Well, that's how I felt yesterday at least... but it was completely for the best that I just walked out and didn't say anything back. I got the warning again via email first thing this morning... but I've chosen to be the bigger person (wow - it actually hurts to use that reference). I turned off my radio this morning on my way in to the office for a little while and prayed for patience, understanding, and faithfulness.
I prayed for patience and understanding to help me get through the day, but faithfulness for me to know that God has a better plan for me... and for him to help me in my struggle in the meantime. I even prayed for my two bosses... and I do have a little bit more of a sense of peace about yesterday.
Don't get me wrong - I'm still hurt and saddened by the fact that they like treating people that way, but as Donna said in her comment - it really is best to just not say anything and leave them guessing. The only problem with that is that my emotions are pretty transparent, and I know she knew how ticked off I was when I left her office yesterday. I guess the good thing is that I didn't say anything that I would regret or would cause further trouble...
When I told John about all that happened last night - he had to take a few seconds - sigh, and then reassure me that it's only for a little while longer. It always is amazing to watch (or listen - since it was over the phone) to him in his reactions... because no one else outside of my one friend here at the office knows more about the horrible way I've been treated for the last 3 years, besides John. I really think that if we didn't need the money - he'd have already come down here and given them a piece of his mind... but that's not really the answer either - he just wants to protect me... and honestly, that is so sweet.
After all of that - I did get called in this morning to hear about something I did right... but then the meeting finished with something else I screwed up. I guess that I can at least be thankful that I did one thing right...
In other areas of my life:
The stress of yesterday took it's toll on me food-wise... I picked up dinner for John and I from Chili's and ordered Chicken Crispers... WAY to much grease for me... I paid for it for the rest of the evening. I guess I still have a long way to go in beating out that trigger for me to eat things that aren't good for me... but at least I can watch for it now, and try to do something else instead of eat. A tip for my fellow WLS buddies - takeout is a really easy way to order smaller portions. I've found that I can order off of the kids menu when getting take out (normally from Luby's) but if they have any healthy choices - I order that and they never even ask if it's for a kid. (I typically have one other entree that is in the order because of John...)
I also heard back from the lady I asked to be my mentor, Lisa, and she said that she'd like to do it. So we're working out the details and will start meeting sometime soon... I think she's already picked out some stuff for me to work on - since I told her yesterday that her kids know more than I do. That's really true... her 4 year old quoted me some of Psalm 19 this weekend (I think it was 19), but I was so impressed. I honestly can't quote any scripture - I can recognize some verses that I've read in the past, but can't quote them from memory. I really barely even know any of the Bible stories - I know the biggies - Christmas, Easter, and Noah... so I'm excited to learn whatever she has in store for me.
I guess that is about it for my adventures to this point today - you never know when something is going to happen that you'll have to blog about though!! I do want to thank everyone for the kind words and comments about yesterday's mess - you guys are the best, and I don't know how I'd get through everyday without ya'll.