Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Cascading Downhill

Today's meeting in a word: Rocked!

Being that I was on my own today - I was more nervous than I had been before the first meeting. That is until we got in there and started talking. These folks are just amazing - I mean instant family... and we are very much a part of their family now.

Today's meeting was all about my childhood and our marriage. The questions weren't hard like the day before they were more like: 
About my relationships with my parents.
How will I be different from them?
Who is the most influential person in your life?
Rate your marriage on a scale of 0-10.
How could it be better?
Describe your spouse with 5 adjectives.
What do you typically fight about?

Things like that, and then we had lots of time to talk about my readiness for the baby. She asked if I was ready for this to happen sooner rather than later, and I emphatically answered - YES! I couldn't be more ready for this to move forward like that - which doesn't mean that I'm not just as terrified and scared as I am excited and ready.

I see it as being like pregnancy - is there a pregnant woman out there that doesn't question if she's truly ready for the life change that is about to happen?

We talked more about the reality of not having anyone else hold the baby for the first two weeks that we have them... and about wearing the baby in a sling a lot of that time so that he/she gets used to being near my body - after being in someone else's body for 9 months.

I had a lot of questions about the birth mothers and their recovery - because that's what I worry about the most. I know in my heart that we'll be good parents, and love this baby unconditionally - the one unknown is how the birth mother will recover and heal from the process of giving her baby to us. I am confident though that if she's open to the help that our agency is willing to provide - they will be able to help her come a long way.

One thing that was brought up in this meeting was that when we meet her for the first time - we should bring her some flowers... as an ice breaker - it sort of lightens the mood for everyone in a very intense initial introduction. Then again when we go to the placement - people give the birth mother a gift. She suggested a locket where a photo of the baby can be placed... or something sentimental like that - I'd love to hear what you guys would think would be a great gift. Something meaningful and special...

What would you think of getting in our situation?


  1. I was given a beautiful gold cross from James Avery by Cheri and Stan. I still have it and it reminds me of the love that they have for me and Jesus!

  2. A cross or a locket would both be beautiful! James Avery makes some beautiful pieces in his mother's love collection too. http://secure.jamesavery.com/jewelry/search/product/CM-1669/Mothers-Love-Pendant/ I'm a little confused about one thing though...maybe I missed a post but what do you mean not having anyone hold him until after 2 weeks?

  3. This is going to sound lame where I heard the idea, but on that MTV show, 16 and Pregnant, the adopting mom gave the birth mother a charm bracelet (with charm) and she had one for herself just like it and one that she would eventually give to the baby since they all three shared a common 'link.' I guess that might only work if the baby were a girl...In continuing with Danielle's theme, James Avery has a charm called "Mother's Love" that seems fitting.

  4. That's great to hear. I love James Avery they have the most beautiful charms that would be a great gift. An engraved frame would be nice too.

  5. You really do have a great blog here. I have a blog myself which brings inspiration and guidance to people all around the world. Life is hard enough, and I hope my site can contribute anything positive to someone's day.

    I'd like to exchange links with you to help spread some traffic around between each other. Please let me know if this is possible. Until then, keep up the good work.


  6. Hi,
    I found you from Summer (B is for Brown), I just love her by the way.....
    I really like your blog....
    I have heard lots that people give bracelets with a cross charm to the birth mother....

    I'm off to become a follower now....Looking forward to reading about you....
    Summer :0)

  7. It seems as though you have really great ideas from other folks who've already commented.

    I was thinking of something that would incorporate the birthstone of the baby...

  8. I think a thoughtful gift like the locket, or rememberance jewelry would definitely be nice. This is just me, but along with the gift I would also write a heartfelt letter to the birth-mother, letting truly know what she has done for you and John, and how she will/has change(d) your lives forever. And IF she ever has a day where she may have regrets about her choice, she can refer to you letter and know that what she chose to do was with great purpose.


Thank you so much for your comments. I really enjoy getting feedback on my writing!