Thursday, May 21, 2009

Silly Things

So yesterday, Jenn wrote this post... which has left me wracking my brain to think of anything funny, endearing, entertaining, or remotely silly about my childhood. Believe it or not, I was amazingly boring! So I'm just going to write and see what comes to my brain...

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When I was about 5 or 6 - we lived in Brenham on a farm... we had horses and all that fun stuff... but we also had a 4-wheeler. I loved that thing! Well, one day someone thought it would be a good idea to let me either drive the thing alone or steer it without much supervision... and I ran it smack into a fence post! I think I broke the axle or something too because if memory serves... we couldn't turn it back straight afterwards... the whole steering section of it was turned to the left.
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As a younger child, I was obsessed with playing house... but sometimes didn't have a friend to play with... like when we were vacationing at our family lake house. We did however have a golf cart that I could play with... so I'd drive around for HOURS playing like I was driving my kids to school or soccer... or whatever... until I'd run the battery out and have to go back for a recharge.
Is the irony of this lost on anyone that I was at a LAKE - with boats, jet skis, swimming pools... but I was out driving up and down the driveways of the neighborhood?! In my defense - I do sunburn like CRAZAY!
So anyway, one time in particular... I was driving and ran off into a ditch... had to walk back to the lake house and get some help pushing the thing back out.
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I also was obsessed with becoming a teacher. I would go to the half-price bookstores or even the book sales... okay, and scour the trash at school to gather teacher's edition books to take home and play school with. Sad, I know. I always thought it was so cool that they had extra writing and stuff in them... with projects for students to do, questions to ask with answers... you know the drill. I thought that being a teacher was pretty glamorous back then.
I'd play school all the time - in one house we had - I had a huge walk in closet that took up one whole wall of my room... it was a really long an narrow closet. My desk fit in there at one end, and I'd line the walls/doorways on both sides with dolls and stuffed animals. I would teach them everything I knew.
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One year for my birthday, my Dad took one of my sisters and I (the other one couldn't go, long story) on a road trip from his place in Arizona to Disney Land in California... by way of the Grand Canyon, Hoover Dam, and several other stops.
It is rumored that I was totally unimpressed by the Grand Canyon and didn't want to get out of the car... I was in like 2nd grade though - so what did I know?!
Anyway, I remember that trip because my sister and I constantly battled over who would be able to sit up front... okay, really - it was probably just me... but after that trip - I learned that the person in the front wasn't allowed to nap or rest during the trip because it was their job to make sure that Dad didn't nap... or anything else.
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I have a knack for saying really airheaded things at the most ridiculous moments... for instance: My sophomore year in high school, the drill team at our school got the opportunity to perform at Epcot in Florida. Which of course meant that we all got to spend a week at Disney World... it might not have been a week... but it was great anyway.

I know what you're thinking... how does the girl that is terrified of being seen get involved with the drill team?! Yeah, they need people to be managers - who make the props and costumes... those sorts of things... it's REALLY glamorous.

Anyway, so we get to Florida - get on the bus... and in front of ALL of my girlfriends... I spout the most ignorant statement while driving from the airport to the hotel. (You know the one, where immediately after it leaves your mouth - you pray that everyone suddenly becomes deaf.) Yes, that is when I brilliantly said "They have cows in Florida?!" - as if they wouldn't... yeah, I'm a total brainiac!

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In high school, I befriended a lot of people that didn't have cars... which for where we went to school was odd. (Some kids had a different car for every day of the week - no joke, one guy really did!) So, being the sucker that I am... I had a carpool going that would rival most of the HUGE SUV's of today... but I drove an Osmobile Achieva! It was a 4 door sedan, BUT I picked up like 7 people every morning before school... so we'd have arms and legs going everywhere! (Clearly that was before the seat belt laws went into place.)
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While driving around in high school - we did the dumbest things:
  • Roll down the window and ask, "Do you have anything grey I can poop on?"
  • Roll down the window and yell to someone on a bike, "Your back tire is spinning!"
  • Speed up while driving over a road hump and scream at the top of our lungs "Road HUMP!"

Did I mention that I was then and am now, a brainiac?

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Ok, I think that's about all I can come up with for now... if I think of any others - I'll do an amendment.