Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Lets Talk Discipline
This shirt is awesome in so many ways - I think it's a great idea. As a youngest child, who was actually raised as an only child and then became the middle child in her 20's -- long detailed story, but even thought I have two older sisters (and now a younger brother & sister) -- we never really lived together that I remember. So there weren't any of these sibling parent tricks being used with me... but I can see how they will be necessary in our future.
At almost 2.5 & 3... we have already seen signs of things to come - toys being stolen by a brother and thrown out of reach of the other brother. Biting. Hitting. Fighting. You know it, and I know it's coming. It's part of growing up and having someone that is so close to you -- I can only imagine that it's worse the closer they are. So I will probably order several of these from my friend, Annie, in the future. I just can't for the life of me figure out the size you'd order.
Anyway, that wasn't the purpose of this post. I wanted to talk about the differences in parenting between husbands and wives. I think we are fundamentally as people drawn to the parent of the opposite gender, there is a powerful relationship between fathers & daughters and mothers & sons... it almost goes without understanding.
I know for me as a child growing up - I always looked for my Dad's approval more so than my Mom's -- not in a bad way, but just somewhere in my genetic make up - it seemed more satisfying. My Mom by nature was more of a disciplinarian with me, and I think there is something to that.
I've noticed now that I'm a mother, I can get angry and discipline my boys... but it is very different than the way that John does it. I don't know if he is actually tougher on them than I am, but it certainly gets under my skin from time to time. I have to sometimes hold my tongue and fight really hard to not intervene because I want to protect the boys.
Not that John is an ogre or anything like that -- it just is something within me that wants to protect like a Momma Bear when someone else is fussing at them. I don't know if the same would be true if we had girls, part of me thinks that it might be -- or maybe the tables would be turned and he'd be on the defensive if I were disciplining our daughter...
I can't be sure either way because for now we only have boys, but what an interesting phenomenon I've noticed within myself.
I think this applies to every form of punishment that you choose for your family -- maybe it's more of an issue of one parent takes the lead and one is a little more lenient?
What do you think? Do you have both boys and girls -- and find that this theory holds true?
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Yes! We have both, and we definitely discipline them differently. Of course, each child reacts to disciplines differently, so you have to know what works for that kid too.ReplyDelete
Someone once told me, Moms are raising boys, while Dads are raising Men. And the opposite, Dads are raising girls, while Mom's are raising Women.