Friday, January 22, 2010

Q&A Answers

Ok, well... last night didn't happen for the answers... obviously. I'm sorry for that, but well... these darn muscles are killing me!!

Kristin asked:

Do you prefer (feel more prepared for) a boy or a girl baby?

I can't say honestly that I prefer one over the other at this point - maybe more prepared for a girl, since I am a girl... and there's no real mystery there... but I really am going to be thrilled either way. I think initally I thought I wanted a girl, but ultimately - I'd love to have both... so it's just a matter of order - and either one is good for me. It sort of makes it a little more like what folks go through with pregnancy this way - we get the surprise of finding out when we're chosen.

Are you worried about being able to bond with him/her or the baby being able to bond with you?

I'm not worried about this one at all - I think that we are up to the task of bonding with the baby - we've gotten some GREAT information from the ladies at the agency, and knowing that for the first two weeks... it should be just the two of us with the baby... that makes it easier. We are going to lavish the baby with love from the moment we lay eyes on them, and I have no doubt that it will be a beautiful time in the lives of all of us.

How many children do you plan on adopting? and the second part of that is would ever consider adopting an older child?

We'd like to have three children... in whatever way they come... we haven't completely closed the door to the idea that we might have one of our own someday with God's help. Certainly if it is in His plan... it will happen. We are completely focused on bringing one home right now... then we'll start thinking about the next steps. Our agency recommends waiting 18 months in between adoptions, but we'll see what is in store for us.

On the older child question - I'll just say "Never say never" - I don't know the answer to that, but if we feel led toward that at some point in the future - then we will explore it.

Are you even slightly relieved that you don't have to go through labor? :)

On this one, I'm going to have to say yes and no... I guess it's good that I don't have to go through any pain... BUT at the same time... I won't get to experience the miracle that comes through pregnancy and childbirth. I won't get the opportunity to look at my baby moments after birth (we won't see our baby until they are at least 48 hours old) - or at my husband's face the second our baby is born. So while our experience will be beautiful in it's own right - it will be different.

Does the mother and/or father ever get to communicate with the baby down the road? How does that work?

The plan put into motion by the adoption agency is that we will send letters to the mother (and possibly the father) each week for the first month, then each month for the first 6 months, and then twice a year... until the child is 18. They also host an annual picnic where the adoptive families can host the birth parents to come and spend the afternoon with us... all with the idea that ultimately - we build a relationship and possibly take it outside of those organized opportunities. It just depends on the birth parents and their feelings about being included.

Up until the time that we would take our relationship outside of the regular opportunities - everything is handled through the agency - so we'll send our letters and photos to the agency and they will then take them on to the mother.

Jenn asked: (she took her blog private - so no link)

Besides being a mom, what do you feel God has called you to do?

I'm actually thinking about that and trying to figure it out right now... there are so many things swimming around up there - and it's time to make a move toward that. Things I'm considering: writing home studies for adoption agencies, teaching (nothing new there), counseling, something ministry related, something adoption related, something totally different that I haven't considered yet (I'm open to suggestions or ideas), or something with CPS - for instance childcare licensing.

Where do you see yourself in 5 yrs?

Hopefully doing something I enjoy, spending time with my family as much as I can...and generally loving life. It's hard to imagine, but I'd love to have 2 or 3 kids and be enjoying our time raising a family... with the occasional date night!!

Additionally, I hope that I will still have many of the same friends that I have today - because I love them all for all of the wonderful reasons that make them each different.

You've had a lot of heartache lately, so what are three things that always bring you joy?
Hmmm... things that bring me joy...
* Spending time with John... especially on our date nights or staycations... doing things that are just slighly different from our routine.
* Spending time with my friends... I love just hanging out with the girls, and laughing. I've even made some new friendships through the blog this year that I'd love to actually be able to meet in person - two in particular. 
* You might find this odd, but my infertility journey brings me joy - now that I have a little distance from it... I can see the beautiful transformation that was able to come through that process. Most of all a deeper relationship with Christ... and what can bring more joy than that?! 
Alright - that's it for this week. I look forward to seeing what you guys have in the form of questions each week - so be thinking of stuff for next week... I'm working on a theme, but as always feel free to go completely outside of that and ask whatever is on your mind.


  1. Great questions, great answers!

  2. I agree, great questions- great answers.

    I thought of a question but my stupid computer was being horribly slow. I was finally able to get my computer moving normally late last night (like midnight).

    Anyway, I will go ahead and give you the question now because I am going to try to not procrastinate so much (long story).

    What is your favorite childhood memory?

    What are you most eager to re-experience with your child (favorite book, favorite game, favorite vacation)?


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