Monday, April 7, 2008

Could it be?

So according to Prevention Magazine's weight loss model... this is me at my beginning weight, current weight, and me at my goal weight. Can I just say that I don't think I look as good as the model of me currently (really didn't look as good as her when I started either!!)... but it's really hard to imagine me ever being like the third one!! I really can't tell much difference between the first two either... but I'm sure some of you can...

You know - something that is really hard for me - is imagining success in this process. I think that with years and years of diets and failures... I've been conditioned to think that my current weight is about the best it's ever going to get. Somewhere in there is hope that I could reach the bottom picture, but since I can't remember ever being thin... it's a stretch.

Seriously - even in Kindergarten - I was a chubby kid... so it was somewhere between ages 4 & 5 that this problem began, and it just compounded over the years... and I'm not complaining because - had I really been able to take it seriously at an earlier age - maybe it wouldn't have gotten to the point that it did with my health. Although, I might not have understood things in the same way if they had happened differently.

I don't know - I guess the craziness that I experienced during the first plateu is starting up again. I guess I just really thought that there would be periods when my body would be tricked into losing several pounds in a week, but that doesn't seem to be part of my plan. I'm again - not complaining - it just makes it that much harder to see the light at the end of the tunnel... or to imagine what things might be like at my goal... I still have 117 pounds to lose (give or take one or two) and it'll take me over 2 years to get there at this rate... which I thought I had surgery to speed this up, or at least that was part of it!

I just wanted to be farther down the road at this point - looking at the possiblilty of having a baby in 2009... and I know that it's still possible... but not as possible as being 100 pounds into this journey would be...

Okay, end of silly rant.

Tonight - I'm meeting with Lisa for our first session... so I'll have some stuff to blog about when I get home, and with the hubs watching the NCAA Championship tonight... I don't see a problem with getting it blogged.

1 comment:

  1. I hear ya....I started porking out at about six and have never been a really healthy weight since, so yes, it is really hard for me to even imagine being smaller! I look in the mirror now and try to imagine it and simply cannot.

    I don't know if you are still having problems with food or what you are eating, but a few WLS friends have told me that tightening up their carb intake helps with the plateus (oh heaven, or however you spell it!). That's going to be a hard one for me, as I love things like BREAD, but one day at a time. You'll push beyond this number; just be patient even though it is easier said than done!


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