I was thinking the other day about how this week will only mark the second time in 10 years together that I will be going to the hospital with John and NOT be the patient. I think I've been in the hospital or Emergency Room about 10 times in 10 years... maybe more - who knows. Just since 2007, I've had three surgeries alone.
He's sort of a pro at being the person dealing with the non patient side of the hospital scene...
We were talking yesterday (or maybe Friday) about who has it easier in this situation... he's never been through surgery so he doesn't truly know what to expect, but he thinks being the spouse of the patient is easier - while I think being the patient is easier.
I then talked about this with my friend Jenn, she agreed with me that it is easier being the patient - because the patient is the one getting the good medicine and doesn't have to worry about much... especially with surgery because you don't even know what's going on at the time... if something bad were to happen - you'd be asleep and never know the difference.
The spouse on the other hand, is completely aware of everything - and has the agonizing task of praying and waiting for the doctor to come out and tell you that everything is fine... that the patient is in recovery and you'll be able to see them soon. To me - I can't imagine anything feeling more helpless... or more out of your control.
I will be leaning on God in those moments because John is my rock, and I absolutely can't fathom a life without him... having gone through this surgery (or one pretty darn similar) I know deep down that there isn't anything to worry about... but until he wakes up after the surgery on Thursday morning... I will need Jesus holding my hand and watching over John to make sure that everything goes well.