Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Cascading Downhill

Today's meeting in a word: Rocked!

Being that I was on my own today - I was more nervous than I had been before the first meeting. That is until we got in there and started talking. These folks are just amazing - I mean instant family... and we are very much a part of their family now.

Today's meeting was all about my childhood and our marriage. The questions weren't hard like the day before they were more like: 
About my relationships with my parents.
How will I be different from them?
Who is the most influential person in your life?
Rate your marriage on a scale of 0-10.
How could it be better?
Describe your spouse with 5 adjectives.
What do you typically fight about?

Things like that, and then we had lots of time to talk about my readiness for the baby. She asked if I was ready for this to happen sooner rather than later, and I emphatically answered - YES! I couldn't be more ready for this to move forward like that - which doesn't mean that I'm not just as terrified and scared as I am excited and ready.

I see it as being like pregnancy - is there a pregnant woman out there that doesn't question if she's truly ready for the life change that is about to happen?

We talked more about the reality of not having anyone else hold the baby for the first two weeks that we have them... and about wearing the baby in a sling a lot of that time so that he/she gets used to being near my body - after being in someone else's body for 9 months.

I had a lot of questions about the birth mothers and their recovery - because that's what I worry about the most. I know in my heart that we'll be good parents, and love this baby unconditionally - the one unknown is how the birth mother will recover and heal from the process of giving her baby to us. I am confident though that if she's open to the help that our agency is willing to provide - they will be able to help her come a long way.

One thing that was brought up in this meeting was that when we meet her for the first time - we should bring her some flowers... as an ice breaker - it sort of lightens the mood for everyone in a very intense initial introduction. Then again when we go to the placement - people give the birth mother a gift. She suggested a locket where a photo of the baby can be placed... or something sentimental like that - I'd love to hear what you guys would think would be a great gift. Something meaningful and special...

What would you think of getting in our situation?