Friday, March 4, 2011


I have gotten some good comments and some bad comments from yesterday's post, and I felt like I needed to say a few more things about the topic. In my migraine induced, sleep deprived state of mind that has been the sum total of this week - I neglected to make one of the points that I really wanted to put out there.

I've said this before, and naturally it is my opinion. This isn't up for debate really, but I can respectfully accept that not everyone will agree with me.

The thing I neglected to say is that I absolutely do not think that anyone's job defines them. I have always hated that question at parties and social gatherings because it just is such a small fraction of who a person IS. During the day, I am a database administrator and fund-raising professional. That does nothing to define who I am, what I stand for, what I believe, or even what I find important in this life.

One commenter went so far as to tell me that I am what is wrong with this country.

Oh really?

If a woman who spends every waking moment trying to make life better for her husband, children, family and friends is what is wrong - then yes, I am that person.

If a woman working to raise two infant boys into strong men who can do whatever they want in this life (including be a stay at home father if they so choose) is what is wrong with America - then once again, I'm guilty as charged.

If a woman who will work to teach my children that their job does not define them but their legacy through their relationships with others is the most important aspect of their lives is what is wrong with our country - I am guilty.

If a woman who believes 100% in the institution of marriage and the vows she took before God and who would stop at nothing to support and love my husband completely is what is wrong - I am guilty again.

If a woman who struggled through 8 years of infertility with as much grace and sincerity as one woman can muster with both good days and bad is what is wrong with America - lock me up and throw away the key.

If a woman who will spend every day of my life being grateful for the gift of a woman who chose life and adoption above abortion is what is wrong with America - that is me! 

If a woman who is a sinner, but lives through her faith in God to do the very best I can is what is wrong - lock me up and throw away the key.

I don't claim to always get it right, but I try my best - as I like to believe that we all do. Blogs are a fun and interesting form of social networking, because so many of us have taken up our own piece of the web to use as an outlet. I have always chosen to allow people to say whatever they wish about my writing - as long as it is done in a way that isn't obscene - and I let differing opinions fall where they may. I don't apologize for my views, as my critics likely wouldn't either.

Ultimately though, I am pretty proud of the person I strive to be: a good Christian, a good wife, a good mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, an infertility survivor, a writer, a recipe collector, a database administrator, a fundraising professional, and all the other facets of what makes me the whole person that I am.


  1. Pam Merdian BridgesMarch 4, 2011 at 10:49 AM

    I just love to read your blogs Kim!!!

  2. Brandy Rowe VincentMarch 4, 2011 at 10:50 AM

    Yesterdays and todays post were great. I love the comments on yesterdays ~ especially the person who took the time to comment on what a waste of time your blog was since all you did was comment on another blog... people are funny! Keep writing, you're great ;) And if you're what's wrong with this country we would be a lot better off.

  3. Great post. I think it's a fabulous reaction to both comments you received that referenced "what is wrong with America" even though both were attempting to make different points.

    I too am a mother and I teach my kids to respect choices. For example, a woman who chose abortion to save her life at one point in her journey only to have three beautiful children at another juncture is no worse or less of a human than a women who chooses differently. Does this make me "what's wrong with America today?

    If I raise my kids in a home where "marriage" means an equal partnership of love, compassion, compromise, and respect....where duties are shared and no one voice is prioritized over the other.... than I'm what's wrong with America.

    If I earn an MBA, become a Vice President of a Fortune 500 company, and later start a successful company of my own...if I wake each day equally proud of my accomplishments at the office as I am at home....then I'm what's wrong with America.

    If I teach my children to seek and learn from the Bible nothing more than Jesus' messages of tolerance, understanding, patience, acceptance, goodness and love - and to never, ever use literal interpretations as justification for closing your mind, judging, being intolerant and/or segregating human beings based on perceived differences - then I'm what's wrong with America.

    If I raise my kids to be independent, free thinking, curious, globally aware, intelligent, generous, respectful, and kind young adults....If I encourage them to consciously choose their own identities...and to never ever let society, politics, a church, their parents or any institution define who they are on their behalf- then I'm what's wrong with America.

    As you noted...I don't always claim to get it right, but I try my best. As we all do.


Thank you so much for your comments. I really enjoy getting feedback on my writing!