Monday, March 21, 2011

Another Day, Another Lesson Learned

Sometimes, ok... it's really an indisputable fact of life... people are going to let you down. Some more than others, to be sure - but people are human and it's just going to happen - intentionally and unintentionally. Knowing this however doesn't take the sting out of it when it happens.

There do happen to be some groups that sting more than others, and there in lies my frustration. To be fair, I am VERY bad at accepting help 99.9% of the time. I don't turn it down when it shows up at my door and can't be denied, but when I can tell you not to worry about it... I will. I can't help it - I just don't want to inconvenience anyone and just about everyone I know has bigger and better things to do than come help little old me.

That being said, there are some basic things that can be done for people even when you don't have time to physically be there. You can just send an email to say "I'm thinking about you" or "Wondering how you're doing" - just something to let someone know that you care. I think that is within most of our ability... because honestly - sometimes that's really the best way to help. To let someone know you're out there thinking about them and that you understand what they're going through is difficult.I think that's true in any situation - because how many times have we all thought and/or said, "I know words won't help take away your pain or struggle, but I'm here nonetheless."

I haven't ever made a big move like I'm about to do at a time when the rest of my peer group wasn't doing just the same - basically my big "moves" have been around graduation from high school and college. The rest of the time - I've stayed really local... which doesn't cause many ripples in the social life.

This time - there are big waves happening, and it's sad to see how people really sort of write you off from the moment the move is announced. Now, not everyone - for sure... but it is an interesting dynamic that happens. Especially while you wait for the move to happen - because this period of limbo is truly FOR THE BIRDS! It's hard to be in the middle - not yet leaving and not yet arriving. There is no getting on with life. There is no getting settled in a new normal. There isn't even a time frame for it to happen.

It's tough. It's even tougher when people you care about come under attack and they aren't the ones leaving. Some dear friends of ours got some unsettling news recently, and I'm sad for them... betrayed for them... and just plain hurt for them. Will they be alright in the end, sure. Probably better off... but that doesn't take the sting out of either of our situations. I hope that the people that have caused these hurts and let others of us down will prayerfully learn from their actions, and just try their hardest to do better next time.

No one is perfect, we all make mistakes. Sometimes though... we need to "practice what we preach" - so to speak. I know that before James and Tyler came along - I was better about this myself... the reaching out and letting everyone know that I care - unfortunately right now, I'm in a season where I need it more than I can give it. Sadly, it's also a time where our lives are changing yet again in another major way... it's a lot of change within roughly 1 year - give or take depending on when we actually move. Every bit of the change is worth it, and I wouldn't change a thing... I love my boys more than I could ever put into words... and I know that our move to Memphis will be an adventure that will change us for the better in ways I can't imagine yet. I'm just ready for the adventure to start and to stop being in this sometimes painful cycle of limbo.


  1. I'm so sorry. I wish I lived closer, so that I could bring you dinner or something. Or at least come give you a hug.

    You have had so much going on over the past year, it's amazing that you aren't curled up in bed in the fetal position with the covers over your head. (That's where I would be - complete with Golden Oreos.) I know it's easy to say hang in there, and much harder to actually do. So I won't say that.

    But I will tell you that I am so glad that I've gotten to know you. You are such a blessing and an encouragement to me. Your strength is an inspiration.

    Praying for you much in this season of waiting. (((hugs)))

  2. {Hugs} Kim. I can only imagine how unsettling the limbo period is. Hang in there.

    BTW - It is going to take a lot more than a move to Memphis to get rid of me;-)

  3. {Hugs} Kim. I can only imagine how unsettling the limbo period is. Hang in there.

    BTW - It is going to take a lot more than a move to Memphis to get rid of me;-)

  4. I have moved many times and yes people do write you off when you announce the move. It is there way of closure, I guess. It is very hard.

    Once you get to Memphis all this will be behind you.

  5. Boy, what you said..."I'm in a season when I need it more than I can give it", believe me this is one Mama who understands!!! For different reasons of course, I feel the EXACT same way. I couldn't have said it better myself.

  6. Does that mean that I need to just make a meal and bring it to your door instead of asking for permission?? In that case, you might be in for a surprise soon!! :-)

    If I'm inferring correctly about the other issue, I know it's tough, but I'd urge you not to listen to some of the rumors going around. I'm sure you know how things can get misconstrued in these types of situation.


Thank you so much for your comments. I really enjoy getting feedback on my writing!