Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Window to the Inside

Before we jump off into something slightly deep - please remember to go enter to win in my Christmas Giveaway!!

Have you every felt completely and totally helpless? I've heard that it is an emotion often felt by parents when their children are sick... the type of helplessness where there is absolutely nothing you can do to make a situation better - but there is nothing in the world that you want more.

I've experienced that feeling several times in the last few months with special friends... there have been so many wonderful women that my life has crossed paths with lately - and the last month or so has been extremely tough for two of the closest ones of the bunch.

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel for one of them, Jenn - and I see prayers being answered for her in many different ways.  That being said, she has had an incredibly tough go of it lately - and had to make choices that I will continue to admire. She gave it all over to God, and let him guide the situation to closure - and her thirst for life is amazing.

She inspires me to look deeper into my faith and to always remember that I am nothing without my Lord and Savior. She is with me every step of the way - thank goodness she introduced me to G-chat several months ago! Lately, an incredible love of all things crochet have taken over in her world - and I'm so thrilled to know that our baby will someday be the proud owner of the first blanket she's ever made. The one thing that someday she'll have to teach me the art of is shopping for a bargain. I tend to be the woman that runs into the store knowing exactly what I need - and grab it and go. I have zero patience for hunting for a bargain - but then again - I haven't had my own personal bargain shopping Yoda there to teach me. (I am a young grasshoppa ready to learn!)

Jenn is incredibly silly, and is so quick to make herself the punch-line of a joke. I'll never forget the day that I fell out of my chair at work laughing at her unfortunate fashion choice... that she posted for the world to see on her blog - and actually tried to defend. HA! (Love you girl!) She just has a general love of all things that I find inspirational - and I hope to get to have the fortunate opportunity to spend some time with this lovely lady on this side of Heaven. She is also waiting for a baby miracle of her own - and I pray daily that God will grant her that wish above all the others that he is working out for her right now.

Another friend, Summer - man... I'd love to see some answered prayers for her right now. She needs it so much. I want it for her. I need to see this happen for her. I beg and plead with God to give her peace and comfort through the storm.

Summer has had a rough week, her third IVF treatment didn't take - and her three little birds have gone to be with Jesus instead of getting to grow and thrive with Summer and Mr. B. It is often hard to reconcile why these things happen to the most wonderful people. I have felt the pain that Summer is feeling - I wake up every day with my arms empty right now too. There is nothing like that when you have a desperate desire in your heart to be a parent. I can honestly say that I have been given the grace, comfort, and peace within my own struggle to know that it is not a matter of IF but more of WHEN.

Summer is a beautiful woman with a wonderfully warm heart, and a silly spirit that constantly makes me smile. Whether she's looking at bacon images and sending me scandalous pictures - or she's sharing her obsession with mustaches with the world... her zest for life is amazing... and I hope that she'll rub off on me somehow.

I know deep down in my heart that Summer WILL without any doubt in my mind become a mother - and she will be a fantastic mommy to her babies... they will certainly have a beautiful soul to guide them through and exciting life in New York City, while teaching them about her southern Louisiana roots - read southern manners. I'm pretty sure those kiddos will have a crazy love of fleur de lis, mustaches, bacon, bubble tea, stationary, fashion, all things Etsy, and all things LSU.

Somehow between Summer and Jenn (with the help of a few of their close friends) they will break me down and make me get over my irrational fear of talking on the phone. I don't know where that started, but literally - Summer can give you all a clear image of this... but I've gotten to a point where I'll even ask her to not answer the phone so that I can leave her a message. I've GOT to get over this somehow - especially before April... when I'm supposed to meet some of the most wonderful women in the world in Austin... every bone in my body is excited about that, but I know myself too well - and when the time comes - I'll become the skiddish person that I really am and will try everything in the book to back out. I don't want to do that - but I know myself. Someone will have to force me to do it - and then I'll love every minute of it - but someone has to force me outside of my comfort zone.

I sometimes feel like I am an inadequate friend - and I felt the need to share with Jenn & Summer how much they mean to me. I pray for them daily, and would give both of my arms to make sure that they both have every desire in their hearts. I would wait as long as it takes for my miracle if it meant that I could see both of them get their wish first.

I have met several other incredible women (Christy, Becky, Bonnie, and Kristen to name a few)  through these two ladies - I consider them to be the first of my ladies that I met and got close to outside of my original girls (the Cut & Paste girls - who I miss as they have all fallen off the planet lately!)

It is funny because I went to a University where a lot of people talk about how people that haven't experienced the culture there wouldn't ever understand it... and I think that blogging is very similar. Unless you've done it and met some of the other incredible women out there that have shared experiences... you just can't conceptualize what the bonds are like. We are different women on our blogs often - we are able to share things that in our everyday lives we might keep bottled up from the world... but somehow we've found a common place to let those things out, bare our souls, and support each other. For that, I will forever be grateful.

Much love bloggy friends!!

Copyright © 2007-2010 Thoughts By Kim. The content on these pages, including text and images are the sole property of the author unless otherwise noted. All rights reserved.


  1. Wow, seriously. Are you OUT for tears, this morning? Sheesh, woman! :)

    I don't even know what to say...I truly don't. I try to explain how blogging is so much more than words on a computer screen, but that it reaches into lives and relationships are born. But I guess unless you live it, you never quite understand it.

    I am SO thankful to have found you! I truly do consider you not only a CLOSE friend, but a sister who I absolutely adore and love. Your life is a part of my life now and I am forever yours.

    That God saw fit to use modern technology to pair us up is one of God's many mysterious ways, but I am so very grateful that He transcends distance, different states and even your fear of gabbing on the phone! {wink}

    I love you, Kim. I can't wait to finally meet you and smother your baby in kisses from Aunt Jenn! Because we KNOW God is faithful and He will complete the work He has begun. Right?! Right!

    And Summer, I'm sending you all sorts of hugs and shared tears, my sweet. You're not going this alone. Heaven's phones are ringing off the hook with prayers for you..

    Much love, my sweet ladies!

    Jenn (aka JLI)

    PS - isn't it funny how I say "I don't know what to say, I truly don't", then as it turns out, I had ALL THIS to say? Silly me!

  2. Hey girl!
    What a sweet post! You're making me cry! The relationships I've formed through blogging have amazed me...I don't know what I would do without them. Summer and Kristen are among my closest friends in the world and to think if I hadn't one day decided to start a blog we never would have met is crazy!
    So nice to meet you now! See? It just keeps getting better! :)

  3. If anyone was meant to be a mama it's summer. She is the sweetest soul and clearly has mucho love to give munchkins. I have a feeling 2010 is going to be the Browns' year. God has been hearing that prayer from me a lot!

  4. Girl, you are obviously a WONDERFUL friend!

    Let me just say that although I have 2 beautiful little boys, I was diagnosed with uterine cancer at a very young age. I had one child, but was told it was pretty much impossible for me to have more. So much so that they wanted to do a hysterectomy. I refused. I suffered multiple miscarriages and was continuously told I would have no more kids.

    With years of prayer, patience, and Faith, I was blessed with my miracle baby boy in November of 2008.

    So anyway, God has a plan, regardless of the circumstances. So hopefully, your friend will become the mommy she deserves to be soon. Patience is the hard part. :)


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