You guys have no idea how much it warms my heart to have such an incredible support system both via the blog world, but also in the form of an amazing husband - and incredible friends!
In the wake of everything I was feeling yesterday - I was encouraged to talk to John by one great friend...which prooved to be one of the most cathartic things I did yesterday. At least, I thought so... and I don't know about you - but my husband is my rock... my knight in shining armor... and poor guy... when he got in the car yesterday evening - I had just heard one of my favorite songs (which also apparently had to be the new Target commercial that played over and over again last night) and the combination of that and the comfort that I feel from having him on my team... caused me to burst into tears. I felt bad because I couldn't even contain myself - I just had to laugh and the stupidness of it all!
Also last night - after I completed a good list of errands that I needed to get taken care of - I went home and was able to start those on those newly prescribed steroids... relax, and chat with another friend for a good while. (John was at a training at the church - so it was quiet, and a good time to spend chatting with a friend instead of alone with my thoughts.) This particular friend is amazing - she has the gift of always seeing the glass half full instead of my natural tendency to see it half empty.
She was incredible - I mean the first thing she said was "how can I help?" and just jumped right in there... (she wasn't the only one offering hope and encouragement either!) she talked me through it, made some jokes and helped get me through a hard night. She also came up with a plan - she is going to email me each day and have me find at least one good thing to email her about my situation.
Our women's ministry group is in the middle of a Bible Study right now - it's one of the Women of Faith series, and it's called Encouraging One Another. Which also falls into place with our message at church on Sunday about being Fully Engaged with our friends. One of the main points was that "you can't give what you don't have" - meaning that you can't pour out love on others in a way that is Godly if you haven't experienced the love of Christ in your life.
In all of this, I can't help but wonder if I could be/have been/or will be as good of a friend to those that I love and care about... in my heart of hearts - I certainly hope so. I have always been one of those people that thinks of her friends as if they were an extention of my family... I love all of them like the sisters and brothers that they are - and I hope that each and every one of you knows that it extends to you as well. I'd be there to give you a kind word and a loving push whenever you needed it - and the gesture doesn't go unappreciated when you give it to me as well.
I am grateful - even in this storm of circumstances beyond my control... I just happen to have a little personality flaw of being a bit of a control freak. My world is upset and the apple cart turned over when there is nothing I can do to help myself make things better in the moment. I don't know how to go with the flow or be spontaneous... I'm really a planner. I can't help it - I come by it honestly... my Dad used to literally have a "clipboard of FUN" when we went on trips and everything was planned out for months in advance of the vacation! (See... I can't help it!)
Once again - thank you for listening to my outburst yesterday, and for being so great about it.