Funny title to a post you might be thinking... but hang in there with me for a little bit. I've been thinking a lot lately about those of us ladies who are still hoping and waiting for a miracle baby in whatever form that takes in each of our homes. Some are waiting for fertility treatments to work. Some are waiting for it to happen naturally. Some are waiting for an adopted baby. Some are just waiting - because they don't know which road to take yet.
I've been hearing a lot of talk lately about disaster recovery. It's mainly because I work in an organization that is really instrumental in storm recovery for our area... BUT the messages are clear and can be molded to fit any portion of your life. Then last night - I was reading my Bible and the same themes were popping up in the reading.
Think about a time in your life when things were so bad... that you couldn't imagine them getting any worse. For me, that would be the day that I understood that the fertility treatments weren't working - and probably never would be successful. My own worst nightmare - unimaginable. Dark. Lonely. Envious. Broken.
Now, think about the people that showed up in that moment to lift you and walk along side you through that storm. I can think of several off the top of my head that have been there every step of the way. They know who they are... my angels, my light, my soul sisters... my greatest friends. (The women that recieved an email yesterday in one of my moments of panic.) Several are blog friends like: Jenn and Summer... and now Kristen. Some are ladies that I never really thought of as friends... but they stepped up and have been amazing.
Some that I thought would be there - weren't for whatever reason and that's okay. I'm sure that there are reasons that they couldn't be there... and I love them still. I'm just grateful that there were others waiting in the wings to fill their spot.
One thing that I've heard over and over is that you need at least a handfull of friends that you could call in the middle of the night - and they'd be there. In my life, being there doesn't necessarily mean that they'd drive right over to my house... just an open heart and a kind word is all I'd ever need. I feel like I do have that... and if I'd just get over my insane fear of the phone... I know that they'd be there in a heart-beat.
It's a crazy virtual world we live in these days, and for all the good & bad that it brings... I'm so glad to be living in it. Without the world of blogging - I wouldn't have had the opportunity to get to know so many women that are simply amazing. Heck, I wouldn't have met John if it weren't for the internet!
I guess in my own weird way, I am working around to being thankful for what I have... even if there is still a void in my heart at the moment waiting for my miracle. Today, while we might be getting a Christmas miracle outside (lets all pray that John and I can get back home if it truly does snow) I just wanted to remind you readers and myself how grateful I am for the blessings that I do have.
Even in it's own weird way, infertility has been a blessing. Without the darkest of moments - I might not have gotten to the place spiritually that I am today. It's hard not to see a living breathing relationship with God as being a bad thing. It was a hard road to get there, for sure... but he's gotten me through to a place where I can see that his plans are much better than any that I could come up with on my own.
So that's it folks - that's where I am today... so tell me... what was your darkest moment? Did the people that showed up to walk beside you surprise you in any way? Was it all the folks you expected? Or were there some surprises?
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