My emotions since being in the hospital are really all over the map. Throw in these migraines, and I'm a complete mess. Mainly -- I would think no one notices it except for me, other than the fact that I've pretty much dropped out of society.
I don't want to do anywhere or be around people much at all. I mainly stick to the folks that share my last name right now because I'm ashamed of my feelings and entire ordeal. I mean lets face it folks -- it's a wake up call of sorts and a very scary one. Could it have been worse? Sure. However, I would say that anytime your brain goes nuts and you can't speak for any amount of time - it's enough to scare you into the ER.
I'm not sure how to break back into normal. Maybe I'm not supposed to? Maybe this is a call to give up some things and refocus on others... there really isn't a way to know for sure. I think for now, if I'm not 100% interested in an activity -- I think I'll skip it and do something else.
I will figure it all out eventually. For now, I'm just waiting for my follow up appointment with the neurologist. It was moved back to the 21st-- so we'll have to see what she says in terms of the migraines and if we need further testing on my small blood vessels.