Hi there! I'm stopping by today to tell you a little bit about me... First, my name is Kim and I'm the author behind Faith Grace & Giggles - where things can be funny, crazy, and messy... but we do our best to keep it real.
I am a Christian. Wife. Mother.
Daughter. Sister. Sister in Law. Aunt. Friend. Weight Loss Surgery
survivor. Infertility survivor. Adoptive Mother. Former NICU parent. Writer. Stay at Home Mother. Scentsy Consultant. Stella & Dot Stylist. Cook. Baker. Reader. Photographer.
Pet Lover. Retired Database Manager. and Social Media junkie. The last
one is really a means of outlet because I spend 80% of my day with two
littles that don't talk much yet.
November is National
Adoption Month, and a blog post has been floating around in my head for a
while... I just wasn't quite sure of the format that I was going to
take to get the words out. Insert, Twitter a week or so ago... and it
all fell into place.
I happened upon a post that
mentioned adoption... and it actually set my blood to boiling instantly.
Not at the person that posted it, but just the whole situation behind
the tweet. This particular Twitter friend of mine had an encounter with a
friend who adopted two children. Lets call my friend Robin, and her
friend that adopted Susan.
Robin was commenting about
her disgust for a comment that Susan made... so I had to hear the back
story. Basically, Susan has infertility problems - I don't make light of
this in any way, but want to keep the story to the basics so that I can
get to my thoughts and point. She (Susan) adopted two kids, but still
struggles greatly with wanting to have a biological child of her own.
She has really deep jealousy issues with people that get pregnant around
her, which is where Robin started having problems with her. Susan
reacted very badly to Robin getting pregnant and caused their friendship
to crumble. When I say reacted badly - it's an understatement.
Somewhere along the way, Susan informed Robin that "People just don't understand. When you adopt your children, it just isn't the same."
It was at that moment, this post came together in my mind... I knew what
I wanted to say. I firmly believe that Susan has a lot to learn about
what it means to be a mother. I can't say for sure if it is just the
extraordinary supernatural circumstances around our adoption process...
or the training that we got from the 3 amazing ladies at the agency
itself, but NEVER once have I ever thought of adoption as a lesser
choice for becoming a parent. It was never a "back up plan" for me.
You see, I have always wanted to be a mother. How that happened for me
was of no consequence - pregnancy, adoption... fall from the sky... I
never cared HOW we became parents. I just knew in my heart that we were
meant to be parents. Additionally, I am saddened at the idea of this
woman ever having a biological child - because I couldn't imagine the
hurt and pain that the different love would cause for the two beautiful
kids she currently has.
We suspected there was a slight
possibility that I might be pregnant before we went to the hospital on
James' birth day, but I loved him so
much already - I couldn't bring myself to even consider that until he
was at home with us. I had the unique experience of adopting and being
pregnant at the same time... and can honestly say, both were beautiful
experiences. The day that we met James - just minutes after his birth
was truly magical... from the instant we saw him - we knew he was ours
and that we were chosen to be his parents. John and I were head over
heels for this precious little boy from the moment we met his birth
mother, truly. I love her as a part of our family too... and wish that
our relationship with her was as close as we hoped it would be on the
day we met her. She has forever changed our family, and with the open
nature of our adoption - I wish someday to be able to connect with her
Forty-eight hours later, we signed the papers on
our adoption and brought our son home. During the night, on our first
night home - I took the pregnancy test. I think to a certain extent, I
was in denial about Tyler growing inside of me for a long time. I had a
rough pregnancy, but never once did it overshadow or take away from the
joy and love that I had in being James' mother.
remember getting the call the Friday evening before Tyler was born that
he'd arrive on Monday because of complications - and all I could think
about that entire weekend was James. Would he get enough attention?
Would he know that he was loved? Was I short-changing him because he
wasn't going to have a good solid amount of time being the only child?
The guilt was staggering. Just as God has his hands all over our boys
coming into our family in their unique ways... he had his hands on all
of us through this process.
We have never looked back.
Our situation is unique to be sure, but it is beautiful. Our family is a
creation that we could have never planned for ourselves - but it is a
product of YEARS of prayer and in the end - a beautiful creation because
we gave up trying to have it come together because of our control, but
allowing Him to work his will.
Today, I am asked
constantly when we are out in public if the boys are twins. I feel
compelled to say that they aren't. Occasionally, women put together that
it's pretty much impossible to have children 6 months apart... but IF I
choose to explain that adoption is part of our story - I don't indicate
which of the boys is adopted. Sometimes, even I forget. They are both
every bit a part of me, they are my sons... and I don't love them them
any differently for the way they came into our lives. They are both a
part of me in every way. My kids are mine, and are equal in every way... they are
both a part of me no matter what their story is.