Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Off the Hook

Can I just start off by saying this is what is working for me, and as a parent -- we each follow our own path and I don't believe any one way is right for everyone. You choose what is right for your family, and please don't try to fight me on what is right for my kids based on your experience.

Okay, lets talk potty training. We are FAR from through with this process, but I wanted to share something that really has taken the pressure off for us. Our pediatrician is the first person I've ever heard of having this style of parenting with potty training, but lets just say that I've bought in completely.

His philosophy is that we can't teach our kids to control their bowels any more than we taught them to walk. We can model the behaviors, but when they are ready -- they will train themselves just like they got up and walked across the room.

Do you know how much stress that has taken off of me?! I'm not going to be one of those let them run around the house naked type of Moms. That just isn't my style... you should see how freaked out I get over the toys being in the wrong basket -- I couldn't handle the hard core potty training techniques that are used by some.

Basically, all we've done here is put potty seats in our bathrooms... and we let them sit on their potties when we go take our baths at night. They get so excited about peeing in their potty -- so we clap and have a Skittle to celebrate. I don't talk about it anymore than that.

Occasionally they will come up to me and say tee-tee, and I'll take them to sit on the potty if they want to... nothing more than that. No stress, and really - I'm not in a huge hurry to force them out of diapers... what's the big rush? Maybe it's my way of holding on to my babies just a few months longer. Who knows, but I know that we're happy with the way things are going.

Lately, James has been coming up to me to tell me when he needs to poop, but we haven't timed that right. He will either tell me WAY too early - to the point that he gets bored sitting on the potty too long... or he'll tell me too late. The fact that he's becoming more aware of things though is a great improvement that I'll take and keep cheering him on.

Supposedly, he has to be fully trained by the fall to move up to the next class... but I refuse to push him on this and stress us both out. We have enough frustrations with school drop offs and pesky little brothers -- that we don't need the added pressure.

Tyler hasn't caught on to the poop thing just yet, which might just be one of the few developments lately that hasn't started off with him... either way though - this is working for us, and their pediatrician is great. He is so laid back on most things.

I asked him about their speech development at our last well child visit and he just looked at me coolly and said, "How many people do you know that can't speak? Relax, they'll get it. Do they speak better now than they did two months ago?" Point made. I'll chill out now. I'll go back to strictly worrying about how mean they are to each other. HAHAHA!


  1. Thank you, I needed this too! My daughter Joy is 2 1/2 now, and there is so much pressure to get her potty trained! Mainly the pressure is just something I internalize...meaning, I keep hearing my friends talk about or post about how their little one is potty training, and I feel pressured to get on the band wagon. She's just not ready. Not remotely interested, not ready, and since we also have an 8 mo. old now, I'm not forcing Joy into potty training until she's ready. I don't need that hassle, I have enough other stresses as it is! So, thanks for reminding me to chill out. You're so right, and so is your pediatrician: they'll go when they're ready!

  2. I am SO on the same page with you. My baby will be 3 in April, and I am actually enjoying diapers (!) because ... do you know how much easier it is to travel with diapers than having to stop at every public restroom, or carry around wet stinky clothes? Yep, the child will let you know when it is time to 'train' - someone once told me, "Your child will not go to college in diapers." ie, relax. :)

  3. So awesome that your feeling less pressured!! Sometimes a new perspective is all we need right :)

    Happy New Year!


  4. Great to hear of another parent with this (non) potty training approach! My 2 1/2 year old is no where near trained just because I refuse to deal with the stress of it all and I know he will train himself when he's ready. I did the same with my daughter and she wasn't fully trained until her 3rd birthday. I don't understand the potty training stress some parents put themselves through. Kids are pretty smart and will pick it up just fine when they're ready. :)

  5. Do you go to Dr. Bubba? (I don't, but I really enjoyed it when he came to MOPS.)

    Gracie is daytime potty trained, but I've not yet been brave enough to nighttime train her. Last summer I had a time when I was trying to potty training her. One day she had three accidents; the very next day, she, out of the blue, said for the first time on her own, "I've gotta go potty!" and that was the end of (most of) the accidents! So, I am convinced that it's better to let the child decide when she's ready than to stress out over the process.


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