Monday, July 27, 2009

Out of My Way

Whew, today is one of those days to steer clear of me... at least here at the office. Everyone and every word is getting on my last nerve... which is sad because I'm not really mad at them - I'm totally ticked off at my body.

Can I have a whiny pity party for a minute? (I am anyway - so either keep reading or ignore me)

I am so incredibly tired of feeling like complete and utter crap. I wake up exhausted, go to bed exhausted... and the waking hours in between are completely filled with crippling nausea. The kind of nausea where you wish that you could just throw up and feel better - but that moment never comes.

In the past these episodes - at least the nausea - last a few weeks and go away... but this one is hanging on longer than any I can ever remember... and I'm at the end of my rope. I'm frustrated and on the verge of tears... that is how I really feel. So putting up appearances so that everyone in the office can spend their 9 hours trampling on me for information only makes me more ready to snap at someone. UGH!

I know that in the grand scheme of things - this is a minor thing to deal with... I mean it's not like I have an incurable disease or anything, BUT it is extremely hard to function like this. It's all I can do to get out of bed and maybe get a couple of things done during the day.

The kicker is the guilt that I feel over wanting so badly to take care of my husband - and do things FOR HIM (for a change) because he's taken such good care of me. I want to be able to cook a meal for him and let him relax... mow the grass for him... do the laundry without his help... all the things that I'd normally do - but I just can't muster up the energy. I hate this!

I'm going to go pout for a little while... and maybe when I'm done - I'll feel a bit better.