Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Faint of Heart

Can I just tell you guys that having a newborn while being 13 weeks pregnant is NOT for the faint of heart? Seriously... it's HARD!

On Monday night - James decided that he didn't really want much to do with the glorious thing we all call sleep... so we all pretty much stayed up the whole night while he fussed and wouldn't sleep in his bassinet. Which then poor John had to go to work on Tuesday - so that meant he headed off to the office to be exhausted... while I stayed here to take care of a fussy baby.... while being exhausted!

For whatever various reasons, there wasn't much in the way of napping yesterday either - James would scream bloody murder if I put him in his bassinet - so it was either the bouncy seat or sleeping on me... neither of which led me toward dreamland.

By 5 o'clock when John got home... I was pretty close to the end of my rope - and my OB wanted me to start a second antibiotic for another bacterial infection... yes, I'm on two different antibiotics for things that I never even knew I had... so I don't deem them to be major problems at this point... but whatever.

So cue the tired husband walking in with dinner and new meds... of which these new meds are chewable! UGH! A chewable antibiotic... seriously?! Well, that literally put me over my rocker.

Hysterical tears... and a conversation something like this:

John: "Do you think I want you to chew them up because I'm a jerk?"
Kim: "You don't understand how hard it is to chew those up when it's hard enough to eat real food... that tastes good!"
John: "Something else is wrong... what is it?"
Kim: "I'm just exhausted..."
John: "What did you do while he was resting in his bouncy seat during the day?"
Kim: "I can't sleep while he's in that thing... what if he turns it over?"
John: "He can't turn that thing over..."
Kim: "What if Maggie gets hungry and eats him..." (What the heck?!)
John: "Lock her in the bathroom and get a nap."
Kim: "She's not going to eat him..." (Must have gotten some sense back)
John: "Take the bouncy seat and put it on the bed"
Kim: "You can't do that... it's not safe"
John: takes him and puts the bouncy on the bed... "Come here... it's fine..."
Kim: "Oh"
John: "Honey, if you need to go get a strap from the garage and strap the bouncy to the bed if it makes you more comfortable... you just have to figure it out so that you can do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself too."

Ya'll... I am telling you... it is hard!! H-A-R-D! I love this cute little guy so much... but sometimes I just plain loose my cool... which I think happens with most new mothers, but luckily they aren't dealing with the hormones of pregnancy. Granted they've got postpartum hormones... but I'm somehow thinking that those are better in line with dealing with your body in that stage of the game.

My body and my life are totally confused!!

I also have to say that not only is this baby "Peanut" (as we're calling her/him) one of God's true miracles... because honestly - how else can you explain 8 years of infertility to just go away in an instant and a natural pregnancy come into our lives? It also seems that God has taken my diabetes and made that a non-issue right now as well... my blood sugar levels are running in the 90's which is very normal. The only thing I worry about is my blood pressure which seemed high when we were at the doctor last week... but then again... as you can imagine doctors in that field truly cause some serious anxiety where I am concerned.

That's about where we are today - everyone is a little more rested today, but still recovering from yesterdays sleep deficits.


  1. Dude, that's ALMOST as unreasonable as a pat of butter! LOL. You know I love ya, girl! :)

    I reckon it's a good thing James won't be able to remember what a basket case you were as a new mom, eh?

    It's entirely understandable - being thrown into the world of motherhood, twice over, and in 2 different ways would be a lot for ANYONE. Don't second-guess yourself, you're doing great! And those protective instincts are coming naturally, which is great!

    But John's've got to take care of yourself too. Hopefully you'll be over the pregnancy exhaustion soon and can just deal with new infant exhaustion only!

  2. Kim - I TOTALLY understand - TRUST ME! We had a few nights of NO SLEEP with Ryan and then he went through a period of ONLY wanting to sleep on someone - that was at night also. It was TOUGH - I would call my mom during the day crying - you will get through it....that doesn't help I know, but things get better! Ryan now sleeps 7:30-6:30 straight and I am loving it. Just know that misery loves company - that's all I can say at this point and just hope he doesn't have colic! xoxo


  3. I can imagine! Take it one day at a time and ask for help when you need it! Thinking about you.

  4. I was given a piece of advice that I thought was weird... until I was where you are. Here is what my friend Sara Beth told me-- Your baby cannot hurt himself in his crib. So, bottom line, if you need to put him in his crib, shut the door, & walk away (even if he's crying), it's okay if that's what you need to do. Consider your own needs. All of us moms won't judge you for that-- we've been there...
    Well, we probably don't all have babies 6 months apart, but still, we get it.

    It reminds me of one year on the radio many years ago, they were talking about the one thing moms wanted for Mother's Day. You know what it was? To be left alone for a day. Yep, once I became a mom, that's what I wanted, too. I remember my fantasy vacation became a night at the Double Tree by myself in my pajamas without the lights on, without the phone, and without the tv.

    And I also remember my first trimester. I went to the nurse's office and napped EVERYDAY on my conference period. Thank goodness we had block scheduling, so I had a 90 minute nap. So, I can't imagine being pregnant and having a newborn. Just because it's a miracle and you're thrilled to the core doesn't mean that it doesn't come with exhaustion and frustration. You're entitled to those feelings!

  5. Congrats your new and impending bundles of joy. You're gonna be busy mama...but the GOOD kind of busy!

  6. Oh girl I can just IMAGINE how you must be feeling right now! Crazy! Hang in there and try to get some sleep whenever you can, it does get easier as the weeks go by like everyone says. <3 Becky


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