Friday, November 21, 2008

Judgement & Lessons Learned

There has been a lot of talk in my little circle of Weight Loss Surgery friends lately about what we're willing to share about our successes with the outside world... I am VERY open about my successes and failures - but that's also when I'm mainly cloaked in the anonymity of the blog world.

My friend Meghan had this to say recently about her experience... Here and the follow up message is Here. Then just yesterday, Jil had an experience that is nothing less than disheartening to those of us that have chosen weight loss surgery as our path... Here.

I wrap all this up with our message from last night's Bible study lesson... it was about speaking the truth in love to one another... and basically it's all about the way in which you say things, your motives, and then the way that your message is delivered to the recipient.

We all know how cruel this world can be a times, and sometimes the people that are the closest to us are the most hurtful - even when it's unintentional. Once those words are out there - you can't ever take them back... and sometimes recovery from that just never happens. In the case of what Jil experienced - if I were in the same situation, I don't know that I'd ever be able to carry on a normal relationship with the person that wronged her again.

Sure, I could be the bigger person - and move on - forgive if you will, but do you ever let that person back in as close as they were before? I'm not so sure.

The heart is an interesting part of us, don't you think? As I look back at my own life... there have been many people that have hurt or wronged me over the years, but each one of those moments has shaped me into the person that I am today... and for that - I thank each and every one of those people for their part in my life's story.

Every break up, lost friend... whatever the moment was that caused me pain - also caused me to learn a lesson of some sort, and led me down a path that has also brought me great joy too. Think about it, if you hadn't lost your first love... you wouldn't have experienced the moment of meeting your future spouse. (Unless they are one in the same - which for most of us isn't the case.) Somehow, I've gotten way off the topic that I thought I was writing about when I started this post...

To bring it back to Meg & Jil and their recent experiences - I have been very lucky so far in my journey through weight loss surgery. I have been very open in every avenue of my life about what I've done and what I'm going through... maybe it's different because the weight loss hasn't been as rapid for me has it has for others... but I haven't experienced anyone feeling anything other than happiness for my weight loss.

Occasionally at my last office, I'd hear grumblings about it being easier for me than for others to lose weight because of the path that I chose... but in all honesty - those people are jealous, and it's their way of justifying their own weight loss failures to themselves. I've done it a time or two in my life too - now - I chose to keep those feelings between myself and maybe John... but there have been times when I've been jealous for whatever reason and lashed out in my own emotions.

The difference is that I would NEVER say that to the person or to anyone else... because really it's a moment when God is trying to teach me about being content in the season of life that he's put me in, and learning whatever lesson I'm meant to learn from that season... some are harder to learn than others, but in the end - it shapes me into the person that I am supposed to be.

So why can't we all just embrace the successes of those around us? Maybe the lady in Jil's story needs to spend some time watching the videos our group has been watching over the last 4 weeks... she might learn a lot about what it means to love people around you... and get closer to God.