Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Focused Prayer

One of the most beautiful things that has come from being so incredibly open about our fertility struggle is the love and support that comes from the most unexpected places.

Whether it be friends from church that I'd never really been that close to... or a cousin that I haven't really kept in great contact with - short of the baby itself - the building/rediscovery of relationships has been amazing!

Shortly before I left for retreat one of my cousins, Kerry, suggested a book to me that has changed the lives of several people in her life, and well... if it has worked for all of them... it certainly couldn't hurt, right?

So, I did what any rational person would do... I made sure to have a copy of it on my retreat for those "down times" - you know the ones... the down times that never come when you're out having fun with a bunch of other ladies! Only I didn't actually have time to go get the book myself - so Renee went out and picked it up for me. (Which reminds me - I still need to pay her for it!!)

Little did I know that the book would really open my eyes to a myriad of things that I hadn't considered before. She suggested that I read Supernatural Childbirth by Jackie Mize...

This book is an easy read - I'm a slow reader and I finished it within 24 hours... it might be classified as charismatic in some ways, but there is good stuff in the message no matter how you choose to use it.
I don't want to take away from anyone else reading it and gaining their own information - but honestly - this has changed my life in some ways. I've learned about so many scriptures dedicated to this very topic... on mothering, conception, infertility... the whole spectrum. God didn't leave any of it to chance - it just took Jackie's book to point it out to me with another set of interpretation.
Through this book, I learned the concept that God meets us where our faith level is... for some people that might be a small thing because their faith is so great - for others it might be a huge miracle because their faith level might be below average. But if you believe it, pray about it, and keep moving forward - God is going to answer your prayers. (No one promises a specific timeline on those answers.)
The concept of prayer is now different to me as well. In the book they talk about prayer for a specific gender for a baby - like say if you had 3 boys and REALLY wanted a girl... the time to pray for that and make those requests is before pregnancy... not after. It's too late after conception - it is determined already... so make those requests known to God from the beginning. (On this John just about dropped to his knees praying for a boy...)
My specific journey is less about the gender right now, and more about becoming pregnant... with a healthy baby. My prayers are for God to give us a healthy pregnancy, healthy baby and a healthy Mommy (Me) - and from there the rest is gravy...
I've been having heart to heart talks with God since reading this book - telling him that I'm praying that he'll give us a pregnancy this month... I know that it's all in his plan, but we are to tell him the desires of our heart... and believe me... this is it! If you feel so inclined... I'd love for all of my readers to throw up a prayer for us over the next few days as we prepare to find out if the Clomid cycle did it's job... and if so what happens next.
I highly recommend this book to everyone out there that is still in the midst of building their family - whether you're thinking about starting a family somewhere at a destined time (Meg), in the same battle that I am... or if you get pregnant easily, but just want to know a little more about how to be prayerful about that time of your life.
I can assure you, no matter what you want or need to gain from this book - you won't regret for one section that you took the time to read it.


  1. Hmmm..I'm a little weirded out about praying for a specific gender. I mean, I get it. I just don't think I would do it. I guess I see it as "Why does gender matter?" Really, why? Is there anything about having a specific gender that more fully accomplishes the will of God, so much so that one would be inclined to ask in the first place? Isn't a child a full blessing by virtue of being a child given by God?

    I dunno...I guess I'm really hung up on that one point.

    By everything else you've said, the book is great and really puts the focus where it needs to be. And for you, my dear, if it gives you hope and helps focus your prayer during your journey, then I fully support it. You continue to have Todd's & my prayers.

  2. My prayers for you and John are ongoing, but I did just send one up for ya!

    I've heard of this book before, but I honestly probably wouldn't have read it because the cover looks so dated... but since it comes recommended by you, I'll be sure to read it in the next year or so!

  3. I read this book! Back when I was pregnant with our oldest and going through our Bradley method birth classes, our leader gave it to me to read. I thought it was really inspiring.

    And I can totally understand how you can pray for a specific gender. As a mother, I wanted to experience the wonders of raising both boys and girls. I grew up with just a brother, and always wanting a sister (in addition to him, not instead of him, of course!).

    When people say they desire either a boy or a girl, they aren't saying that one or the other is better, or that one will "more fully accomplish the will of God". They are saying, "You know what would be fun? Having 4 boys!" Or 4 girls, or 1 boy, or one of each, or 2 of each, or whatever. And some say, "You know what would be fun? A baby. Any baby." And both are correct. Because children are a blessing from the Lord, whether they are conceived in your womb or in your heart.

    And the truth of the matter is, we pray not to get what we want, but to obey His command to pray, and for Him to work in us.

    So pray. Pray, pray, pray. And be ready to be surprised by ALL of the blessings the Lord will bring you.

  4. You know, the thing about the gender thing (I am really tired so may only be semi-coherant), God knows so much better than we do. Scott really preferred having a boy because of various fears (how to deal with a girl, what about when she starts dating). I however was terrified of a boy. By the time we had her, we were both just grateful she was healthy.

    Next pregnancy, he wants a boy, and I am still terrified. Now I am so grateful that I got my boy. I still don't understand him, but I wouldn't replace him for any girl.


Thank you so much for your comments. I really enjoy getting feedback on my writing!