Tuesday, August 2, 2011

D is for Definitions

Today is the last day to enter the King Doughnut Giveaway

I've been thinking about all the changes that we've been through in the last couple of years since writing that post, and that made the think of the differences in the way that I define myself these days. I don't always like who I am - but I try my best to be the best "me" I  can be. 

I used to be primarily a wife - which is a beautiful way to define yourself. A woman who loves deeply and is loved deeply. There is security in being a wife, and a freedom to be yourself... I went from that to adding infertile to my list of things that defined me. I then became the woman that had been told by doctors that I couldn't carry my own child naturally. 

That could have broken me, but luckily along the way - I added Christian to my list of things that define who I am. Thankfully, with God on my side - I didn't break over that news, I looked to him to provide the next steps for us to follow. That's where adoptive mother became one of the things that defines me... and finally with Tyler's birth... I feel like dropping the adoptive off of mother - because I am their mother equally and they are both precious gifts. 

All of that to really get to the point of saying that I'm in the process of changing how I define myself - mainly to myself. I tend to be my harshest critic, and only see the things that need improvement... my weight, my house keeping... frustrated parent...

I'm trying to work on redefining myself in the positive things that are around me instead of focusing on the things I need to do better. I would love to lose weight, keep my house cleaner, not get frustrated with my kids, be a better wife... but sometimes life is just an exercise in doing what you can and not sweating the small stuff. It will surely be two steps forward, 1 step backward as a process.

I woke up yesterday and decided that I was going to enjoy being at home with the boys - whining, crying, frustration, lack of proper naps, and all. You know what, we had a good day. I caught myself in all the sweet smiles and achievements instead of letting myself get stuck in the rut of being ungrateful for the blessings that I have. 

Moving so far from home for the first time has been difficult. It's meant that I left all the comforts behind, and I have to change everything. We went to a small group session on Sunday at church - which meant that we have now found a group of people that we can get to know, and hopefully build some friendships from. I also joined a MOPS group - with the potential for more friends and play groups. The boys Mother's Day Out program starts back up next week too for the school year... so things are about to start settling in a bit more - which is exciting for me.

I need reasons to get dressed and get out of the house - so that I can be the best person I can be... I need other wives and mothers to interact with so that I can gain from their experience and share mine. I hope that these things will make my new definitions stronger and richer... and allow me to become one other thing that is near and dear to my heart... a better writer. Which, hopefully you... my dear friends... can benefit from - more stories to share, more topics to cover, and more interesting photos of the boys to come!
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1 comment:

  1. Well said! (or written, ha!) I agree that how we define ourselves *to ourselves* is so important. I'm learning to count the gifts I have and name them with gratitude, instead of focusing so much on what I don't have. It is really changing the way I see myself, which of course has such a huge impact on how I parent and how I interact with my husband.

    I'm excited that you are joining a MOPS group! I don't think the ones here start until September, but I am definitely going to find a way to join one. I think fellowship and encouragement from other moms in our situations will help us both so much!! Here's to new beginnings, and new definitions! :)

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