Thursday, May 7, 2009

Tap Tap Tap...

is this thing on.... crickets...

Alright my wonderful bloggy friends... I'm going to admit that this week, I am completely broken. I'm totally blaming the hormones... because yes - I'm taking them again to make my body function properly... seems like I have to take a pill to make this hunk of flesh and bone do ANYTHING!

To those of you that submitted questions for Q&A Wednesday - I'm sorry that I never got around to it - I will save them for next week. I've sunken into a pit right now, and it's all I can do to stay awake right now and try to appear like I'm properly functioning in society.

Someone called my motives into question today (You can read Jen's response to it here... as I shared the information with a couple of friends) - and I just want to take a moment to fill you guys in on somethings about me.

1) I don't blog for attention... I blog because I love to write, journal and share stories - if there are people that enjoy reading it and benefit from those stories... even better. I don't think my life is any better or more interesting that anyone else's... but that's sort of the point! To share life - real life... normal life as it happens.

2) I have made some very DEAR friends through blogging - and my only hope is that I get to meet you all on this side of heaven... because you truly have lifted me up in times when I didn't think it was possible.

3) There are people out there that will attack even your most well meaning intentions, and it's a sad fact. They are the cowards - life is a big jumble of mixed up people all trying to just do the best they can with what they have... and anyone that would attack, belittle or try to just take a shot at them for no reason is a burden on society as a whole.

4) We live in a world that can sometimes be completely CRUEL, and self-centered... if you are different from the norm - you undoubtedly have felt it at one time or another. I feel it on MANY levels everyday... every struggle I have puts me outside of the norm - and my weight loss struggles coupled with my infertility struggles only tend to make that more apparent.

5) I personally am out here blogging and reading blogs to support, share and generally encourage those that read my piece of the world wide web... not break them down and make them feel worse... WHY can't everyone else think about that?

6) For the comment leavers that are rude and generally a disgusting portrait of humanity... just know that YOUR hateful comments will be deleted... they'll never see the light of day on this blog - so sell your brand of crazy somewhere else... how about you create your own blog and talk about the horrible evil people that have taken control of their lives on their own terms and lost weight... I'm sure you'll have plenty of support by other members of the lowest form of human life we have on this planet.

On another note, I am completely overwhelmed by my depression - for lack of a better way to describe it at the moment... and I'm retreating into the arms of the man that I love more than anyone else I share this Earth with - so we're creating a little couch picnic for tonight with movies and lots of just hanging out time... the rules were - upstairs in our game laptops/no cell phones. Just us. Doesn't that sound AMAZING?!

Then tomorrow, we're having a sort of staycation... we'll spend the morning getting the yard cleaned up and the grocery shopping done... then we're going to go find something fun to do... even if we just go sit at a park - I don't care - I just want to be with John and figure out how to feel alive again... not like I'm living in some sort of "out of body" experience looking at life from a dark tunnel.

If we should take some pictures along the way... I'll be sure to share them over the weekend.