Thursday, February 28, 2008

Running on Empty

I made it through the third straight morning of working out... and if I weren't so tired right now... I'd feel pretty proud of myself. I don't think I'm tired from the workouts - it's the 9 hours a day of data entry work that is killing me. You see, we're in the middle of our annual employee campaign... and my company has roughly 20,000 employees in the Houston area. We're asking them all to make donations this week, and what that means for me is that we have to process 5,000 or so more gifts than we normally would. Typically, I'm not involved in gift processing... but because of the extra load... I get to help. It's really not bad, but my eyes are killing me from staring at the computer screen all day.

Anyway, my friend Sarah and I were talking this morning, and she has decided to start training to run a 10K... now she's not getting crazy or anything... no race has been scheduled. She just wants to train, and possibly in the future race.

Now the funny thing is that in the back of my mind lately - I've been thinking how cool it might be to actually complete a race like that... so she asked if I'd like to train with her... by with her - we'll not be able to work out together unless it's a weekend - because she's a teacher and is able to work out MUCH earlier in the afternoon than I am. Plus - I do my workouts in the mornings... but I might give it a whirl. I'm thinking that I'll give myself some more time on the bike first to build up an endurance... and then who knows?! Maybe a year from now (unless I'm pregnant) you'll see pictures of me at the finish line of my first 10 K...

I guess the sad thing is that somewhere in my mind - there is a battle going on - the fat part of my brain is saying "get real... you can't run" while the post surgery part of my brain is saying "maybe... it could happen"... so for the time being we're in a little bit of a struggle there.

Other questions I'm battling with:
* How long do you have to work out before you start to enjoy it?
* How long before it becomes a habit?
* Will I ever not feel like a total heifer sitting up on my bike?
* Is this the beginning of the part where my mind sees myself completely different than reality?

The last one is a concern for post surgery patients... because when you lose weight rapidly (not a real problem for me - as I'm now a total inch worm) some patients wake up one day and realize that the person looking back at them in the mirror is a completely foreign person. Another words, they still see themselves as fat - while the rest of the world gets a whole other image of them. My guess is that it can be really scary and frustrating to experience that.


  1. When I talked with my mom about surgery, she said "I bet you'll become a runner or something." But honestly--I have zero desire for it! But hey, more power to you! Just training for a race is awesome exercise whether you ever actually run it or not!

    My thoughts on your questions:
    (1) No time at all! You can enjoy it from the first second. I think it just takes finding something that's fun to do.

    (2) I've recently been told it's never a habit. Skipping a day after two years in the gym is just as dangerous as skipping days when you first begin. Or so they say.

    (4) I feel like I have the opposite problem. I SEE myself as I USED to be (thin) and not as I am now. I think I look great until I catch a full-body shot in the mirror!

  2. The only time I really enjoy excercise is when I am doing it with a friend-- then it seems like social hour and not work! Find and excercise buddy! You'll enjoy it more and it's also good for your mental health!!! :)

  3. Kimmie girl...what do you think of the background redo? do you like it? please feel free to suggest changes. Also, I wasn't really sure what you wanted for the blog you want a new custom designed one??

    let me know!

  4. oh, ps...I think do start to love it. ;)

    or so i'm told. :D

  5. Kim, first off, love the new blog look! Lace does good work!

    I can totally understand how it can be hard to imagine yourself running a marathon. I'm having trouble imaginging myself not weighing 300lbs and it is something I absolutely cannot fathom. The fact is that I will not always weigh that much and you will run a marathon if you put your mind to it and decide it is what you really want to do. That's just a part of our past and our future with what this surgery can do for us. We are so stuck in what we have always been when in reality it is time to consider what we can become!

    Someone once told me it took minimally 7 weeks to establish a habit. I also think it can be easily broken, so we have to be careful. I also think you can enjoy exercise if you find the exercise you enjoy. Try different things and see what happens! You might be surprised!

  6. yes, while it takes 7 long week so testablish a new habit- it can take so much less time to break that habit. no fair!

    will you ever not feel like a heifer on your bike? Hard to say. I'm still feeling like it when I am on mine (heading there shortly) pannus shows itself proudly and reminds me of what a heifer I was.

    It is a wierd feeling to not recognize yourself all of a sudden. That happens to me quite often. Sometimes I look at myself and the image is so different that what I am accustomed to seeing, that I don't like it. I don't like the curves and bumps and bones. But then of course I remember what thos bumps and bones mean. It means I am healthy and fit now. not round and fat and ill.

    I ought to go make my own post......

    ps. your new layout looks great!


Thank you so much for your comments. I really enjoy getting feedback on my writing!