Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Doctor with Issues

I took a little pole on Facebook last night - just to see if I was being hyper-sensitive about an issue that I've been having with my obstetrician. Don't get me wrong... I like her... and I think she's a great doctor. Certainly if someone was going to do surgery on me - she's one that I'd choose... and she has, so I'm pretty confident in that. I just wonder if she'd be someone that I could deal with "coaching me" through a vagnial delivery... Sometimes, her bedside manner leaves a little bit to be desired.

In all fairness - I have to say that my primary care doctor is the opposite extreme - he has the best bedside manner of any doctor I've ever known... so I might just be a little spoiled by the fact that he's the doctor I see 99% of the time.

Back to Dr. S... she's really nice, but I sometimes think that she's got ADD... or at the very least she's not listening to me. I know that some people - probably most - blow smoke when they talk to their doctor's about things going on with their bodies. Especially weight gain or things of a similar nature... sure it's easy to try to build yourself up and look for an easier solution to the problem than the hard work it takes to lose weight or whatever. I get it - I really do... TRUST me... as a weight loss surgery patient - I spent a LOT of years in that boat.
One thing I've learned over the last - almost 3 years - since my surgery... is that I'm not afraid of those conversations anymore - do I still hate them, absolutely! They just don't scare me anymore though - I don't dread going to the doctor (or I didn't before getting pregnant) and getting weighed. Probably because with Dr. W (my primary doc) I can talk with him on a real level about what's going on and he'll give valid suggestions - knowing that it's a very difficult struggle.

Dr. S on the other hand is not that way - I've tried to talk to her about how I am NOT eating with the mindset of "I'm eating for two" or an army... I'm not even really able to eat too terribly much at one time - I just eat about every 2-3 hours. Sometimes is it a cookie that is not necessary - sure... but that shouldn't account for the amount of weight gain I'm experiencing. Yesterday, John even tried to explain it to her - and she didn't harp on it quite as much... but she still mentioned it and told me to watch it.

Watch it do what? Continue on with whatever it's going to do?

Should I workout - probably, but ya'll I just can't. By the time I've worked a full day, gotten James home, spent a little time with my family, cooked/eaten dinner, gotten James ready for bed, worked in a little tiny bit of sleep for myself, gotten up for a night-time feeding with my growing boy... there's nothing left - in terms of time or energy. And when I say nothing... I mean you could sit me in a padded cell and watch me drool - because there is literally nothing left in my body that can even move.

So, anyway - I digressed a bit... because I was getting around to talking about another issue that keeps repeating itself with Dr. S.

Since my first appointment - she's been pretty set on the fact that I'm going to be a c-section delivery. Pretty much every conversation is centered around that, but oddly when you push her on it - in terms of asking what the point in taking a childbirth class would be if you're having a c-section... she will then backtrack and tell me not to give up on a vaginal delivery. UGH! Make up your mind - because if it's going to be a c-section... that's fine with me - I just don't want to waste any time away from James on an evening or weekend taking a class that won't matter to me in the end.

**Edited to add - I am an insulin dependent diabetic while pregnant - it's not technically called gestational diabetes since I had a history of it before my weight loss surgery... but that is a factor in the prediction that Tyler will be a big boy upon delivery time.

On top of that - every time we go in for our monthly visits... she asks me about tying my tubes. It's sort of subtle, because she'll frame it in terms of me letting her know if that's what I want... but every time it shocks me. I've tried to ask if it's medically necessary - and tried to figure out if she's recommending it... but I can't decide what the deal is. I mean there I am - pregnant for the first time and every single time I see the doctor - she brings this up. Sup with that?!

We'd like to have a third child someday - hopefully a girl... of course not anytime in the next year... (Geez, can you imagine?!) But, we don't consider ourselves done with James & Tyler... one more would make us happy. That being said - mean who is to say that I could be blessed with another miracle pregnancy? No one, only time will tell if that's in God's plan for us... so certainly we'd be open to adopting another child if that was the route that we felt we were being led... but am I of the mindset of cutting off the opportunity for God to do his magic again? Not on your life. The only reason that would be okay with me at this point in my life would be if it were a life and death situation.

I was glad to see that of my friends that responded last night - almost everyone thought it was odd. That makes me feel so much better about being sensitive when asked... and not understanding why it would even come up. I guess maybe in her own way - she's just trying to be efficient and means nothing by it, but she's dealing with pregnant women... and she KNOWS my history. She submitted my story to TLC to be on a television show for crying out loud...

What do you guys think? What would you say in my shoes?