Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Purposeful

I've always wanted to feel like my blog is out here to make some sort of a difference. I blog for a lot of reasons, but at the same time - I want to make sure that I maximize the impact that my words can have on the people that read them.

What does that mean? Well, I write this blog to pass along information to those that want to know what is going on in my life... I write so that just maybe my story can help someone else in their life... I write to share my faith in whatever way I can with anyone that is open to hearing about it.

I am not very good with the spoken word, so sitting down to witness to someone is just about out of the question... but can you imagine how thrilled I'd be if someone came to know Jesus through my blog or my writing?!

I wrote yesterday about the New Testament Challenge that my church is doing... and I wrote a little bit last week about the 36 hour fast that we did in order to prepare ourselves for this challenge. I completed the first day of the challenge by spending my lunch hour reading the Bible.

When we talked about it at church - they said that our daily reading might take us 15 minutes. But I spent an hour reading through it, studying the study notes, journaling, answering the daily question, and praying. Do you know that my lunch hour was the most effective and important hour of my entire day yesterday? How many times can a person say that these days?

I'd planned on it taking 15 minutes, but it took me 60... and they were the best 60 minutes of my day. I am doing this reading plan again today for my lunch hour - although today, I'm working from home... so it won't need to be me finding a hiding spot to not be interrupted... it'll just be me sitting down with God to learn from his words, and talk to him about everything that is going on in my life.

Believe me... there is a LOT going on in my life. I've got a crazy busy schedule at work; I'm trying to get my Etsy store off the ground; I've got one friend in crisis with the loss of a baby; another friend in the middle of a new IVF cycle; yet another friend experiencing the biggest gift of her life (it's a secret right now, but I'll share the good news once it's official); John is ill; I'm having debilitating cramps today; and our own infertility struggle is going strong... with no real end in sight yet.

Even with all of that - I am able to pick myself up everyday, help the people that I can in my life... and keep moving forward. Do you know the only reason that I'm able to do that? God.

If I hadn't found God in 2006 - I surely would have crumbled through all of the struggles over the last three years. Without. A. Doubt.

The struggles over the last three years have been nothing without his grace. He has gotten us through some serious marital problems, illness, two weight loss surgeries, infertility... and many other things. I can honestly tell you that had I not found him when I did - my life would be VERY different today than it is in actuality.

It's a scary thought... I was headed into a dark place at that time, and now - I can't tell you how many times I look up and realize that I'm surrounded by bright light even in the midst of the darkest moments of infertility. God meets me in the places where I need him the most, and lifts me up to carry me through.

That is an amazing gift, and I am grateful that even just in day two of this new 12 week challenge... I am able to see what a gift it is.

We are embarking on this for 12 weeks, as I said before... so we'll be finished by December 6th. Do you know how much can happen in just in my life within that time span? Our infertility journey could take a major turn for the positive... we could finish the 12 weeks pregnant.

We could have several friends who have the same experience - ending their infertility journey with pregnancies. We could watch God do some much needed healing in the lives of some of our closest friends. We could see God deliver a miracle to a couple that deserves it as much as anyone else I know.

God can do anything - and surely - when this 12 weeks is over... our lives will all be changed forever. In what ways, we don't know... but with God anything is possible.