Answers to Your Questions

I'm finally sitting down to get started on answering some of your very awesome questions! YAY! (I know... it's about time, right?!) My plan is to break these up into a couple of different groups because there are so many this time around, but I'll answer as many as I can while the kids are napping.

As always, if any of these or the answers spark some new questions... submit new questions in the comments section and I'll answer them with one of the subsequent groups.

Ready?

Here we go!

Jenn asked:

1.) Do you and John have any nicknames for each other (sweet or embarrassing)? What about the boys? Have you given them nicknames other than "little man" and "tiny man"?

Nicknames... John and I really just call each other "Honey" - there isn't too much creativity there, but it works. For the boys - we haven't really settled in on anything besides the two you mentioned - but I do call them "Jay" or "Tee" or "Ty" - we've called them "stinker pants" "fussy man" and things like that too. John has a game he plays with James where he turns him upside down while holding him by his legs... and for some reason he calls him "Turkey James" while doing it - it makes James laugh really hard, so we go with it! One other set of names we've used is to call James our "greatest gift" and Tyler "our miracle."

2.) What is the best part of being a mama to two boys that you never even thought or dreamed about before having either of them? And you can't say the unconditional and overwhelming love, because that's a given. :)

It's hard to say the best part of having two... I can say right now that the best part of being a parent - or at least the part that makes it all worth it - is the big smile you get when James sees you after being away from you for a while. That instant recognition of you being his Mommy... it's magical. Tyler will get there in a few months - so it'll make all of this hard work and lack of sleep mean that much more. 

3.) Does your church do a baby dedication? How awesome would it be to stand before the body of Christ with not just one, but TWO, beautiful babies? What a joy it will be for them to see how abundantly their prayers were answered!

They do baby dedications - in fact they've contacted us twice since Tyler's birth for a ceremony... but the times they've contacted us have been 1) when Tyler was still in the hospital and 2) when James has been sick... so we haven't done it. In all honesty though, we are planners and would really want to be able to set it up in time to have some of our family be able to attend. So I'm looking for a weekend to make that happen - I was thinking about doing it around a holiday, but we'll see. I'm also a little torn on waiting until James' adoption is final too - just to have it be a sort of public way of going full circle with our church family. 

Susan asked:

Now with both babies to care for how are you handling meals? Do you cook a lot ahead of time and freeze it or just let every night bring a surprise? 

So far, we've been very blessed by our church family... they brought us meals on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for three weeks after we brought Tyler home. So we've had plenty of food on hand to just grab and go. We also planned ahead and cooked things to freeze into meal sized portions - which we have done pretty much since I had weight loss surgery. It's easier to cook a regular meal, and then divide it up to take to work for lunches or use on nights when cooking just isn't an option. When we can make it work - we will cook while the other one of us takes care of the boys and gets the bedtime routine started. 

Katie asked: 

How did you feel when you found out you were pregnant?

It was a very surreal time - so I'd say shocked, overwhelmed, elated, and nervous. I already had a baby that filled the empty place infertility left for me... and I had been told that I wouldn't have a child naturally... so I really essentially had moved on. I planned on praying for God to bless us with a pregnancy if he wanted that to be part of our story for the future... but little did I know that the whole time I was pregnant. I mean literally from the time we finished our home study for the adoption - that was about the time I got pregnant. Before we lost the baby girl placement in February... before James came along... it's crazy when you think of it. But also, very clear why I thought the nausea was stress or part of one of my normal illness cycles. (I have suffered from occasional periods of extreme nausea lasting 2 weeks to a month or more for several years.)

How did you meet your husband?

The short answer - Online.
The long answer - We met initially in 1997 on America Online by chatting and instant messaging... after chatting for a few weeks or so, John had me mail him a photo of myself. (I didn't have any digital photos back then) I chose a photo from high school that was one of my favorites, but apparently it made me look too young... so John stopped talking to me. About a year passed, and we started chatting again on AOL - this time around we both were in relationships - but mine was an abusive situation so he tried to talk me into leaving my boyfriend at the time and seek a healthier relationship for myself. We stopped talking again and over time I did realize that my situation wasn't good for me and I made the changes to my life that I needed to make. One more year later - (the third time was the charm) we started chatting one last time and we both were single. The situation was perfect... and we've been together ever since! We started officially dating in March of 1999... engaged in early 2001... married in February 2002!  

What made you decide on James and Tyler for the names of your boys?

For James - John always wanted his first born son to have the same initials as he has...which are also his father's initials. We toyed with the idea of naming him after John, but I didn't want to have people calling him Junior... so instead we named him after a high school teacher that John was really close with. That teacher worked with the Ag program at John's high school and was special to him. He never had children of his own, and he died suddenly while John was in college... and at his funeral one of the other teachers told John that the guy told him once that if he ever had a son - he'd want him to be just like John. So, we named him after him and gave him my father-in-law and John's middle name. Ironically, my grandfather on my Dad's side was named James too - he didn't go by that name, but it was his... also one of my uncles, a cousin, and a cousin's son are all also named James. 

Tyler's name doesn't quite have the same story... we subscribed to one of those weekly pregnancy email services and somewhere around 20 weeks they told us to both make a list of names that we liked and share them with each other. John did it, but I never did. I looked at John's list, and instantly loved the name Tyler. His middle name "Christian" is in honor of the miracle that he is... being the baby that we were told we'd never have.  

What is your favorite thing about being a mom to two young children?

I think for me in this moment, my favorite thing is knowing that I overcame some incredible obstacles to get here... we worked so hard for 8 years to get where we are today... and we've been given such a blessing by being faithful and never giving up. We prayed so many different prayers - both for natural babies, and even for God to give us the babies that he would want us to raise... and look where we are. We were given the incredible privilege to raise James and love him like he deserves to be loved... AND at the same time we were given the miracle of Tyler to raise and love just the same. With all of that being said - it can be incredibly overwhelming at times! 

What is you favorite thing to do? (other than be with your boys)  

There are so many answers that could go here... I'd say that in the fall... it's getting a Starbucks and hitting the craft fair circuit... I LOVE craft fairs! In the other times of the year - I have a really deep love of cooking and trying new recipes... reading, watching movies, hanging with friends... basically there isn't one set answer - it just depends on the day and my mood. 

James is awake now... so I've got to run play with him, but I'll be back to answer more of your burning questions soon!! If you think of any new questions to add to the list - just enter them in the comments section, I love being able to interact with you guys in this way!

Answers

Hey guys!! I am getting around to answering your questions now... I wanted to do it earlier, but well... I fell asleep this afternoon, and when it comes down to sleeping or blogging these days - I'm just gonna choose sleep.

Before we jump off into the answers to your burning questions... have you had a chance to go look at James' preview photos from his photo shoot on Monday? Go look... I'll wait....



You're back? Great!

Sooooo... lets see what you're dying to know...

Katy asked:

Where did you get your maternity clothes from? There's hardly anything in San Angelo so I'll have to do online shopping and have everything hemmed.

I got my maternity clothes from Motherhood Maternity - they have the best selection of plus sized maternity clothes that I can find. I was considering ordering it online as well - because I'm lazy, but I'm really glad that I went to the store and tried them on first. They convinced me to buy a size smaller than I would have chosen for myself because of the super stretchy nature of the pants. The jury is still out on the comfort level, but that could be that they don't fit quite right yet - since my belly hasn't really changed much. It is just hard as a rock in some places and is uncomfortable in my regular pants. 

I looked into stores in your area, but there aren't any - looks like the closest ones are Midland and Abilene.

Denee' asked:

Are you planning on returning to work since you are going to have 2 babies so close together, or do you get to be a SAHM?




The current plan is that I will return to work in June. We are still looking at our options and finances, it would be absolutely wonderful if I could figure out something that I could do from home around the babies' schedule and make a little extra money for our family. I don't know what that would be yet - but if you guys have any ideas please send them my way. I've got great experience with database management, fundraising, general office management, grant writing, writing of any kind really... and a HUGE desire to be at home with by babies rather than leaving them with someone else. HELP blog friends...

How are you feeling now since your pregnancy has come further along? Still having the yuckiness?

Still having a good amount of the nausea - it happens now mostly later in the evenings so that is a blessing because when John is working at least he makes it home before it really kicks in. The doctor did give me some Zofran which helps - so I'm grateful for that. Other than that - there are some general issues with sore body parts (trying to spare the male readers...aka my Dad) and general exhaustion... which could have as much to do with the pregnancy as it could be having a newborn in the house. 

From everything I've read so far - some of the nausea and exhaustion should start going away this week or in the next couple of weeks and the best part of the pregnancy begins... the second trimester is supposed to be the part where you feel the best. Bring than on!! I'd like to enjoy the time with my baby while I'm home. 

Heather asked:

How does your weight-loss surgery affect your pregnancy, if any? Do you have to be extra careful to only eat healthy stuff?  

If I were closer to the actual surgery it might have a bigger impact on the pregnancy, but now I can eat whatever I want and eat normal sized portions. I mainly have to modify the prenatal vitamins to chewable (which are DISGUSTING!!) because that is the best way for me to absorb the most nutrients for the baby. 

I do have to be careful with my diet and things but that is more because of my diabetes history and high blood pressure. The beautiful thing though is that my cravings so far have been mainly for healthy items... mainly fruit and vegetables... like yesterday - I made the boys get out and go to Olive Garden for lunch because Mama needed to down almost the whole bowl of salad! I am grateful that my cravings have shifted - because if I ventured to guess about any for the first three months - I'd say sugar was the main component. If only it would shift slightly now more into a protein/vegetable phase we'd be doing really well!

Jenn asked:

If baby #2 is a girl, will you consider naming her Bailey or is that name out of the question because of the failed placement?

I think I've got a different perspective on that now. Maybe this baby is God giving us our Bailey just in a different way... where the middle name isn't someone else's choice. I don't know maybe it's just him giving me the perfect baby to be given that name - the baby girl I've dreamed of all these years. 

Don't read into that and think that I am any less thrilled with James - because believe me - he's perfect! I just wonder if after everything we went through - and then our final decision to just give it all over to God... might have warranted a miracle that we never expected possible.

What was the most memorable response you got after announcing that you were expecting?

 

On of John's college friends - because he is a character to begin with... but he said "Wow, parenthood has hit ya'll with a vengence!"

 

There were a couple of other unexpected reactions, but overall - most folks just laughed and said Congratulations!  

Has the reality of pregnancy set in yet? How? 

 

Oh, I don't know - in some ways yes... in others no... it gets pretty real when you see the baby on the screen and hear a heartbeat. But in terms of feeling anything - I just generally feel cruddy... but with something that feels like a melon in my gut causing some discomfort when I sit or lay down wrong. I can only imagine that some of those things will only get worse over the next 6 months... but it's all worth it in the end. 

Do you feel a close maternal bond with James yet?

 

Again, in some ways. When he snuggles up and just looks at you - you can't help but fall in love all over again... but at other times I just feel like I'm babysitting or in some sort of alternative reality. Sort of like I need to constantly pinch myself... on both accounts - having a baby and being pregnant. I mean honestly! I would have laughed at any of you if you would have predicted this a month or two ago! 

 

Do you worry at all that you might be closer to baby #2 since it's your biological child? 

 

Not at all, I think that we've got several good examples of how that works in our families... John's family is that way - where he's adopted but his sister is biological, and there aren't 4 people that are more bonded together regardless of how they came into the family. Same thing with my Dad and adopted siblings... I don't think there is any difference in the way we are all loved... is their childhood different than ours were - sure... but that comes with being at a different place in his life and career than he was when we were little. 

 

So, no - I don't worry about that at all... we've got a LOT of love to give and it doesn't matter to me where the babies came from... they both grew in my heart every bit as much as baby #2 is growing in my tummy. I've loved them for many years without knowing them or how we'd find them.  

 

Are you going to convert another room of your house into a nursery or use James' nursery and move him to another room? Because I have a feeling if this baby is a girl, you're gonna want to go pink crazy!! :)

 

Oh, I think since they will be so close in age - regardless of gender... we'll use the nursery we have for both babies. We will likely have to get another crib, but I don't want to spread them out like that while they are infants. If we have a boy and a girl... as they get older and move into "big girl/big boy" rooms... then we'll do something different for each. 

 

Christi asked: 

 

Are you planning on finding out the sex or do you want to be surprised?

Oh girl... are you kidding? I'm finding out the moment that we can! I need to know if I should be packing things to be reused in 6 months or if I need to be buying a thing or two in pink to get ready for a girl. We also need to know if it's a boy because we have no names picked out for another boy.

What was most surprising about the change of bringing home a new baby (i.e. how they sleep, how little you sleep, how little they are)?

I think the biggest surprise is the amount of work involved for something that sleeps 80-90% of the day. The bottle washing, laundry, and time spent feeding/burping was a little shocking. By the time you do that and try to sleep when he's sleeping... you're pretty much out of time. 

 

The size of him is a little shocking at times too - he's so much smaller than any of the other babies I've been around... he's two weeks old and his newborn clothes are still a little big on him. But he sure is CUTE! 

Were you planning on growing your family larger (adopting another at a later time) or did you feel "done" - not that it really matters because God had other plans ;-)  

I think we'd like to have one more (I'd go for two... but John says one) so we'll just see how that happens over the next few years. I don't know how it would happen for us this time around... we'll just see what God has in store for us and follow his plan. 

That's all I've got - great questions!! We'll try again next week... so you can start posting or sending me questions as you think of them.  

Q&A Wednesday

It's Q&A Wednesday - so I'd like to open this blog up to see what you guys want to know... is there a burning question you have for me right now? Things are nuts... and I've been fairly lacking on finding time to blog right now - so in order to be as efficient as possible... ask away!! I'll get some answers up by tomorrow night.

Today has been another busy day:

• We took the little buddy boy back for his third hearing test. He didn't pass on one side in the hospital because of fluid remaining in his ears from being a c-section baby... but today he passed with flying colors. 
• We went for his first trip to a restaurant - I know silly... but it can be stressful worrying about if you can get a meal in before he wakes up and needs something. We had a lovely little lunch at Olive Garden... because this Mama has been craving all things fruit and veggie lately... so I needed some good salad. 
• While the boys sat in the car - I ran in and bought the first of my maternity wardrobe. My pants especially aren't fitting right anymore... ok - the fit alright, but they are uncomfortable on the belly... so I went ahead and got some jeans, a pair of shorts, two tops, and a dress. (Cause I figure it's not cool to show up to your baby shower in sweat pants!) 

• Other than that - a bazillion phone calls to the OB's office - and we'll call it a day. Apparently I have some sort of bacterial infection so I need to take some antibiotics, they forgot to give me supplies and instructions for a test that the lab needs to run, my prenatal vitamins that are chewable were discontinued so I had to get them to call in something else, and finally - rescheduling my appointment for Friday because they wanted me to come in earlier. 

The rescheduled appointment means that I'll miss James' second trip to the pediatrician, but it's probably for the best because I'd like to strangle that lady. I think we'll be making an appointment to meet with a new doctor that happens to be the sister in law of a good friend of mine. 

So alright, now it's up to you... what do you want to know about this crazy, beautiful, exhausting life of mine?

A's to the Q's

Once again - don't forget to enter the Your Choice Giveaway if you haven't already - you have until midnight to get your entries submitted.

Now to get to your questions:

Jillian asked:

What is your dream vacation spot? Not where you have been, but where you want to go:-)

Oh, goodness... I'm not even really sure... I'm such a homebody, but a couple of places that I'd like to go before I end my "bucket list" would be: Cape Cod, Boston, Chicago, and Seattle. If we were going 100% unrealistic... cause it'll never happen... I'd say Italy.

Jenn asked:

What is your feeling about the healthcare reform bill that is on the brink of being passed? Do you agree with the "Deem and Pass" tactic that's being employed to try and pass it?


Way to go for the juggular Jenn! Goodness... let me just give you a disclaimer - these are my views, and I respect that others won't agree... I don't judge anyone else for their views or attack them... so please give me the same courtesy.

Let me start with saying that I'm certainly not a fan of this new bill - for many reasons. Personally, for me - being someone that had to pay 100% out of pocket for weight loss surgery and infertility treatments... I find that medical insurance is a joke for the most part - BUT I do not think that the government can or will make it any better. It irks me that they even think that they CAN make it better... but for sure a solution isn't to burden the country's finances with additional costs and taxes. I don't agree with abortion costs being covered for personal reasons, and I honestly at the core of my beliefs feel like there is no one in the world more qualified to direct your medical care than YOU and your doctor. No one in Washington or anywhere else can know more about what is going on in your body than you.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Medicaid specifically designed to be healthcare coverage for the folks in need? I'm not sure I can understand or get behind what exactly these folks in goverment are trying to do beyond what is already being done.

Finally, I really hate the robinhood thought process that is going on out there right now. It gets me fired up to think that people who have worked for what they have - and worked hard to get to a place where they are comfortable - will be punished for having done what is right. It is not their responsibility to take care of anyone else... it is the responsibility of each individual person to get out there and make the best living possible... and take care of the things that they have in their life. I don't buy into the idea that people should be forced to pay for the lazy... and I'm certainly by no means saying that everyone that has fallen on hard times is lazy - absolutely contrary to what I'm saying... but there are folks out there that are a drain on our system because they choose to be. There are also people out there that are wealthy that are greedy and need to realize that they can loose it much more quickly than they earned it - but there is good and bad with everything.

The only thing that I have a hard time with is the children. I struggle with this because whatever circumstances children are in - it is through no fault of their own... they didn't ask to be born, and they didn't make any choices in whatever situation they find themselves in. However, this is exactly what Medicaid is for. A family member of mine has used that system - for a time while they were getting back on their feet - and honestly - they got much better healthcare during that time than I do for my insurance that I pay for directly.

So, hopefully if you've made it through this answer - you'll stick around with me...

There is no amount of money that could ever persuade you to eat this food item. What is it?

Well, there are probably many... but lets just start with any sort of reproductive organ... and then go on to include any digestive organs, tongues, livers, gizzards, or hearts. (And with that - I think that I'll go be sick... and probably skip lunch today!)

Guilty pleasures:

On TV?

Things I shouldn't watch... 90210, Gossip Girl, Private Practice, and Grey's Anatomy. Good thing that I can make good solid choices based completely on my own morals - instead of looking to television to guide my life choices.
Food?

Depends on the moment, but anything with Peanut Butter and Chocolate would be in the running. My favorite being the Peanut Butter Twix.
Shopping?

Hi, I'm a total dork... and my favorite place to go shopping is Target. Why, I don't know... but I can spend hours in there just browsing... I don't always buy anything either!

Internet?

Facebook... although right now - I'd say checking out new blogs. I used to get sucked into Facebook when I got home in the evenings and by the time I realized it - it was bed time. Now, I pretty much spend about 30 minutes to an hour on there when we first get home, and then I'm done with looking at the computer.

I like to joke that too often, I have the patience of a fruit fly. When I said that to Todd yesterday, his reply was "But fruit flies don't have patience." "Exactly", I said. When do you find that you are in short supply on patience in everyday situations?

I have zero patience with adults mainly... I can't handle it when adults are lazy, don't take responsiblity for their actions, or have to repeatedly be told the same thing over and over again. Mainly - it drives me nuts when people expect you to do everything for them because they are too lazy to learn how to do it themselves. I can have patience with kids - but much past high school... and we're done with that.

In what area of your life to you consider yourself to be the most practical?

This might sound weird, but I think in general with my personal care - mainly to say that I don't spend tons of money on things like: facial products, make up, hair products, etc. I get my hair cut and styled about once every six months... so other than my nails (which I'm getting rid of right now in preparation for the baby) I really don't have many routine personal care expenses beyond the normal things that I buy (shampoo, conditioner, deoderant, etc.) at Walmart.

What is your biggest pet peeve in the office? (Something tells me you could list several, but narrow it down to the biggest offender!)
 
Funny that we were just talking about this yesterday, but by FAR - it is with email. The two biggest offenses being: copying the whole world needlessly on every email you send AND sending 4 "rapid fire" emails within 5 minutes. I am a big believer in not cluttering the email inbox with things that don't effect you... I don't need to know about that project - so why copy me on the email?! Also, please finish your thought and send me ONE email to cover all your questions!
 
That does it for this week's answers. Submit your questions for next Wednesday's Question and Answer session in the comments section on this post.

Need Q's to A...

Happy Wednesday everyone...

Since I'm feeling pretty under the weather (TMI, but a sinus/allergy thing going on AND the feeling like I'm going to projectile vomit at any moment... ugh!) - I'm going to keep this pretty short. It's Wednesday - so you all know it's time to submit your questions for me to answer... it can be about anything...

silly or serious
opinion or fact
happy or sad
spiritual or political
adoption or infertility
childhood or adulthood
food or drink
work or play...

should I go on??

Probably not... so get your thinking cap on and send me some questions in the comments!!

A's for Your Q's

I had every intention of posting answers to your questions last night, but this week has been incredibly hard... I can't quite figure out why, but it really has been. I feel like a dark cloud is hanging over me physically and emotionally... and I really have the urge to runaway.

Bonnie asked:

What is your favorite TV show right now?

Favorite TV show... hmmm... I honestly don't know right now - there are shows that we watch every week, but I don't even know that I'd classify any of them as my favorite. I watch: One Tree Hill, 24, House, Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice (although I haven't watched it since we lost the baby - they are sitting on the DVR until I can watch again), Diners Drive Ins & Dives... and lots of Lifetime!

Have you read the Twilight books? (YOU KNOW ME & BECKY ARE ADDICTED & WE HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET SUMMER TO READ THEM FOREVER!!!!)

I have not read any of the Twilight books - I just I just haven't been bitten by that trend yet.

What would your dream "fantasy" job be?

I'd be coping out if I said Stay at Home Mommy, right? So lets just say that honestly right now - it's a toss up between teacher, something in the world of adoption, and a writer/editor. I would dearly love to work out of my own home... and if that wasn't possible - like in the world of education... I'd love to be working with kids, and have the benefit of school breaks... I'm slightly bitter and sad this week that I won't be on spring break with my friends next week - BOO to the corporate world!!

What is your favorite toothpaste?

Well, we use Arm & Hammer... but I'm not sure what my favorite is...

If you had to eat & drink only ONE thing for the rest of your life...what would they be? You would have to drink/eat the same thing EVERY DAY!

Oh goodness, I am so grateful to be human - because we don't have to live like that... but gosh... I guess I'd say iced tea... I don't think I could live without it!

Danielle asked:

I want to know how you are holding up with your friend being occupied with the rodeo? (Just kidding).

Not very well actually... but I have spent a lot less time on the computer - although I can't tell if that is more a product of my mood or of no one being there to entertain me.

I want to know how you are seeing God move in your life daily!

I don't know that I am seeing him... I guess I could say that the fact that I'm getting out of bed and putting one foot in front of the other is because of him... but that's about all I've got.

Linda asked:

I want to know if you are planning on changing jobs any time soon, what with all the "turmoil" and stress that job has been causing you.

I would absolutely love to, but I just don't know right now. There certainly isn't anything in the pipeline... and no plans to put anything in the pipeline for a bit. Things here have settled down a bit lately - and until I figure out what "moves my cheese" I don't see much point in pursuing it. Not to mention the fact that you have to be at a job for a year or more in order to be protected under the Family Medical Leave Act which is the law governing maternity leave... so being that I hopefully will need that protection... I am here for a good while.

Debbie asked:

I want to know what your favorite childhood memory is and why.

I don't really have any memories of my childhood - honestly... I've somehow blocked most of them out. I think I've talked about that before, but that's it... I don't really start remembering things well until High School... and honestly - some of that is even sketchy.

I want to know who your favorite teacher was and why.

Hmmm... I'd say either my Home Economics teacher in junior high - Mrs. Brittian - because she took me under her wing and let me do all sorts of projects that went beyond just everyday class work. She had the great bulletin board outside her classroom that she let my friend and I constantly design and create.

OR

Mrs. Irwin my Accounting teacher in High School. She was another teacher that I knew really on both a level in the classroom, but also a little more personally. She took an interest in our lives... and was the teacher that we would go hang out with in the mornings before school...

I want to know what you think your life will be like in ten years.

Gosh, I have no idea... hopefully doing something I love and going home to my husband and three kids... but I don't really know how to describe it any further than that.

Should I go on?

Sure!! I need questions constantly!

Becca asked:

I want to know what you imagine a day with your baby will be like.

Oh man, another one that I don't really know... I expect that it will be the hardest physical and mental challenge I've ever experienced... but at the same time - I feel like it will come naturally to a certain extent. I can imagine us laughing a lot, going to the park, taking a bazillion pictures, and just generally enjoying the miracle of childhood through our child's eyes. I can't imagine anything more beautiful than rediscovering all the mysteries of the world through the eyes of a child.

That's it for this week... should I stop doing this feature each week? Is anyone interested in asking or reading the answers to my questions?

Got Q's? I got A's.

Don't forget to read my newest weekly feature post... Talk to Me Tuesdays... if you haven't already.

Today has been somewhat better - although, I still feel a cloud of sadness above my head - at least I'm a little more together today and slightly more productive at least. I certainly am starting to think that my bloggly mojo is coming back - at least I want to blog again... so hopefully you're enjoying that somewhat.

Tomorrow is Q&A Wednesday... so I thought that I'd go ahead and start asking you to submit your questions to be answered. I'll probably close the question collection around 2:30 tomorrow afternoon...so that I can get the answers put up for you guys to enjoy before leaving work! HAHA!

Sooooo... what do you have? What do you want to know?

Q&A Wednesday

Hi everyone... I hope you're still out there... it's been fairly quiet around these parts lately... I know that most of it is because of my infrequent posts, but I miss all of you!

How do you like the new graphic? I've got a couple of new features that I'm going to be unveiling in the next week - so look for more fun graphics and new interactive posts!

Jillian asked:

What music was playing in your car on your way to work today?


I don't even really remember, because I snoozed most of the way in to work this morning. The only thing I could tell you is that 93Q was on the radio - as it is almost every morning... so some sort of combination of chatter and music. I've been in a country phase lately... for the last month or two... before that it would have been Worship music from John's iPod.

If you could pick one song to be your "life song" what would it be?
 
Oh gosh, I'm not sure that I could even try to answer this one... funny thing about me is that I'm the least musical person you'll ever meet. It just doesn't move me like it does others... I can either pick up on the beat or the words - but never both at the same time... so it's hard for me to connect with music. I unfortunately am much more visual than that - and I need to see things to react to them rather than hear them. It's the same thing with things that are written as well, if you read it to me - I'm not going to pick up on a single word you said, but if I read it... we're golden.
 
KLaw asked:
 
You know how I have my boy crush? Well, boy obsession really... anyway, who is your Ryan Reynolds? How does your Husband feel about it?
 
Oh, John would laugh at this question. I don't know that I even have a boy crush. I guess I like older distinguished guys... I think that Harrison Ford and George Clooney are really cute... but I really wouldn't say that I'd drop anything in my current life for them. It's 100% true that I really only have eyes for my husband... to the point that I'm weird... I just think of all other men out there as being a-sexual... (Yes, I'm a HUGE dork!)

Summer asked:

If you could redo your living room, what would you change?









I'd make it larger for sure, but other than that - I guess I'd just add some paint... not sure that I'd paint the living room though... our living room, kitchen and breakfast room all flow together - and I've always wanted to paint the kitchen and back wall of our breakfast room. I'd choose a sage green color because I love the warm feel of Tuscan colors... our formal dining room has a Tuscan red (or maroon) underneath the chair rail.





If you could travel tomorrow to one place for a week, where would you go?



If I could pack up Jenn and get her to come too - NYC baby! I would absolutely love, love, love to come to New York again and experience all the things that I missed the first time... oh like EVERYTHING! I pretty much only saw the major sights from the backseat of a cab. UGH! I did get to experience two good Broadway plays and Tavern on the Green before it closed... but other than that - not much of anything else.

What helps you to get to sleep at night?

I guess I shouldn't say the sounds of my husband breathing, my Boston Terrier snoring, and my Lab dreaming about chasing squirrels... (I can't think of what else she'd be dreaming about and yelping...) I tend to have trouble falling asleep at night though - so I do a lot of counting and trying to focus on relaxing each muscle... if that doesn't work - I start panicking that I'm not going to get enough sleep! 

You recently dyed your hair red? Do you prefer that or blonde?

Oh girl! Red is the only way to go for me... I tried blonde for a summer in college - and I literally... HONESTLY... looked like a corpse. It was BAD! I don't have the coloring to work the blonde deal... so I go sassy and red instead. When John and I met - I was always a redhead, and we both really like it on me.

Do your doggies do any tricks?

Not too many - but my lab can sit and speak... she will sometimes shake your hand. The Boston Terrier is just too stubborn. She'll look at you like you've lost your mind if you expect her to perform. HAHAHA!

How old were you when you had your first kiss? Like peck on the lips! MEOW.

Gosh, I don't remember... I remember my first romantic kiss... but not innocent. Clearly it wasn't a memorable experience for me.

I love wearing colored tights. Today, I am wearing blue ones. I look like a very tall smurf! I think I love Smurfs. What would your Smurf Name be. Mine would be SILLY SMURF! 

Nerdy Smurf? Shy Smurf? I'm not sure... I'd have to ask you guys to tell me what Smurf I would be.

If you could only eat one fruit for the rest of your life, what would you choose?

Hmmmm... fresh? Strawberries or Bananas... that's about all I eat. Canned? Peaches or Pears...

You said you wanted chips earlier. Did you get any?

NO! Boo! I never found the energy or motivation to dig up change in my purse or go up to the third floor to get them. HA!

You make some lovely looking cupcakes. What recipes are you dying to try?

I'm not sure if I've found the next big thing yet... I keep looking. A week from Saturday I'll be making another of my famous cheesecakes... but I guess I'd love to make another rainbow cake now that I have the new gel dyes that would make the color even more vibrant. I need my friend Summer to come teach me the things she knows about cake decorating so that I can step up my game!

Kora Bruce from Dixie Lust asked:

If you could do anything today- free from any emotional, financial, physical, mental repercussions - what would you do?

Gather up my two best blog buddies - or maybe a few more - with their spouses and head off to a spa for a few days to just hang out, relax and enjoy each other in person. 

In an alternative ending, maybe tell a few people off and start a new career doing something I find fulfilling - if only I knew what that was! 

What physical things remind you of "home"?

I'm not sure about physical things, but home is anywhere that I have the things I love surrounding me... so John, my dogs, and my laptop would pretty much be all I need. The laptop is essential to keep in touch with the ladies in my life that I couldn't possibly live without... so I'd have to keep blogging, emailing and Facebooking on some level.

Katherine Bee asked:

What does your dream house look like?

One of those Dream Home giveaway houses... HA! I'd love to have a huge kitchen - very much like Paula Deen's...a big warm living room with one of those two sided fireplaces... one side of the fireplace in the living room and one side opening into the master bedroom... and a big luxurious master bathroom. If it could be set in the mountains around Gatlinburg, TN - that would be great!

Denee' asked: 

What is your favorite color?

Purple!

Who is your favorite singer?

I'm not even sure at this point... just depends on my mood.

What is your favorite perfume? (I ask because I've decided I don't like mine anymore and I'm looking for ideas) :)

I don't wear it very often, but my favorite is Eternity.

I know that you had weight loss surgery, and I'm going to my first infomation session tomorrow...do you have any regrets from having that surgery? Would you do it again? What has been the biggest adjustment since you had WLS?

I don't have any regrets - I would absolutely without a doubt do it again in a heartbeat. The things I would change would be to use a different surgeon...and possibly a different procedure - it's hard to tell, but John has had more success with the Gastric Sleeve than I had with the Gastric Bypass... so it's a toss up on that part. The biggest adjustment - hmmmm - I don't know anymore... I had my surgery almost 2 1/2 years ago - so pretty much now all things are back to the way it was before in terms of what I can eat and things. I still eat a bit less, but it is more like a normal portion size now. I'd say that the biggest adjustment is that you really need to change the way you think... get to the heart of the reasons that you became overweight to begin with... I can't say that I did that fully, but it will go a LONG way to helping you recognize when you are medicating with food... and what your trigger foods are. Find a good healthy support system - of people that are having the surgery a little before you and at the same time so that you can share experiences... because no one else will understand what you're going through if they haven't been there.

JLI asked: 

If you could sum up the past two weeks into 3 words, what would they be?

I'm sure this shows extreme weakness... but "Why, God? Why?" would be the first three words that come to mind. The lows of the last three weeks outweigh any highs that I felt - and I honestly can't remember what they were like at this point. It's a very difficult process to go through when very little of what happens is under your control. There isn't anything you can do to change it or make it better... nothing you can do to try to do better next time... because you literally did nothing wrong in the first place.

Has there been a particular verse or passage of Scripture that you've leaned heavily upon over the past couple weeks?

I can't say that there is... I remember reading Psalm 20 the day after it happened and feeling that it spoke to the situation pretty well...

At the stage of the healing process where you find yourself today, what advice would give another woman who is about to embark on the journey of adopting a child based on your experience so far?

That you absolutely without question need a STRONG support system that you can lean on throughout the process. You will need people who can pick you up and carry you through the days when you just don't think you can go any further. It's very much like the process of infertility treatments - or like mine were... a lot of hurry up and wait. There was an extreme flurry of getting all the aspects of our home study complete during January and the beginning of February... and now there is just nothing to do but wait. Which the social worker told us could be hard... she also told us about the percentages on the number of failed placements - and it just doesn't quite register until you've been there. 

I honestly believed that having gone through the infertility treatments in the way that we did - meaning that it was a complete waste of time really - I felt like when we followed God's plan so clearly by choosing the adoption agency we did under his clear guidance... that his hands were all over it when we got chosen by this particular birth mother... the timing and circumstances seemed so perfect... so it just never occurred to me that we might have a failed placement. 

The other thing I was completely unprepared for would be the outside influences on the birth mother. She seemed so completely resolved in her decision... so when she changed her mind because of the birth father - it was hard for me to understand. Part of me in my mind found it very hard to relate to the 24 year old making decisions based on keeping her relationship - over the intelligent plan she had made for the long-term health of her family overall just a few short hours before the birth. At 31, it can be hard to remember what that is like... and to know that she's making the decision based on emotion instead of being rational.

Finally, I'd say that you should be prepared for the unexpected. In the case of our recent failed placement (our only attempted placement so far) I never expected to fall in love with the birth mother like I did. What I mean by that is that I was completely ready to accept her into my extended family and to love her as a part of that family forever. We had a lot of similarities, and I knew that we would be able to build a great friendship... and I hoped that I would have been able to mentor her a bit as well. 

That's it for this week - thanks to Summer for helping gather up some questions for me to answer!! Go ahead and start sending in questions for next week (either in the comments section or via email)... and I'll be back next Wednesday to answer anything you come up with!

Q&A Wednesday

Here we go folks... I'm developing some new weekly features with the help of someone much more creative than I am... so look forward to those in the future, but in the meantime - ask me anything you want.

Question and Answer Wednesday is your chance to find out the answers to whatever you might want to know about me. I know that everyone found this little corner of the internet at different times and there might be holes in the story - so ask away.

Even if you've been with me from the very beginning... you know that this blog has been about everything from marriage - weight loss surgery - friendship - infertility - spirituality - adoption - general life - and just about everything in between.

So what do you want to know about little old me?

Leave your questions in the comments section or email them to me directly... and I'll have the answers up by the end of the week.

Q&A Wednesday

It's that time again!! Send me your questions and I'll send you some answers... you've got until 7:00 PM CST tonight to send in your questions.


Feel free to ask about anything - as usual... adoption, infertility, marriage, spirituality, weight loss surgery... you name it, and I'll do my best to answer it.

This has been an extremely crazy week - but bare with me, and I know that things will get back on track soon! It's an incredibly busy time at work this month - our biggest fundraiser of the year is in 2 weeks, so we're working feverishly to get everything ready for that.

Your Q's Answered

My heart really isn't in this, but I promised... so I'm intent on keeping that promise. An otherwise okay day - ended on a couple of REALLY sour notes... so I'm in retreat mode again... and headed to lay in a bubble bath after this - or I might just take my medicine and go to bed. Either way - not the ending to the day that I anticipated.

So without further delay...

Christi asked:

What is your favorite childhood memory?


My favorite childhood memory... hmmm... I don't have any true childhood memories. I have found that I've actually blocked most of my childhood out - I don't remember much before 5th grade. If I had one though - I'd probably choose something where all of the important people in my life were present... which would have happened before I was 7. Most likely it would be a Christmas memory... 

What are you most eager to re-experience with your child (favorite book, favorite game, favorite vacation)? 

There is so much that I'm eager to experience with a child... but I'd say that there is a laundry list of books (Santa Mouse, The Little Engine that Could, Good Night Moon... and so many others), lots of games (Candy Land & Hungry Hippo... for starters), and on the vacations - I'm not much of a traveler... so I'm not sure on that one. I'd probably say that Washington D.C., NYC, Gatlinburg, and Disney World would be on the list. Other than that, baking... anything relating to Texas A&M... a love of Jesus... and many many more things.

ae asked:


Do you do bible studies? If so, what has been your favorite one?

I'd have to say the Love Dare would be the most memorable study that I've done. I also did one by Beth Moore - the follow up (small white & green cover) to Breaking Free. We did 40 Days of Community by Rick Warren a little over a year ago - which was alright... if you can deal with listening to/watching Rick Warren. We're about to start Growing Kids God's Way with our small group at the end of the month - so I'm sure that one will be really great. 

Becky asked:

Since I know you make jewelry what is your favorite stone to work with or if you could have any one piece of DREAM jewelry what would that be?

I'm not sure that I have a favorite - I love them all. I really like the natural stones the most though - because of their irregularity. I enjoy having things that are "one of a kind" but at times it makes it hard to recreate things when more than one person wants to have that piece. I am drawn to many of the different stones and crystals... I typically look for things that fit with the season's style - but also speaks to me. I've got a WIDE variety of stones set in different pieces... just check out the link to my Etsy store in the left side bar.

Katy asked:

Hmmm...ok so I saw that you mentioned something about you having to go to the doctor for your adoption proceedings. Is it a requirement that be healthy enough or something? I get so frustrated when I teach class after class of pregnant teenagers or teen parents and then think...I might not even be allowed to adopt if I tried and couldn't pass a physical... 

We basically just had to get checked and have a form filled out saying that we're healthy enough to have a child placed in our home. There is no reason that you wouldn't be healthy enough to have a child... they are mainly looking for severe mental illnesses and terminal illnesses. If it were found that you had cancer at the time of that physical - they'd put your adoption on hold until you finished treatment... so it's things like that. For the majority of people it is just a formality. I go to the doctor enough that he really just filled in the blanks based on the 3 years of history he has from treating me. Same thing with John... the only things he did other than look through our chart and fill in a few details were doing a urine test and a TB test. We actually did a blood TB test that was drawn on the day I had my initial appointment for my back pain. So don't worry about being healthy enough - believe me - if I'm healthy enough - you would be too! 


It is a little mind blowing the things that we have to do to make this happen - but I can understand it to a certain extent. It's just frustrating being people that care enough to follow the letter of everything they've given us - knowing that there are people out there having babies that haven't done a fraction of this stuff to prepare themselves. 


Alright folks... that's it for the questions for the week. Don't forget to become one of my Friday Favorites!

Q&A Wednesday

Alright - I promise, pinky swear, and all that fun stuff that the answers will get posted tonight...by the time I go to bed - the post will be written, questions answered... and it'll either post right then, or I will schedule it to post in the morning...but without fail by 9AM tomorrow - you will have your Q's A'ed...

We'll leave the theme off this week - since my brain is jumbled... so ask anything you'd like... by 7PM CST... and it'll get answered.

** On another note...I'm going to bring back the Friday Favorites post - just to share the love with my bloggy friends... so if you'd like to be featured on my Friday Favorites... write a guest post with some of this stuff in it:

• Tell us how you found this little corner of the internet (aka Thoughts by Kim)
• Tell us a little about yourself
• What you like to write about
• A funny tidbit
• Just generally tell us about your blog and why we should read it
• Make sure to include a link to your blog

Email the post to me (you can find my email by clicking through the "About Me" section to the link that says view my complete profile) and I'll post them on a first come first serve basis every Friday until I run out of posts. All are welcome - so please post this on your blogs as well... just grab this picture and send your friends on over!!

Alright, so get to it - send me your questions by 7PM CST tonight, and they'll get answered along with last week's questions... AND write me a guest post for Friday Favorites!

Q&A Wednesday

Alright folks, same bat-time same bat-channel... it's Q&A Wednesday!!

You know the drill - you send me your questions and I'll post my answers either tonight or in the morning. I've got a special date with two of my favorite men in the world tonight (John and my Dad) so I can't make any promises for getting it up tonight...

I tried giving you guys a theme last week, but I don't know that it worked. I'm going to leave it totally open this week, but give me your thoughts on the theme issue...

So comment here with your questions, and I'll get back to you...

Q&A Answers

Ok, well... last night didn't happen for the answers... obviously. I'm sorry for that, but well... these darn muscles are killing me!!

 

Kristin asked:

 

Do you prefer (feel more prepared for) a boy or a girl baby?

 

I can't say honestly that I prefer one over the other at this point - maybe more prepared for a girl, since I am a girl... and there's no real mystery there... but I really am going to be thrilled either way. I think initally I thought I wanted a girl, but ultimately - I'd love to have both... so it's just a matter of order - and either one is good for me. It sort of makes it a little more like what folks go through with pregnancy this way - we get the surprise of finding out when we're chosen.

 

Are you worried about being able to bond with him/her or the baby being able to bond with you?

 

I'm not worried about this one at all - I think that we are up to the task of bonding with the baby - we've gotten some GREAT information from the ladies at the agency, and knowing that for the first two weeks... it should be just the two of us with the baby... that makes it easier. We are going to lavish the baby with love from the moment we lay eyes on them, and I have no doubt that it will be a beautiful time in the lives of all of us.

 

 

How many children do you plan on adopting? and the second part of that is would ever consider adopting an older child?

 

We'd like to have three children... in whatever way they come... we haven't completely closed the door to the idea that we might have one of our own someday with God's help. Certainly if it is in His plan... it will happen. We are completely focused on bringing one home right now... then we'll start thinking about the next steps. Our agency recommends waiting 18 months in between adoptions, but we'll see what is in store for us.

On the older child question - I'll just say "Never say never" - I don't know the answer to that, but if we feel led toward that at some point in the future - then we will explore it.

Are you even slightly relieved that you don't have to go through labor? :)

 

On this one, I'm going to have to say yes and no... I guess it's good that I don't have to go through any pain... BUT at the same time... I won't get to experience the miracle that comes through pregnancy and childbirth. I won't get the opportunity to look at my baby moments after birth (we won't see our baby until they are at least 48 hours old) - or at my husband's face the second our baby is born. So while our experience will be beautiful in it's own right - it will be different.

 

 

Does the mother and/or father ever get to communicate with the baby down the road? How does that work?

The plan put into motion by the adoption agency is that we will send letters to the mother (and possibly the father) each week for the first month, then each month for the first 6 months, and then twice a year... until the child is 18. They also host an annual picnic where the adoptive families can host the birth parents to come and spend the afternoon with us... all with the idea that ultimately - we build a relationship and possibly take it outside of those organized opportunities. It just depends on the birth parents and their feelings about being included.

Up until the time that we would take our relationship outside of the regular opportunities - everything is handled through the agency - so we'll send our letters and photos to the agency and they will then take them on to the mother.

Jenn asked: (she took her blog private - so no link)

Besides being a mom, what do you feel God has called you to do?

I'm actually thinking about that and trying to figure it out right now... there are so many things swimming around up there - and it's time to make a move toward that. Things I'm considering: writing home studies for adoption agencies, teaching (nothing new there), counseling, something ministry related, something adoption related, something totally different that I haven't considered yet (I'm open to suggestions or ideas), or something with CPS - for instance childcare licensing.

 

Where do you see yourself in 5 yrs?

Hopefully doing something I enjoy, spending time with my family as much as I can...and generally loving life. It's hard to imagine, but I'd love to have 2 or 3 kids and be enjoying our time raising a family... with the occasional date night!!

Additionally, I hope that I will still have many of the same friends that I have today - because I love them all for all of the wonderful reasons that make them each different.

 

You've had a lot of heartache lately, so what are three things that always bring you joy?
 
Hmmm... things that bring me joy...
 
* Spending time with John... especially on our date nights or staycations... doing things that are just slighly different from our routine.
 
* Spending time with my friends... I love just hanging out with the girls, and laughing. I've even made some new friendships through the blog this year that I'd love to actually be able to meet in person - two in particular. 
 
* You might find this odd, but my infertility journey brings me joy - now that I have a little distance from it... I can see the beautiful transformation that was able to come through that process. Most of all a deeper relationship with Christ... and what can bring more joy than that?! 
 
Alright - that's it for this week. I look forward to seeing what you guys have in the form of questions each week - so be thinking of stuff for next week... I'm working on a theme, but as always feel free to go completely outside of that and ask whatever is on your mind.

Q&A Wednesday

I know, I know... you thought I forgot... but I didn't! The fun is that I'm coming to you straight from a muscle relaxer coma... so I'm fighting to make sure that my fingers and brain are working together to put this post up for you.

Alright, so you know how this works... you have until 5:30 tomorrow (Thursday) evening to send in your questions for me to answer. Go ahead, ask anything... as long as it is suitable for a "family blog."

I sort of thought that it might be fun to have a theme each week as well - just to see what questions you guys can come up with... please feel free to go rouge and not ask something theme related. I just thought that it might help some of you that have mentioned that you have a hard time coming up with a question to ask...

So with that in mind - the theme for this week will be... Childhood! Ask me anything you can think of relating to things from childhood.

Or again... you can ask something totally unrelated to the theme if you have a burning question on your mind already.

Q&A Answers - Finally

And here is the post where I answer your questions...I tried really hard to talk myself into weaseling out on this post tonight - but I did it for you guys!! How's that for dedication to my favorite peeps?

From Heather:

Do you have baby names picked out?

We do have a name picked out for a boy or for a girl...not ready to share them yet - but both names will have special meaning and connection for us. 

I know John is adopted; was his an open adoption?

No, John actually doesn't know much at all about his birth parents - only that they were an older couple that already had two teenage daughters.

How does his experience affect your decision to pursue an open adoption?

Initially, we both had some reservations about the open nature of our adoption agency - but God has been working on our hearts, and we are much more excited about it now. One of my best friends is a birth mother in an adoption like this, and watching her family over the last few months has taught us that this could be much more of a blessing than we realized. 

After unsuccessfully pursuing fertility treatments, do you consider the time and the expense (monetary and emotional) of the treatment to still be worth it?


Obviously, everything in life has a purpose and a reason for happening... it is all a part of God's plan for us, and I wouldn't change a thing. I've got some distance from it now, and I really believe that - I think that if things had gone differently - we might not have had the change of heart or the spiritual growth that came out of the fertility treatments and ultimately ending them. 

Have you encountered any flack for changing from fertility treatments to adoption?

Absolutely none at all. Everyone we know in all aspects of our life has been completely and 100% supportive of us every step of the way - through the treatments and through this process to date. I couldn't ask for a better support system. 

From Jenn:

This may be too personal, but are you willing to share how much the adoption costs? Or at least compare it to the infertility costs?





It isn't too personal...our adoption will cost us $18,000 plus another $1,000 6 months after the placement to finalize the adoption with the courts. If it is twins, it will be $27,000. There is another option that is cheaper, but it's too hard to explain it in this format. 

It's hard to answer the comparison with fertility treatments - it all depends on the treatment you're doing and for how long... I honestly can't remember what we were quoted for IVF - but it is either roughly the same as one cycle with that or two... they say that it can take three or more cycles with IVF to make it work, unless you're incredibly lucky... so I'd say that it all depends. 

For us - it is a better option - because after all of those months of not being able to make any progress with my ovaries... we just couldn't justify putting the money towards an "IF" anymore. It wasn't a matter of when... it was very much a matter of they didn't know IF they'd ever be able to make my ovaries produce a follicle.

What are your greatest fears about the adoption?

I am doing everything I can to try to take it one step at a time... but obviously so much of this is out of our control. With a pregnancy - some of the choices are yours... in terms of the health of yourself and the child - we just have to trust God that our baby and birth mother are being taken care of. We also ultimately don't get to have the experience of being pregnant and sort of knowing who our baby will be - or when it will come... 

My biggest fears are probably similar to fertility treatment fears - to a certain extent. I still worry about if it will happen... when it will happen... and the ultimate fear would be being rejected. Since the birth mother gets to choose us - I worry about not looking like the ideal couple... meaning that we're both still overweight... would someone reject us because of that? I don't know. I hope not, but I just don't know. 

I know all of the sayings - I mean God has a plan for us and a baby chosen for us... but knowing that we'd been rejected would be a little disheartening. Finally, having the birth mother change her mind in the process would be pretty crushing too - same thing goes - ultimately that wouldn't have been our baby... but I can't imagine the emotional roller coaster that would come with that information. 

It is scary to think that the birth mother could choose us before the baby is born... give birth, wait the 48 hours before signing the paperwork, and change her mind...to be that close to having our child to bring home - and not be able to... would certainly be another test of our faith.

What kind of parent do you think you will be?

Funny, this is basically one of the questions in the home study - they frame it differently - it's more of a what would you do differently than your parents sort of question in the home study...but I'd like to think that I'll be consistent, firm, fair, and loving... Our pastor's wife, Lisa, has talked to me a little bit about how they "parent to the heart" and teach their kids the reasons behind why things are right or wrong and then they learn to govern themselves. They have 4 amazing kids - and I'd be thrilled to have children a fraction of as awesome as I think theirs are. 

I've got some amazing women in my life that are mothers - so I'm sure I'll be asking for an getting some great advice every step of the way. 

What is your maternity plan at work and is it any different from someone who is pregnant?

I am entitled to the same time off as a pregnant woman - the main difference is that I get zero compensation... NONE - if I were to give birth while at my company... I'd be entitled to my short term disability benefits for those 12 weeks and make 60% of my salary. Which at least would help - since we can really only afford for me to be off for 6 weeks... that would have gotten us to the 12 weeks without any worries.


We are still working on how this will work for us - if I use all of my vacation time for the year - I can take 8 weeks without a problem, it's just a matter of if we want to do that... John has 6 weeks vacation time - so if we did, it would mean that if the baby got sick at any point during the year - he'd have to take off to be the caretaker.  I also can use my sick time, which right now I have roughly 2 days (I think) and we gain almost a full day every time we are paid. So it just depends on when it happens...maybe I can eek out another week. 


From KLaw:

Will you change the baby's name once you are officially the adoptive parents? Or is that something that is left up to the birth mother?

Oh, absolutely we will be changing the name... actually the birth mother never files a name if it is done in their normal process - she gets to choose a portion of the name, and depending on what she chooses - we will make that the middle name or a second middle name. 


From JLI:

Does your church do baby dedications? If so, will you participate? 

 

Yes, I believe that we do them. We would absolutely love to have our child dedicated in front of the congregation that has prayed for us all throughout this process. I think it would be an honor to share that moment with them! 

 

Will you have your baby baptized early on or wait for them to make the decision on their own once they receive Jesus into their heart?

 

We don't believe in baptizing babies - so we will wait until the child accepts Christ through their own decision. 

What is your biggest fear about the day you bring baby home?

Oh girl, so many things... mostly the normal things... will I break them? will it come as naturally as I think? will I crack under the weight of all the sleepless nights? 

That is it for this week - hopefully I'll be back with this again next Wednesday to see what questions you guys have for me... 

Q&A Answers... Coming

I intended to have the answers up already, but because of some bizarre circumstances at the office - I had to help take care of some other folks... SO that being said... keep sending your questions in today, and I will post the answers tonight when I get home.

Anything you want to know about me... as long as it is rated PG... or maybe PG 13 on a case by case basis.

Q&A Wednesday

Happy Wednesday Everyone!!

Ok - so this is my second post for today - so if you don't read in a reader... please don't miss the post or two before this one talking about our adoption and all of the things going on with that.

I've got several new followers right now, and I'm thinking that some of you that have been around for a while might have some questions as well.... so I'm bringing back Question and Answer Wednesday... lets see how this goes this time around.

Leave me a question, about anything... in the comments and I will be back tomorrow to give you my answers. Any topic is fine - so long as you keep it appropriate for a "family show!"

For example: How do you feel about just realizing at 3PM that you've had the price tag on your shirt ALL DAY?! (really brilliant... that's how I feel)

Q&A Wednesday Reminder

If you missed yesterday's post... you can go here to read it, and I highly recommend that!

I'm here quickly to remind you all that tomorrow is Q&A Wednesday... and you know what that means... it's your turn to control the content here on this old blog.

Ask away... what would you like to know about me?
about my past?
my present?
my future?
adoption?
infertility?
weigh loss surgery?
3 surgeries in a year and a half?
marriage?
spirituality?
working in fundraising?
brown hair?
blue eyes?
HA

We have this game called Loaded Questions... and it's really fun to play... so come on folks... ask me your Loaded Questions!!

Q&A Wednesday

We picked up a couple of questions from new folks this week - not new to me - they've been reading for a long time... but well, they didn't ask last week - so that makes them new, right? (Well, the newest question is from someone that I've never met before... so YAY!)

Summer asked:

Favorite book?

Would it be weird if I said the Bible? Because I honestly mean it... there is no other book out there with so much hope and promise for us all. My second favorite book, however, would be any of the Women's Murder Club books.

Favorite gift John ever gave you and you ever gave him?

Favorite gift John ever gave me... hmmm...there have been so many, but I think that I'd have to say that my engagement ring would rate as the first. The second was when he gave me a bunch of scrapbooking supplies to start a scrapbook about my weight loss surgery - complete with letters of support from all of those that are influential in my life.

If you could go back and choose a different profession, what would you choose?

Well, naturally teacher - as a working outside of the home job... but I've often thought that it would be right up my alley to be a book editor too. Right now, I'm thinking just about anything other than what I'm doing - but God has me here for a purpose. I just wonder if there are other places out there that I could be doing more for his kingdom.

everyone has a vice: some people smoke, some eat, some drink - what is yours and how do you try to curb it?

Oh, for sure - eating is my vice/stress relief... so I try to control it by having good choices on hand as much as possible. I sometimes have been known to roam up to the vending machine for things that aren't healthy... my other vice is not having the motivation to workout - like I know I need to. I can get going for short bursts of time, but nothing consistent... it's something I need to start back up to help keep my stress in check over all the areas in my life that are out of control.

I know you have a strong faith in God. Do you believe in Saints? If so, which one is your go to Saint? Mine is St. Anthony.

I don't really believe in Saints. I know that other belief systems do, and I totally respect the practice in others. For me, I feel like the only person I need to pray to is Jesus as he paved the way for us to have a direct relationship with God... so I just pray directly to him.

Jenn asked:

What are the specific scriptures God has encouraged you with from the NT Challenge and why did those verses speak to you?

In each of the beginning books of the New Testament the stories are fairly similar about the life of Jesus on the Earth... but of his parables - I think that the parable about building your house on the rock.

Luke 6:48-49 (NLT)
"It is like a person who builds a house on a strong foundation laid upon the underlying rock. When the floodwaters rise and break against the house, it stands firm because it is well built.
But anyone who listens and doesn't obey is like a person who builds a house without a foundation. When the floods sweep down against that house, it will crumble into a heap of ruins."

Right now, for me - this is encouraging - because I am beginning to see for the first time in my life how true this is. Because I honestly believe, whole-heartedly, that without my life being built on God's word and my faith... thus building my house on the rock... I am able to withstand the storms of this battle to become a mother without completely crumbling.

the other Kim asked:

Okay, here is my question...where are you and John in discussions about when to quit trying to conceive and what your other options are?I'm not saying you should quit trying until you are ready, but when Chris and I were trying and it wasn't going well and taking a huge emotional toll on me especially, we began to discuss our options, even before we quit treatments. Just curious where you guys are. I know God is going to give you a child one way or another!

Well, funny you should ask... because we've pretty much made peace with giving up the idea of fertility treatments. If God wants to grant us the miracle of having a baby of our own - he will make that happen without all of these invasive treatments. When/If that ever happens - we will certainly shout from the roof tops how amazing that gift is... because against all odds - God made that happen through his mighty power.

Until that time, he has been leading us toward adoption. So we are in the process of beginning the application procedure with an agency that is local for us. Some very dear friends from our church have just completed the adoption placement of their daughter, after a long agonizing battle with infertility themselves... and we feel like their example, and a couple of other interesting coincidences are leading us toward this agency.

I will give more information on what we've done and how it is going as we get into the process. Right now we are just filling out an initial application to begin with their series of steps toward being chosen by a birth-mother to raise her child. I am in awe of how HUGE a gift that is to someone that in their heart wants to raise a child more than anything in the world.

Christi asked:

I am getting worried about you. Are you physically feeling better than you were?

I think I might be starting to get out in front of all of the physical illness that I have been dealing with for a long time. I've stopped taking any sort of hormone related medication - so I think my body is finally figuring out to use it's own resources to do what it needs to do to get us back to our old normal.

If I could get myself back to working out - I might feel human again! I certainly need the exercise to start regulating my stress level from work and life.

Have you been working anymore with the wii fit or wii active? I still haven't gotten past day 3 on the challenge but I keep getting sick.

Way to call a girl out... HA! No - I haven't done either in a very long time.

What is your favorite & least favorite activity on both?

With the Wii Fit - I really enjoyed the jogging and I also enjoyed the long step deal - where I could put on my iPod and just step away... it's not really great for getting your heart rate up, but it was ok.

The Wii Active - I liked a lot more for the physical challenge of it - because it by FAR made me more sore than anything on the Wii Fit - so I feel like it worked my muscles out better than the Wii Fit.

Do you like your fruit fresh or cooked?

It depends - I really only like berries for the most part... Strawberries by far are my favorite. I also like cantaloupe, and have just learned that I like watermelon too. So I'm trying more and more - but for fresh - it's mostly melon, strawberries, and pineapple.

Cooked - I'd say peaches (or canned) and apples...

What variety is your favorite apple? (I love pink lady and think red delicious is not suitable for eating).

I honestly have no idea... I always liked green apples as a kid, but I really don't like apples fresh at all for some reason.

Unstoppable Spirit

asked:

Have you considered Nutritional Cleansing? If you do, let me know.

Let me start by saying, honestly...no. Now, I'm not sure on which item in my crazy body you're referring to me considering it in reference to helping... but I've never really looked into it at all. I believe one of my sisters used to do some sort of cleansing - which I thought was strange, but she really thought that it did her a lot of good.

Here's the thing, I'd do just about anything to feel better - but I don't know how long term I could be on anything specifically cutting one thing or another out. I am the type of person that if you tell me I can't eat... oh lets just say pick just about any food item here... even if I didn't like it before - the moment you tell me that I can't have it - I obsess over it. I know, it's an illness.

So that being said, I would love to hear more about it - and what it actually involves. Because certainly being healthier would be completely lovely!

That's all we have for this week folks... go ahead and start submitting questions for next Wednesday in the comments! And go check out these four lovely ladies - their blogs are some of my absolute favorites!