Monday, August 17, 2009

All Aboard

We have a plan... a schedule... and I couldn't be more excited, scared, terrified, and thrilled all at the same time! Today - I am finally able to stop taking these crazy birth control pills... which my body is actually starting to revolt against. I told the nurse this morning that I wasn't sure how many continuous packs of pills I have taken, but this one is certainly one too many. She understood and told me that the cramps would likely stop in the next few days.

Only to be replaced by things that no one knows... emotional outbursts?

The plan is that I will go on Friday for my baseline ultrasound and teaching visit. My teaching visit will include learning how to mix the shots - which incidentally means taking two of those nifty little packs that I showed you in the photos earlier in the weekend... and making them into one shot. Which is nice - that means I'll only get 3 injections a day instead of the 4 that I expected.

So Friday will be Day 1... at least in terms of the shots - I don't know how to judge what "cycle day" that would be for all you other TTC girls out there.

I will then go back on Tuesday in the morning for a follicular ultrasound to see how I am responding to the shots - they'll also do some blood work to check my hormones to see how they are responding as well.

Remember that we'll be watching my testosterone level pretty closely - because they'll have to cancel the cycle if it gets over 40.

They will also cancel the cycle if I have more than 5 follicles - because our doctor will not do the IUI with more than 5 follicles, and even at that - more than 4 requires us to sign off on a special form so that we don't hold them liable for the possibility of all of them becoming babies.

I don't know what happens after Tuesday, but I do know that all of the appointments and the actual IUI will happen before the Labor Day weekend - which is just surreal. I mean it just blows my mind to know how long I have waited for this, and how quickly it all happens.

My friend Jenn sent me a link to this blog this morning... she was asking for advice. She apparently has no problem having children, but wasn't sure how to talk to or deal with her friends that are having fertility problems. She also was wondering why people didn't just adopt quickly while they are trying to get pregnant.

This was my response:

Your post was passed on to me by a friend, and as an infertile woman - I thought I might be able to help shed some light on the subject.

In all honesty - no woman out there would wish infertility on anyone else. Because it is a pain like no other... and for me, I'm in a world with all sorts of women with BIG families. Do I fault them for their ease at getting pregnant? Absolutely not. Does it sting a little? Sure.

The thing about it is that there are good days and bad days with everything. For me, my bad days tend to go hand in hand with the days when my friends want to tie their children to the roof and not deal with them... so that does make it tough.

Overall though, I think that it's like anything else - all you can do is be there for the friend, and listen. Sort of like when you have a friend that is dealing with a death in their family - there really isn't much you can say to make it better... but just the act of you being there with them on the journey is the best way you can support them.

In terms of the adoption thing, I think that is very personal. I am completely willing to adopt - but at the same time that comes with it's own challenges, expenses, and emotional roller coaster. Depending on how and where you adopt from - there can be considerable risk and pain with that as well.

So overall - it is a complicated issue, and one where every person is different. The idea of adoption is very upsetting to some - but for me - my husband was adopted, and I think there is no greater gift or act of selflessness than to give a child to a couple that wants a baby... it's hard to know where and when that suggestion might be helpful or harmful.

Your best bet, is to just love and support... offer advice when asked, but mainly just be willing to hold their hand and wipe their tears.

Of course it is just my two cents... which she can take for what it is worth. I just know that I have an amazing support system that gets me through this - just knowing that they are out there. Whether or not they are available (because of geography) to hold my hand or not... there is comfort in just knowing that they care.
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