Monday, June 9, 2008

Ultimate Act of Maturity

I'm adding a special post because this morning I found out something that I found both sad and funny at the same time. I'm going to leave the details vague, but I'm pretty sure that the person in question doesn't read this blog anyway... and if she does... she'll know how I feel now...

I've had a certain "friend" for a very long time, but due to circumstances beyond my control - we've drifted farther and farther apart every year as we've gotten older. As I've grown and matured, in a lot of ways she has stayed exactly the same.

She doesn't believe in the same things that I do, doesn't know what it means to earn her own money, makes very bad judgements about people and most importantly people she chooses to date... and I have been struggling for a long time about what to do about our friendship. The most important thing to me has been understanding what God would command me to do in this situation - minister to her, or walk away?

I sought out the advice of my mentor, Lisa, and while she told me that God might allow us the opportunity to walk away when we've done all we can... she doesn't believe that he'd give us the out to completely close the door on the friendship. So, basically - I've been nothing but nice to this person, but at the same time have not sought out time with her lately. I have left the door open for anytime that she might need me, but also have guarded myself and surrounded myself with people that are from a completely different mindset.

I enjoy relationships where I can nurture them, support them, learn, and grow from them... not ones that feel like they are sucking the life out of me. It's sad but true that some of my relationship with blog readers that I've never met meet those criteria in more ways than this particular friendship has in a long time.

So this morning, I had a reason to check one of the social networking sites out there - and this person had removed me from their friend list... which I found funny at the time, but sad too that she thought that the best way to handle things would be to just delete and ignore them. I guess that truly shows the measure of her depth. Believe me - I'm not taking it personally and really am not that worried about it, but it just seems sad that at 30 years old... more maturity and tact can't be used.

I consider myself a good person and a good friend, but this person just couldn't be helped. It's sad and I mourn for the loss of life that she is resigning herself into - because only more misery comes from the path that she is choosing... but as always - I'll continue to be right here following the path for my life that is glorifying to God, and should he put me in her life again at some point in the future - I hope that I can honestly accomplish whatever he feels is my duty in her life - because this time around I seem to have failed. Or maybe I have accomplished what I needed to, and just don't know it? Either way - I wish her nothing but happiness and joy... and I truly from the bottom of my heart, hope that she finds whatever it is that she is looking for in life.