Friday, March 4, 2011

Thinking Back

Indulge me for a minute, will ya?

In my hyper-sensitive state of mind, I've been a little reflective lately. Which made me start thinking about a year ago... imagine us being just a week or two after a failed adoption placement, and we get another call that a second birth mother had chosen us for her baby.

I remember sitting there when John called me to tell me about her thinking... yeah right... sure... whatever. I was so jaded by our bad experience that I just couldn't imagine everything working out as it was supposed to... so I sort of wrote it off for a while.

It didn't help that initially she didn't want to meet us... so that made me even more skeptical. So I just sort of sat there numb, and keeping the whole situation at an arms length. I wasn't ready to deal with that sort of pain again and therefore was going to jump head first into ignoring the situation completely.

Funny how looking back on that, the self protection mechanism was so strong... and that poor girl was just as sure as the one before her that she was going to give us her baby. She said a lot of the same things as the previous birth mother - which made it that much harder to trust her...

Now sitting back almost a year later... it's funny how I remember those moments so distinctly... but also have the peace of knowing how everything worked out, and how James is just exactly where he is supposed to be today. Happy, Healthy, and Loved by two people that desperately wanted him more than anything else in the world.

There are truly never going to be words that would do enough to express how I feel about what that young lady has done for our family... or how her actions have changed all of our lives forever. Brave. Loving. Giving. Admirable. Generous. Godly. Those pale in comparison to what should be said about her.