Thursday, May 7, 2009

Tap Tap Tap...

is this thing on.... crickets...

Alright my wonderful bloggy friends... I'm going to admit that this week, I am completely broken. I'm totally blaming the hormones... because yes - I'm taking them again to make my body function properly... seems like I have to take a pill to make this hunk of flesh and bone do ANYTHING!

To those of you that submitted questions for Q&A Wednesday - I'm sorry that I never got around to it - I will save them for next week. I've sunken into a pit right now, and it's all I can do to stay awake right now and try to appear like I'm properly functioning in society.

Someone called my motives into question today (You can read Jen's response to it here... as I shared the information with a couple of friends) - and I just want to take a moment to fill you guys in on somethings about me.

1) I don't blog for attention... I blog because I love to write, journal and share stories - if there are people that enjoy reading it and benefit from those stories... even better. I don't think my life is any better or more interesting that anyone else's... but that's sort of the point! To share life - real life... normal life as it happens.

2) I have made some very DEAR friends through blogging - and my only hope is that I get to meet you all on this side of heaven... because you truly have lifted me up in times when I didn't think it was possible.

3) There are people out there that will attack even your most well meaning intentions, and it's a sad fact. They are the cowards - life is a big jumble of mixed up people all trying to just do the best they can with what they have... and anyone that would attack, belittle or try to just take a shot at them for no reason is a burden on society as a whole.

4) We live in a world that can sometimes be completely CRUEL, and self-centered... if you are different from the norm - you undoubtedly have felt it at one time or another. I feel it on MANY levels everyday... every struggle I have puts me outside of the norm - and my weight loss struggles coupled with my infertility struggles only tend to make that more apparent.

5) I personally am out here blogging and reading blogs to support, share and generally encourage those that read my piece of the world wide web... not break them down and make them feel worse... WHY can't everyone else think about that?

6) For the comment leavers that are rude and generally a disgusting portrait of humanity... just know that YOUR hateful comments will be deleted... they'll never see the light of day on this blog - so sell your brand of crazy somewhere else... how about you create your own blog and talk about the horrible evil people that have taken control of their lives on their own terms and lost weight... I'm sure you'll have plenty of support by other members of the lowest form of human life we have on this planet.

On another note, I am completely overwhelmed by my depression - for lack of a better way to describe it at the moment... and I'm retreating into the arms of the man that I love more than anyone else I share this Earth with - so we're creating a little couch picnic for tonight with movies and lots of just hanging out time... the rules were - upstairs in our game laptops/no cell phones. Just us. Doesn't that sound AMAZING?!

Then tomorrow, we're having a sort of staycation... we'll spend the morning getting the yard cleaned up and the grocery shopping done... then we're going to go find something fun to do... even if we just go sit at a park - I don't care - I just want to be with John and figure out how to feel alive again... not like I'm living in some sort of "out of body" experience looking at life from a dark tunnel.

If we should take some pictures along the way... I'll be sure to share them over the weekend.


  1. Sadly, I don't think you needed to say one bit of this, because those of us who read/follow regularly KNOW this about you, just based on what we read. It's a sad commentary that you feel the need to justify what YOU do, YOU say and YOU have created here on this lovely little blog'o yours. Anyone who don't like it...can sit & spin.

    Aside from that, your little retreat with John tonight does sound divine. Going without cell phones - now THAT is something my husband & I should make a point to do for one day. Thanks for the idea!

  2. hugs honey! big hugs! i've been there. let me know if i can do anything.

  3. I'm so sorry that this occurred. There are so many sick, unhappy people in the world. I know how crushed i was by a recent comment - even tho it was NOT unkindly intended.

    The title "tap, tap, tap" made me think of something - do you know EFT? It might help with your depression. Emotional Freedom Technique. You can Google it, or email me.

    One of the things i love about blogs is that they are never ending stories of people who are "just folks." Don't have to be famous or heroes or something extra special. The true heroes are those who meet life's everyday hurts & pains with grace, & you certainly are one of those, you sweet, sassy girl!

    I wish i could give you a big hug! Enjoy your "staycation."

  4. Girl I am here for you if you need me. Sometimes you can't listen to others. I have been in my own world today... I like it there.

  5. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Someone once told me that when it comes to infertility, we set little goals for ourself and when each month we face a negative on a stick, we mourn what we didn't have. This is all normal. You have to allow yourself time to mourn. Lean heavily on your friends and your husband...they won't fact they will love you more! As far as the rude person.. Ignore them. Be better than they are and take the high road. I will pray for you to have a blessed weekend.

  6. Just want to add...I have the opposite problem on my blog..No one cares :(

  7. Oh, Kim. I'm so sorry you have had to deal with such a rude and downright disgusting comment. That person obviously has issues....and it has nothing to do with you!

    I've truly enjoyed getting to know you a little in the blogosphere. The reason I blog and read other blogs is for encouragement, enjoyment, and inspiration. You provide all three!

    Enjoy this special evening with your hubby! It sounds like a perfect date.

    Praying for you,

  8. Kim

    I'm so sorry. This makes me sad. And perhaps your response can be a witness to whoever hurt you. Your grace can remind them to change and perhaps even grow into something better. This person doesn't truly know you, dear, and those who do know, know best.


  9. Good for Jen for saying things so eloquently. I would have been much more nasty, because darling Julie deserved it.
    Find your way back, Kim. Life throws us curves all the time and though you have had more than your share of them lately, remember that above all, you have to trust God. His plan is perfect and He will never give you more than you can handle. It's perfectly okay to back away for a time and work at finding your center again ad you are doing tonight, but tomorrow, face it with a smile. After all, it will still be the day that the Lord has made, so let us rejoice and be glad.

  10. I've been lurking a lot lately...I should have MADE you come out last night...I don't think I'm going to take no for an answer anymore.

    <3 Renee

  11. Kim,

    I am so sad that you seem to get more than your fair share of unhappy/mean people. It is almost like junior high school, except then you knew which ones were likely to attack.

    I hope ya'll have a good staycation.

  12. Clearly the person who left that comment has her own issues. I have not only found your blog to be an inspiration, but an encouragement as well. Your sweet spirit is a bright light in this dark journey, and I am so glad to have "met" you.

    Hope the staycation helps take your mind off all this!! (((hugs)))

  13. I'm sorry you seem to get all of the crazy commenters.. The people who read your blog know what kind of person you are, and if I thought you were the person that she thinks you are, I wouldn't read your blog. LOL
    Sorry you're going through so much right now.. everyone before me made excellent points. Just try to keep your chin up and know that this is all part of His plan!


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