Monday, May 11, 2009

Survival

Another Mother's Day has come and gone... and I can't help but be glad this year that it is over. I am sincerely grateful that mother's everywhere have a day to be pampered and taken care of - they absolutely deserve it. For those of us waiting on the sidelines of motherhood though, it's a tough day to cope with.

I chose the road harder traveled and carried on with regular plans instead of hiding and retreating away from the day's festivities. I never uttered the words to anyone... because they were words that I just couldn't say, but I made it.

I had a few short rounds of tears, but overall the day could have been a lot worse. I am so grateful that our church carried on with our regular message series instead of focusing on being a Godly mother or some other topic specifically about motherhood. Mothers at our church were honored and given a yummy box of chocolates, but in all seriousness - it was done in a way that really didn't make it any harder on those of us still waiting. It didn't bother me...

The time at church that I did cry was when our worship leader spoke about one of the songs we were singing... I can't remember which one it was, but he talked about the hills and the valleys and following God in both times. Being in what feels like a valley right now, it brought me to tears... of which I then couldn't stop for like 30 minutes or better. (Thanks Justin!! HA!)

We then went to John's grandmother's house to have lunch. It was a nice day seeing everyone, and we do have some pictures - but they are still on the camera. I've been trying to REALLY limit my computer time at home because I really want to focus more on John in the evenings - so I'll get them uploaded when I can.

I'll explain more on that in another post - because our message yesterday was good... and I want to share it with you. I'm working on what that balance might look like, but maybe an hour or 30 minutes of computer time is all I'm going to give myself from now on. I don't want to get sucked into that vortex and not spend time with the most special person in my life... I enjoyed our staycation too much and it made me realize that I want to spend more time actively enjoying life with him.

So more on all of that in a post that will be written soon - I've got a big training going on today from 1-4... so if I can get to it before that, I will otherwise it'll be written tomorrow.