mine today about various freakouts that I've been battling with in my head about this surgery. Mainly that I'm scared to death that the fact that my scale isn't moving - or my weight isn't going down - that this means that I've done all of this for nothing. I try to force those thoughts out of my head, but from time to time - they creep in and take hold of my brain... probably because we've all been conditioned by the diets we've tried in the past that have only lead to failure.
The difference with surgery is that you can't give up and go back to your old ways - or you can, but you'd really have to be ready for some pain and work at it constantly. It might not be so hard a few years down the line, but my hope is that I never let myself forget where I came from in the journey. Whenever the scale goes up more than a couple of pounds at any given time (once I reach my goal) I plan to refocus and pull out the scrapbook I'm currently making to see how far I've traveled and what the stakes are if I let the battle go. I of course am glad that I have such a great support system both in the blog world and at home.
So I'm desperately trying today to just let all of those feelings go - and do what I know I need to in order to someday see a light at the end of this tunnel. As Donna says - when we're heavier - it takes longer for us to see changes in our clothing sizes... so I'm trying to stay positive. I have seen some changes there, but not as dramatic as I would have hoped I would see by now.
Here is what I'll have consumed by the end of the day:
6 AM - 8 oz of Grape Juice - sweetened with splenda... because I'm still trying to not get sick!
7-8 AM - 16 oz of water - on the drive in to work...
8:30 AM - 4 oz of my Isopure shake (chocolate) mixed with Mootopia Skim Milk
9 - 10:30 AM - 8 oz of water - work makes me so unfocused with drinking!!
11 AM - 4 oz of Isopure shake (chocolate) mixed with Mootopia Skim Milk
11:30 - 12:30 PM - No water... DARN!
1 PM - 2 oz turkey patty with spinach, 1 tsp mayo, and 1/4 of a low-carb pita
1:30 - 2:30 PM - 8 oz of water
3 PM - 1/2 cup frozen edamame steamed with chicken broth, and a dash of soy sauce
3:30 - 4:15 - 16 oz of water
4:45 PM - 4 oz of Isopure shake (chocolate) mixed with Mootopia Skim Milk
5:15 - 6 PM - 16 oz of water - if I make these last two... that gets my 64 oz today!!
7 PM - 2 oz leftover rotisserie chicken and 1/4 cup of green beans
7:30 PM - if I can take it - I'll have 10 oz of iced tea with 1 packet of splenda
So those of you out there that are WLS veterans - let me know what you think about my diet for today...
I'll also be walking at 6 with my friends - I don't know the distance that we walk, but we walk for 30 minutes. I'll get out there one of these days soon and drive our walk path to see how far we go in those 30 minutes.
I've also just sent my daily plan to the nutritionist for my hospital - Jodi has always been a great help - so maybe she'll have some suggestions or offer to look over my diet for a few days to see if there is something I could be doing better.