Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Question/Answer Wednesday

I have to say that this was an experiment that I'm not sure what I think the outcome is at the moment... a couple of these questions bordered on hurting my feelings a little bit, but I promised that I'd answer whatever ya'll asked so long as it was clean.

Meghan asked:

What are your choices for names of a baby girl or baby boy?

This is a tough one because I've had a girl's name picked out since I was about 12... and all I'll give you is the first name because you know... something needs to be a surprise for when that day comes... but her first name would be Bailey. (Which happens also to be my maiden name) The middle name is also picked out - I think, but I'm more negotiable with that... so if John has strong feelings about it - we'll see what happens.

When it comes to names for boys - that is still up in the air. John has expressed interest in having a son named after him, but I'm not entirely keen on the idea. Mainly because I can't imagine myself with a child that people call "Junior." (eeew!) I've tossed around the idea of having him be a , II child... but I'd want to call him something other than John... so I suggested Jay as a nickname, but John doesn't like it. Needless to say - there is a lot of work on name negotiations should we end up pregnant with a boy at some point.

How are things coming along with your sisters/father and all that?

The familial issues weren't with my sisters or father... but they are doing well. I still haven't talked to my Mom, and I'm not exactly ready to do that. I'm still taking my time to figure out where I stand with my past, and what that means for my future.

The one thing I can tell you is that I'm not upset with anyone, I'm just trying to live my life and continue making choices that remain true to who I am. If I stop liking the person I become around another person... then I have to back off and figure that out. That's simply what I'm trying to do... I'm not mad at anyone or harboring ill will...

I am doing my best to not talk to anyone at this point about it much at all, and just give myself time to figure it out. When I'm ready - I'll probably have a discussion with both parents separately about different things. Or maybe not, I don't know yet. I'm just not sure if it all needs to be rehashed at this point or if I just need to make peace with it and move on.

How has the wls journey affected your friendships?

Interesting question. I've had a lot of turmoil in this area over the last year and 4 months... not only because of the weight loss surgery. I've found as I've gotten involved in churches that the majority of my friends are tied to that part of my life, and the week that I had the surgery - our original church home closed. The ladies that I still talk to from there, say that I've changed quite a bit... (Jenn, Tasha, Staci... you might answer this better than me.)

So at that time in my life - I met a bunch of new women, and had already changed in a lot of ways... just that I am not as much of a wall flower. (I still am shy though!) So Renee and the ladies at our new church might not describe me in the same way that my old church friends would.

What I've gained the most over the course of this process are some wonderful blog friends that I only wish lived close enough to know them in person... and a couple of them that do - but I haven't met yet. The support of my fellow "cut and paste" girls, and others that I have met along the way has been instrumental in me being able to get through all of it.

Overall, I have gained some friends and lost some over the course of this weight loss process. Not really any of them though I would say have been a direct result of the surgery itself... just different circumstances and situations. I do notice that I am different though - but I've always tried to be more of a "go with the flow" kind of friend... all of that being said - I've noticed more changes within my family relationships than I have with friends.

Jenn asked:

Is John jealous of your wls?

Not at all, sometimes it might not be fun for him - but we went into this knowing that if I didn't have this surgery - we might never be able to have children. So it wasn't just about vanity for us... it was about health and our future.

I can't imagine John ever being jealous of anything that I've done... I can't imagine being jealous of anything he's accomplished. He's my husband and all I would feel is proud of him for whatever he's done... and I believe that he'd say the same.

Honestly, John has his own stuff coming up that we're working on. So I believe my journey will shape his and make us both more aware of how we can help each other in the future.

If you had to do it all over again, would you have the same surgery?

I absolutely would have the same surgery. My results haven't been exactly what I had hoped for, but the journey isn't over yet. The differences in my health are measurable, and while I have set backs from time to time... when I get it all working together - I feel great. Now that I've gotten off those blood pressure medicines - I feel pretty good. As soon as I get myself working out again, I know that it'll make an even bigger impact - but right now I'm focused on my fluid intake and my vitamins... and I already feel like I'm getting there.

It's not easy relearning life, and I'd encourage anyone thinking about a surgery like this to do their research - but I wouldn't change a thing.

What is your favorite activity outside of writing?

I enjoy reading, scrapbooking and cooking... but I don't do any of those really consistently. Well, I guess I cook consistently - but not really for enjoyment. I like trying new recipes and stuff, but during the week it seems more like a chore than a hobby. So to that end, I guess my favorite right now is reading magazines...

I wish that I'd make more time for scrapbooking because I enjoy it, but lately I haven't been doing that well. Maybe I need a scrapbooking night or afternoon with friends so that I can get some inspiration again...

Mama Jean asked:

Where you were working before, you vented a lot. Is this new job better, or, do you still think you should be teaching?

In some ways the new job is better, in others it's just different. I feel like I'm back doing things that are more along my talents... which is great. I am not sure about how I fit in with the people around me, but I'm trying to move beyond that. The only other thing that I'd say is tough to deal with at times is the pressure cooker that I'm working in right now. In 2 or 3 months things might be very different and settle down... we'll just have to see. The people I work with are a lot more balanced or at least human than the ones I worked with at the last job.

My last employers were just out to be mean, and to break people down... that's not the case here. In some ways it's the exact opposite and I'm like an abused animal trying to figure out when it's safe to share my ideas.... that probably doesn't make any sense to you, but basically I got so beaten down at my last job - I'm afraid at times to step outside of my clearly defined areas and do things that I can do or share ideas that I have about things outside my expertise.

I know that teaching is real stressful, can you handle it?

I believe that stress is relative to doing what you love, but while every day wouldn't be perfect... I do believe that it is a career that I'd love and really enjoy. It has been my dream job since I was a small child, and I feel like it is something that I could do for many years and enjoy it.


So, I'll go one more round and see what I think next week... so ask your questions in the comments and I'll answer them for next week.
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