Thursday, August 27, 2009

Protector/Provider

This week, I've learned a lot about leaning on people when you need to. I've learned that my husband truly can do more without words than anyone else can. The only way to explain it would be that God certainly picked the perfect man to pair me with - because I don't think I could have gotten through this without him.

I'm not saying that I am through it... but the healing process is certainly made better by a strong protective provider in my corner.

He went in to the appointment with me and held my hand through another painful and invasive procedure - without batting an eye. He was very aware of all of the measurements going on with the ultrasound... much more than I'd ever remember on my own.

From the moment that John found out that our cycle had been cancelled - he has been great. He has held my hand, checked on me, made me a warm brownie ala mode, and gone to bat with the doctor's office for us.

The hardest pill for us to swallow is that this was so completely preventable - and that it was our gut feeling to prevent it in the first place, but we let the doctor talk us out of it. All because he wanted to save us some money... which in reality - if you consider the wasted medicine, 2 ultrasounds, a teaching visit, and some blood work... we are out $1,600 or so just so that he could save us $250! *Nice going Doc!*

I think we've both been very angry over that fact, but unlike me... John goes to bat. My doctor's office is learning that they aren't just dealing with me anymore. John talked to them today - because when I talked to the lady on Tuesday... she insisted that I needed another $100 teaching visit for this new medication.

The main issue with that is the fact that I've been giving myself injections for quite a while now... and my first teaching visit only lasted at most 15 minutes. They booked me for an hour... so John talked to them and we won't be paying for the next teaching visit.

He's also working on getting them to give us an ultrasound for free as well - because in all reality - we feel like they should do the $85 blood work, get those results, and THEN do the $300 ultrasound... because honestly - my blood work was the only way they knew something was wrong. Anyone else think this is messed up?

They could have cancelled us by only using the $85 test... but instead we had the ultrasound first, and are out $385 - on top of the $350 that I paid for the baseline/teaching visit... and the $1,000 for medications!

UGH!

Bitter... party of 2...

You bet!

The more we talk about it - the more we just don't understand why things were done in the order that they were. I mean if there was a pill that could have stopped my testosterone at the level it was when I went off of the birth control pill... why didn't they just give me that? Knowing that I have a severe problem with my body stopping ovulation by surging testosterone...

It also doesn't make sense that I've had to fight to get those testosterone levels taken in the first place. It's crazy!

John has also gotten them to give us some extra long needles (ummm...GREAT! bleh!) to help get the injections in deeper this time around to maximize absorption. Apparently these shots will go in a different injection site... so John will be more involved... because I don't think I can do it on my own.

I haven't had a chance to talk to him fully about his conversation with the doctor's office, but I'm sure that I'll learn a lot more when he gets home.

I am just grateful that he's able to make these sort of calls and protect us - because I know I couldn't do it on my own. Something about talking with that office makes me either go completely blank in my mind... or get emotional.

Since I'm still down about this whole mess... I think the emotional would have happened today.

The thing that has happened for me, is that my need to keep moving and keep busy so that I don't think about it - has caused me to be more productive in all areas of my life... the house is a little cleaner, the laundry is actually folded AND put away, the kitchen is clean, I've cooked, and I've gotten more crossed off my "to do" list from work than I ever thought possible in two days.

But more than anything - I had to tell everyone that my husband is a prince... and I love him for just being him. Hopefully tomorrow or Saturday we'll be able to get away from our normal routine and find something fun to do together. I'm on the hunt for something... if anyone has any ideas - shoot them my way.