Saturday, November 8, 2008

Open Letter - Smoker Guy

At some point in this past week - I referenced my irrational hatred of people having to wait on me... and how I may or may not breakout in hives in said situation... remember that as you read this one.

Dear Smoker Guy,

Thank you so much for making my Walmart experience so wonderful this morning... you truly are a man for others.

It's not enough that most of us in the store at 8 AM on a Saturday morning are there to do our weekly shopping at a time when we all can get in and out of the store a little quicker than if we'd waited until the middle of the day to do that. (I must admit that I'd rather take a beating than go to Walmart on a Saturday afternoon.)

At said time of the morning, there are limited options for the number of check out lines that are available... so yes, some of us end up in the 1 line you can go through to purchase your cancer sticks.

So what if the lady in front of me has $200 worth of yogurt, organic milk and kitty litter... her basket was over-flowing so she has some mad shopping skills, but for you to walk up behind me an loudly sigh because you'll have to wait 5 minutes to get your cigarettes is just a little rude, don't you think?

I didn't even have that much stuff - any other week you might have been forced to wait 8 minutes... oh the horror!

Now, even though you're in the store for one thing - which is going to kill you, I might add... I didn't judge you... I smiled at you and tried to act like I was sympathetic to your inconvenience...

But, when you took it to the next level - I couldn't help but notice that you acted like you were half drunk... and you had no teeth in your head.

Was it really necessary to call the manager over while I'm trying to get my groceries and pay my bill? Was it really in any one's best interests to stand there and throw a fit because the cigarette line isn't an express line?

You stood there and made the rest of us sound like horrible people because we had the nerve to go through the cigarette line to get groceries for our families... are you kidding me?

Then to add insult to injury - you stood behind my car to fumble with the cigarettes you did purchase and light one... while I sat there waiting to back out. Now, who is the real jerk in this situation?

Sincerely,
Wishes tobacco products could be outlawed
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