Monday, July 12, 2010

Observations

I'm trying something new - to see if I can easily post more often... I'm posting from my email. I know going to the actual blogger site shouldn't be that much harder, but well... cut me some slack people - I'm trying to bring you content. HAHA!
My experience yesterday made me think about some things that might have been misconceptions before I had a child of my own. It is simply amazing how much their little tiny personalities can be different - and when they've got an opinion about something - it's usually not a mild opinion. It is typically at one of the extremes.
The grocery store experience was just simply amazing to me because one minute there we were happily shopping, smiling, and having a good time looking around at all the stuff... and the next minute - we were on total DEF CON 5 meltdown. There was simply no consoling James in that moment, and I thought back to the times before I had kids - that I just simply didn't understand what the parents were going through.
Kids are unpredictable and sometimes that can turn out to be messy. The interesting thing is that you could almost see the sympathy on the faces of the other mothers and fathers (the ones that were involved with raising their kids) - and then the ones that just didn't get it. I for one am NOT someone that would EVER draw attention to myself - so add that on top of the fit... and it makes for one stressful situation.
I just never realized how common that phenomenon could be. Now, all of that being said - I will certainly have a different thought process and sympathy when I see someone else going through it in public... or at a restaurant. I can totally relate - BUT there is also a tollerable level of allowing that to go on.
We've all been somewhere and seen the ladies standing around talking... ignoring their kids - while those kids tear up everything around them and just completely act like animals in public. I still don't have any patience for that or tollerace... but I don't see that as a problem with the children (never have) as much as the parents. I mean most of us can applaud a mother or father who has a child acting badly in public and tries to deal with it - sometimes that means they have to leave the store to prove a point... but ultimately - no matter what happens - they are parenting.
So many these days just simply don't do that - it's almost like their children are accessories instead of little people that need to learn from their parents. Those people are also the ones that drain our teachers of being able to do the things they could be doing in the classroom - because they instead have to spend their time parenting children who are lacking that at home. It's just a sad situation - and unfortunately happens more and more often in today's world.
All parents are different, just like children... and react in different ways to different situations. What is critically important to one parent - won't be a big deal to another... but it is always refreshing to me to see the parent teaching the child. Hopefully that is seen in a loving way - instead of like one instance I saw this weekend where a mother slapped her maybe 6 year old son in the back of the head while walking into a movie theater.
I guess above all else... I now have the experience to be able to see another mother in a store having a moment like I did yesterday, and completely understand what she's feeling. It might not be with the severity that I was feeling it - but hey... I'm pregnant on top of it all.
And, can I just say that I find it completely odd that I live in the South... am pregnant... have an infant... and yet people think it's okay to jump in front of me to get in a check out line... or get a parking place. Or even just backing out of the spot next to me... someone almost took my car door off yesterday while I was putting James' carseat back in the base... really guys? What happened to a little chivalry?! Am I really that spoiled by John, the men at my church, and the rest of our family?

3 comments:

  1. Oh, I LIKE this!! Whoopee for posts by email!

    I feel compelled to say absolutely nothing in response, because as I'm sure you can attest before getting James, non-parents thinking very highly of their own opinions about parenting but the fact is, we haven't walked an inch in a parents' shoes.

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  2. Preach it, sister!

    I was just having a conversation with the grocery store check-out clerk - I asked her, "Is it just me, or do people not give a rip about the fact that their kids are (a) killing the store, (b) beating each other over the head, and (c) screaming their ever loving heads off?" Her eyes got wide and she said, "Oh my gosh! Yes! Totally true! It is SO MUCH worse than it was, even just a few years ago."

    I'm sorry people - but there is a time to just leave the cart and exit stage left! (Gold star to you for doing so - for your baby's and your own needs! And double gold star for alerting the staff that you'd left a cart.)

    You are completely right - God holds us accountable for how we raise these precious children. Now that mine are teenagers (my eldest heading to college in weeks!) I'm so thankful for the Godly input and direction we were given as young parents. Read Boundaries yet? I still re-read it every year!

    And about blogging - I *adore* posting via Word. Formatting is a breeze and I can take my time and get all of the photos just the way I want them. :)

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  3. Always good to hear from you! I have fallen off the blogging/blog reading bandwagon and it is good to catch up!

    Although I have to say on the parenting thing...don't be so quick to judge even those with older kids. Just wait until you have two little monsters running around, one of which who still doesn't sleep through the night even though he's three, you are sleep deprived, exausted, and just trying to survive! And sometimes surviving (without harming a child) means letting them run a little amok while you chat with a friend and try to regain your sanity or complete that errand that needs to be done!

    I do get what your saying, but I have lived the other side many, many times as parenting has taken me to highs and lows that I never imagined possible for a sane, reasonable, well educated person!!!

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