Saturday, October 16, 2010

Reflections on October

It might seem early to be reflecting on the month, but I'd have to say that it has been a VERY eventful 17 days for our family... so I'm gonna go out on a limb and reflect. I just would love to get my thoughts down for me to look back on someday... so we'll make my friend Meghan happy and go bullet style too!

  • It's funny to me how I cried a lot on the morning before Tyler's birth - but not because I was scared about the operation... but because it was the last time that it was just going to be the three of us... James wasn't going to be the only baby anymore.
  • Along with those tears - I had some serious guilt about James not having a couple of years of being the only child in the family... but then again, he has an instant playmate growing up just behind him.
  • When going to the hospital to have a baby - be prepared for anything to happen... from getting a whacked out nurse... to your baby potentially having to go to the NICU. Of course, I would never wish that on anyone - BUT prepare for the worst, and pray for the best... then it won't be as big of a shock as I had. 
  • If that were to happen - it is good to have a husband that is your constant advocate... I wouldn't have seen Tyler until roughly 18 hours after his birth if it weren't for John convincing them to wheel my recovery bed into the NICU on the way to my hospital room. 
  • Trust your instincts - I tend to let the nurses and doctors railroad me a bit - I noticed it in the NICU the most... because I knew that Tyler needed to be completely unwrapped to eat his bottles best... but I let them over-ride that sometimes and cover him up - only to prove my point when he fell asleep during the feeding.
  • The best possible thing you can do for your baby is to be there constantly and consistently - no matter what the birthing situation. Once we started being with Tyler almost around the clock - he made his most drastic improvements. It is by design that babies are instantly comforted by their parents... and in their comfort comes their best healing and development. They are absolutely without a doubt comforted by hearing your voice, hearing your heartbeat, and being near the people they have listened to for the weeks leading up to their birth. 
  • I firmly believe that for Tyler - being close to me is sort of like giving him a heavy dose of a narcotic... he instantly crashes into the best sleep whenever he's resting in my arms. 
  • Sometimes you have to swallow your pride and let people help you... I didn't want to do it, but getting help with putting James to bed at night allowed for one of us to be there for Tyler when he needed it most and the other to be with James so that his world remained as normal as it possibly could during a very crazy time for all of us.
  • Even when things seem like they are their worst... the smile from a child can make it all better. On the days when my hormones were at their highest levels of def-com 5... a smile from James put it all back in perspective. 
  • Blaming yourself doesn't help - hindsight is always better - and really... all you can do is accept whatever happens and deal with it. That doesn't mean that it's easy by any means... but what else can you do? I spent a lot of time blaming myself for Tyler's rough start in life... and all it did was serve to make me even crazier, and not a very effective comfort to Tyler when he needed it.
  • Mothering a newborn is MUCH easier when you're not THREE months pregnant! Oh my gosh, I can't even put enough emphasis on that... even after a c-section... I have to say that it's not nearly as overwhelming or exhausting. (it might help that Tyler seems to be a little bit more easy going than James was...)
  • When you're in pain and about to deliver a baby... it doesn't matter what they want to do to you in the hospital... you'll pretty much let them. I can honestly say that the c-section was not NEARLY as bad as I thought it might be. There were a couple of days that I was sore when getting around at first, but even that wasn't as bad as I might have thought. It was more uncomfortable and annoying than anything else. 
  • I was scared to death to bring Tyler home after his breathing problems and things that went on in the NICU... nervous about what could happen and the lack of monitoring. After being able to watch your baby's heart rate, breathing rate, and oxygen saturation levels for 11 days - you get a comfort by knowing exactly how he is doing. Now, we just have to trust God to make sure that he doesn't have any more issues. 
  • I absolutely haven't taken care of myself as much as I should be in the healing process, but I had some pretty hefty distractions from that... but I'd say that things on that front are going well regardless. 
  • Mothering your second child is easier than the first time around - you are just more at ease and comfortable with each thing that comes. At least I know that I am, and part of that comes with not being pregnant... but also just having a bit more confidence in knowing what to try. 
  • Each child is different, and it is fun to discover their little personalities... 
  • Somehow neither of the boys even batted an eye when their father screamed at the television during a certain football game today! I guess it's just in the genetic makeup of a male... 
  • I have lost 31 pounds in the 12 days since Tyler's birth... so I can honestly say that I was right all along... I was not a pregnant eating machine... I was a water retaining machine! I've still got some significant swelling left to get rid of... as well as some regular weight to loose as well.
  • We have certainly been blessed richly in 2010... we call James "Our greatest gift" and we call Tyler "Our little miracle"... it's amazing that in 6 months - I've grown to love 2 tiny men with a fierce intensity that I didn't think was possible. It's incredible to love someone so much before you even meet them. With both boys - I had that experience... I was in love before I ever even saw them.


  1. I totally agree about the second child being easier for all the reasons you mentioned.

    I've never had a child in NICU but can definitely see that a baby needs contact with the parents (and/or sibling in cases of multiples) to make a strong, faster recovery.

    I'm so glad you and Tyler are doing well and that you're all home together now. :)

  2. Yay bullets! Wow, what a month already! Soaking up your advice like a sponge!


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