Wednesday, April 23, 2008


I have a confession to make, and really - it's something I've been struggling with for a while... I fell off the wagon on the workout front. I was on such a roll, but then got sick... and haven't been able to get back on track since.

Don't get me wrong, I understand how important it is. I really want to do it, but my body just isn't cooperating right now. I have really been feeling very lethargic lately, and am unsure about what's happening...

I'm going in to give all my samples of blood tomorrow morning on my way in to the office. It's getting inside of a month from my six month check up with my surgeon, and that means a visit to my PCP first. So maybe he can shed some light on what's happening with my crazy (lack of) energy level.

I've got to get in gear though - I'm halfway through this first year... and I really need this next 6 months to be the same if not better in the rate of weight loss department. I'm not completely tied into hitting a certain number on my weight... but I do want to get as low as I possibly can before my first year is over.

It's no secret that my big goal is to have a child, and I'm not the picture of patience... so the sooner the better for me. We're not getting any younger, and have been waiting for an addition to our family for 6 years... I just want us to be able to enjoy our children... and then enjoy our grandchildren and retirement. This is totally my impatience, and my need to know that I'm actually destined to be a mother - like I believe I am.

I sometimes struggle with being patient and waiting for God's plan to come to fruition, and believe me - I'm working on that... but in the mean time - I've got to get in gear and get to working out.

Maybe I focus to much on the big global picture and creating a habit, and not enough on the day to day... I don't know. I think in some way - my demons about being perfect are creating some of the problems. Someone at the hospital told me that I should work out at the beginning of the day before I eat anything, and if that doesn't happen for whatever reason (mainly because I can't get myself out of bed) it makes me feel like I've lost a day and then I just give up. Sort of like when I'd diet before the surgery, give in to some sort of temptation... resulting in some sort of cheating the program... then I'd feel completely defeated... and I'd fall off the wagon bigger than I'd ever done before.

But something has got to give... anyone want to be my accountability partner? (I'm even open to having several!!) To check on my daily progress? To see if I worked out each day or not? To guilt me into getting up on the bike if I didn't make it in the morning? Be an angel by motivating me with emails, articles, or anything else that will keep me moving in the right direction and not focusing on the insignificant details?


  1. I was wondering about your working out. I think habits are key. I will be your accountability partner. I could use one too. I am trying to get to Jazzercise three days per week and that is SO hard.

  2. I think getting your labs done will be a great starting point as it does seem like something is going on there with your lack of energy.

    In the past, I have found exercise to be a very delicate habit. It is one I always have to focus on for several weeks before it actually becomes habit and then all one need do it blow on it for it to be broken. The key, at least I'm hoping when I get to that point, is to find something I enjoy doing; aerobics, swimming, biking, something! If you don't enjoy what you are doing to some extent, it's going to be hard to stick to.

    I'll try to help with your accountability, though I may not be the best one yet, until I am a bit better healed, but you know I'll always help you out anyway I can.

  3. I'll be your partner! But you know what else is good? I always find the "Did you move to lose today?" thread over at the main message board. Once I read what everyone else has done to exercise, I'm psyched to do it too! Plus I get great ideas over there (not that I actually implement any of them...). Maybe that thread could give some daily motivation??

  4. Trying again...It's not as good as the original (no thanks to Blogger!), but it's just as sincere! :)

    You might talk to Vicki for some motivation...she's a great fitness encourager and will definitely hold you accountable.

    I will too, but would love to have you do the same for me. I've been feeling very lazy and unmotivated lately, but I need to move and keep up my routine.

    I will also say (if you don't mind me saying this, since I haven't gone through this process as you have), it takes more than just a habit takes a change of mind set.

    While I was growing up, all my mother ever did was complain about being fat, but she never exercised (she didn't like to sweat) and she ate as much food as my dad did...he's at least a foot taller than she is. And then she'd look at me and comment on my thinness and say things like, "You're so can eat whatever you want" (never mind that I was very active and involved in sports). So somewhere, she got it in her head that you were stuck with whatever body you were born with.

    That was dangerous thinking for us both, because she never learned to change her habits, and I thought that it didn't matter what I did or ate. And then I went to college where food was in abundance (thanks to Aggie Bucks and "Segreasa") and my only activity was standing at football games. I found my "freshman 15" and then some.

    Reality hit me like a ton of bricks...I was just like my mom and I didn't know how to help myself. And I was so depressed. My self esteem dropped as drastically as my weight went up.

    Then I met a girl during summer school my junior year who had just lost a bunch of weight and was fit and healthy.

    She mentored me in creating new habits, but also in a new way of thinking: most people who are thin, or fit, or whatever, are that way because they work for it. No one can eat whatever they want and not worry about it. No one can NOT exercise and be in shape.

    I finally got my act together and began working for it. I've never gotten back to where I was (and I'm okay with that, since I'll never be a teenager again anyway!) but I'm so much healthier now. I make better choices; my heart is stronger, and so is my self-esteem. And I'm appreciative of where I am.

    My mom got this same lesson through her weight-loss education and surgery. It forced her to change her habits and her thinking. (In fact, if you didn't know she'd had the surgery but heard her talking about her food, water and exercise and the scale, you'd think she was anorexic).

    Now, she doesn't have that tendency, so I'm not worried about that, but at least she's paying attention to what she is putting in (diet) and taking out (exercise) of her body.

    Surgery did her a world of good in forcing her to learn a new way of thinking. And of course she struggles with lack of motivation, busyness, fatigue, etc. But she just picks up where she left off...sometimes it's a struggle, but the bounce back is easier than you'd think. But she's thinking and acting like all those people she was jealous of her whole life. Little did she know that she could actually take control and change that part of her life. She just always thought she was doomed to be that way forever.

    I'm not sure where I was going with all of this, but I hope it was motivating and encouraging.

    I guess my point can be summed up like this:

    Surgery is your jump start to good health. You just have to gas up the car to make the engine run.

    Vroom, vroom! (that's car talk for go exercise!--and be sure to ask me if I exercised, too!!)


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