Sunday, January 17, 2010

Glad That is Over

I know that from time to time, you guys have bad days too -for some reason right now, mine seem to be coming in rapid succession. I have to say that I'm tired of it - and it does nothing more than make me want to retreat into my house and not ever leave!

Friday was one of those days that just took the cake... I mean B.A.D. The events of the day when piled together into a complete series of events - caused me to only be able to laugh because if I didn't laugh... I surely would have been reduced to tears.

What happened you might ask?

Well.... let me tell you!

It started out with a work situation. So, most of you know I'm exactly thrilled about my job... but we have a campaign to raise money for an organization that gives us funding. If we meet our goal and get 100% participation - then we get a free vacation day.

We met our goal for this year - and I need to take Monday off... for the final home study appointment for our adoption. So I emailed my boss who is out sick, and her boss (the VP) just to let them know and ask if I could use my free day.

The VP literally calls me in to her office to tell me that she shouldn't allow me to use it because I didn't give enough money. She literally said to me: "You are paid a lot, so we expect you to give a lot. People in this organization who make less than you and HAVE kids - gave more than you did."

Oh yeah, well - do you know anything about my life? My finances? MY fertility treatments that were NOT covered by medical insurance, at all? My adoption expenses?

You might be surprised to know that I actually did talk to her about the questions from above... and she literally looked at me and said, "Yeah, someone mentioned that back when we were looking at the gifts each person gave... but it's still not acceptable." So, you mean to tell me that at some point - a group of people sat around a table to talk about what everyone gave and why? Really?! Does that seem immoral to anyone else?

I did the absolute most that I could at the time - I gave everything I had, and then some because there are little fundraisers that go on through each department for like 2-3 weeks. So I gave my gift of whatever cash I had on me at the time, and then participated in the other events... which I guess in total - I could have written the check for that and been done with it, but I chose to participate as much as possible in the various events instead.

The issue is really that she thinks she looks bad because my gift wasn't a payroll deduction gift that looks like more than it is, but we don't do payroll deduction pledges. We just don't.

I don't feel like I should have to defend my financial choices and decisions to anyone other than John and God... but apparently she felt differently.

Ya'll - it was certainly a lesson in restraint - because never in my life have I wanted to just pick up my stuff and walk out on a job. NEVER. IN. MY. LIFE.

So that happened shortly before lunchtime, and miraculously - the day went on fairly quickly... so at least the torture wasn't allowed to stew inside me for an endless amount of time - and thanks to John,  Jenn, Summer, Trace, Jennifer, Jillian, Danielle, and several others for your love and support during the aftermath of the situation covered above.

So, 4 o'clock hits... and it's time to go home. I go out to my car, pull out of the parking lot, go about a block down the street... and notice that my check tire pressure light is on. UGH! It's raining, windy and cold... so I made the decision to drive it to the nearest gas station before pulling over to look at the tires.

I get to the gas station, and pull up under the cover - it was a large gas station with about 20 different pumps - so I pulled up in between two pumps where it was dry ground. I get out and both tires on the driver's side looked fine... so I was thinking that it was going to be fine and that the tires just needed a little air because of the cold weather. When I walked around the other side of the car, I saw that the back tire on the passenger's side was completely flat.

So I called John, I was on my way to pick him up at the time... and he got one of his coworkers to drive him over to where I was to help me.

Sad thing, while I was waiting for him...I was going to try to get the tire changing started, but I am completely outside of my knowledge base when it comes to that. I placed all of the supplies out and started trying to figure it out, but couldn't.

The worse part was that I live in TEXAS, and we're supposed to be all friendly, southern, and helpful... to everyone, but especially damsels in distress - right?

Of all the men that came in and out of that gas station - not a single one offered to help a young woman in her work clothes change a tire... they just kept on with their own stuff and never even ASKED if I needed help.

The only person that talked to me during the time I was waiting for John was a lady that wanted gas money. She kept on and on about needing gas money, but all I had on me was my credit cards. I didn't have any cash - or I probably would have given her some. I felt bad for her - because she had scrubs on like she was going to work at a hospital... but I just didn't have any money to give her at the time.

John (my knight in shining armor) gets there within about 20-30 minutes, and changes the tire pretty quickly. We were on our way again by about 5. It was an inside blowout - which we've now had happen to the tires that came on that car like 3 times... or well, we replaced one with the same tire - so it has happened to two of the original tires, and one replacement!

The final cap on the day was the lovely commute home in the rain... that took TWO hours!! It put me over the edge, so we picked up some Mexican food for dinner - and brought it home. I pretty much went to bed quickly after we ate... because I just couldn't deal with anymore "fun" for the day.

Thank goodness - I followed that day up with an amazing day full of a baby shower with old friends, and a ladies night out with some dear new friends... we had a lot of our friends that couldn't come last night, but the four of us that were there laughed and had a GREAT time together. I hope that we'll have many more of these nights... and lots of girl time together.


  1. It's really disturbing that you're judged based on your giving. If that's the case, it's not giving, it's bribery! Give more, get more??

  2. I've never heard of such a situation in my life! Is it even legal for an employee to be harassed about their "charitable" giving? At least you had a good day Saturday. Hope you got a lot of stuff that you needed!

  3. I agree! The VP was completely out of line. Giving is just that..."giving." Not mandatory. And your participation probably raised more money that it would have if you had just given more. You should've asked your boss if they needed an itemized list of your tithes at church too so maybe you could qualify. I would have my "feelers" out for jobs if I were you. If you decide for teacher certification let me know. Mine was actually out of Houston. I started class June 6 and started my first job on Aug 20th.

  4. Wow, I am shocked that a company would judge you based on the amount of $ you give for donations, charities, etc., and then to call you out on it.... WOW that is CRRRRAAAZZZY!
    I am with Meghan it sounds like bribery to me.... give more, get more?? Give less, get ridiculed....

    What a BAD DAY.... I can't believe no-one asked to help you change your tire....
    Glad you had fun girls night out....
    Hang in there
    Summer :0)

  5. So sorry you have had to go through this. I agree with Meghan's comments - it is deeply disturbing and wrong on many levels. God has great plans for you, my friend. Hang in there!

  6. "Wow...that makes me so angry!! It really sounds like a hostile workplace sort of situation. If it was me, I'd probably put in an anonymous call to the DOL to find out what my rights are. Make sure you are documenting these things - they have no right to judge your personal financial situation like that, or threaten to change a company policy just in your case (ie, that if conditions a and b are met, that everyone but Kim gets a day off, because Kim gave less than everyone). Who knows what those other folks have at home - spouses that bring in a high salary, no medical expenses, lower living is not your employer's place to evaluate your finances!!! "

    Jennifer D.


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