Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Worth It?

You ever have those days where you wonder if it's worth it? Or well, really what the point is...

Today, qualifies as that for me.

After yesterday's drama with the doctor's office - at least that is moving again... a minor detour from the main route... but enough to physically and emotionally exhaust me beyond what I was really capable of yesterday. Ask John, I literally was asleep on the couch by 8:30... and if there hadn't been ice cream to be eaten - it would have been earlier than that.

You'd think that the morning would bring bluer skies and happier moods... but apparently today at my office is the day that everyone chooses to crack down on me at once. I've got so many people needing something from me right now - I don't even know what end is up.

Accounting needs me, E needs me, C needs me... so on and so forth.

The kicker though is that you can rock along in this place for a while and everything seems fine - but then one day they turn on you... and suddenly for that one day - you are incompetent... or at least that is what they tell you.

Don't you love it when someone literally asks you: "why does it take so long to get this done?" and you're just left looking at them like - seriously?! - do you have any idea what comes at me on a daily basis?

I don't know if we have a perception problem or what... but it's amazing how I'm supposed to magically appear to have reached a goal by reading someone else's mind. I mean sure - I can get you there... but tell me what that looks like. If you want me to create you a spreadsheet that lists all the different types of fruit by color (exaggeration for effect) - no problem... but TELL ME THAT! Don't just pose some random question and expect me to figure out that you want the spreadsheet. Clearly, that isn't working.

Whew! Oh, and it's great that you think I have all these resources to get these projects done... while said resources have zero responsibility or drive to help me... I'm supposed to motivate people who could care less if I get hit by a bus. In fact, if I'd leave them alone - I think a couple of them would drive that very bus - just to shut me up. I mean someone that they actually report to is going to have to make this a priority for them - because clearly hearing it from their coworker isn't getting there.

Needless to say, I'm extremely tired - stressed out - emotionally drained - irritated - did I mention stressed out?... oh and apparently, incompetent. You see, I'm the kind of person that if someone doesn't want to help me... fine... no problem... I'll just work around it and get it done myself. Somehow though, at this place... I get in trouble for that - because at my level (just a hair above pee-on) I am not paid to actually do the data entry.

Oh okay... great - well if the "resources" I have been given aren't going to get it done - and it's my responsibility to get the project done... is there any one else out there that would just start doing data entry as fast as their fingers would let them? Geez!

Alright - I'm ending this rant... but can I just tell you that if I could stay in my cocoon in Cypress with my husband all the time... I know that I'd be much happier, less stressed, and my blog would be much more entertaining? Ok, the last one might be a stretch - if I were blissfully happy - there probably wouldn't be much blog fodder... but it sounds GREAT.

Have I ever told you guys my theory about the world? It's a crack-pot theory... but seriously - if I never go to the mailbox, answer the phone, or leave the house... nothing bad will ever happen. No one will be knocking my door down for money - or calling me to harass me for a donation... I could just live happily in my little bubble forever.

I know that's a nice pipe-dream... but today - I'm wishing that it could come to fruition.'s your day?