Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Strangely Calm

Alright, so I'm a week away from a HUGE cross country move - of which I've never experienced before. I've lived all but 6 months of my life within the borders of the state of Texas... so the mid-south (or whatever) will certainly be a bit of a culture shock. So, you'd think I'd be freaking out and stressing over all of this, right?

Am I in some sort of denial? I don't know... all I know is that I've made some peace with it, and after 6 months (or darn close to it!) of being without my husband for the work week... because he has been working in TN for that long - I'm ready to get this show on the road. Ready for my family to be together. To set some routines. To have a partner in crime again - someone to give me the liberty of a bubble bath after a long day full of whining and fussy babies.

Today has been one of those days, the kind of day where a Momma Hawk needs a break. Or a stiff drink! Since I don't drink... a break is about all I could hope for. I don't know what's going on with the boys today... must be teething issues on both fronts... because they've been equally fussy all day. The only thing that makes them happy is a meal and a nap. Even at that - they both were in bed for the night at 7... but I've had to go and put them both back to bed after each of them waking up crying at one point over the last couple of hours. Poor kids - I wish teething didn't have to be so miserable for everyone.

All of that being said - this motherhood gig can be tough. I've now experienced just about most of the world of parenting options - I've done the working mother gig, the stay at home mom gig, and essentially the single parent gig... and just for the record - John hates it when I say that. I'm most certainly not single... BUT Monday through Friday since January - I've been doing it on my own... so I know what it is like to raise kiddos without a partner for at least part of the time.

I for the life of me can't see any of the options as being easier than the other. It's all tough, totally worth it... but tough. If you're working - you've got to rely on someone trustworthy to take care of the kiddos during the day while you do the 9-5 job... but then you have to go home and do all of the parenting, cooking, cleaning, and anything else.

Staying at home might seem to some as the easy way out - but there are no sick days, no vacation days... a lot of sweat and tears... crying and sometimes you just long for another adult to talk to for a few minutes. Sure, you have your family as your sole focus... which is a beautiful thing... but it can be equally as hard as working outside of the home.

Good Lord, single parenting is just rough any way you look at it. Presumably most single parents would have to work outside of the home... then go home and be both mother and father to the kids.

Parenting is tough no matter the situation, but boy is it rewarding. Not exactly what I expected, but a wonderful adventure that I'm so ready to share day to day with my husband again. So for that reason, I'm ready for all of this. And it doesn't hurt that they're sending me a crew to pack up the house... and then I've got a crew meeting me on the other side to help with the unpacking as well. Praise the Lord!
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